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Alex raced around her apartment putting the last minute touches on the place. She wanted it to be perfect for tonight. The last three weeks had been blissful. She and Olivia had spent lots of time together. It was clear that their personal relationship was not interfering with their professional one and vice versa. Alex felt a unique yet curious mix of feelings every time she was near her girlfriend. She felt completely at ease and relaxed, yet her heart would pound and her palms would sweat. And when they kissed or whenever Liv touched her, wherever Liv touched her she felt her stomach flip followed by a dangerous tightening low in her belly.

Alex took a couple calming breaths as she took one last look around the apartment. She had decided that tonight was the night. She was going to reveal her true feelings for Olivia. She was going to tell her that she was in love with her. She hoped to God that wouldn't frighten her off. What they had was going so well. She didn't want to lose it. She also hoped that her feelings would be reciprocated. And if things went entirely according to her plan, they'd take their relationship to the next level physically as well.

Alex smiled at the prospect as she laid out her clothes for the evening. The mere thought brought a flush to her pale cheeks. It wasn't that they hadn't been physical. Kisses and hugs and near naked cuddling had been amazing, but aside from whatever possessed her to mount Liv's belly their first morning together, it had been fairly tame.

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"I, uh…you look…" Liv swallowed a few times as she entered the apartment on pure autopilot. The goddess before her was dressed in a red dress that clung to her in a sexy yet sophisticated way. Her silky blonde hair cascaded down her soft rounded shoulders in carefully set curls. The blue eyes and patrician features of her face were subtly yet stunningly highlighted with makeup. The eyes twinkled merrily as Liv struggled for air and wondered suddenly if she'd developed asthma. The air in her lungs and maybe the room was hard to locate right now. 'Words. I should say words.' "Wow." 'Ok, be more specific in your word request next time.'

Alex smiled at her struggling girlfriend. "Hi honey." She gestured to the bouquet of flowers Olivia had a white-knuckle grip on at the moment. "Maybe I should take those and your coat?"

Liv tried to snap herself out of it, but as she looked around, she could see the apartment was lit almost entirely by the soft glow of candlelight. 'Better words than wow, Benson.' She cleared her throat. "Yeah, that'd be great. The place looks fabulous and you, you look…lovely beyond the limits of my vocabulary, Alex."

Alex smiled brightly at her girlfriend's gushing comments. She hoped that she would like everything she had done. It looked like that mission was accomplished. "Thank you." She said more breathily than she expected and placed her hands under the collar of Liv's jacket. "You look great as usual, too." Liv was wearing one of her favorite sweaters underneath her leather jacket. There was just nothing sexier to her than her girlfriend in this tight burgundy sweater and black slacks. She leaned in and captured Liv's lips in a quick but thorough kiss of greeting.

"These are for you, baby." Liv held out the roses and cursed her stupid hand for the small tremor present. The brief kiss had sent currents of electricity through Liv's body that settled in embarrassing places.

"They are beautiful, Liv." Alex took them and held her hand out for her coat. "Why don't you give me your coat and go sit in the living room?"

Liv blinked, nodded and shrugged out of her coat. She had to snap out of this state soon. Alex had gone to a lot of trouble for her and she was standing around gape-mouthed and unappreciative. After Alex hung up her coat in the hall and turned to walk to the kitchen, Liv approached her from behind.

"Hey you." Alex whispered as strong hands snaked around her waist.

Liv buried her face in the crook of Alex's neck and inhaled deeply. Her senses were once again set aflame by the scent of her girlfriend's perfume. She pulled her gently against her with a hand that had flattened itself against the flat of Alex's stomach. The satiny fabric was soft and cool under her hands.

Alex sighed and pressed back against Liv's warmth and strength. She closed her eyes as the muscles of her stomach reacted to Liv's firm yet gentle touch.

Liv lifted her head slightly and nuzzled Alex's ear. "You've gone to a lot of trouble here, Alex. Thank you." She placed a kiss just under Alex's ear.

Alex shivered at the warm breath against her sensitive ear. "Y-you're welcome."

"I'll be in the living room when you're ready." "Liv whispered and kissed Alex softly on the side of her neck. She flexed her fingers against the flat of Alex's stomach as she held her firmly against her a moment longer. She pulled back, turned and walked off.

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Alex entered the living room with a martini and a Maker's Mark on the rocks for her girlfriend. "I took the liberty of pouring you a drink." She smiled as she handed Liv her drink and sat down next to her.

"Thanks, Alex." Liv immediately draped an arm around Alex. "So, what's the occasion? You seem to have pulled out all the stops here." She smirked charmingly.

Alex sipped her drink and debated internally whether it was too soon to let the conversation get too heavy. "Does there have to be an occasion?" She swirled her olives in her drink absently. Her glacier blue eyes found the soft brown ones. "It's just for you and just because…" She added a small shrug for effect.

"I guess not." Liv grabbed her hand and linked their fingers. "I'm just not used to anyone making a fuss like this…just for me and just because." She kissed the back of her hand. "I like it, though. And you look so beautiful, Alex." She was a bit confused when the words she spoke almost caught in her throat and caused her to choke up.

"You're worth fussing over, Olivia. I like doing nice things for you. I love how you appreciate them. I wish I could convince you that you deserve them." Alex squeezed Olivia's strong warm hand.

"That…that's hard for me." Liv couldn't manage any more words before her eyes filled with tears. "Really hard."

Alex pulled Liv to her. "Sweetie? It's ok. I didn't mean to upset you." She wrapped her arms around shoulders now trembling. "Shhh, it's ok. Whatever it is. I'm here and it's ok, Liv." She hadn't anticipated this in her evening plan at all and wasn't sure what had spurred Liv's reaction.

Liv cried on Alex's shoulder. She wanted to stop. She was going to spoil Alex's dress. She just couldn't stop herself. It was all pouring out. Alex deserved to know why. Liv sniffed and murmured against Alex's chest. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I'm here for you, Liv. Whatever you need, I'm right here." Alex rubbed soothing circles on her back.

Liv closed her eyes and decided it was time to share her biggest secret with the woman she loved. She attempted to steady her voice. "Do you know why I joined SVU, Alex?"

"No, I don't." Alex answered softly.

"My Mom was raped." Liv pushed away slightly so she could see Alex's face.

Alex's face registered pure horror. "Oh God, Liv. I'm so sorry. I didn't know." She attempted to pull Liv back to her.

Liv resisted her girlfriend's pull. "There's a little more to the story." She exhaled heavily. "She got pregnant as a result of the rape."

"Oh no. That's awful." She assumed this must have been what caused Mom Benson to become an alcoholic. How Olivia must have suffered! "How old were you when it happened?" Alex asked assuming Liv must have lived through the trauma with her mother. Alex also knew Liv had no siblings…so she could only assume her mother aborted.

Liv drew a breath like it might be her last. "See, that's the thing. That's how…she got pregnant with me." She widened her eyes and locked them with Alex. "I'm the product of my mother's rape."

Alex couldn't move. Her eyes were locked with Liv's soft brown eyes. Those eyes were wide with fear and doubt and shone with tears. Slowly, Alex shook her head. "No, Liv. Your mother decided to share that information with you?"

Liv nodded back. "I was around seven and had just spilled juice on the new rug. She was drunk and mean at the time and really sorry once it came out…but try putting that cat back in the bag." Tears slid out of her eyes.

Alex couldn't stop the tears from sliding down her cheeks either. Her wonderful Olivia was forced to feel less worthy of life because of the circumstances of her conception. That's why it was hard for her to accept that Alex would do something special for her just because. She reached out her hand and caught Liv's tears with her fingers. "You…are the most incredible person I've ever met, Olivia Benson. You are deserving of only good things. Everything you are, everything you've done…all the people you've helped make you who you are. And what you are to me," she held Olivia's face in her hands, "is the woman I love." She kissed away the remaining tears.

Liv struggled to process the words she had just heard. She could feel Alex kissing her face. "What? What did you say?"

Alex pulled back and held Liv's eyes. "I love you, Olivia. I am in love with you." She pressed a delicate kiss on Liv's full lips and tasted the salt of her tears on them.

Liv pulled back. "You love me?"

"Yes. I love you. Very much." Alex smiled a small smile. "I can't help it."

Liv smiled back as her eyes filled once again not with tears of shame and inadequacy but of joy. "That's good because I love you, too, with all my heart."

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