A/N: Here's the next installment, part 13/15. My appologies for the lateness, I hope it's worth waiting for.
Frodo's seizure lasted about five minutes. His body trashed uncontrollably, like a fish on a hook and his unseeing eyes seemed fixed to the ceiling. Worst of all, however was a low moan that escaped from his lips every few seconds as his body convulsed. It sent shivers through Bilbo's body and caused him to break into a cold sweat each time he heard it.
I can't lose him, Bilbo thought, he's all that matters to me. Bilbo glanced over at him to see if he was any better, which he wasn't.
This wouldn't have happened at Brandy Hall, Bilbo realized as he agonized over this fact. Perhaps Frodo would be better off there after all.
He would have had someone looking in on him every few minutes and there would have been enough medicine on hand to keep things from coming to this. On this other hand, the person taking care of Frodo might not have been the one he wanted for comfort and encouragement and even if it was, they wouldn't have had time to stay with him more than a few minutes. Which was more important? This was a hard question that he had no answer for. Bilbo then noticed the room became extremely quiet. He froze, feeling a sense of dread.
"Bilbo," Dahlia called, "Frodo is all right now, but brace yourself. What you see might be shocking to you." Bilbo took a deep breath and turned slowly. Frodo was laying on the floor, badly bruised from thrashing around and covered with sweat. Bilbo's heart nearly broke at the sight of this, but he forced himself to keep his composure and smile.
"Uncle Bilbo, are you there?" Frodo asked weakly.
This was too much for Bilbo. He dropped to knees, gathered Frodo up and hugged him like he would never let go. "Yes, Frodo, I'm here and I'm never going to leave you!" he told him.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Bilbo," Hamfast said. "I should've come earlier so I could've gotten the medicine and this wouldn't have happened."
"You had no way of knowing," Dahlia told him. "And even you did, it may have been too late to prevent this anyway."
"Well, I'll be off for it now so this don't happen again," the gardener said decisively.
When the medicine was given and his fever began to drop, Frodo quickly began to feel better, and he was the only one not happy about it. He tried to conceal this fact by asking for all the stories that he normally enjoyed and reacting appropriately to each event described in them. He also co-operated cheerfully with his treatment and ate as much as he could, which he knew would please his caregivers. This took a great of effort on his part, however and it wasn't long before the light that was beginning to return to his eyes faded again. Sensing this and wanting to avoid being questioned about it, he pretended to yawn and drift off to sleep. Dahlia looked with skepticism at Bilbo then went to the sitting room so they could talk alone.
"Frodo," Bilbo said gently, but got no response. "Frodo," he repeated more firmly, "I know you're awake; now open your eyes and tell me what's bothering you."
Frodo opened his eyes and sighed with resignation. "I never could fool you could I, Uncle Bilbo?" he asked.
"Frodo, why would you want to?" Bilbo asked. "You know that I love you and would do anything to help you, but I can't if I don't know what's wrong."
"I love you too, Uncle Bilbo, and Bag End and... well... isn't it time for my medicine again?" Bilbo gave Frodo his medicine but said nothing. "Well..." Frodo continued, sounding dejected when he realized Bilbo wasn't going to drop the subject. "I almost felt happy here."
"You almost felt happy?" Bilbo was intrigued when he heard that.
"Yes, just like I was with my parents, but now they're gone and it won't be right for me to me be happy anymore."
"Oh," Bilbo said slowly, beginning to understand at last. "So you think that getting on with your life and being happy again would be somehow disloyal to their memories."
"Yes, that's it exactly" Frodo cried, relieved that someone finally understood. "When they died, I didn't think I was ever going to be happy again, but I very nearly was here." He looked down sadly when he finished the last sentence.
"Well, Frodo let me asked you a few questions. If things were the other way around, your parents lost you but they were still here, how do think they would feel right now?"
"Pretty sad, I guess," Frodo admitted.
"Exactly. And would you want them to find healing and be happy again, instead staying sad for the rest of their lives?"
"Yes of course, but that's different," Frodo said, becoming impatient. "They could always have had another child to replace me, couldn't they?"
"Could they have had another child? Maybe and maybe not, but even if they had a large family it wouldn't have made losing you any less painful." Frodo looked confused when he heard that. "Look at it this way," Bilbo continued, "you had two parents. If you'd only lost one of them would your grief have been any less because you still had the other one?"
"I don't think so," Frodo admitted.
"I don't think so either," Bilbo told him. "Our loved ones are not interchangeable, Frodo. When we lose them, we lose part of ourselves. There's no getting around that, but we can grow stronger and yes we can still be happy. It's a most fitting tribute to their memories and undoubtedly what they would have wanted." There was wisdom in that, Frodo realized. "So do you think you could do that, Frodo?"
Frodo thought about this for a minute. "Yes," he said at last. "I'll try to be happy from now on."
"You don't have to try, Frodo, just let it happen like you did before. " Frodo nodded. "And remember," Bilbo continued, "It's all right to be sad sometimes and certainly to miss your parents. I miss mine sometimes even now, but it's all part of living."
Frodo considered this with understanding. That part of his life was over, but a new one was about to start. "Can I stay here with you, Uncle Bilbo?" he asked hopefully.
"I'm sure we can work something out," Bilbo replied.
There was a knock on the door at that moment and Dahlia entered with a cup in her hand. "How are you feeling, Frodo?" she asked as she sat next to his bed.
"Much better, thank you," Frodo replied. Indeed, he looked like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
"I'm glad to hear that, but not surprised," Dahlia told him with a smile as she placed the cup on the table. "I have some medicine for you."
"Is it what I had the last time?" Frodo asked with interest.
"Yes, hawthorn berry, catnip, boneset, licorice root and of course, athelas. All these things will help protect you from complications and help you get better more quickly. I can mix your tincture with it if you like." Frodo nodded and Bilbo handed the bottle to Dahlia. "You must be getting pretty tried of taking this every half hour?" Dahlia commented as she mixed it. Bilbo and Frodo both agreed whole-heartedly. "Then you'll both be glad to know," she continued, "that it's been a full twenty-four hours since you started, which means you no longer need it every half hour. Every eight hours will be enough and you can mix it with this. So you can both get some well deserved rest."
Frodo thought he would be delighted when he was finally able to sleep undisturbed, but his exhaustion suddenly left him when he faced with prospect of being alone. "I expect you'll be going to bed soon, Uncle Bilbo?" he asked, hoping his voice sounded causal.
"Yes, Frodo, we all need our sleep," Bilbo told him. "But not necessarily alone," he added. "Would you like me to stay here with you?"
"Oh yes, would you?" Frodo asked hopefully.
"Certainly. Dahlia, would you help me bring in my mattress?"
As Frodo watched the mattress being brought into his room and listened a bits of the discussion, his eyes began to get heavy, and a minute later he was sleeping peacefully.