Author's Note: Meh.

Never Underestimate Naruto

Chapter 13

Sasuke blinked, and he flexed a hand that was not supposed to be there anymore. He looked around, saw nothing but white, and bit back a groan. "Not here again," he muttered.

"Hey, Sasuke!" Sasuke only managed to turn halfway before Naruto's fist slammed into his face. Glaring, he spit out a mouthful of blood as Naruto's face became increasingly cheerful. "You deserved that and you know it," said the idiot with a blinding grin.

Sasuke was tempted to punch him back, but for some reason he just didn't feel like it. All his aggression and hate, his driving emotions for years on end were gone. Evaporated. He sighed instead, rubbing ruefully at his injured cheek. "I suppose I did."

Naruto's grin became annoyingly smug at that, and Sasuke's eye began to twitch. "Could you stop looking at me like that?"

"Nope! I finally got you back to the village. This is my right. My spoils of victory and all that." Naruto nodded importantly to himself.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Spoils of victory? If I remember correctly, both of our arms were blown off."

Naruto scoffed. "Don't you remember, Sasuke? You admitted that I was the winner."

Sasuke's teeth were grinding. "And?" he bit out. He paused, then blinked. "Wait a minute. Why are we still arguing? Our main conflict is basically over, isn't it?"

Naruto shrugged. "That's what I thought too, but apparently the audience just likes our bickering way too much for Kishimoto to let us stop."

"Damn. I was looking forward to some peace and quiet after the war."

"Peace and quiet?" Naruto asked incredulously. "You were going to terrify the world into submission, remember?"

"They totally deserved it."

Naruto sighed. "And this is why I'm your only friend."

"I'll never understand how people are able to stand you."

Hey! I'm awesome! And I don't glare at everyone I see!"

"No, you just smother them with that infuriating grin of yours."

"You jerk! My grins are warm and full of sunshine! When you smile it's cause for celebration!"

"Of course."

"It's true! I'm like the sun, all warm and happy and stuff, and you're the gloomy moon that's all sad and shit."

Sasuke twitched. "You're like the sun because people can't stand looking directly at you for too long for fear of going blind."

"I'm just too awesome for them!"

"Isn't this a little too proud of you for you to actually be in-character?"

"Actually, nope. I'm always trying to one-up you, so this is perfectly normal for me."

"Fair point," Sasuke grunted.

"... So, what now?"

"I don't know. Maybe we should argue to entertain the audience or something?"

"You know, this is way too meta for my liking."

"Meta?"

"Yeah! Like, we're not even supposed to know that there IS an audience!"

Sasuke hn'd.

"Man, what are they thinking out there? They must be running out of ideas or something."

"'They'?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes, they. The losers who write this shit in the first place."

"Ah, yes. The same ones who try to give you multiple bloodlines, some of which are entirely made-up, and then proceed to give you every woman in the Elemental Nations on a silver platter."

"Yeah! What do they think I am?! Some kind of man-whore?!"

"I'm more concerned with how they wish to make an absolute monstrosity out of me, even in my earlier days."

"Well, you were going to-"

"Shut up about that," Sasuke warned, eyes ablaze.

"Hey, I'm just sayin', it's not like they don't have their reasons." Naruto nodded, eyes scrunched up in thought.

"They don't even live in this world! Most of them are bored teenagers!"

"Yeah! And from that other world, they got to see everything you did. It's a wonder that any of them like you at all."

Sasuke deadpanned. "And what about the idiot writing this conversation right now? At least he doesn't hate me."

Naruto shook his head. "Oh, I'm sure he at least enjoys making your life miserable." He paused, as if struck by a convenient epiphany. "Wait a minute, that means that he probably enjoys making my life miserable, too! That jerk! Can't he be like all the other writers and give me everything I don't deserve because of my difficult childhood?!"

"As long as he's equally shitty to both of us, I don't really care."

"But I'm the titular character!"

"You and I both know that Kishimoto probably liked me way more than he liked you."