"Did you bake those?"

Draco glanced down at the plate of Hobnobs as he set them on the coffee table next to Potter's cup of tea. "I bought them at Tesco."

Potter laughed as he grabbed one and sat back on the sofa with his tea in one hand and a biscuit in the other. "It's so strange to hear you say Muggle phrases like that."

Draco sat in his favourite squashy armchair next to the fire, resting his tea on one knee. "Yes, I could see how that would be somewhat… disconcerting," he had to concede with a smirk.

"So, have you slipped up at all?" Potter asked after taking a sip of his milky tea.

"Not to my knowledge," Draco replied reflectively. "Fortunately everyone here is a little unconventional themselves so they don't bat an eye at anything peculiar."

Potter smiled as he dipped his Hobnob into his teaand Draco was once again struck by how bloody normal the man was acting.

Or perhaps that's the problem: Potter was merely acting.

Potter glanced up and his smile faded as he caught Draco's expression. He slowly set his tea down on the table with a sigh, looking resigned. "Are you about to psychoanalyse me now?" he asked.

"I don't know what that means," Draco promptly replied before taking a sip of his tea.

Potter exhaled as he flopped back against the sofa and wrapped his arms around himself. "You know, act like my therapist and try to determine what the fuck is wrong with me."

Draco arched a brow; Potter's tone had turned stiff and distant, like the Potter who sat out on the street scowling at the world. "We know what the issue is, and it's not something that's wrongwith you, it's called grieving."

Potter snorted and he had a horrible sort of self-loathing look in his eyes that Draco couldn't stand.

"Yes but I'm not handling it like a normal person. "

"I suspect that's because normally people don't lose their entire family all at once," Draco replied bluntly.

Potter swallowed and looked away, gazing instead into the flickering fire to Draco's left. "It's been seven months…"

Draco frowned. "Your point?"

Green eyes flicked back to his. "Isn't that long enough?"

"Long enough for what?"

Potter shrugged. "To be this… this unhappy for."

Draco knew that adjective was a massive understatement.

"I'm not going to pretend that I'm an expert on grief or grieving," Draco began slowly. "But I do know that you'll never succeed if you're trying to be the same person you were before it happened. You can move on and you can be a new version of yourself, and eventually that wretched pain isn't quite as relentless, but… it will never be the same as it was before. You will never be the same."

Potter chewed his bottom lip as he nodded, gaze sliding back to the crackling fire. "I know, it's just…I can't imagine being any fucking version of myself without them."

Draco swallowed as Harry's voice cracked with emotion.

It was impossible to think of him as anything other than Harry when the Gryffindor was being this vulnerable.

"It's like… It's like I can't be me without them," he continued, staring unblinking into the fire. "I was nothing before them, before Hogwarts and magic, and now… I don't know how to go back to that life. It's just…empty and meaningless, and…" He paused and ran a hand through his hair, exhaling hard. "I just feel really lost. I know this sadness that's just so fucking overwhelming most of the time willeventually lessen, but then what? I just can't see a future that is even half as appealing as it was going to be before they died."

Draco nodded, beginning to truly understand the absolute magnitude that this one event has had on Harry's life.

"Because now you have to start at the beginning again?"

"The beginning?" Harry questioned, glancing up.

Draco nodded, gathering his thoughts as he set his tea down on the table and sat back. "They were your friends, your surrogate family, and there's no way you could ever replicate that with complete strangers because… how could you? Not only were you eleven, when making a best friend was sobloody simple, but you also went through a war together. How could that bond ever be duplicated?"

Harry stared at him and Draco shifted, uncomfortable under the unexpected intensity.

"Yes, exactly," Harry replied, still staring.

Draco picked up his cup again for something to do. "You seem like you're in better spirits today," he commented before taking a sip.

Harry blinked out of his apparent stupor and idly plucked another biscuit from the plate.

"I am, I suppose." He glanced up with a tiny grin. "I must admit nothing holds my interest these days except for you Draco."

Draco felt his cheeks flush - both at the sentiment and at the use of his given name - and he quickly took another sip of his tea.

"I was so curious about your Muggle village and your house, and how you were living in general," Harry continued, oblivious. "It's fascinating, and quite a brilliant distraction really."

Draco quickly recovered his composure, unable to stop the smile that pulled at his lips. "But you grew up with Muggles, how is this fascinating for you?"

Harry chuckled. "Because it's you and Muggles. Draco Malfoy - Pureblood extraordinaire - living amongst the Muggles and shopping at Tesco and baking pies."

Draco laughed. "Well it sounds ludicrous when you say it like that."

Harry's eyes sparkled with mirth as he laughed along with him. "I'm impressed though," he said, smiling. "I never would have thought that you'd end up like this. Are you… are you happy here?"

"For the most part," Draco replied vaguely. "I'm certainly in no hurry to move again, I'm rather settled here. With my Muggles."

Harry grinned and finished off his tea. "And your potions business is here too, right?"

Draco nodded. "Yes, some potions are rather fussyand require regular attention so it's much more convenient to operate out of my home rather than a rented workshop somewhere in town."

"How do you manage to keep your hair from getting all greasy like Snape's though?"

"Because I wash it," Draco replied dryly.

Harry snickered. "Can I see it?"

"My hair?"

Harry snorted. "No, your potions lab."

Draco arched a brow. "Yes, if you'd like. It's certainly not very interesting," he warned.

"Everything you do is interesting, remember?" Harry reminded with a teasing grin.

Draco rolled his eyes but stood and set his cup down in order to lead Harry to his lab down the hall.

He opened the door and walked inside, quickly scanning the room to ensure that everything was in order. This was his sanctuary, his personal space, and it felt very odd to invite someone else into it.

He'd only ever invited one other man to thishouse, and they'd never stepped foot in the potions lab. That relationship had been kept strictly to the bedroom, which was why it eventually failed so spectacularly.

"It doesn't smell."

Draco returned to the present and narrowed his eyes as he turned to Harry. "Of course not," he scoffed, insulted.

Harry flashed that lop-sided smile that Draco was becoming rather too fond of.

"I just thought it would smell of chemicals or something," he explained. "It has a distinct smellbut it's quite nice, it smells like… er…"

Draco frowned, bewildered, as Harry turned away, cheeks pink.

"It's most likely a combination of bergamot, lavender, and cedar at the moment," Draco said when Harry didn't offer any further explanation for his odd behaviour.

Harry cleared his throat and wandered over to thework bench to look down into the bubbling cauldron. "What's this?"

Draco walked over to stand shoulder to shoulder with him as they both peered down into the viscousbrown mixture. "It's just an experiment. I believe this is trial number four."

"What sort of potion is it?"

"My own version of Polyjuice; exact same efficacybut I'm attempting to reduce the preparation timeexponentially."

"Really? Can you do that?" Harry glanced up and Draco suddenly realised how close together they were standing.

"Not yet," he replied, trying to sound as natural as possible with Harry's warm breath brushing across his cheek. "I'm hopeful though," he added quietly, not really sure what he was talking about anymore as he stared into vivid green eyes.

The sound of Harry's in-drawn breath meant that he wasn't entirely certain anymore either as he stared back at him.

The room suddenly felt very small and very silent, the air thick with an expectant tension.

Draco unconsciously licked his lips and watched as Harry's gaze darkened then flicked down to glance at Draco's mouth before darting back up again.

"Harry…" Draco breathed, unable to help chest was coiled so tight with sudden desire and want that he couldn't even think straight.

Harry blinked and abruptly took a step back, instantly breaking the mounting tension.

Harry turned away and ran a shaky hand through his hair as he exhaled roughly. "Fuck, I…" He glanced back and the other's man's expression caused Draco's stomach to plummet in disappointment. "I'm sorry, I can't."

"Of course." Draco shook himself and took a step back in the opposite direction. "I'm sorry, that was very insensitive of me."

Harry shook his head, expression apologetic. "No it wasn't, you were hardly throwing yourself at me Malfoy."

Draco tried to not be stung by the name.

"I just…" Harry sighed and wrapped his arms around himself as though suddenly cold. "I just don't think my heart can take it. That probably sounds ridiculous but I feel like I owe you some sort of explanation-"

Draco tried to interrupt him to tell him that an explanation really wasn't necessary, as he felt awkward enough about the whole situation, but Harry quickly held up a hand to stop him.

"It's not that I'm not attracted to you," Harryinsisted, looking slightly wretched, which helped to soothe Draco's humiliation somewhat. "But I feel a bit… bruised, like my heart is too sore to heap anymore emotion onto it. Not for a while anyway."

Draco swallowed and nodded in understanding. Of course Potter wasn't ready for a relationship, or even a casual fling, he'd only just recently begun to drag himself out of a deep depression and this certainly wasn't an appropriate time to add further complication.

"Of course," he assured, feeling utterly embarrassed about how obvious he'd made his feelings on the matter. "I'm trying to help you and that was entirely inappropriate."

Incredibly, Harry laughed. "You know you're not my actual therapist, right Draco? This wasn't against any sort of oath or moral code, and you can't be sacked."

Draco couldn't help but smile a little. "It does somehow feel very immoral though," he replied uncertainly.

"Not to me," Harry assured him firmly. He turned and walked over to sit in Draco's desk chair with a heavy sigh. "Look, I ended my last relationship because I couldn't deal with not being able to give him what he wanted anymore, and I don't just mean sex; I couldn't be the same person anymore. It's just as you said: you change and you can't go back. It was too stressful to pretend to not be as messed up as I was, and I didn't have the energy or the will to try." He paused and then quietly added, "I also ended it because I was scared."

"Scared?" Draco repeated incredulously, leaning against his work bench and watching Harry.

"Yeah, I was scared of love." He laughed humourlessly. "It sounds so cliché, but I just thought that if I distanced myself and didn't care for anyone that deeply again, that…"

"That you wouldn't be hurt again?"

Harry looked up and nodded. "It's stupid, because what's the point of living if you're avoiding all the best parts just to protect yourself against the bad? My plan was to just live in a bubble and not interact with the world, to not make that kind of connection with anyone again, but you've helped me realise that I don't actually want that anymore."

Harry stood and walked back over, and it took everything Draco had to not take a step back; Harry wasn't only one who wanted to shield himself from being hurt.

"I think," Harry continued slowly, gaze both apologetic and earnest all at once. "When I amready, I will want to try that almost-kiss again."

Draco swallowed, still feeling wary. He was fairly certain that his feelings for Potter outweighed whatever minor interest the Gryffindor held for him, but he'd be a fool to pass up the opportunityto be with him - even if it was only for a little while.

"You don't want to re-establish your relationship with that Quidditch player?" he asked carefully.

Harry shook his head. "No, I don't. He was fun and made me laugh, but…"

"But?" Draco repeated softly , tone guarded.

"But he wasn't interesting or fucking blunt or sarcastic or... or slyly thoughtful the way you are."

Draco cursed the fact that his stomach gave a joyful swoop at Harry's words.

"Don't forget gorgeous," he added flippantly.

Harry snorted, serious expression easing a little. "Well yeah, that's a given."

Draco smiled and really wanted to kiss that bloody fool again. He clenched his hands into fists and shifted backwards. "I suppose you're all right too Potter."

Harry laughed as he pushed his glasses up on his nose. "I know I'm too skinny right now, but if you keep feeding me your delicious steak and kidney pies, I'll fatten up quick enough."

Draco couldn't help but smile at Harry's charming self-consciousness, and despite the fact that Harry had just turned him down, he still felt a tiny flicker of hope for the future.

He suspected that a potential relationship with Harry would definitely be worth the wait.