How I love Hidan. Actually, I like religious people period. Either they're nice, so hypocritical it's funny, or off their ass insane. Sure there are the annoying ones, but if I really believed that God was going to strike down infidels, I'd be annoying in my attempts to save people too. In any event, this is pretty fun (even though I forgot about it until the day I had to update).

Sorry Izzy, I know you're supposed to edit this, but I forgot to do it in advanced! Love you anyways?

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It's so strange how a simple turn in conversation can turn a pleasant moment into a nightmare. One unnessesary word uttered had the power to ruin and entire day for some unlucky person.

Hidan was that unlucky person. It wasn't even Shikamaru who was ruining him at the moment though, even as the situation was crubling between them. It was Ibiki.

"I'm sure you'll fuck up soon and it'll be over anyways."

He was a master of psychological torture, that was for sure. Ibiki's smug expression, his ugly mug, his arrogant demeanor, it all set Hidan's blood to boil. Even more than what he said, was how true it was proving to be.

It just couldn't end so stupidly though. There was no way that it would. Jashin wouldn't let it. Hidan wouldn't let it.

Then again, there was no way that a proud person such as Hidan would go to his boyfriend who was pouting in the other room and pour out his heart. Some people would jump to do that just because, but even while no one was around, Hidan couldn't bring himself to do something so, well, sappy.

And because of the stubborn pride that came so naturally to the zealot, Shikamaru couldn't be dealt with. Even if he even without his stubborn nature, forgiveness would be a difficult quest. With it, Shikamaru's absolve would be an impossibility.

So, rather than talking to his boyfriend, Hidan chose to pace. Never was he one to sit down to think, instead he felt the need to always be moving, and hopefully and idea would come to him. Of course, the only thing that came to mind was stupid apologies, which were thrown out the mintue they surfaced.

"Dammit! Why does he have to be so fucking difficult!"

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Great, he's fuming. Shikamaru heard Hidan's motion and grunts from his room. As far as he could tell, Hidan was beating himself up pretty badily. Whether it was for being stupid enough to get caught, or rather actually being sorry for what he said was the mystery.

If he was actually sorry for what he said, then Shikamaru would give him a little trouble for everything, but forgive him none the less. If instead he was just mad for getting caught, well then, hope and pray Ibiki wouldn't be too mad if some terrible accident happened and Hidan was thirty feet underground and in chopped up bits.

Or was that maybe a little too harsh? At this point, vulgarities and insensitivities are as expected from Hidan as him not wearing a shirt. They weren't explained at all, but they were expected.

Even while he was mad at (and comtemplating butchering) Hidan, a large part of Shikamaru nagged at him to forgive the oaf. Sure he was insensitive sometimes, and yes he said something very bad, but there was no way that he actually meant any of it. He cared. He just had to.

"Dammit," Shikamaru muttered under his breath. What was he thinking? Was he desperate? Maybe just so fasinated with hearing that someone "loved" him, that he lost all common sense? Either way, it was strange that any part of him wanted to even think about forgiving him.

He couldn't sit in his room all day and think about how much he'd like to forgive a complete asshole, though. It was unheathly and frankly, unapealing. Instead he went to visit Hidan's room, not to give an apology, but rather to receive one.

Although Shikamaru had half a mind to barge in and yell and vent until he was satisfied, and maybe then some, he knew that would solve nothing. Instead, he came in rather quietly, and didn't demand attention rudely. Of course, that meant waiting for Hidan to notice him and stop his pacing, that was going to wear out the floor soon, so he would notice.

"Shikamaru?" Honestly, when Hidan said he'd be expecting apologies in his room, he truthfully never thought one would come.

"I don't like fighting."

"Neither do I," Hidan said and walked over to embrace his boyfriend. Instead he was pushed away.

"But we do need to talk."

"Didn't we already?"

Shikamaru hardly called a dazed argument that happened when he was still tired from his nap a "talk", and didn't mind pointing that out. He also didn't care for Hidan acting like he wasn't the bad guy here.

"I don't think we could call that talk," Shikamaru replied lowly and went to sit on Hidan's bed. Even though the room still scared him after the little incident, that wasn't going to postpone what he needed to happen for a single second.

Hidan agreed, somewhat, and went over to the bed, standing infront of Shikamaru. He didn't want to sit down only to be pushed away again.

"Listen, I want a chance to tell you what'd happening, alright?"

Shikamaru nodded, that was exactly what he came to hear in the first place.

"But first, before I even go into that, I want you to know that I love you. I wish I didn't say that stupid shit, I wish I wasn't such a fuck-up. Okay?"

It was surprising to hear Hidan say these things so sincerely, but it was none the less welcome. Shikamaru surpressed a smiled, so Hidan didn't get the impression he'd be getting off easily.

"I'm going to tell you everything, though. Why I joined the Akatsuki, why I'm here. Everything."

Shikamaru was a little skeptical, pretty certain that all the cards would be laid on the table so easily. No harm in at least giving it a go, though.

"Alright, Jashin wanted me to fucking destroy the Akatsuki because they were trying to create a world order. He can't just come down any time he wants to kick heathen's asses so that was my job. I joined the Akatsuki and was partnered with this old geezer from the fucking dinosaur era for Jashin knows how long. I was trying the whole time to find the weaknesses of the organization and only thing I could figure was eliminate them with over-powering numbers.

"Sounds pretty easy, like I didn't really try to think of anything better, but I'm not the one you want to count on for a job as serious as that. I couldn't kill all of them myself, even with Jashin backin' me up. When I figured out that the only way was to work out a major over kill tactic, I told Jashin while praying of course.

"I'm guessing the old bastard heard me praying because sure as shit, pretty soon I was tied and gagged, sent to this hell hole with no chance of getting anything done. Least that's what I though when I woke up to Ibiki's creepy cackling, of course I wasn't putting pieces together very fast 'cause of all the drugs I had pumped in me anyways.

"After awhile, I figured out I could make Ibiki an offer that helped out both of us, especially me. I gave him information about the Akatsuki as long as he promised a complete destruction of the fucking heathens. I also asked for a decent place to stay. Then I asked for you, even though I was pushing my luck with just a cruddy apartment until my death sentence came around. To my surprise, he was eager to grant all three of my conditions as long as what I told him was true.

"'Course I'm not the greatest story teller in the world, but I have to go to something else now, since next thing I remember is you walking into the cave. Guess you have a real reason to be pissed at that, but you don't act like you're mad about that. I can't really give an excuse for what happened there. Anyways, from there Jashin's been giving me good vibes, sayin' that what I did was right and I did a good job.

"He's been like my wingman this whole time, helping me out when shit gets rough, but I'm really a fuck-up, as you can see. I wanted Ibiki to still give me whatever else I wanted, so I lied to him about how important you are to me. I couldn't give him a trump card."

That was a lot to take in at once. Shikamaru was a little bit over-whelmed at all of it. He never expected Hidan to be one to feel obligated to explain himself. There were quite a few things with Hidan's story that was bothering Shikamaru, though, and more-so than the zealot's horrible grammar.

He took a deep breath. If everything wasn't so inimately personal and important, Shikamaru might've laughed at Hidan's expressions throughout the story and been more lighthearted at the end. "Hidan, I'm really glad you told me all of that. Not all of it is something that makes me really happy, but just you telling me is really great. I want one more thing, though."

"Anything for you."

"Tell me about Jashin."

Hidan froze. He couldn't do that. Shikamaru didn't want to learn about God to convert, he just wanted to know for the Hell of it.

"Shika, that's like me asking you for the secret soft spots in Konoha's defense."

"You said anything. I asked for something."

"Something I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to!" Hidan protested.

"So you don't want me to know?"

"If you wanted to learn about God for the sake of being saved, then yes. That's not what you're after. Until then, I can't tell you."

"You said before that you'd tell me about Jashin, though."

"I said I'd tell you about rituals. Stuff that would involve you like what happened in here. I'm not allowed to just tell you everything on a whim, though."

Shikamaru glared. He was an athiest. He didn't understand the big deal. He never did with religious freaks, but this was even worse. This time it actually mattered. "I want to know what's going on, Hidan."

"I can't tell you! Didn't I already tell you enough?" Hidan asked desperately. "You know that my religion is important. What kind of an asshole are you to ask me something like that after I just spelled out my fucking life story to you!"

Didn't I already tell you enough?

That hit Shikamaru pretty hard. He just got a touching story from a zealot who wasn't even beining to be in tune with his feelings. Then he asked for more.

"Dammit."

"Listen, I can't take you bitching at me anymore, so just stop right there, alright?"

"Hidan, listen." Shikamaru started lowly, "I'm sorry. I'm still pretty mad at what happened, but I think I understand why you said that at least. I just want to stop arguing for a little bit."

"That'd be nice."

"Let's just go lie down."

Hidan smiled wearily, never expecting to go through such an ordeal for something that just slipped out of his stupid mouth, "Yeah, that sounds good Shika."

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Aw, they made up. Kind of. Aren't they just adorable?