Viva Las Vampires

Taffy-Isabella

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Twilight, or any of the bands I mention. I don't. How sad...

Summary: Takes place about two years after the ending of Breaking Dawn. Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rose are up for a trip of their lives. Where to, you ask? Vegas! Vegas, meet the Twilight Vampires. Vampires, have fun in Vegas.!

A/N: So... I lied. This is the beginning of the strip poker chapter. AKA, the Elevator Emmett chapter. The band for this chapter is... Nickelback. They're so darn amazing. xD.

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Emmett POV (because he's just so fun);

"Rosalieeee," I whispered, sneaking up on her, "I'm going to get youuuu."

"Emmett, if you tackle me... I swear to God, I'm leaving you."

"You could never leave me, baby," I said, laughing, "You'd miss me as much as I'd miss you."

"This is probably true," my angel said, and turned around to face me with a playful little smirk on her face. Oh how I loved those lips.

"Probably true? No. Is true," I smiled.

"Eh, I don't know. I think I could move on if I tried hard enough. You're not that easy to love, so it'd probably be easier to hate you."

I frowned and crossed my arms, offended. "So, you're saying you could just up and leave me anytime you wanted?!"

"Pretty much, yeah."

There was a moment of awkward silence while I glared at my lovely wife, and she smiled sweetly back at me.

"That's not fair!" I finally said, whining and pouting.

"What isn't fair?" Rosalie asked, turning around to continue unpacking her bag.

"That you could just leave me all willy-nilly, and I could never do that to you."

"You're damn right, you couldn't. I would never let you."

"See? That's not fair! You don't own me! It's not like you could keep me here!" I said, defiantly, uncrossing my arms and letting my chin jut up, just a little.

Rosalie whipped around, an eyebrow raised.

"Really? Want to bet?"

I laughed loudly. "Sure. I bet you...a kiss, that I could get away from you if I wanted too."

Rosalie rolled her eyes, and replied, "A kiss, Emmett, really?"

"Well, what do you want me to bet? To spend tonight alone with you, where I get to do whatever I want? Wait a second. Actually, that doesn't sound to bad. THAT'S WHAT I'M BETTING AND YOU CAN'T CHANGE IT."

Rosalie giggled, and the sound was like wind chimes. Or those tiny silver bells that always seem to come out at Christmas time.

"Fine. I'll bet the same thing, but it's whatever I want, not you."

I contemplated, and nodded. "Deal. Let's shake on it."

I reached out a hand and walked closer, and Rosalie closed the gap, grasping my hand.

"Okay, winner wins tonight where he or she gets to do whatever they want and the other can't complain."

"Sounds good," I grinned, confident enough in my strength that I could get away from Rosalie.

Suddenly, Rosalie twisted my arm around and grabbed the other, putting me in a headlock that was like a vice. I was shocked. I hadn't seen that one coming.

"Come on, Em, get away," she cooed into my ear.

I rolled my eyes and went to go stomp on her foot. At least, that's what I was going to do, until I realized that this wasn't Edward or Jasper. It was my angel, and I didn't want to hurt her.

I than decided to elbow her in the gut, but, that would hurt her too.

"Dammit, Rosie! You don't play fair!" I said, my voice sounding like a whine.

"I knew you wouldn't want to hurt me. Not that it would hurt much, but still. I knew you wouldn't want to try, anyways."

"You don't know anything!" I snarled, annoyed that she would assume I would never hurt her, if I had to. I tried struggling to break free of her grip, but it was so, so strong.

Rosalie giggled behind me as I struggled with her. I clenched my teeth together with a snap and growled. Her giggle simply increased in volume.

Suddenly, I got the idea from a move Jasper had taught me when we were wrestling, one day. I grinned, knowing that this would not hurt Rosalie, but I could break free.

I started twisting from side to side, pretending like I was trying to get out. This would loosen her grip on me.

As I had predicted (I'm a regular Alice), Rosalie's grip loosened just enough for me to slip one arm out. Before Rosalie realized what I was doing, I had her flipped over my bank and yanked my other arm away from her.

"I win!" I announced, flailing my free limbs. Rosalie pouted.

"Dammit. I wanted to win. You'll probably make me do some things that I hate doing, just to annoy me." Rosalie grumbled, crossing her arms and glaring with her beautiful topaz eyes.

I grinned hugely. "Would you have it any other way, baby?"

A giggle escaped, and her eyes softened a little.

I laughed, pouncing onto her and sending us flying to the bed.

"So, it's about 6 O'clock. I would say it's night time, wouldn't you?" I kissed her collar bone and my fingers trailed over her buttons on her blouse.

Rosalie jumped up immediately, pointing at me.

"HA! No, I wouldn't. I consider night time to be after midnight. So, you're out of luck, because we didn't agree on a time!"

I frowned at her. "Not fair! Eighty years and I still can't outsmart you!"

"I'm unbeatable, Emmett. I'm telling you, I am."

"Well, what do we do until midnight, then? It's only, like, six!"

Rosalie pursed her lips and looked me up-and-down, scoffing and turning around.

I knew she was thinking, so I didn't bother her. After about a minute, she flipped around.

"I know! We can play strip poker!"

"Sure, way to tease me until midnight. Six hours. Six freakin' hours..." I grumbled.

"No, not just you and me! That would be boring. All six of us."

I didn't have to ask to know who the 'all six' she was referring to, was. I rolled my eyes. "I really don't want to see my brothers or sisters naked, Rosie."

"Well, you don't have to look. C'mon, baby, please? I want to play strip poker! The last time we played was just so long ago..."

Sighing, I stood up and walked over to her. "Fine. Whatever you want, babe. ...You just have to get everyone else to play! Ha!"

"Oh, don't worry. They'll play. They'll ALL play, if I have something to say about it."

"Yeah, okay, Rosie. Well, get them all and invite them to our room. I'll go and get us a pack of cards..." I stopped, remembering how violent we tended to be with our cards, "or two, from the gift shop."

"Okay. See you in about fifteen minutes!" Rosalie said, pecking me on the cheek and hurrying to the stairs. I went to the elevator, sighing. Another long ride, with nothing to do. I pressed the button and waited.

The elevator opened to reveal a sleazy looking blond and a gray-haired guy standing and staring, tight-lipped, at the door.

Well, maybe I could have some fun.

(A/N: This next part was inspired by burnin4christ's profile. It's really a hilarious list.)

I reached a hand out before the doors could close completely.

I glanced at the elevator buttons. The twenty-sixth floor was lit up, along with the eleventh.

"Sorry, I'm waiting for a friend," I said to the man. Creeper nodded, looking upset, which only made this that much more enjoyable. The woman eyed me up-and-down, but I wasn't into hookers.

After about thirty seconds, I heard the man tapping his foot, impatient.

Another thirty seconds, which involved me standing and whistling a jolly tune, he looked at me sharply. "Where is this friend of yours?!"

"What do you mean? He's coming right now!" I gestured down the hall. The man looked, searching the hall with his eyes, twice. The blond woman looked, too.

"I don't see anyone!" He snapped.

"Oh, here he is," I said joyfully. "Hello, Greg. How has your day been?" I asked the obviously empty space next to me.

The blond looked at me, baffled. Creeper looked pissed.

"We waited for your imaginary friend? What the hell are you, five?!"

"No, actually, I'm twenty-three. And he is not imaginary! Say hi to the man, Greg."

We all waited a second, staring at the space. After 'Greg' said 'hello', I clapped 'Greg' on the shoulder. The man scoffed.

"I think this is our floor," the gray-haired old creeper said, rudely, yanking the hooker to follow him. I grinned. Two down, more to go.

I hummed patiently until we reached the twenty-sixth floor. As the door started opening, I turned to stand in the corner and face the wall.

The humans footsteps, two women, by their scents, halted, before coming in.

"What do you think he's doing?" One of the women whispered, in a voice so low I wouldn't have heard if I was human.

"I don't know. It's a bit creepy, don't you think?" Her friend replied.

"Just a little. Should we... Ask him if he's okay?"

"I'm sure he in, Colette. Just ignore him."

After about forty seconds, Colette started again.

"Ann, why is he just standing at the wall? Is he even real? He hasn't moved since we came in..."

"Is he even real? Maybe it's a dummy. It's exactly the kind of thing Marty would find funny, having a dummy set in the elevator. Go touch it and see if it's alive."

"I don't want to, Ann. You touch it."

"Oh, fine!" Ann complained. I heard her footsteps and the rustling of clothing, before feeling a light prod in my back.

"I think it's fake. My goodness, it's hard. Like touching a statue."

The woman, Ann, began running her hand up and down my arm.

"It's so cold, too. It must be a statue of some sort. I wonder why it's here?"

I decided now would to the time to act.

I turned around quickly, making both of the women gasp, and grinned at them with wide, crazy eyes.

"I may act stupid sometimes, but I'm no dummy!"

One woman, probably Colette, screamed.

The other, Ann, gasped, holding her heart and staring at me, confused. I simply smiled at her, like this was all so funny.

"You scared the bejeebes out of me! I thought for sure you were a statue."

"I'm insulted! I am not a statue!"

"Obviously!" Colette quipped, still gasping.

I began laughing with them and suddenly got serious, turning around and facing the wall again.

The doors for the eleventh floor opened, and Colette and Ann got off quickly. As they got off, a group of young guys came stumbling in.

I turned to face them all, and caught the scent of rum and captain morgan. I grinned. They were all drunk... this should be fun.

I shoved my way to the front, and dropped a pen that was in my pocket.

It took a minute, but one of the guys looked down and grinned happily.

"A PEN! I WIN, I WIN, I WIN!"

"THAT'S MINE!" I screamed, pointing dramatically to the pen.

The drunk guy turned to me, laughing.

"No, this is mine! Finder's keepers! Loser's, weepers!"

"MINE!" I said, lunging for the pen. I lunged straight into some guy, looking like I was hugging him.

"GROUP HUG!" I screamed, and pulled every guy in the elevator closer to me. They all tried to get away, screaming profanities. I laughed loudly.

"No. Group hug! Now!"

And they had to comply, for I wouldn't let them get away.

After a few moments, (I felt like I was gay, and that just wasn't cool), I pulled away and went to press the button for the lobby.

I pressed the button and gasped.

I pressed it again, grinning widely.

Once again, I pressed the button, pretending as if it gave me an electrical shock.

The guys turned to me, wondering what the hell I was doing, I'm sure.

Suddenly, the eighth floor button flashed, and we stopped to get more passengers.

A thirty-something couple boarded, keeping to themselves. I grinned.

The doors began closing, and I stood in front of them, turning to face everyone in the elevator.

"Attention, elevator passengers. My name is Emmett, and I will be your elevator ride attendant. First, we will go over emergency procedures. If this elevator is to stop moving, you are to not panic. Someone will get it fixed eventually. If the lights go out, simply grab a girl and play 'who's in my mouth?'. If you feel at all queasy... Hold it. The exit is here," I pointed to the obvious door, "but you must have a password to get off. Is this clear?"

The drunken guys stared at me stupidly, and the couple near the back, confused.

"Who the hell are you?" One guy asked. I laughed.

"As I said. I'm Emmett."

"What's the password? I NEED TO KNOW IT TO GET OFF!" Another screamed.

"The password is something about me. You have guess it."

"What the hell? You'd better let us off when we get to the lobby, guy, or I'll call security." The only sober guy said, with his arm wrapped around his wife.

I guffawed. "Yeah, right. I'm sure. I will not let you off without the password, do you understand?"

"No, I don't, quite frankly." The woman replied, her lips tight. "I will get off when I reach the lobby."

I stared at the woman for an immeasurable amount of time. She stared back, unable to look away from my gaze.

"FINE!" I yelled, suddenly. Everyone flinched. "NO PASSWORD. FINE! AWESOME. YOU ARE SO COOL, LADY. YOU JUST RUINED MY LIFE. THANKS A LOT. I APPRICIATE IT."

I turned around to face the doors, pretending like I was crying.

The woman came behind me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, dear. It's just that we have reservations, sweetie. I need to get to them, so I can't play this silly game."

"It's not a game!" I cried, looking hurt. The woman frowned.

"Hey, buddy, just calm down, alright? We're almost to the lobby."

I perked right up, facing the door and bouncing up and down.

"Yay yay yay yay! Lobby lobby lobby lobby lobby!" I screamed, laughing at the humans who stared at me like I was insane.

When the doors opened to reveal the ground level, I called for another group hug before leaving for the gift shop.

Bella POV;

"La-la lala, la-la lala, Elmo's world..."

"Bella, what are you singing?!" Edward asked me. He turned around with a raised eyebrow, his shirts piled in his hand. I laughed, patting him on the head like he was a silly child.

"Edward, Edward. It's was a song on a commercial for a silly doll, that I watched today when you were checking out."

"Oh." Edward said, returning to his unpacking, as if it was completely normal.

Halfway through our bags, I heard a knock and floated to answer it.

"Oh, hi, Rosalie!" I greeted as I opened the door. Rosalie smiled at me beautifully, which automatically aroused my suspicion.

"Hi, Bella! Hi, Edward!" Rosalie invited herself in, even calling out a greeting to Edward, who was back in the bedroom.

"What's up, Rose?" I asked, sitting on the couch. Rosalie grinned at me.

"We're all playing strip poker," Rosalie said quickly, "It's not up for debate. You and Edward are coming. Alice already saw it, so don't even think about refusing. Plus, Jazz and Alice are already going to play, so you'd be left out if you didn't and you would be real-"

"Rose!" I said, stopping her rant. I laughed at her, and put a hand on her shoulder. "It's fine. It actually sounds kind of... fun. I'll play for sure. And if I'll play, you know Edward will. I'm dressing in lots of layers, though. I don't want anyone to see me naked but Edward!"

"Well, you know Alice has, in her visions. And I have when I helped you get ready or use the bathroom when you were pregnant with Nessie."

"I know. I don't care about you guys, really. Just Emmett and Jasper. So, that's my only condition. I'll play as long as I can dress in four layers."

"Two," Rosalie compromised.

"Three?"

"Two and a half?"

"Two and a half," I agreed. I figured I would wear three shirts on top of my bra, and two pairs of pants and socks over my panties.

"Glad that you're coming. Tell Edward, get dressed, and come to my room in five minutes. It's the floor below this, suite 3337."

With that, Rosalie walked out and towards the stairs. I noticed she was wearing her six hundred dollar burgendy pumps, and sighed.

Edward and I met halfway through the suite. I smiled at him.

"Apparently, we're all playing strip poker. You're coming, too, because I don't want to play alone. Rose said I can dress with two-and-a-half layers, though, so I'll have an advantage of sorts."

Edward chuckled. "I know. I'll tell Rosalie. You don't have our siblings blocked right now. I'll just wait for you to get dressed, then, and we'll go down there."

"Okay!" I agreed, skipping off. I realized Edward had finished our unpacking during my conversation with Rosalie. I scanned over my current outfit. A pair of cute, comfy sweat-pants, and a tanktop. I threw on a second tanktop, and a short-sleeved shirt. Then I pulled on another pair of socks, and dark denim jeans over my sweatpants. Lastly, I put on my shoes, brushed through my hair, and threw it into a ponytail.

"I'm ready!" I announced, walking towards the door. Once again, Edward met me halfway.

"You look lovely, though the added clothing is unnecessary. You're better at poker than Emmett, Jasper, and even me."

I chuckled. "That's only because they aren't very serious, and I can block your ability!"

Edward grinned, kissing me quickly before leading me towards Rosalie's room.

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So, next chapter, which will probably be up in 1-3 days, the Cullen's will actually play strip poker. And maybe make the plans to see Cirque du Soleil. Since I don't really know what happens at one of these events, I'm thinking I'll just make it up and you guys who HAVE seen it can pretend like I know what I'm talking about. xD.