Author's Note – I'm late! :( I wanted to post this on 10/10/10 but there was so much work and college apps and stuff… but anyways, Happy Belated Tenten Day! And happy belated birthday Naruto!
This fic is actually directly inspired off of a party I recently went to… so yeah… I felt rather like Tenten did in the situation, though things weren't quite as eventful for me =P I'm trying first person narrative for a change, so the writing style will be rather different, and more casual in this. Oh, and just assume Sasuke is back after his revenge debacle.
Hope you guys enjoy it! Please leave a review! Please!
Special thanks to all those who reviewed! I read your reviews and they made me smile like a moron! Like one of Gai-sensei's blinding ones =D so thanks!
Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto…
Warning – contains mature language and lots of drunkenness. please stay away if that bothers you.
#$*&!
I'm going to kill Naruto.
I'm going to take a fuuma shuriken and skewer that boy.
Which wannabe-Hokage mixes alcohol into all his drinks? Seriously?
Oh right – Tsunade-sama would have too… in fact, I think she was behind this, you know. She probably gave him permission to get drinks on his birthday.
Pretty foolish, if you ask me.
I mean we're all underage. Well, I'm not. Nor are Neji and Lee, actually. But Naruto and his little gang certainly are.
And we're ninja. We're used to being alert and cautious and graceful – we're insanely powerful and have to have perfect chakra control – why would they give us something that makes us lose control of our senses?
Have they learnt nothing from what happened with Lee?
I mean, okay, I know Lee just has a freakishly low capacity, and even a few sips of sake have a devastating effect on him; but still, it's plain idiocy.
Especially since the baka never told us he'd spiked the drinks – and he'd used some colorless, odorless, tasteless alcohol so we'd never even notice!
Which is what makes me suspect Lady Tsunade all the more. She's my idol and all, but she's always had a talent for making colorless, odorless, tasteless yet potentially harmful substances.
Thank Kami-sama Lee had some sense in him, and isn't drunk. If he was, I don't know what I'd do.
He's been sick, so he hasn't been eating or drinking much outside. It's a good thing too, because if he had, this entire place would have been destroyed by multiple Lotuses and Leaf Whirlwinds, I'm sure.
Still, I predict a future fight. With ninjutsu.
Kiba looks pretty tipsy. So do Sasuke and Naruto, actually. I'm pretty sure they'll instigate the fight.
Can't quite tell about Hinata, though Sakura and Ino are on their way to being sloshed. Sai keeps pouring the damn stuff down their throats. I think they've had about ten sake shots each. Morons.
Sakura's just going all, "Sasuke-kun, come sit with me! Sasuke-kun, you look so handsome! Sasuke-kun, let's revive your clan! Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-kuuun!"
Sasuke's pretty indifferent to her, though he looks mildly annoyed.
Sai of course, is sober. He's smiling that fake smile of his, and getting Sakura and Ino drunk. Ino especially – she gets really slutty when she's drunk apparently. She keeps hitting on Sasuke as well, who just glares at her. I'm pretty sure he was on the verge of fireballing her, to tell you the truth. She flung her arms around him, and tried making out with him. He substituted, and she was left kissing a log. It was priceless, really.
She moved on to Shikamaru after that, who just looked pissed. It's a good thing Temari isn't here yet. That girl has the temper of a rhinoceros, and she's pretty damn powerful with her fan. Trust me, I'd know.
Oh – Ino's making out with Shikamaru now – excellent… oh, and did the Sand Siblings just arrive? This is going to be good.
I'm not a sadist or anything, but Ino's an insult to kunoichi. She can't even throw a shuriken properly, and now she's whoring herself out to her teammate. What the hell?
She even tried hitting on Neji, the bitch. He just gave her this cold 'don't-fuck-with-me-or-I'll-jyuuken-your-guts-out' look, and she shied away after that.
Bitch.
Though one up to Neji!
It's not like I'm possessive or anything. It's just – stupid. stupid Naruto.
I thought drunken Lee was bad. He was a miniature disaster.
But drunken Neji? I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to handle that!
Yes, Neji is drunk.
The world's coming to an end. I can just imagine Hiashi-sama's wrath if we bring home Neji drunk.
The only worse thing would be Neji and Hinata drunk.
I don't know how he managed it; he can usually detect any substance with his Byakugan, but I suppose he hadn't thought it was necessary to use his dojutsu.
So now he's tipsy. Or he should be tipsy, but apparently Hyuuga have really low capacities. Shocking, really. I thought Neji would have a high capacity, if he ever loosened himself enough to touch alcohol.
But no – he has the capacity of a ten-year old civilian girl, I swear. Sasuke Uchiha beats him hollow at drinking. So does Naruto, actually. The two are having a drinking contest. They've already downed a bottle of champagne each, plus at least fifteen shots.
But back to Neji, who is drunk. And Lee is surprisingly sober! And I'm sober too, because I know Neji will never forgive me if I get drunk and then Lee has to take care of both of us.
So I'm 'taking care' of Neji. Right now, this mainly involves helping him walk. Because he can't walk properly. He's falling all over the place. He can't see that well either, he keeps saying he's seeing double and triple of things. I guess alcohol has a bad effect on dojutsu. He's always had sensitive eyes.
Hm… it's not that bad actually. Since Neji can't walk, he needs support. And though Lee had offered his 'youthful services', Neji just glared at him.
He wasn't drunk enough to let Lee escort him. So I was given the pleasure. Oh, joy.
I'd much rather be training.
Well, maybe not.
He's leaning on me right now. My arm is around him, and his hair is tickling my cheek, and he's warm – and Neji would never let me do this if he was sober…
It's kind of nice, getting to touch – oh my god! No! Why am I thinking like this again! I'm not drunk! I shouldn't be!
That's another reason I didn't want to get drunk. I'd probably come onto Neji if I was, like how Ino's currently coming onto – Sai – wow, what a harlot, she changes quickly – wait, is that a black eye I see? Damn, Temari must've socked her baaad - but yeah, I'd be all over Neji and he'd be scandalized and disgusted.
But right now – he's – somewhat – over me, and I'm secretly thrilled and fan-girling.
Yes, I know it's pathetic, but I've secretly been in love with him for ages. And I've always longed to have him touch me. And now his hand is on my waist, I can feel his breath against my neck (I can smell it too, it's like sake) and I can feel adrenaline pumping through my body, like I'm about to fight an Akatsuki or something.
It's kind of flattering that once drunk he'd come to me. Not that he's hitting on me (I almost wish he was), but I guess it shows he trusts me most.
#$*&!
"Tenten," Neji slurs after awhile, and his voice is so husky and low, it gives me chills, "Can we sit down?"
"Alright, Neji," I say, supporting him and taking him to a couch – nooo, not that one. Damnit, why is Temari glaring at me, it's not like I meant to interrupt her little face-eating spree with Shikamaru.
Oh, look, it's Ino and penis-boy. His hand is up her shirt, and so is hers; seriously, it's difficult to tell which one is the male in that relationship.
And – what in the name of green spandex? Sakura and Sasuke? How did that happen!
Last time I'd seen Sasuke, he'd been yelling at Naruto while they had a drinking contest. Some crap about bonds and brothers and forehead protectors. But anyways, he's making out with Sakura now… a quick transition, I must say…
Well, not exactly making out – she's plonked herself on his lip, and is kissing him furiously. He's not exactly stopping her, though he looks kinda doped.
Anyways, moving on…
Ah, finally an empty bench. Lee's here, and he waves enthusiastically. I take Neji to go down and sit next to him.
"Yosh! Youthful teammates! How are you?"
"Spectacular," I answer sarcastically.
Lee seems to sense my sardonic tone, and he furrows his bushy brows, surveying Neji carefully.
"Tenten," he asks slowly, "Is our dear friend Neji – drunk?"
"No!" Neji scoffs vehemently, "Don't be ridiculous!"
His voice is thick, and not as cutting as usual. Lee, perceptive little bugger, seems to realize this.
"My rival!" he cries, standing up and striking a ludicrous pose, a blaming finger pointed at Neji, "You are drunk! What would Gai-sensei say?"
"I give a damn," Neji replies, slurring.
Okay, so he hasn't lost his senses, at least.
"This is a disaster!" Lee screeches, eyes bugging out, "Tenten, we must do something!"
"Lee, I think he's fine," I say wearily, but Lee has sped off, yelling something about abstinence, his orange tie fluttering behind him.
I snort. It was rather ironic, coming from Lee.
"Idiot," Neji mutters, leaning on me slightly.
"Are you okay?" I ask him.
Neji moves away, turning to look at me. He places his hands on my shoulders, and my heart skips a beat. His silvery white eyes are boring into mine, and his hair is loose, framing his handsome face.
"I'm fine, Tenten," he says, "Don't worry. I just can't walk properly, but that's all."
"Alright," I say casually, trying not to ogle at him to obviously.
Why is he so handsome? I can't help myself!
#$*&!
We sit in silence for awhile – it's a relief to get away from the crowd of gyrating people on the dance floor. Neji and I have never really been dancers, unless you count are jutsus, which do require lots of spinning.
Lee had been dancing earlier though. It was more taijutsu and less dance, but those civilians seemed to like it.
Why are we here again? And not training – oh right…. Naruto's birthday.
"Why aren't you wearing a dress?" Neji suddenly asks me, and I can't believe my ears.
"What?" I ask back.
"Why aren't you wearing a dress?" he repeats.
"I don't usually wear dresses," I reply cautiously, "Difficult to move around in, if we're suddenly attacked and I need to run or perform a jutsu, you know…"
Why is he asking me this? Neji has never been one to care about clothes.
I look down rather self-consciously at my long, red and black empress waist top. I'm wearing it with a black belt, behind which I've hidden a row of shuriken. There are senbon strapped to my waist as well, underneath the top. I'm wearing black tights, and heels, which have detachable kunai as heels.
Am I underdressed?
Ino's wearing a purple halter dress. Sakura's wearing some strapless green thing, and Hinata's in a baby blue tube. Even Temari's wearing a miniscule black piece of cloth with all these holes – but I've always been one for practicality.
Still, if Neji's asking, does that mean he looks down upon my dress sense? No, that's ridiculous. This is Neji. All he thinks about is training.
"I don't mean to be rude," Neji is saying softly, "But – at Hinata-sama's you were wearing a dress. I was wondering why you didn't again."
Wow. He noticed? I had worn a dress – damn uncomfortable thing – for the first time. But Neji hadn't said anything then, so I assumed he didn't see, or just didn't care.
"Well, they're uncomfortable," I mutter, shrugging, "Why do you even care?"
"You looked nice," Neji says simply, and my heart skips a beat.
I'm blushing, I know I'm blushing.
Neji couldn't not have just complimented me – not that it was much of a compliment… but still!
Suddenly, he reaches up, and he's taken a lock of my hair, and he's twirling it around a finger.
"Your hair looks really pretty though," Neji says, his eyes slightly unfocused, "I like it like this. You should wear it down more often…"
What?
His hand moves back – and now he's running his fingers through my hair.
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!
What the hell do I do?
He's definitely drunk. Yep, the alcohol's started taking an effect on his brain.
"Um – thank you?" I mumble, turning away, but he leans into me again, his arm around my waist.
"I feel dizzy," Neji murmurs as if in explanation, so I let him lean against me, our sides pressed together, reveling in the warmth of him.
"Neji?" I ask, an idea suddenly hitting me.
"Yes?"
"How many tenketsu are there in the human body?"
"Three hundred and sixty one."
"…right. And what elemental type beats lightning?"
"Wind. Tenten, why-"
"What's the hidden village in the land of Water?"
"Kirigakure, and Tenten why are you quizzing me on basic ninja knowledge?"
"…I was bored," I lie, and he's drunk enough to buy it. Or at least, he doesn't say anything.
He's also drunk enough to – hit on me? Flirt with me?
No, he was probably just trying to be nice.
No. Neji didn't just do 'nice' for no reason.
But if he could answer my questions, he obviously has some idea what he's doing… so why would he… or maybe he just is a genius. Drunk, but still able to recall every word of the shinobi guidebooks and academy lectures.
Lee comes running in at that moment, with a glass of water and – is that a tablet? Seems like it.
"I have medicine!" Lee announces triumphantly, "Open up, Neji!"
"Lee I don't think that's a good idea," I warn, but Lee has already pounced on Neji and is attempting to pry his mouth open.
Neji fights him off, looking thoroughly irritated, but his coordination isn't that good at the moments, his reflexes are slow, and Lee is fast, and somehow Lee manages to shove the tablet down his throat, followed by a glass of –
"ROCK LEE!" I screech suddenly, standing up and snatching the glass from his hands.
Neji sits up, sputtering, forced to swallow the liquid.
"Where did you get that from?" I demand.
"Kiba gave it to me," Lee says, "I told him Neji was drunk and we wanted water-"
"Lee, you idiot!" I shook him, my eyes darting to a rather dazed Neji.
"What's wrong Tenten? Why are you behaving so unyouthfully! I was trying to help Neji and-"
"Lee, if there's one thing Gai-sensei hasn't taught you it's this: never ever get a drink from a bar, especially from someone like Kiba! This thing was probably spiked!"
"Spiked! NO!" Lee looked devastated, clutching his head.
"Yes! You've just got him more drunk than before!"
"OH NO!" Lee cried, falling to his feet, "Neji! Neji! Forgive me!"
He's sobbing, clutching at Neji's hands, and Neji looks quite dazed – he's not even pushing Lee off – and I just hope that the forsaken drink was diluted…
#$*&!
Half an hour has passed, and damnit, I wish I was drunk.
Kiba is wasted. Completely. So is Shikamaru.
Lee, the little busybody, keeps running around as if he's doing laps, carrying bowls of little lemons, and squeezing the stuff down their throats.
Apparently Kiba puked a couple of times – right now, Shino's bugs are holding him up so that if he faints, the stuff doesn't get stuck the wrong way.
Temari's fretting over Shikamaru, who is also quite wasted. He looks doped, and keeps repeating the word 'troublesome'. He can't stand up straight, and Gaara's holding up him and Kankuro (who is also sloshed) with his sand.
Lee keeps giving me updates, you see, along with limes for Neji.
Ino and Sai have disappeared somewhere – I don't know where. I don't even want to know.
Sakura's drinking again. And this time she's gotten innocent, sweet Hinata into it too.
Hiashi-sama is going to throw a fit.
Naruto will never get Hokage at this rate. I'm pretty sure the Hyuuga will rebel if he does.
Hinata and Sakura were both sobbing about something, till they got drunk, and now Sakura's throwing a raging fit.
"Thank you, you bitch!" Sakura is screaming, "I tell you I love you and all I get is a fucking thank you! Well fine then, screw you, you revenge-seeking bastard! Go fuck Itachi for all I care! You've been obsessing about him unhealthily anyway since the age of seven! Go to that snake pedophile, let him dress you up like a man-whore! I don't give a damn! Shannaro! Go screw Naruto for all I care! You've been wanting that all along anyway, haven't you, you frigid ice-prick! It's always been Naruto, Naruto, fucking Naruto! You tried to kill me, but when Naruto wants to cry and whine about bonds, you fucking listen to him, you fucking press him to your chest like some kind of a gay brother-fucker, and all I get is a fucking thank you! HELL NOOOO!"
Damn, she's punched a table, and smashed it to smithereens.
This is going to cost us. Bet it'll come right out of Tsunade's pocket, if she hasn't wasted it all on gambling debts.
Now Hinata's sobbing even harder – and oh no, she's choking! I should help – okay, never mind, Lee to the rescue. He's thumping her on the back, and damnit Lee stop squeezing lemons down people's throats!
I leave after a while, dragging Neji along with me; I don't know why I even bothered to listen to Sakura's rant. I was more worried about Hinata actually. She's a sweet girl, but Lee's got her now, and there's only one drunk Hyuuga I can handle at a time.
I'm taking him outside for some fresh air – and OH KAMI-SAMA!
Okay, now I get why Sakura was in such a state.
I cannot believe what I am seeing.
Sasuke and Naruto are outside, pressed against a wall, kissing wildly.
What. The. Hell.
Yep, they're making out, quite violently at that, and Sasuke's hands are at Naruto's waist, and his are in Sasuke's hair, and this can't be another little 'accident'.
Those two are gay for each other?
…at least Lee has no more competition for Sakura with Sasuke.
Heck, he's kissing Naruto much more passionately than he'd been kissing Sakura earlier.
Geez, never knew the Uchiha was actually a man-whore.
But Naruto? What about poor Hinata, who practically died for the boy!
Oblivious idiot.
Though if he'd crushed on Sasuke, I suppose that explains a lot.
Okay, I can't watch this much longer, no matter how hot it may be. Back inside, I suppose.
Not that things are any – less hot – inside.
Neji – darling, drunken Neji. My teammate, and sparring partner.
Oh, I am never letting him live this down… next sparring practice, and that boy is going to get it from me!
Or – maybe not.
His hands are on my waist. And he's practically breathing down my chest.
If this was any shinobi but Neji, they'd have been Soshoryu-d by now, I swear on Gai-sensei's precious weights.
"Tenten," he says, and his voice is husky, and is sending shivers down my spine.
And oh my god.
He did not just – feel me up?
What is happening?
Neji's hands have moved to my neck – and breathe, Tenten breathe – and now it's sliding down my sides, and my heart is racing, and I think I'm going to die of bliss.
What is he doing?
His hand is dangerously close to my chest – just missed – good thing, because I'd have to pin him in training otherwise – and now his fingers are tracing across the bare skin of my forearm.
He's leaning in – he's leaning in and I can smell his breath. It's like alcohol and it's intoxicating.
His hair is tickling my forehead.
Oh my god.
His hands are low, dangerously low – they're at my lower back – and did he just grope me?
I'm delusional. My heart is racing. He's drunk. He's really really really drunk, and he has no idea what he's doing, but I do, and I can't even stop him because I want this so badly.
"Neji?" I ask, failing miserably at sounding annoyed, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
It comes out as a squeak.
He smirks – damn arrogant smirk – but it looks so sexy.
"Stop pretending you don't like it," he whispers, and his breath caresses my cheek.
"Neji, you're drunk, and you have no idea what you're doing. You're going to regret this and- oh!"
I gasp, and my heart is hammering against my chest. I don't know what to say, and the breath has been stolen from my lungs by this devastatingly handsome boy.
Devastatingly handsome boy who's mouth is on my neck – and wow.
He's kissing me. He's kissing my neck, so softly, but he's absolutely and undoubtedly inebriated, and now his hand is sneaking under my top, and I really should stop him-
"Tell me to stop," his lips move against the column of my neck, and I can feel his tongue against my skin.
"Tell me to stop," Neji repeats, his voice slightly muffled, "And I will."
"Neji-" I try, but his hand moves lower, and squeezes, and the hand under my shirt ventures higher.
"You know you can't tell me to stop, because you're enjoying this yourself. I know you've wanted this, Tenten…"
"You are by far – aaah…the most infuriating shinobi – oh! – that I have ever had – Nejiiii…the misfortune - to meet," I manage between gasps and moans, the biting tone of my statement lost entirely.
His hands are roaming unashamedly over my figure, and I don't mind. I don't even bother resisting anymore. He can do whatever the hell he wants to.
I like it, and I let him. I let him touch me wherever he wants to, not caring that he's drunk, not caring that he's practically using me, not caring that if he remembers in the morning I've probably screwed up our team dynamics for eternity.
And then he kisses me – on the lips. He tastes like vodka, and I kiss him back, and our tongues entangle. I slip my hand up his shirt, and he lets me, pulling me closer, his hands entangling themselves in my hair.
It's bliss. It's pure drunken bliss, and though I'm not intoxicated, I don't think any form of alcohol would make me as high as Neji's touches and kisses.
Who needs sake, when you've got a dangerously attractive, drop-dead gorgeous shinobi all over you?
And you know what? I may as well capitalize on this situation. It's not a common one, and if you look at it, I'm only gaining, really.
Did I say I hated Naruto?
I love the boy! I hope he has a great birthday, and I hope Sasuke does all sorts of illicitly sensual things to him – heck, he deserves it!
Wow – did Neji just – oh wow.
We're going to regret this in the morning. And I'm going to kill him during sparring.
#$*&!
"Nothing? Nothing at all?" I practically holler.
Neji looks at me blankly, his white eyes narrowing.
The idiot didn't even have the decency to get a freaking hangover! He shows up to practice all stoic and calm as if nothing had happened?
Oh, and did I mention, he doesn't remember a single thing!
"I don't know why you're reacting like this," Neji says coolly, "I told you, I'm unable to recall anything clearly. But that isn't even of consequence. Let's just begin our spar."
I splutter unintelligently, not knowing what to see.
Then, I pounce on him, nunhcaks raised and spinning lethally.
His eyes flash, and he dodges gracefully – and shouldn't his movements just be a little bit uncoordinated!
He couldn't freaking walk yesterday! How can he be fine!
I send a volley of shuriken at him, and he deflects them perfectly, even sending one back, enveloped with blazing blue chakra.
Oh, I am going to pulverize him…
#$*&!
"Twin Rising Dragons!"
"Eight Trigram, Palm Rotation!"
#$*&!
"Tenten – calm down," Neji says, as I glare murderously at him.
He's closed off a few chakra points.
I got distracted, I admit. Though I drew first blood, just a scratch on his forearm. And he's limping, I see.
But then he got really close for a second, and his stupid chakra-jab was dangerously close to my chest, and I just got distracted.
Damn him.
"What's wrong?" Neji asks gently, seeing my obvious frustration.
He takes my wrist in his hand, pushing my sleeve back with my fingers. He's about to re-open my closed tenkutsu, it's quite a common practice we've established after sparring, but the moment his fingers brush against my skin, I jerk my arm back.
"Leave it, Neji!" I snarl, and he raises an eyebrow.
"Your arm will go numb," he informs me, "You won't be able to wield a weapon and defend with just one arm."
"I don't care!" I snap.
How can he act so – normal? How can he act like nothing happened! How can he – forget, damnit!
"Tenten, is this because of something that happened yesterday?" Neji asks, sounding all too knowing.
Though really, he doesn't know anything.
"Nothing happened yesterday!" I growl at him.
"You're upset, Tenten. Just tell me what's wrong," he says, his white eyes full of concern.
I nearly melt, but there is no way in hell that I will succumb to him again.
I'd rather fight Kisame again, I'd rather be trapped in a water prison (so he can save me and catch me in his arms and – NO!)
Just – no.
I feel like such a fool.
"Just – leave me alone," I mutter, turning away, and I begin to pick up my discarded weapons.
He stops me though, suddenly coming behind me, his hands gripping my upper arms.
"Tenten," he mutters, almost warningly, but I can feel his chest, just barely, against my back, and why is he whispering in my ear?
What's with the sudden close proximity, Neji?
"Go away and leave me alone, Neji!"
"Tenten, you are by far the most infuriating kunoichi I have ever had the misfortune to meet," he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm, and I swear his lips have brushed the top of my ear.
I whirl around, angrily, about to ask him what the hell he means, and why he would say that, when he disappears, in a swirl of leaves.
His words echo in my head.
They seem oddly familiar.
OH.
Oh no…
DAMN YOU NEJI HYUUGA!
#$*&!
Author's Note – Done. Completely pointless. Terribly OOC. But fun to write nonetheless. Sorry if the OOC and drunkenness bothered you, but that was something I had to get out of my system. And I wanted to write something completely out of canon and impossible. So yes…please review, sweethearts, please! =) I'd really like to cross 100 soon, and I'm pretty close…
Tenten got Neji on her as a 10/10/10 day present, and Naru got Sasuke-kun for his birthday present! So they're both happy =)
(Oh, and S, if you're reading this, know that I love you! =D)