If You Are Not The One

Chapter Thirteen: Hanging By a Moment Here With You

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me now...

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

~Hanging By A Moment by Lifehouse~

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She stared down apprehensively at the toilet, kneeling with that nauseous and light headed sensation. Frustrated, Kagome clutched her stomach as she tried to impulse forward and goad vomit. The bitter taste at the tip of her tongue and her face sallow. For a minute, she though she'd actually force out what was making her feel so ill, but immediately the hot substance pushed back down her throat. Her position did not change but a hand reached upward for some toilet paper, she grabbed the sheets and pulled hard so they'd detach from the rest of the role. After wiping her mouth, she threw the paper down the toilet before flushing it out of sight.

Finally she managed to get up, smoothing away the wrinkles from her prim little business skirt and then tucking in her shirt. Staring at the swirl pool before her, Kagome's stomach growled as she inaccurately stared without reason or consent; knowing it was quite obvious her body would react negatively to the scene. Not knowing what to do next, she covered her mouth as the toilet provoked her nausea. She stormed out the seventh stall from the twelve in a public restroom.

Standing before her reflection meanwhile panting heavily; she ignored all the signs of sickness, letting her naturally wavy hair flow free from the bobby pins before washing her hands quickly. She had not felt this way in a long time and the memories worsen her state of mind than providing any help whatsoever. Gazing at her surrounding as she rinsed, she noticed for the first time since she ran in about five minutes ago, that the spacious facility was utterly deserted.

Once finished, she swallowed hard as she went through her genuine Gucci handbag searching for a pack of cigarettes. When she found one lonely stick of nicotine, she desperately got out her pink lighter and flicked it, rapidly sucking in a breath of smoke while flaring her cigarette to life before she'd suffer another nervous breakdown. She could feel the very heat of the fresh smoke and the force of her lungs pushing it forward. It was potent but surprisingly sweet. She sealed her lips around her cigarette like she was trying to squeeze it to death and inhaled like she was afraid to breathe without a cigarette being involved. She sipped her smoke, barely seeming to inhale, but that was deceptive, for she seemed to be able to hold more smoke in her lungs than any other two women combined.

When she finally recovered from nearly passing out, she hoisted herself infront of the bathroom sink and took about a dozen tic-tacs. Eventually, Kagome walked out the bathroom only to find Miroku still there waiting for her while casually leaning with his back to the wall, meanwhile holding a bottle of water. Kagome smiled weakly at the man dressed in one of his usual suits and purple ties. He handed her the water bottle which she gladly took as he generously offered, a worried expression put in place.

Miroku tried to console her; worried something serious was up. "Listen Sakura, you know Inuyasha isn't here today, so I wouldn't mind covering up for you for the rest of today while you go home and rest." Kagome almost choked on her water as she took a sip. Was he serious? There was no way in hell she could possibly get away with that. Inuyasha would kill her the next day.

"Miroku that sounds wonderful, believe me. But as tempting as it may be, I have an appointment with Mr. Onigumo's son today at three o'clock. I'm sure you're aware of what would happen if I cancel without Inuyasha's consent." She continued to sip from her water bottle as they walked to the nearest lounge.

He nodded. "Trust me, I know. But I can always talk to Inuyasha concerning an employees' health and I'm sure he'll understand." Miroku assured with a smile. Kagome had to acknowledge that he behaved very much like the real gentlemen that he was whenever he was around her, she had taken a real liking to him, and he was always so sweet. He respected her and Kagome knew it wasn't only because of Sango's threats, and for that she liked the guy even more.

"I don't know if I can just ...leave." She shrugged, confused whether she should take his offer or avoid facing the ugly consequences.

He chuckled. "Relax Sakura, I wouldn't mind taking over your job for the rest of the day. I would probably just send you the paper work later on." He urged on and held the door open for her as they entered the lounge.

"Are you positively sure? Because, I can always finish today if I have to." Kagome reassured him as she drank what was left of her water bottle, and followed him to an empty table located next to one of the building's large rectangular glass walls.

Miroku generously offered Kagome a chair, and she returned the gesture with a harmonious smile as he sat across from her.

"I promise, besides, Inuyasha isn't too happy to negotiate when it comes to Naraku..." She could tell that he was insinuating something as he spoke in a more earnest tone, his features also seemed to subdue for a split second before he caught her eyes and smiled heartwarmingly, choosing to change the subject quickly. "Believe me, gorgeous, when I tell you to go home and get some rest. That way, you can lighten up that beautiful face for tomorrow."

Kagome said thankful. "My God, when exactly did you get so incredibly sweet?"

"It's a genetic gift, I know." He said offering a beam of his own. "Too bad my charming twin brother doesn't have the good genes, huh?"

"Miroku, you're an only child."

"Says who?"

"Sango and Inuyasha."

"They're just jealous I have no siblings." He said sarcastically, sporting a hurtfull expression.

Kagome laughed, gratefully feeling he would most likely follow through. "Thanks so much, seriously you're the best there is, Miroku."

"No problem... However, don't take this the wrong way but I was hoping you could do me a favor in return..." He stated honestly, and winked in a suggestive manner, hoping she'd give him a hand as well.

"From you, I guess it would depend what the favor is." Kagome wasn't sarcastic but merely obvious she still did not trust him completely.

"Alright, then please tell me you've also noticed how Sango and I are perfect for each other?" He asked in a way that deserved an honest answer. Kagome smiled and nodded thinking she shouldn't lie about knowing Miroku would make a good boyfriend.

"I wouldn't say a match made in heaven, but yeah, you would make one hell of a couple." She responded.

He threw his hands in the air thankful from the fact that they agreed. "Exactly! You just proved my point that I'm not completely going insane."

"Okay, so where precisely are you aiming at with all this?" she raised an eyebrow, mocking seriousness, contemplating on what in the world he was going on about.

"You are her best friend, the least you could do is to find a way to hook her up with me and dump that asswipe who's been after my wife."

"I like Hinten…" She said sincerely and Miroku looked at her as if she were some kind of nutcase.

"I like Hinten." He had this hysterical look on his face as he mimicked her playfully, but Kagome threw her head back and laughed at him as if he were speaking a funny language. "I thought you were on my side." He finally whined and sighed.

"I am. All I'm saying is that he's irresistibly likeable, that's all." She said defensively.

"The guy's a freakin' manic waiting to get into her innocent panties; that's what he is." A slight grin formed on her face and her body shook a little with the effort to hold back a laugh

"Or maybe it could be vise versa." She subjected and giggled at his deer caught by headlights expression.

"C'mon Sakura, I'm honest here. All you would have to do is sweet-talk her into going out with me." She looked at him expectantly and raised an eyebrow of her own when he practically poured his heart out; seriously, she didn't know whether to laugh or cry. His adorable sincerity made him appear obviously in love.

Sighing, she no longer could resist and gave in. "Alright, but what would I get from my munificent compensation my melodramatic friend?"

He agreed. "I'll let you babysit Kirara whenever you want; it can't get better than that."

"I thought you would have let me regardless?" She disappointedly pointed out bluntly.

"Of course, but I'll also add in an all-you-can-eat ice cream coupon at Diary Queens—" He tried to persuade her but Kagome cut him off before reconsidering.

"—deal, consider it done," Kagome said straightaway without thinking the proposal twice, always being a sucker for Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream.

He couldn't believe his ears. "Seriously? You'll help out?"

"I'll see what I can do, but don't expect a hundred percent of satisfaction guaranteed."

"Awesome." He rejoiced and somewhat grinned at the fact that he always won women over with the magical help of ice-cream. "Your effort is all the guarantee I need Sakura."

"…hey huh, Miroku?"

"Yeah, Sakura?"

"So where exactly is Inuyasha today...?"

He stared longingly at the scenery from hundred of feet above the ground on top of an almost finished but entirely discarded construction site. Sitting at the very ledge with his legs hanging over the abyss, He gazed profoundly at nothing in particular.

Kagome's bowels seemed to swivel and swirl as she gazed out towards him, knowing she was meters above ground. However, his still composure successfully managed to cloak his depression and sorrow since she could see through them. Getting up from a latter, she slowly walked barefoot towards him; every step was soundless on the cement as she gradually drew near. He knew she was approaching yet he remained motionless, his eyes blank and dead.

Taking a seat next to him, she looked forth the view, knowing it was unquestionably worth the anticipated climb. Though it wasn't the tallest of structures, you could see the tiny crowds of people all walking rapidly to every direction. And farther into the distance, you could see the ocean and if she closed her eyes tight enough, she could even feel it as if she were actually there.

However, when they were home, at the very heart of Tokyo and you look ahead, all you can probably see is building after building. Not even from the Takahashi Building, the tallest in the country, could you see far ahead to the ocean since it resided wrapped so much in the center of the immense city.

A flock of seagulls flew around them, landing on the ground of the isolated edifice. A short time later they flew off, with only two remaining near by. The wind slightly blew her long stresses, playfully resurrecting them to life as they danced in mid air and the breeze collided with her face ever so gently; his hair on the other hand was braided along his back not interfering with his contemplation. But at the same time he stared straight ahead at something she could not see, his look was so drawn from reality.

"Inuyasha," she whispered over, knowing that he would hear her. He looked up, refocusing his eyes from the gaudy world to her pale face. His moment of tranquility was abruptly unstable. "I know you feel the need to, but whatever you do don't jump," she joked around but his expression only softened as he looked over at her.

"If I do, I'm taking you down with me." He grinned from the corner of his lips momentarily following her game.

"What are you doing here?" He asked in a non discourteous way, but merely indicating he was surprised to see her.

Kagome smiled meekly. "Miroku said you'd be moping around here, so I thought you might need some company." She explained and he brought his attention back to the panorama. "So how come you weren't at work today?" She asked eminently.

"As the boss, I can choose to not go to work whenever I want. What's your excuse?" He carried on the conversation half-heartedly.

She reached for her jean's front pocket and took out her second cigarette and her handy dandy pink lighter. "I'm still feeling like I got ran over by a pick-up truck, is that good enough?" She said and brought the object carefully to her lips.

"I suppose it is." He stole a glance at her, watching as she closed her eyes and drew it in like the caress of a lover.

"So how's Shippo?" The smoke blowing between her scarlet lips as she glimpsed towards his direction as well.

"Fine, I guess..." He responded lifelessly yet curiously studying her every movement. He couldn't break the gaze of just watching her take a drag after the other. Eventually, he stopped staring and remained silent for about five minutes, not interrupting her smoke.

Kagome took a moment to rethink her words and tried to get his attention. "Listen, Inuyasha?" He did not even flinch or gave a sign he was no longer listening, but just blankly staring away.

"…I'm sorry about what I said two nights ago, about how you don't understanding what I was going through. I didn't mean it like that." Her apology being the sole reason why she went through all the trouble of soughing him out.

He rolled his eyes. If there was something Inuyasha hated, he would definitely say apologies were one at the top of the list. Annoyed with the fact that all she did was to apologize as if he were one to hold grudges. "Must you always apologize for everything?"

"I have to; otherwise I'll feel like shit." She rationalized.

"Then apology accepted."

Goddamn, this woman must be all lungs. He thought and wrinkled his nose. When finally she wrapped her fingers around her cigarette and lowered it from her lips, she looked around and in back of her. "What is this place anyway?"

"It was supposed to be a hospital." He explained and once again stole a glance at her, fascinated with how much interest she put in her cigarette. And she would play with it, licking her tongue around her lips, expelling smoke in a tight corkscrew curl, even shaping tiny rings.

"Well what happened, how come it's not a hospital now?" She asked not knowing he was interested in architecture.

He looked away from her face that only helped to resurrect his spouse's memory. "My wife died, that's what happened."

Her head inclined as she stared down at her hards, "I'm sorry." Kagome whispered shamefully.

"Damnit, would you stop apologizing for everything!" He glared and she simply couldn't find the strength to say anything that would emend his discomfort.

Surprisingly, in due course, he just felt the need to continue. "She died three years ago, this very day. This was her dream."

A durable pause thickened the air.

She felt him unruffled eventually and no longer radiate apprehension as he fidget on his seat. Stubbing her cigarette on the cement edge next to where she sat, Kagome threw it in the air and watched as it fell from more than fifty feet in the air.

Eyeing her fingernails as if she was as much interested on them as Inuyasha was on the ocean view; she frowned not knowing how to acknowledge her comprehension and consideration. Tempting to regain his trust, she offered him a smile and a small nudge which he responded to by elbowing her back in an affectionate way.

"Did you love her?" He didn't answer because he didn't feel like there was a need to and Kagome understood.

He hesitated for a minute not sure how to put his words, unable to reword his thoughts in order for them to properly come to life. "I…" Kagome didn't want to pressure him into thinking he had to tell her anything he dealt with unless he decided that he really needed to, so she listened. Instead, he questioned her something he struggled with. "...do you believe in God, Sakura?"

"Yes...I believe Kami exist in every one of us. And though sometimes the spirits have a funny way of showing it, they're there and they are always listening. In essence, watching out for us, you know."

"I don't believe there's such a thing as a God. Just a bunch of bull made up in order for weak people to hold onto something." He was never a real follower of the Shinto faith.

"Weakness is far from it. I think that sometimes when the spirits do things, they might not seem right at first but in reality it always works out for our own good."

"Isn't Kami fair with you?" He raised a brow as he asked, tempted to somehow understand her point of view.

"I can't question why Kami does things Inuyasha, it's a matter of whether you believe it or not. But if you do, then like my grandfather says; you're blessed above all else."

"Then why do you suffer so much if God exists?"

"I accept things. However, sometimes I wish they were different, I guess somethings weren't meant to be. I no longer blame this supernatural force for my misfortune. After a while, you tend to succumb to life and move on. Things always happen, I'm only human, you know. Besides, not all of us can appear iron like you do."

Inuyasha smirked. "You're damn right."

"However, things have a tendency of balancing out over time, complementary opposites within a greater whole, you know; yin and yang." She had a warm smile that caused her dimples to become even more noticeable, she enveloped admiration in him.

He nodded.

"You know what I think about you, Inuyasha?" She leaned sideways, her weight resting on Inuyasha and her head on his shoulder. Hesitantly at first, he slowly brought his arm to rest on her shoulders remaining quiet as she continued on out loud with her thoughts.

Kagome slid her harm to warp around his back. "I think that you're already blessed, even if you don't believe and it doesn't appear that way. I think that just because you loved your wife and she loved you back, that's already a blessing on its own."

Thinking on what she said, he objected. "These spirits of yours took Kikyou away from me."

Kagome frowned, wishing he'd see how fortunate he already was for having health and a steady profession, but over all, friends who cared. "Maybe, but Kami allowed you to know and love her. The spirits gave you something special that others yarn to know of, and even if it didn't last as long as you would have preferred it to, they gave you something pure to remember. Not all of us can have that same gift."

Inuyasha was speechless, utterly flabbergasted.

"Just remember Inuyasha, the world owes you nothing, just have faith in Kami and hope that things will get better..." She whispered in his ear, and he couldn't bring his eyes to hers.

He had not thought about faith in years, not after Kikyou had passed away. It wasn't that he was any religious before, but never had he questioned the means of faith like he did now. In a way, he was somewhat afraid she was right and that all he was missing in life was simply any insignificant form of faith. Hope that would give a meaning to his pointless life and mend his torn up heart.

"And you know what else?" she continued on.

"What?" He allowed her to express her beliefs.

Kagome went on. "I believe that when an old door closes, a new one tends to open right back out for a second chance."

He snorted and wondered whether a door would soon open for him.

"Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much?"

"I might have heard it before…" She sounded a little hurt from his comment. They remained in silence just listening to their surroundings, each trapped in their own thoughts. It was obvious now, that they shared a strong likeness which made their friendship stronger than ever. Though they would never admit it at the instant, they were glad to share this moment together.

Inuyasha sighed, not entirely sure why she tried so hard to cheer him up when she was obviously having problems of her own. "What does Kami want from you, Sakura…from me?"

She didn't respond right away.

"Truth is...I don't know yet, Inuyasha. But for whatever reason Kami went through all that trouble to take away what we most loved, it must be pretty big if you ask me. I guess Kami just had other plans for people like you and I, like as if we were each born to do something different than we expected."

Inuyasha nodded, still holding onto Kagome's shoulder, realizing how much he missed having someone close to have a good time with. Inhaling what was her exclusively unique scent; he exhaled a long breath he had held onto all day.

Kagome shifted uncomfortably as her stomach growled; then realization hit her as she said with innocent widen eyes. "Hey do you want to get some ice cream? I think I saw a Dairy Queen two blocks from here." Her voice was cheerfully as excitement broadened her face and the glint in her eyes brightened. He gazed at her from the corner of his eyes and noticed she appeared almost immaculate as she radiated with a light of her own, she was tempting and yet contagious.

Suddenly, liquid topaz eyes softened as they clashed with big brilliant cerulean orbs.

"Sure."

And then, unexpectedly, a sincere smile found his lips, one she adored and had long not seen, literally taking her breath away.

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DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA AND CO. I REPEAT...THEY DO NOT BELONG TO ME WHATSOEVER, ONLY TO THE VERY TALENTED MISS RUMIKO TAKAHASHI.