A Dash of Summer
Kate curls her fingers at his neck and checks the exit as they get off the interstate; she has to push her sunglasses up on her head to look.
"I think the McDonalds will work," she murmurs.
She turns to the kids, palm flattening out against Castle's shoulder for leverage as she glances to the back seat.
"Baby girl, McDonalds okay?"
She watches as Ellery debates this, taking her own sweet time, and she gives Castle a quick look, sharing her indulgence. Dashiell is still peppering his father with questions about how farmers can make haystacks in such perfect round 'elephant biscuits' but Ella is quiet.
"Ellery, McDonalds?" she nudges.
A little sigh, like a world-weary adult. "Okay, Mommy."
She lets out a relieved breath and nods to Castle; he's already pulling into the McDonalds parking lot. "Dashiell," she calls back, interrupting his monologue. "Dash, baby, that's interesting, I know. But first. Do you think you can go at McDonalds like Ella?"
"No," he sighs. "It's no good, Mom."
"Okay," she murmurs. "But promise you can hold it."
"I can hold it."
And she knows he can, but that's not the point. She wishes he didn't get quite so anxious over everything, but at least it's manageable. "Hey," she says quietly to Castle. "I'll take her in if you'll get us some food?"
"Really?" he yelps, then clears his throat. "You don't mind?"
"Yeah, we're on vacation. Fries, hamburger, shakes - go all out, Castle."
"Me too?"
She smirks at him, stroking her fingers against his neck again. "You too, Rick. You've been really good."
"I have. I really have been so good."
Kate can't help the curl of her smile and she opens her mouth to say something but from the backseat she hears Ellery pushing Dash.
"You can. You can do it, Dashy."
She glances back and sees Ellery peering over at Dashiell, her fingers patting the top of his head.
"You not want to wait. You hold it and it might blow up."
Kate chokes on her laughter and slaps a hand over her mouth, sees that Castle heard that too. Only his amusement is tempered with something like oops.
"Did you tell her that?"
"I may have... she was a stubborn thing to potty train. You remember."
"Dashiell," she calls back, twisting in her seat. "You will not explode."
"Can my bladder blow up?" he asks in a panicky voice. "It can't blow up. Can it blow up? Mom."
"No," she insists firmly. "Ellery, that's not true."
"Daddy say."
"Daddy was telling a Castle story," she explains. "True in a way, but mostly fiction. You know those stories."
"A Castle story?" Ellery sighs, looking suspiciously at the back of her father's head. "No blow up?"
"No."
"But Dashy needs to pee," Ella mutters. "Dashy. You can do it."
Kate lifts her eyebrow at Ellery. "That's very encouraging, sweetheart. You're being a really good sister. But remember? We don't push Dashiell to do something if he doesn't feel comfortable."
"I'm not comfortable peeing in McDonalds," Dash says determinedly. "Only at home. And the poolhouse is okay too."
"You can do it," Ellery says anyway. "You so brave, Dash."
Kate sighs, shares a look with Castle. They've been careful about how much they push Dashiell when it comes to his sensory issues, but some things can't be explained to a three year old sister who thinks if she can do it, so should her brother.
"Baby-"
"Dash, it not hard. I pee in McDonalds-"
"Can we not say pee?" Castle huffs. "You're the children of a well-known, best-selling novelist. Come on. Use better words."
"What words?" Ella asks, turning to frown at them both. Castle has parked in the lot in front of McDonalds, and Kate has to go to the bathroom herself, and they need to hurry this along.
"Daddy means you should use restroom or bathroom or-"
"Piss," Dash says easily.
Kate's mouth drops open and Castle grunts. Ignoring it. She's ignoring it. No. No, she can't really, because Ella heard that one and then she definitely saw the way her parents reacted. Darn.
"Actually, I'd prefer it if you didn't use piss," Castle tells Dashiell solemnly, already jumping in. "That word is too strong for casual conversation, Dashiell."
"Too strong?" he murmurs, an eyebrow lifting - both eyebrows now, like one is attached by string to the other so his face looks shocked instead of merely interested. "What does that mean? A strong word."
"Okay, linguistic discussion can proceed inside McDonalds. Let's go." Kate tries to hustle them, reaching back to snag Rex's collar. "Sorry, buddy, stay in here. The windows are down and we'll be quick."
She glances up to check that Castle has heard her and he's already thumbing them down and then pulling the keys from the ignition. She searches for a water bottle and the plastic container she stashed in the car somewhere for Rex; when she leans back over the seat to leave the dish in front of the dog, she overhears Ella's stage-whispered certainties in Dash's ear.
"Dash, you can potty. They flush - poof! like that - you not even touch it."
"Potty," Castle sighs, evidently having heard it as well. "Dash that one is better than piss for casual conversation."
"Oh," he says, his Pooh look on his face, as Ellery likes to call it. Thinking hard. "I can potty inside."
Kate's head whips back around to him, her hand arrested on the door where she was just beginning to climb out. "Dash?"
He's struggling to unhook his seat belt but he lifts his head and gives her a very serious look. "But not with you."
"I - uh - ok?"
"I can go in the men's room all by myself," Dashiell pronounces.
Kate throws Castle a panicky look but he's already inserting himself into the process. "Actually, my man, I'm going to the bathroom as well, so we can be urinal buddies."
"Castle," she hisses. That is probably not behavior she wants her son picking up.
"Naw, it's cool," he dismisses her, already climbing out of the Audi and moving around to the back door for Dashiell. "Right, Dash? Father and son can be buddies anywhere. But what's the rule with other people?"
"Eyes straight ahead, no talking," Dashiell repeats quickly, hopping out onto the pavement with a flourish. "Mom, you're not supposed to look at people's pen-"
Castle claps a hand over his mouth and gives Kate a thin smile, chuckling. "Dash, my man, what did I say about strong words?"
Dashiell ducks out from behind his hand and dances beside the car, looking for all the world like he was the one who complained loudly from the back seat that he had to go now. "Not in casual conversation, right, but Dad - you haven't said what that means."
"I'll explain in the bathroom. Come on."
Kate finally stumbles out of the car, watching the two males walk hand in hand across the parking lot to the McDonalds' entrance. She can't help staring - what in the world just happened there? - but Ellery is opening her car door and knocking it into Kate's knees.
"Ow. Baby girl," she sighs. "Sorry. Come on. Get out."
"I have to piss," Ellery complains.
Kate lifts one eyebrow, deadly serious face, and Ella shrinks back into her seat.
"Sorry," she whispers.
"Never again," Kate informs her quietly. Dashiell won't use the word after a nice long explanation from Castle in which the merits of words and their value in society is discussed, but Ellery will sneak it out at the worst moments just to get a rise out of Kate. Like at Allie's wedding.
So Kate doesn't rise.
Ella slithers out of her seat, carefully avoiding her mother's glare, and pats Rex on the rump as she goes. Kate carefully shuts the door after her and glances inside at the traveling case for the lizard. Ellery is tugging on her hand, urging her to hurry, and Kate bites her lip.
It would be five minutes and it's...
No. She can't. Not Ella's baby.
"Wait, honey. I'm rethinking this. Daddy was going to stay in the car with our pets but-"
"Oh no," Ellery gasps, running back to the door. "My dragon. My dragon get too hot, Mommy?"
"I don't know. They live in the desert, right? It gets very hot there. But Linc is used to living in our house, so I'm not sure." Should she start the car and leave it running or take the dragon inside McDonalds?
Sigh.
She knows what she has to do.
"Hold on, Ella."
Castle grips Dashiell by the back of the neck and steers him towards the exit from the bathroom. "Well, kiddo, you're right. But society is polite to each other for the most part - forgetting for a moment the people who flip us the bird, like you said - and so we have to be polite back when we're out with people. It's called a social contract. We all agree to have certain standards of behavior."
"Social contract?" Dash mumbles. He's got his shoulders hunched though, nearly at his ears, as he's faced with the door to the bathroom.
"Like this, my man. You don't even have to touch it." Castle bumps his hip into the door and they exit together, Dashiell breathing out a long sigh of relief as he passes unmolested and germ-free into the McDonalds seating area. The automatic flush on the urinal nearly did the kid in - he really doesn't like that sound - but Castle had a running commentary on strong words, and he's managed to keep Dash distracted.
Kate and Ellery aren't out yet, so Castle sits them down at an empty table. The place is crowded and he puts Dash to the wall so he feels contained, protected from the noise by the wall and Castle's body.
And then he picks up his explanation once more. "See? Here we're in public. All these people could overhear us. So we don't use strong words. We use soft words, polite words, because some people are fine with hearing strong words and some people are not."
"Cursing is strong."
"Yes."
"Private parts. Like on bodies. So I can't say pe-"
"Yes, exactly," he interrupts, lifting a finger in warning.
Dashiell takes that calmly. "What else?"
"Really gruesome conversation. Like what you and Mom talk about in the mornings over coffee."
"Oh," Dashiell frowns and screws up his face, worming his butt back into the seat as if he can get into a smaller space. "So it's not polite to talk about blood stuff and bodies in the river and boogers?"
"Exactly."
"But I talk to Mom about that."
"But she's not society. She's mom. It's just the two of you in our house. That's not out there in the world. And that's what moms and dads are for - to explain to you all the things that polite society isn't supposed to talk about."
"Oh, you mean like sex."
"Yeah, that too. You need to know about sex, you and I will have a conversation in the car or in our house. Or you can talk to mom when you guys get up in the morning. It'll be private and just between us."
"What about driving? You said to keep it a secret. Even from Mom and Ella."
Castle squints down at his son and rubs his jaw. "Ah, well. That's more about... huh. Okay, I see what you're getting at."
He's talked them into a corner. That happens a lot with Dashiell, who is curious and likes conversation about anything and everything. Just for the words themselves. Earlier in the week, he and Dash camped out in Dashiell's bed when Castle got home late from Black Pawn and they talked for three hours about why people break their own rules.
Talking to his kid is sometimes like going to therapy - all these personal revelations about how his own mind works, how he gets along with other people, why things happen the way they do. How false a front they put on polite society - though that's a revelation he had long before, even before he shadowed the detectives at the 12th.
The nasty underbelly to humanity.
"Dad, so I can still drive, right?"
Castle jerks out of his own absorption and ruffles Dash's hair. "Yeah, kiddo. Course. I promised you, right?"
"You always keep your promises," Dash says with relish, leaning his cheek against his father's arm. Castle goes still and palms the side of his son's face for a moment, caught by the sudden weariness in his kid's slump, recognizing the way Dash has been battling the noise and the sights and the smells, battling for control.
"You're such an impressive kid, Dash," he says quickly, his voice thick. "I like talking with you and how we figure stuff out together. I'm proud of you, son."
Dash lifts his chin to look at his father, gives him a shrugging shoulder and a grunt. "Thanks. You explain good."
Castle lets out a breath of laughter and then sees Kate coming out of the women's bathroom with Ellery behind her. He waits for them to approach, smiling at Ellery as she hops over the seams in the tile, her dark hair bouncing at her shoulders, and then he sees it.
"Kate," he growls, standing to meet them.
"I was afraid he'd bake out there," Kate sighs, cupping her hand around Ellery's shoulder where the bearded dragon rides like a sneaky, evil demon.
"He's a lizard. They live in the desert," he whines, staring at the thing even as Kate tries to shield it. "He'd be fine."
"I don't know. He's used to our climate controlled loft."
Would it really be so bad if the lizard bit the dust?
Ellery has turned her head to coo at her dragon, baby-talking to him and stroking a finger down his back, her whole face alight and in love. Great, his daughter's first crush is on a lizard.
Yeah, okay, it wouldn't be a great start to their vacation if they accidentally killed his baby girl's pet.
"Okay. Fine. Whatever. Get her back in the car. Dash and I will order us some milk shakes and fries."
"Dad," Dashiell calls out tightly.
He glances down and sees his son pressed back into the seat, body plastered to the shielding wall, rigid and mouth pressed into a tight line.
"Okay, new plan. We're going through the drive through," he says quietly.
And then he reaches over and scoops up his son, who has done enough today to earn a thousand concessions, and he carries him out of the noisy hellhole of the McDonalds restaurant.
When Dash winds his arms around his father's neck and sighs, his body releasing, it makes Castle feel like a hero.