A/N: Dear valued readers/reviewers, I have a few things I want to apologize for as I will neatly list dow below:

1. Sorry for taking forever to update. My exams lasted a whole freaking month.

2. I know you guys really wanted our sweet couple to kiss. I'm sorry but that will have to wait. *runs and hides in bomb shelter*

3. Sorry for ranting. Skip the next paragraph if you want.

I hate my science examiner! She marked me a wrong for stating being alkalic as a property of calcium hydroxide. Well it is an alkali! Right people? And there was this question asking us to state one importance of using toothpaste coming out of the blue and when I wrote that it contains flourine that mantains the enamel coating on teeth she gave me another freaking wrong. I DO NOT get her. Sigh... and I got a 'B' on history... sniff. Well. Anyway. Rant over. Enjoy~~

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It was a bright summer day. The sun beat down on him as he ran the few hundred yards to her house, excitement temporarily blocking out all else. Skidding to a halt outside the door, he banged impatiently on the faded white wood.

A woman opened the door, and stepped aside in practised surety as the little six-year-old all but tore up the stairs, forgetting his usual polite greeting. She smiled as she heard him yell her daughter's name, wondering what on earth it was this time that had gotten him so worked up.

"Nicole!" he yelled, barging into her room and brandishing a pokeball. "Look what I got! My first pokemon!"

"Where? What is it? Lemme see, lemme see!" His best friend launched herself at him eagerly, her pleated blonde hair flying. Together, they sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the pokeball in fascination.

"It's a Scyther," he explained proudly. "Gramps caught it for me."

"You're so lucky, Blue!" Nicole exclaimed. "My mom says I don't need one yet." Then she looked around cautiously as if she was expecting her mom to pop out of nowhere. "But I really want one," she stage-whispered. Then her eyes lit up. "Do you think you could catch one for me?" she asked in growing excitement, bouncing slightly on her bed.

"Sure!" Blue replied confidently. "All you have to do is battle the pokemon and throw a pokeball at it. I can do that, easy." He puffed out his chest proudly.

"Then let's do it!" she said brightly before sobering. "But my mom will never let me into the grass without a grown-up… How are we supposed to catch a pokemon if we can't even get to where it lives?"

Blue thought for a moment. "We could always sneak out…"

Nicole beamed at him. "Blue, you are a genius." She hugged him, and he grinned. "I'll use my pokemon to help. Scyther, come on out!"

With Nicole's blanket and comforter and a lot of Scyther's help, the two six-year-olds snuck out through her window. "This is so exciting!" she whisper-squealed. "I'm gonna pick a really cute one and it'll be my other bestest friend and all four of us can do loads of stuff together!"

"Then why are we still talking? Let's do some pokemon hunting!" Blue quipped, genuinely excited for his best friend. They were so close that they did practically everything together. They shared everything, teamed up in anything and told each other all their secrets. Maybe this time he could do something for her. Make her happy. Whichever pokemon she picked, he would definitely catch for her.

They stepped into the tall grass, Nicole keeping her eyes peeled for anything she might like for her own.

"Look, Nicole," Blue whispered, catching sight of a Ratatta. "There's one."

She looked. "Nah. It's not cute enough."

After some time walking around in the grass, she paused. "There. That one. I want that one." She pointed at a female Nidoran sleeping under a tree. "That one's cute."

"Okay. If you say so. Go, Scyther! Use Quick Attack!"

The Nidoran woke up with a squeal as Scyther attacked it. It flailed for a moment before trying to retaliate using Poison Sting.

"Scyther, use Quick Attack again!" Blue yelled, his heart thumping double-time. This was his first battle ever, and he wasn't sure how it would turn out. He would win... right?

"Nido-ran!" With a cry, the little pokemon was overpowered, and as it shrank back against the tree, Blue held up a pokeball triumphantly.

Suddenly, loud rustling came from somewhere to their right and the two children turned around to see a massive Nidoqueen appearing from the grass.

"Nido!" The Nidoran cried and scrambled to hide behind its mother. The Nidoqueen glanced at the injuries on Nidoran, and turned back to glare at Blue and Nicole murderously.

"I don't think that big pokemon wants to make friends," Nicole whispered, terrified.

Blue was the first to make a move. "Run!" he yelled, and the two of them sprinted off in different directions. The Nidoqueen cast between the two children, and decided to go for the more offensive looking one that had bright yellow hair and wore a red hoodie.

Nicole screamed as the Nidoqueen thundered after her, and Blue skidded to a halt, twisting around. "Nicole!"

Several trees blocked her path, and backed against the trunk of one, she could only scream as the hundred-over pounds of enraged pokemon came at her without any intent to stop.

"Bluuue!"

"No! Nicole!"

Then there was a massive crash, and the tree toppled over from the sheer force of the impact.

She died instantly.

Blue sank to his knees, horrified. Too late, his and Nicole's parents arrived on scene with backup pokemon, probably after finding the blankets dangling from the window.

"Nicole…" he whispered. His best friend was gone. Gone forever.

She was gone, and it was all his fault.

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Blue

My eyes flew open, and I was breathing heavily as I took in my immediate surroundings. My heart was thumping rapidly, which was unusual for me, and I took a long moment to reorient myself.

I blinked up at the ceiling. I was lying on a bed, in a small room and my right arm was surprisingly heavy for some reason. But at that moment that wasn't really relevant.

Nicole.

It had been over ten years. What had possessed my mind to drag up that long-lost memory? There was no point remembering now, even if Nicole had been the closest friend I ever had. Exhaling wearily, I closed my eyes again. She was gone. And she was never coming back.

After that incident, I was never the same again. I lost the cheerful brightness every child my age then should have. My mother became paranoid and she sent me to Cianwood city in the Johto region to train under her old friend, Chuck. The old gym leader taught me much, and though it had been hard I didn't resent one moment of it. It was worth it.

I swore to myself that it would not happen again. I learned to protect myself and others, but that wasn't all. Nicole's death had forced me to grow up before my time. I became very particular about strategies and plans and backup plans, and I was terrified of bonding because I knew how much breaking a bond would hurt. I tied down my emotions, I prioritised efficiency, I made myself cold and distant. I made myself forget that painful memory, but I lived on never forgetting the consequences.

It wasn't long before that became who I was. And for nine years I lived like that. I never wanted it to change, never expected that it would change.

Until now.

Turning my head, I opened my eyes to see Kathy nestled comfortably against my right side, her arm thrown over mine. I remembered the day before, when we had been messing around at the market. It had been so much like the days long gone when Nicole was still there. I remembered laughing, the first time I laughed because I was happy in a long time. I remembered our light conversation that evening, about dates and relationships. I remembered how Kathy snuggled right up next to me when we kicked off our shoes and went to sleep.

She reminded me so much of Nicole, even though they were physically nothing alike. Nicole had long blonde hair and bright aqua eyes. Kathy had shoulder-length hair and brown eyes. But what made them similar was their joy and positive outlook at life, the cheerfulness and trust they gave nearly everyone. Kathy was just like Nicole.

And Nicole had died.

I turned to look out the window, at the first rays of dawn streaking through the clouds. This was a reminder. A reminder of what could happen if I grew close to someone. A painfully unforgettable reminder of the tearing pain I felt ten years ago.

Maybe there was a point in remembering, after all.

I turned back to Kathy again. She was so peaceful, so trusting. She knew nothing of the pain this world was capable of dealing out. She was young and innocent, naïve and unsuspecting.

But I wasn't.

At that moment, I made up my mind. I would not have the same incident happening again. I would not let her get close, I would not lower my guard, and most of all I would not, would not get attached.

Because I had made that mistake once before, and I would not make it again.

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Kathy

When I woke up, sunlight was streaming in through the windows and Blue was nowhere to be seen. Rubbing my eyes, I sat up and looked around the little room. He had taken his pokemon, but left his backpack on the table. I supposed he would be coming back.

Shuffling over to the toilet, I cleaned myself up. Yesterday was so much fun. Seeing Blue actually open up was beyond awesome. I had the feeling that he hadn't had fun in years, and I was so glad I could make a difference to his dreary life.

My mind was drifting off as I finished brushing my teeth and dumped my dirty set of clothes in the sink to wash. Last night, when we came back, I had decided to push my limits and see how Blue would respond to some cuddling. So I boldly snuggled up to him and clutched his arm and you know what he did? He went totally blank. Which is saying a lot for a guy like him. It was totally adorable. Then he relaxed and allowed me to shift closer.

I really wanted to know why he was so distant, because the lack of interaction was seriously doing nothing for his mental health. But he didn't seem the sort of person you could just casually ask and expect a straight answer from, if you get what I mean. So I thought maybe I should make a plan or something and finagle it out of him. Go figure.

Hanging up the damp clothes on the shower rod, I shuffled back outside to see Blue returning from wherever he went, holding a small package. I raised an eyebrow questioningly at him, and he stared back flatly. "Breakfast," he said simply, then turned to rummage in his backpack.

Okay, that was a little weird. What happened to the 'duh-this-is-breakfast-what-did-you-think-it-was-lunch?' wisecrack thingy?

"Blue, is something wrong? You seem a little off."

He gave me another flat stare, but this time did not deign to reply. Dismissing me, he turned back to his backpack.

Scratch that. That was really weird.

"Seriously, what happened? You're going all distant again."

He gave me a look that I think was an exasperated glare. Hard to tell, really. "We're leaving in five minutes."

Translated: I am not going to wait for you.

"Fine, be a rock all you want," I muttered, checking out the package. "I was just trying to help."

Silence. It was very uncomfortable. Whatever happened to the easy banter and the smiles? It was like he went back to being a distant stranger again. In silence I finished my small meal, muttered a 'thanks' and gathered up my stuff. Then I followed as Blue went downstairs.

I managed to keep my mouth shut for 10 minutes before I couldn't take it anymore. The silence was deafening and it was annoying as crap that he wouldn't talk to me. Running over to stand in front of him, I gave him a good old glare. "Blue! What the freakin' hell is wrong with you, huh? Tell me right now."

"Nothing," he deadpanned, and stepped to a side. "Now if you'll excuse me we need to get to Cerulean city before dark."

"Not before I get an answer out of you. What is wrong with you? You were being so great yesterday! Did something happen?" I moved to block his way again, fuming.

"No," he said firmly, eyes blazing. "Why do you even want to know?"

"Because I care!" I nearly yelled at him. It was fortunate that we were already a distance away from Vermillion. "I don't want to see you so cold and alone and always so… so sad. You shouldn't have to be like that!" My voice lowered. "You shouldn't have to."

His emerald green eyes flickered, and for a moment I saw pain behind those sharp orbs. Then it was gone, and Blue's shoulders slumped. "But I do," he said quietly, and brushed past me, readjusting his backpack on his back. I watched him, lost for words.

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