Chapter 13:

"I can't believe you're forcing me to be here," Seth whispered angrily in my ear. I couldn't blame him for being angry. Hell, I was angry too. I was being forced to watch a Jennifer Aniston movie with some of the girliest girls I knew. Kaitlyn, Amber, Melissa, and even Leah were so engrossed with the movie that they didn't see the bored expressions on Seth and me. I think Nate might've been sleeping.

Don't ask me what the movie was about, because I honestly couldn't tell you. I think it had something to do with Jennifer Aniston searching for her one true love or some shit. But, isn't that what all of her movies about? Isn't that what her real life is about?

The credits skate across the screen and I hardly notice. I'm too busy thinking about any and everything. I was too busy worrying about upcoming school projects and drawings. I thought about the giant wolf, who I've personally named, Big Black Riding Hood (clever, I know) and the impending visit from my parents.

Seth yanks me from my seat next to him and pulls me out of the theatre. I guessed that he couldn't think of anything other than trying to escape the awful film that I'm pretty sure he actually reluctantly paid attention to. I followed him out of the dark, small theatre and into the lobby. The smell of too salty and barely buttered popcorn overwhelms my nose.

For this theatre to be so small, there are a ton of people here. Amber said something about it always being crowded before, but I had no idea that it would look like a New York City sidewalk. I guess I should've known that it would be this way. After all, this was the only theatre for about a hundred miles.

"That movie was so good! Honestly, I think this has to top all of her previous works," Amber said with excitement. Leah and Kaitlyn talked animatedly about their favorite scenes from the movie while Melissa hovered around Seth. I didn't know where I'd rather be; with the cackling romantic-comedy twins, or the young one-sided lover. I decided on my iPod.

While I was listening to some Japanese Rock, Amber made a suggestion for ice cream. Even over the screams of the Japanese language mixed with bad ass guitar riffs, I heard the delicious treat. I took my headphones out of my ears to hear more details about the best dairy product ever invented.

"There's an ice cream shop a few blocks down. We can just walk over there and get some," Amber said, rubbing her swollen belly. Nate looked disapproving. "Don't you think you're over-doing it with the whole ice cream thing? I mean, if you keep eating ice cream the way you do now, our baby is going to be born a Popsicle."

Amber laughed off Nate's commented and hit his chest playfully. "You worry too much, Nate. Besides, that's why I suggested we WALK over there. I'll burn some calories, gain them after eating a scoop of Butter Pecan, and lose them walking back to the car. No worries." Kaitlyn laughed at Amber's determination to get ice cream. Everyone who knew Amber knew that she wasn't to be easily deterred when it came to ice cream. Nate knew that he was fighting a losing battle.

We started walking towards the ice cream shop. It was a light drizzle, but no one really cared. If they did care, they didn't let on that they did. "How did you like the movie, Baby Doll?" Leah asked me. I was kind of surprised to hear her talk to me directly. I knew that she was still hurting, but ever since this morning, she's been gradually getting better.

I remember earlier, when Kaitlyn and I were video chatting with my mom in Kaitlyn's room, my mom accidentally called me Sam, instead of Samantha or Baby Doll. Leah started crying again, but she didn't cry as long or as hard as I expected her to. I hoped that she was getting over her heartbreak instead of suppressing her real feelings. I knew from personal experience, that that wasn't going to help her.

"Do you want me to be honest or do you want me to tell you what you want to hear?" I asked, smiling brightly at her. "I take it you're not a big fan of romantic-comedies," Leah commented. "You don't know the half of it. I think that my feelings towards romantic-comedies are borderline hatred."

Kaitlyn suddenly butted into our conversation, but it wasn't unwelcome. "You've got to be kidding me, Baby Doll! You didn't like the movie?" I shook my head and Kaitlyn sighed. "I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised. You never really liked good movies." I rolled my eyes at her exaggeration. Just because I didn't like predictable plots and cheesy endings, didn't mean that I didn't have good taste. In my opinion, it meant exactly the opposite.

"What's your favorite movie?" Seth asked, getting into our conversation, too. "I like Inglorious Bastards. I think that's got to be my all time favorite. Chicago being a close second," I said, smiling at the memory of Richard Gere being in a pair of boxers and playing a lying lawyer.

"See? Terrible movies. Filled with only death and sex," Kaitlyn commented. "There's not that much sex in those movies," I retaliated. Kaitlyn rolled her eyes in disbelief.

"My favorite movie is probably 'The Time Traveler's Wife'," Amber said with a sigh. I remember watching that movie in theatres and not wanting to puke. I admit that it was a decent movie. There was very good acting and the plot wasn't so bad.

"I liked 13 going on 30. I wish my life was as perfect as hers," Melissa added. I liked that movie, too. That was definitely a romantic-comedy. I wasn't a total square when it came to that movie genre. "That's such a Melissa movie," Kaitlyn commented, laughing.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Melissa was immediately offended. I didn't blame her. I'm sure that Kaitlyn meant it in a very offensive manner. I tried to stifle the grin that was creeping on my face. "I mean that you're always in such a big rush to grow up. Instead of enjoying being young, you want to act like an adult and bother yourself with adult-like problems."

I knew there was an argument about to start. Amber knew as well. The look on her face was a dead giveaway. Her eyebrows were knit together and a small frown was on her face. I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't care, so long as I wasn't a part of the argument this time.

"What do you mean? You had your first kiss at twelve and Baby Doll smoked her first cigarette and got her first piercing and snuck out after hours," Melissa defended. "If you ask me, I think I'm doing a lot better than you guys were at my age."

I didn't know who to glare at. I wanted to glare at Melissa for airing my dirty laundry in front of Seth and reminding me of the beginning of my downfall. I wanted to glare at Kaitlyn for starting with Melissa in the first place. Melissa was provoked and she retaliated. I didn't blame her for defending herself, but why the hell did I have to be pulled into it? Not being able to decide who I was angrier at, I glared at both of them.

I could feel Seth looking at me weirdly, so I looked at the ground. I told him before that I wasn't what one would consider the girl next door. I was probably the girl next door's bad ass friend who she had to bail out of jail various times.

It's not like I was going to keep all of that from him. I was going to tell him eventually. It just wasn't going to be so soon. I felt that the sudden revelation from Melissa may have sped things along. Dammit!

The rest of the walk was experienced in silence. When we finally got to the ice cream shop, it seemed as if life had been brought back to the group. Everyone was excited for the ice cream.

Kaitlyn and I had this routine for whenever we got ice cream. I would get coffee flavored ice cream while she got pineapple coconut. Then, she'd give me half of hers and I'd do the same. That way, we were never held prisoner to only one flavor for an entire cup.

As we were eating our ice cream, Seth scooted closer to me. Everyone was so engrossed in their random conversations, that they didn't notice the sudden movement. I couldn't look him in the eye.

I've felt embarrassed for my actions before, but never to this extent. Back in Albany, I wanted everyone to know about my actions. I wanted people to know that I wasn't afraid of getting in trouble. I wanted them to know that I welcomed trouble. That I was trouble.

"Why are you so quiet?" he asked me. I kept my eyes on my ice cream, so I don't know his facial expression. From his voice, I would assume that it was confusion. He had every right to be confused.

I shrugged. I didn't know what to say. I honestly don't know what I felt. I wanted to know what he felt. My feelings weren't that important.

"Are you pissed because Kaitlyn was making fun of your awesome movie choices?" he asked, nudging me in my side. I laughed a little then. I shook my head. "Then what's got you down?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

I sighed a deep sigh and finally turned to look at him. I guess Seth was satisfied with just that because the minute that I looked at him, he started smiling. "I guess I didn't want you to know about my past," I said in a whisper.

It was silent for a few seconds. I thought that Seth was soaking it all in until he started laughing. I glared at him. I just expressed my feelings to this clown and he started laughing. He had no idea of how I felt and he was just laughing away.

"Why wouldn't you want me to know about your past? Because it's not good?" he guessed. I nodded my head, still glaring because he was still laughing.

"Baby Doll, you already told me that you had a rebellious stage. I already knew. Granted, I didn't know that you did all of that by age twelve, but I don't care. That doesn't change anything," he said, all traces of laughing gone. He gave me a serious look and I smiled back at him.

I really wanted to kiss him, or hug him, or something, but I couldn't. I couldn't do anything with everyone around. We were trying to keep us under wraps, and if we did get exposed, I didn't want it to be my fault.

I don't think that Seth cared much about being exposed because he started leaning towards me. He looked like he was going to kiss me. We were with my family. I didn't want them to know about us and I thought he didn't either. I was about to stop him when Leah screamed.

Oh my gosh! I thought that she had seen us. She must've been so repulsed to see me with her little brother that she couldn't even keep in her wails of terror. I was thinking of ways to explain the situation until I actually looked at her.

She was on the phone and it looked like she had just seen a ghost. Seth was by her side within seconds, patting her on the back and asking her what was wrong. She just stared blankly off into space with the phone still pressed up against her face.

"Yeah. Okay. Alright. I'll talk to you later. Bye." Leah hung up the phone and looked at Seth. "Emily's just been attacked by a bear," Leah said, her voice quivering. We all gasped in shock. I couldn't believe that that happened to Emily. I just saw her yesterday. She was perfectly fine.

"Where is she now?" Kaitlyn asked, still as shocked as I was. Leah looked at her with tears streaming down her face. Dammit! I thought we were finally making progress. I thought Leah was on the road to recovery, and now she's crying again. "She's at Forks Hospital."

Amber stood up abruptly and grabbed her jacket. "We need to go," she told Nate, who stood up just as quickly as she did. I loved that most about both of them. They were probably the most caring people in all of Washington State. Younger people weren't usually concerned about others. I guess Nate and Amber were exceptions to that rule.

We left the ice cream shop and ran back to the movie theatre parking lot. It was raining a little harder now, but we were still at a full sprint. I was running carefully, knowing that if anyone fell, it would be me. As I was making sure not to fall, someone ran into me, making me fall flat on my face. I don't have to tell you that that shit hurt.

I didn't feel any cuts on my face and my arms and hands were okay. However, my right knee was a completely different story. I had scraped it and there was blood gushing. I hissed in pain and stood back up. I didn't have time to worry about a little gash on my leg. I needed to go to the hospital to make sure Emily was okay. I would feel like crap if she wasn't.

Although I tried, the injury on my leg slowed me down exponentially. I couldn't run as fast as I usually did. Seth noticed me straggling behind and came back to get me.

Without saying a word, he lifted me off of the ground and picked me up bridal style. I hate being picked up, but in this case I made an exception; partly because it was Seth carrying me, and partly because my leg hurt like a bitch. "Thanks," I mumbled, gripping on a little tighter to his t-shirt. The ever-present Seth smile was on and he kissed me on the forehead. "Don't mention it."

When we finally got in the car, Nate sped down the streets like a madman. I guess he's used to flying ridiculously fast during an emergency, but we weren't in a bright red fire truck. We were in a silver minivan. There were no sirens attached to the top of this vehicle. No one was going to stop when they saw us coming.

I sat in the back seat and started to mentally pray. I didn't want any of us to end up in a hospital while we were on our way to a hospital.

"Babe, slow down. I know we need to get there, but the roads are wet," Amber said softly. Finally, someone with big enough balls to confront Nate on his driving. He slowed down a little bit but still decided to swerve through traffic.

I wanted to look at everyone's face to see if they looked as scared as I felt, but being in the back, that was physically impossible.

The bad thing about Nate's driving is that it's extremely dangerous and we almost got into several car accidents. The good thing about Nate's driving is that we got there extremely fast, so I didn't have enough time to have a heart attack.

When we got to the hospital and parked in the hospital garage, we ran to the emergency. I hadn't been in a hospital since Scar, and I could feel an attack coming on. My breathing was becoming more and more difficult and my body was shivering like I was cold. I kept my eyes on the floor, not wanting to draw attention to myself. I'm sure that my actions were enough reason for the doctors to tie me down to a hospital bed and inject some unknown sedative into my veins.

Suddenly, I felt someone grab my hand. I looked up to see Kaitlyn giving me a reassuring smile. I gave her a small smile back and tried to regain control of my breathing. I needed to be strong for Leah and Seth. Their cousin was in the hospital for a freaking bear attack. They didn't need me and my wimpy fear of hospitals to add on to their stress.

We sat in the emergency while we waited for someone to tell us what to do. Amber and Leah were at the receptionist's talking in hushed tones. Apparently, the nurse behind the counter didn't want so many people in the emergency room. I guess I could understand that. I didn't want to go back there anyway.

Leah, Seth, and Kaitlyn, more for Leah's support than her own desire to go, were the chosen ones to go see Emily. Amber, Nate, Melissa, and I just sat there, waiting for something to happen. Amber sat down, fidgeting in her chair, Melissa was lying down on Amber's lap, and Nate was holding Amber's hand. They looked like something out of a hallmark card. I felt out of place, so I decided to go on a coffee run.

I walked to the main part of the hospital where there was a Dunkin Donuts. I laughed a little to myself. Dunkin Donuts doesn't seem like the healthiest place to have in a hospital. However, I wasn't complaining. I could imagine myself being hooked up to an IV and craving a jelly filled doughnut and coffee, too. Right now, this Dunkin Donuts was probably the only thing that was anchoring me to this place.

For most people, coffee makes them jittery and restless. I guess that I'm a special case. Coffee makes me ridiculously lethargic and calm. It's exactly what I needed at the moment. I decided to get Nate a coffee and Melissa and Amber some Dunkin Munchkins.

On the walk back to the emergency room, I saw Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I'm sure he didn't know who I was, but I had heard so much about him. He was the father of Edward, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett. Nate said that he was the most respected doctor at Forks Hospital. I'm sure that that is a very important title to him. However, the only thing that I focused on was his good looks.

He was tall, blonde, and looked way too young to father six teenagers. They had to be adopted. I mean, there was just no other explanation for it. Then again, the Cullens were all very good looking. They were runway model beautiful. I should know, with my mom employing several hundred every year.

His eyes were golden, just like the other Cullens as well. I've never seen anyone with golden eyes before I moved here. It was weird to see so many people with them.

When I got back to the Emergency room, Harry and Sue Clearwater were there. They looked exhausted as they were talking to my family about what had happened to Leah. I felt like I would be eavesdropping if I just popped in to listen to the story. I wanted to know, but not badly enough to listen to it right then. I was already on the verge of a panic attack.

I stood awkwardly and patiently for Sue to finish telling what happened. I looked everywhere but at the scene in front of me. Every so often, my eyes would drift back to them and I would see something that I didn't want to. Sue crying, my sister gasping in shock, or Melissa's face frozen with terror.

I hadn't even heard the story and I was freaking out. I always go out into the woods. It could've been me. I could've been eaten by a bear. I've considered myself a badass, always looking for trouble and ways to piss others off, and I would be eaten by Pooh. I've gone through ancient ruins, mosquito filled swamps, and too many jungles to count. I come to a small city in Washington State and I get eaten by a Teddy Bear. Yeah, that sounds like something that would happen to me.

"Baby Doll!" I heard someone call my name and I looked up to see Amber staring at me. After she saw my facial expression, she broke into a small smile. "I hope some of those doughnuts are mine." I smiled back and nodded. Sue and Harry were gone. I assumed that they went back to Emily.

I moved to the empty seat next to Melissa and handed everyone everything that I brought back for them. We ate our doughnuts and drank our coffee in silence. I didn't want to break the silence because it was something that I think we needed. Everyone's nerves were still kind of frazzled.

"How are you holding up?" Amber asked me, finally making a noise again. I shrugged. "I haven't made a scene yet. Let's hope it stays that way." Amber nodded in understanding. What she didn't know was that I was freaking out mentally. I kept waiting for Scar's doctor to come through the threshold and tell me that he was just joking. That Scar was just sleeping and that he'd wake up any minute now.

I took a huge sip of my scalding hot coffee and tried to relax. The minute that my muscles started to unwind and my thoughts ventured from Scar's death on to more happy things, Kaitlyn, Seth, and Leah came into the Emergency Room.

We all looked up at them expectantly. Kaitlyn's face was a mixture between sad and tired, Leah's face was a mixture between anger and sadness, and Seth was just tired. "Can I stay with you guys another night?" Leah asked Amber. Amber, sensing everyone's emotions, nodded her head mutely.

"Are we ready to go?" Nate asked, standing up. Kaitlyn and Leah nodded. Amber, Melissa, Leah, and Kaitlyn all followed Nate out of the hospital. There was nothing that I wanted more than to run out of this death trap, except talking to Seth.

I stood up and gave him a hug. He hugged me back, rubbing small circles in my back like I was the one whose cousin was injured. I should be the one consoling him. "How bad was it?" I asked, quietly. He ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath. "I'll call you tomorrow," he said without emotion. I felt kind of rejected by his lack of emotion, but I didn't let it bother me too much. It's been a long, terrible night and everyone was tired.

"Okay," I whispered, before leaving the hospital. The minute I stepped out of the building, my lungs filled with oxygen. It felt like I wasn't able to breathe until I stepped out. My headache was subsiding and the feeling of my stomach emptying was gone. Thank God. It's kind of funny how a place that's supposed to make normal people feel safe makes me feel like dying.

I ran up to the car and hopped in before anyone noticed that I had lagged behind. I didn't want anyone asking questions.

The ride home was quiet. Everyone was so deep in their thoughts that it would be dangerous to try to pull them out of it. My iPod was playing, but I didn't hear the music. All I could hear was the sound of my breathing. My breathing was the only thing that I could concentrate on without sending myself in to an attack. Breathe in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth.

When we got to the house, I jumped out of the car first and unlocked the front door. I wanted to be the first one in the shower so I could go to sleep. I knew what would be awaiting me the moment I closed my eyes, but I didn't care. The nightmares couldn't be any worse than how I felt right now.

I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth, changed into my pajamas and jumped into bed. I could feel the screams trying to erupt from my throat before I even closed my eyes. I needed to get a grip on myself. My old psychologist told me that I needed to find my happy place. I don't have many of those.

I thought of Ireland and my grandma's house. I thought of Kaitlyn, Melissa, and I catching fireflies in Mississippi one summer. I thought of Amber's graduation when she got a giant chocolate cake that she couldn't eat by herself, so we all shared. I thought of the first time I saw the Harry Potter movies.

I made a mistake by thinking of kissing Seth. Every time Seth came to my mind, I thought about the look on his face a few hours ago. I didn't want to think anymore. I kept my eyes closed and tried to focus on the silence. However, through the thin walls, I could hear Amber in Kaitlyn's room, talking to them. No doubt they were talking about Emily.

I couldn't take that at that moment. I pulled my iPod off of my dresser and put the ear buds into my ears. I decided to put Everlong by Foo Fighters on repeat. The mellow sounds of the guitar always calm me down enough to sleep.

Before I knew it, my eyes were closed. When I opened them up again, I was in the hospital. It wasn't Forks Hospital; it was the hospital back in New York. I was wearing one of those hospital gowns as I stood in a long and poorly lit corridor. At the end of the hall, I could see Scar. He was wearing all black, like I expected he would be at a funeral.

I ran towards him at full speed. I could feel tears streaming down my face. I was screaming but nothing came out. The closer I got, the paler he looked. I didn't care, I sprinted towards him.

When I reached him, I buried my face in his shirt. He was cold, but I still didn't care. I hugged him with all that I had in me. I looked up at him to see claw marks on his face. Blood was gushing out of his wounds. They were bear claw marks.

I screamed and ran down the corridor. My feet weren't moving fast enough. I was still crying, but these were no longer tears of happiness; they were of terror.

My throat was becoming dry from screaming and my limbs were tired from running but I didn't stop. I could hear a familiar voice screaming my name. It was Seth. I tried to follow his voice. It sounded like it was coming from a room. The room was the only room that was lit. I could see it in the distance.

The closer I got to the room, the better I felt. I knew that the minute that I stepped into the room, everything would be alright. I could feel it.

I reached for the door, expecting to see Seth when I opened it. As I turned the door knob and pushed the door open, my heart stopped. Scar was hanging from the ceiling with a noose tied around his neck and a chair toppled over beneath his feet.

My chest constricted in pain. The tears were pouring down my face and breathing was no longer an option. I turned around, trying to leave the stupid hospital, but a giant grizzly bear was in my way. It swiped at me and everything went black.

I woke up in my bed, screaming to the top of my lungs. After my throat was raw from screaming so much, I laid back down on the bed drenched in sweat with tears rolling down my face. I expected a nightmare, but nothing like that.

I sat back up on my bed and brought my knees to my chest. I tried to control my hyperventilating, but it was to no avail. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw my dream playing back in my head.

"I brought you water." I looked up to see Kaitlyn sitting down in my bean bag chair holding a bottle of Zephyrhills. I wiped the tears from my face and tried to look presentable. "How long have you been in here?" I questioned her, my voice still hoarse.

"I came in here as soon as Leah fell asleep. I knew that you would have a nightmare, so I waited for you to wake up. You were in the hospital for too long. Why didn't you leave?" Kaitlyn asked, handing me the bottle of water.

I shrugged. "I wanted to be supportive." I took several gulps of water. My throat burned from the "soothing" liquid, but at least I didn't feel as hot.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kaitlyn asked, sitting down next to me on the bed. I shook my head. I didn't want to relive it in my head. I knew that it would be impossible for me to speak it out loud without freaking out again.

"Do you think that I woke anyone up?" I asked Kaitlyn, feeling embarrassed. She shook her head. "Everyone was pretty tired from today. I don't think a bulldozer could come through this house and wake anyone."

I smiled a little out of relief and laid back down on the bed. My head was pounding and so was my heart. "How was Emily?" I asked, trying to remove the focus from me.

Kaitlyn shook her head in negativity. "She didn't look too well. But she looked a lot better than Sam did."