Ugh! Finally a new update :) I'm sorry it took so long but for some reason I just didn't know what to write so it took me a while heheh.
Enjoy this mertina chapter!
Meredith finally got back home from the hospital. She was exhausted. The long surgery and the conversation with dr. Blair have sucks the life out of her. She was tired, confused, and mostly shocked from the incredible coincidence about dr. Blair. Meredith couldn't wait to get into the hot tub water and crawl into her warm bed.
She entered the house and went to her bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror. She couldn't even recognize herself anymore. The happy, shiny, clever, enthusiastic girl who she was a few years ago was gone and replaced with dark, sad, frustrated, and exhausted one. Her eyes no longer had their shine. Her cheeks weren't as blushed. She was pale, and depressed, an in pain. So much pain was built in her body. Emotionaly, sure. But she couldn't barely handle the physical pain. Every morning she hoped that this day would go smoothly, and then she gets out of her bed and these hopes are being crushed. Pain was one thing. She could try and handle it. But hiding her pain? Hiding her story? From her friend? From Cristina? From Derek?? This was a whole new level of torture.
A few tears managed to escape her eyes, sliding down her pale cheeks. She dried them off but they kept coming back. She was just about to rip her clothes off and step into the hot water when she suddenly heard a faint knock on the door. Cristina. "Come in" She said lightly. "Hi mer" Cristina said as she opened the door and walked towards the drawer next to the toilet without even looking at Meredith. "What are you doing?" Meredith said as she tried to stop herself from crying and her voice cracked. "Looking for som toilet paper, Izzy and George ran out of it" Cristina said as she shoved her hand into the drawer one more time. "You're not going to find it there" Meredith whispered, trying to stop the tears one more time. Cristina slowly turned around. "What is it? Are you okay?" Cristina asked softly as she grabbed Meredith's right arm and squeezed it gently. "Yeah, it's nothing, I'm fine." She said quickly as she whipped the tears off of her face and looked at the floor. Cristina's face suddenly filled with anger. She couldn't stand it anymore. "NO" she snapped as Meredith looked up at her, very confused. "You are so not fine, Meredith..." Cristina said with anger but with a worried expression on her face. Meredith was confused. She opened her mouth to defend herself but Cristina stopped her. "No. I'm talking now." Cristina said as she closed the door. "If there's anything I've learned in the past two years is that Meredith Grey cannot admit that she's a human being. You're always 'fine' but you never are! So either you tell my now what the hell is wrong or I will get it out of you" Cristina said as she looked into Meredith's tearing eyes. "It's really nothing Cristina.. I'm fi-" Meredith tried to speak again. "NO!! You're not fine! You are not close to being fine! You have scars covering you whole body, you have nightmares, you wake up in pain every morning, I see you swallowing these pills of yours every day, you never talk about anything, you secretly cry in the bathroom, you have panic attacks and you faint, AND YOU KEEP SAYING THAT YOU ARE FREAKING FINE WHEN YOU CLEARLY ARE NOT!" Cristina snapped. Meredith was scared. How could Cristina possibly know all of those things? The scars? The nightmares? The pain pills?. But that didn't matter right now because Cristina was right. "How?" Meredith asked quietly as the tears kept running. "I say you with a v shirt once, we sleep over all the time so I know that you wake up in the middle of every night, sweating and shaking, and the pills? I have known since last year you were taking them daily, but I just recently figured out they were pain relievers..." Cristina said, almost feeling guilty for knowing all of this. Meredith couldn't speak. She froze and looked into her friend's angry eyes . "I-" Meredith tried to speak again, but failed. "I am your person mer. I'm your best friend since the first day of the last year of Ned school. We have done everything together for the passed two years. You can tell me anything, Meredith. You should tell me everything. I'm here for you, and I absolutely cannot watch you suffer like that." Cristina said with tears in her eyes. All Meredith could do is stare at Cristina with fear and nodd. "Okay" she managed to whisper. "I'll tell you" She said as she whipped the tears. "Thank you" Cristina whispered back, crying too.
Cristina and Meredith sat on Meredith's bed, staring at each other. Meredith took a deep breath as she stopped her sobs and whispered to herself "here we go..". Cristina looked scared of what her friend might say. She expected the worst, but she definitely did not expect what Meredith was about to tell her...
"So, it all started about four years ago.. I met a guy named Julian," Meredith shivered just from saying his name "and we fell in love. We were perfect, we enjoyed each other. We bought an apartment together, we even considered getting a dog too" she smiled. "Julian" shivers again "went to law school and I started med school and everything was pretty perfect, until" she felt her tears trying to get out of her eyes again "until about three years ago his mom died due to cancer. He freaked out. He started drinking to cover his pain, he dropped out of school, and at some point he even started doing drugs.. he was a mess. Depression took over. He was no longer who he used to be and I witnessed this change but did nothing. I felt guilty, so I didn't leave him even though I couldn't stand being with him. We went to see psychologists, therapists, he was even given anti psychotics.. oh god" She chocked on her tears. "Mer.. it's okay, breathe" Cristina conforted her. "Okay.. he just... one day he got home and started acting weirder than ever.. eventually I found out that he has been drinking, while taking his anti psychotics as usual" Meredith continued as Cristina's face were shocked "What?..." Cristina said quietly as She started understanding. "Yeah. Eventually later that day, he has gone completely crazy. It got to the point that he took out a gun and.." Meredith tried to speak but the tears kept dripping "and he shot me. Once. In the chest. And if that wasn't enough for you, Cristina, you'll be glad to know that after I passed out he took me and threw me out of the window. And then he shot himself in the head." Meredith said she she waited to see Cristina's reaction.
Cristina couldn't talk because she was too shocked. Obviously. She was shocked because she didn't expect to hear these words coming out of Meredith's mouth. The woman who she called her person, eventually got shot and throw out of a window. By her freaking boyfriend.
Cristina couldn't do anything but to start crying into Meredith's chest. This ended completely different than what she expected...
I am begging you. REVIEW. Please.