Chapter 13 - Pillow Talk

The first thing Sakura felt as the idea that she wasn't dead made its way into her awakening mind was blissful relief. The second thing was that it was damn hot where she was currently lying, but she was more comfortable than she'd actually been in a week.

She cracked a tired green eye to see nothing but a darkened room shrouded by the nighttime outside two unusual round windows on either side of the room. The blanket over her body was more or less just a soft cotton sheet and felt feather-light on her tired limbs. Overhead, a ceiling fan with fat round panels spun calmly, giving a gentle breeze against her coverings. The air was dry, but smelled sweet like spices.

Gently waving around her were organza panels of reds and purples hanging from rods between the four-posters of the bed she lay in. It was a large bed with high wooden posters covered in intricate carvings, but it was too dark to make them out properly. The soothing sway of the organza made her feel like she'd just been dropped in paradise - sticky and hot perhaps- but paradise none-the-less.

The walls were rounded, a reddish colour, and had a few scattered pictures of nothing she could currently make out. A grand arrangement of flowers stood on a low table at the end of the bed, illuminated by beams of moonlight, and she thought there might be a dresser of some sort across the room but it was too dark to tell if were, perhaps, a desk instead.

Finally waking a little more, Sakura tried to sit up, but finding her body objecting she just propped herself up on her elbows for a better look around the room. When she turned her head to the side, she saw the ragged form of Hatake Kakashi, sunk low into a soft looking armchair and sleeping quietly.

With a tinge of a smile, Sakura lowered herself back down to the feather pillow and just stared at him for as long as her tired eyes would allow.

He was still dressed in his vest and mask, but his headband was half dangling from the arm of the chair, his fingers tucked protectively under the leather. His head was tipped back, and his hair was messy – though Sakura couldn't tell if it were any different from any other day. He'd stretched his legs out and looked like he'd propped a cushion under his arm for comfort. He was turned slightly away from the bed, and she could see his scar clearly in the moonlight - a perfect silver line over his eye.

Once again, he'd saved her. Once again, she'd needed to be saved. The whole mission had been one big screw up from beginning to end, and the old feeling of being useless sat in Sakura's aching stomach. What would he say when they spoke again?

Had he not come, she was sure they'd be putting her name on the memorial at that very moment.

Turning back to the fan, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

She swore when she got back home, she would lock herself in the lab and never come out. Her comrades deserved better.

The next time Sakura awoke, bright sunshine streamed across the walls in pale yellow beams from the circular windows. She could hear sounds outside the door and was quite sure it was her own door shutting with a snap that had woken her.

Heat still filled the room, even more so with the sunshine. The fan still spun above her, wafting the organza and creating an atmosphere in the room that hummed relaxation. And upon closer inspection of herself, the kunoichi realized she was dressed in some sort of cotton hospital gown, which was short and untied in back. The cotton sheets felt velvety on her naked back over the luxuriously soft feather bed.

All in all, Sakura felt a little worse than she did when she woke in the night, like her muscles had gone on strike and were going to fight movement all the way, so she didn't bother to attempt sitting up this time. Instead, she turned her head to the side to find Kakashi still in his chair, but awake and working away with a needle and thread on her freshly laundered red shirt. His headband was back in place, but his vest was now hanging on the side of the chair.

"I was just joking," she whispered, watching his fingers make a tiny stitch. Her mouth was parched, lips dry. Speaking was difficult, and she had to clear her throat after just the first few words.

Kakashi looked at her, then at the door before tugging down his mask and giving her a feeble smile. "How are you feeling?"

Sakura observed that he didn't look himself. Dark circles lay under his eyes, and his skin was pale and gaunt. His hand quivered as he made a stitch and sweat beaded his upper lip.

"About how you look," she breathed out, her brow creased.

Kakashi waved it off with a shaking hand. "Can I get you anything?" he asked quietly.

Sakura shook her head and with some effort and a few cracking joints, shifted her body to the other side of the large bed before patting the empty space beside her.

Kakashi took a deep breath, put her shirt on the chair arm, and then stopped fighting the inevitable by lying down.

For a moment, after all the shifting and rumpling of bed-sheets had stopped, they both just lay in comfortable silence.

Kakashi closed his eyes and felt the immediate desire to fall asleep.

Sakura took in his slow movements and the way he stretched his long lean body out beside her. He seemed to sink into the mattress as if he were unsure about it. Drawing slightly closer, she breathed in the clean scent of soap mixed with that something musky and alluring that was distinctly Kakashi.

For Sakura, there would never be anything that would ever smell as good as he did at that moment.

She scooted closer, feeling for Kakashi's sleeve to run her fingers along it, wanting to add to what her other senses were picking up. Tired as she was, nothing would make her feel better than just being near him for a while.

When she felt the tingle of his chakra mingled with hers at her fingers, she smiled. Kakashi turned his head and cracked his eye, feeling it also.

"So what happened?" Sakura finally whispered, moving close enough that she could press the top of her bare foot under the sheet against his leg.

"I couldn't get to you in time," he responded groggily. "You gave me a real scare."

Sakura sighed, knowing his guilt was probably getting the better of him. "That's not what I meant. Where's the scroll?"

"Ah, the scroll," he sighed sleepily. "Well, Pakkun had arrived at the Hidden Village of Sand, which is where we are now, and spoke with Temari. Gaara sent Kankuro back with Pakkun to see if he could help. Apparently, Kankuro saw us leave the casino the first time, and stumbled onto the chaos of Shin yelling at his security and getting mad enough to chase them all from the room for a bit. Kankuro took the opportunity to use a puppet to set off the steel wall, but to leave enough room to grab the scroll. He's depressed that he had to destroy one."

"Kankuro was there? So the puppet was the fingers I saw," she breathed out in disbelief. "What about the other ninja?"

"They came in immediately after Kankuro left. Nadare Choojoo is a man I'd had dealings with a few times before. He's S-Class. His group is all elites from the Snow Country. You're lucky to be alive being up against that many. I'm lucky to be alive. That man you incapacitated before I arrived could counter the Sharingan. The alarm was going off and it seemed that you arrived shortly after a quick brawl between Choojoo's men and the security. I assume it was a very short fight."

"You know, I was shocked to see you appear there. I figured you would be waking up sometime in the morning," Sakura laughed a little. "You took a soldier pill, didn't you? You look terrible."

Kakashi nodded slightly and closed his eyes again, tucking his hands under his head in his usual lazy way. His voice sounded weak, even to himself. "Anyway, Sand was aware of Stone's attack and had already countered most of what was coming. The scroll was important, but not anything they couldn't have managed without. It's all over."

"Seriously?"

"That's what I said when I heard."

Sakura managed to lift a hand to tap her forehead lightly, then hissed an "ouch."

"Shin was okay. I guess he had his marbles rearranged by Choojoo before you arrived. And we got lucky, actually. They had a staff doctor on at the casino. Apparently, people have heart attacks there all the time. He stopped your bleeding so we could bring you back."

"We?"

"A group of Sand-nins arrived shortly after our fight with Kankuro in tow. He's got a soft spot for you since you saved his life years ago. They brought our belongings and helped carry you. We're at the Kazekage's residence. You've been asleep for almost two days."

"And you still look like shit after that long? Maybe you should have found a bed to sleep in instead of that chair."

Kakashi laughed a little. "Maybe not a full two days of sleep, eh?"

Sakura smiled weakly. "I can feel my chakra again. How did that nin stop it? I thought there were only three types of eyes that could see chakra. He didn't seem to have anything special with his."

"Oh, yeah. It was pretty unique. I actually copied it. He makes a chakra tie of some sort with his own chakra. It actually fills up an area in the affected limb and just halts the stream of chakra. Simple, but useful."

"Looking forward to trying it, aren't you?" Sakura laughed again gently.

For a few moments, they both lay there in silence, digesting everything that had led up to that moment.

Kakashi finally cleared his throat. "You know, just before you passed out, you told me I owed you two now. What did that mean?"

Taking a second to figure out when she'd said that, it occurred to Sakura that he didn't really owe her anything so it was a strange thing to say. She supposed in all the craziness before she slumped to the floor, it was just a stupid joke to lighten things. At the time, she hadn't really been thinking clearly. But it seemed like he knew what she really meant and was fishing to discuss it. "I…said that? I don't recall saying that."

"I assume that you meant because your shirt got cut, but I couldn't figure out what the second thing I owed you was." Kakashi turned his eye up to the ceiling and watched the fan turn slowly.

"Oh." Sakura bit her lip. "Well…remember what we were…doing before you passed out? You were going to…I mean to say that…we were…"

Making the bed shift a little, Kakashi jerked his head in Sakura's direction. "We were what…?"

Her green eyes widened, looking bright against the pink of her cheeks. "You…you don't remember?"

A hand went to Kakashi's face and he rubbed his forehead hard, shifting his headband. "The whole thing is a little hazy," he mumbled, looking slightly panicked. "All I remember were the drinks and the elevator. The rest is a blur. I was afraid of this. Did we…? Oh Hell, did we do something?"

"You don't have to sound so mortified..." Sakura mumbled back, seeing he looked more shocked than he ever had in all the years she'd known him.

"Did I…do something…to you?" All sorts of things filled Kakashi's mind. Images of them naked, all kinds of torrid positions and Icha Icha type situations crossed his thoughts. Was he bad in bed when drunk? Did he say something stupid? Did he leave her wanting? Was not able to…? Oh God, was he able to?!

Sakura could see his inner turmoil, his gray eye skirting around the canopy looking for some memory to jump out at him. Had she thought about it longer, she might have come up with something to say that would make everything right. But that perfect sentence that would make him feel better about being intimate with her didn't seem to exist.

Kakashi hated complication, and Sakura didn't want to cause him any. The budding flirtation and almost romance between them was so much of what she wanted to continue with, but his distress was a little too obvious. It was ruining the comfort.

"We…ah…nothing. We did nothing. We went back to the room and you passed out. I just got dressed and left. Even drunk, you were a…perfect gentleman." She smiled sympathetically, trying hard not to let her disappointment leak into her expression. Lying so close to him, feeling the warmth of his body where she had enough courage to connect them was just torture. But seeing that he wasn't feeling it at all like she did was worse.

With a quick shift, Sakura lay back on her back, sucking up the aches and pains of her joints, and closed her eyes.

"Why don't I believe you," Kakashi said quietly. His eye scanned her face.

"There's no reason not to believe me, Kakashi. Isn't it nicer to hear the answer you hope for?" Sakura opened her eyes and stared up at the turn of the round wooden panels of the fan, trying harder to feel the air they pushed towards her.

"I want to hear the truth. If I…did something I shouldn't have, I'd expect you to tell me."

Sakura sighed and closed her eyes. "You didn't do anything you shouldn't have. I swear. You were perfect." She yawned softly – purposely.

Hearing the lie in her voice, Kakashi closed his eyes as well and tried to picture the bits and pieces leading up to when it all was lost. Unfortunately, nothing came, just scattered remnants of a night gone wrong. At least it was all over and they could head back when they were ready. With a long trip home, he'd probably manage to get the answers he wanted…or didn't want.

As he lay there silently, Kakashi could hear Sakura's breath become a little heavier, slower. In turn, he just stayed still and let his own body loosen and slack against the bed. It wasn't long before he was asleep as well.

When Kakashi awoke again, he was in the large luxurious bed alone. The fan still moved overhead, but the organza panels on the other side of the bed had been pulled open completely. Steam came from an open door on the far side of the room from what he assumed was a bathroom.

For a moment, he couldn't get up. How long he had slept was anyone's guess, but the beams of sunshine had moved generously around the room. It was still dry and hot, but not quite so bad under the fan. He could hear feet moving around at the foot of the bed and then felt a light shift of the mattress when someone sat down.

"You're awake," Sakura said coolly.

Kakashi propped himself up on his elbows to see her fully dressed in her twice sewn shirt, shorts and skirt. A white towel draped over a shoulder, and with both hands, she rubbed the ends of her wet hair gingerly.

"Going somewhere?" Kakashi asked, cocking his head a little.

Sakura smiled a little. "Yeah, home. Did you want a shower before we leave?"

"I'm all right. Had one this morning."

"You mean yesterday morning." She put the towel over her head.

"What?"

"You've been asleep for almost twenty hours, Kakashi. I feel a lot better and I'd say you look a hell of a lot better." She got up off the bed and went back into the bathroom without looking at him.

Kakashi's eyes followed her long legs. Instantly an image of them rolling on a hotel room bed flashed across his mind. He'd never be able to look at her without thinking that they'd had sex and he couldn't remember. Nothing would ever be worse than missing out on that, with the exception of not missing out on it and not remembering.

Grumbling, he fell back to the bed, trying to get the ideas out of his mind.

After a muscle-soothing hot shower, Kakashi felt like he'd managed to stave off the "hangover" from the soldier pill. He hated taking them. They wreaked havoc on the system, pushing him to his limits for a few hours to collapse of exhaustion after. Rest, food and time were the only remedy.

They ate dinner with the Kazekage before leaving, and Sakura virtually ignored the copy-nin in favour of an excitable reunion with Kankuro. She'd glanced at Kakashi once during the entire meal.

After their small banquet and reunion, a group of Sand-nin escorted them to the outskirts of the protected area to a small village four hours away. Night was falling so the escort was more than necessary. The trek was tiring, but a train ride awaited them back to an area in the Fire Country within a day's walk to the gates of Konoha.

The entire day, from the time Kakashi woke up to the time they arrived at the train platform, Sakura had barely spoken to him. It just reiterated the idea that she was dealing with something that had happened and was keeping it locked up inside.

Kakashi wasn't one to force conversation. Naturally, he loved the silence and peace that the lack of discussion provided. Sakura was quite the opposite so it was disconcerting to him that she chose to be tight-lipped – ever.

"You've been quiet," he murmured above the noise of the people waiting around them for the train to arrive.

"Have I?" she said blankly. "Well, if you need to talk, you can ask me a question and I'll give you an answer."

Kakashi smirked a little behind his mask. "I thought you preferred stimulating adult conversation?"

"I think I might have had enough stimulation this week," she drawled, glancing sideways at him. Inwardly she thought that truly she hadn't had nearly enough at his hands and wished she could change her answer.

"Are you sure?" Kakashi said quietly. "Because I can give you some more if you want."

Sakura's mouth fell open, her eyes went wide as she spun around to him, but Kakashi was straining over the heads of the other people on the platform.

"Oh, here comes the train," he added, picking up his bag and smiling his faker-than-fake eye-creaser for good measure. "Let's go."

"Wha…?" Sakura's eyes followed him as he began to navigate through the throng of people, his white hair just above everyone else's. Seems he was quite back to himself.

Picking up her own rucksack, she stumbled after him, trying not to get shuffled too far behind as the crowd closed in around the steps to the train-car. She made her way up the metal risers and through the narrow corridors filled with doors to compartments, each with two seats facing each other.

While being bustled by other riders, she glanced into the compartment windows until she found the one with the lone Copy-nin inside, already seated. Sakura grabbed the flimsy door-handle and pushed her way in. Kakashi didn't look at her; his eye was already trained on the world outside the window.

With a quiet sigh, she tossed her bag up into the metal mesh overhang on the other side from Kakashi and then plopped down on the seat opposite him.

And finally, with a lurch, the train began to move toward the Fire Country and her comfortable old life.

"How…uh…how long is the train ride?" Sakura asked, finally letting her gaze rest on her companion. His elbow was up on the seat arm below the window and his chin was in his hand in a lazy lean while he watched the passing terrain.

His gray eye flicked to her.

She cocked her head. "How…long?"

He shrugged, and then yawned loudly behind his dark mask.

Sakura's face screwed up in dismay. He was ignoring her. Truly and completely, he was being pre-mission Kakashi again. Well, she wouldn't let it get the better of her.

"Can I have a look at that blue book? I assumed you still have it," Sakura asked sweetly.

With deliberate indolence, Kakashi turned slowly to his pack on the seat beside him, opened the flap and began digging his way through his belongings. He rifled out papers, clothing articles, and the odd scroll.

"Is that our chocolate chip scroll?" Sakura shot out, pointing to the one currently wrapped in his pinky.

"Oh, yeah," he said to his pack, and then tossed it to her. "We got both actually. Tsunade and Temari were exchanging recipes. Old family favorites, I hear. The Sand-nins found it when they went through Choojoo's belongings."

Sakura fumbled the scroll in her fingers, finding the desire to throw it out the window very valid. "Cookies," she grumbled.

"Pecan chocolate chip cluster bars," Kakashi mumbled. "Aha." He pulled out the book as if it were hidden in the depths of a trunk somewhere and tossed it leisurely onto the seat beside Sakura without a clear look in her direction. "Enjoy."

Sakura set the scroll beside her, scowling a little, and grabbed up the porn book. If he were going to ignore her, she would just do the same right back. At least a little reading would pass the time.

They only had one more night to spend in the forest and then they'd be home. How bad could that be?

Sure, already she was finding the silence difficult. Her mind kept slipping back to his warm hands on her skin, his mouth on parts of her that mouths didn't reach on a daily basis. The memory of his fingers hooking into her panties and what almost happened brought a blush to her cheeks.

She thought of waking up beside him this morning, his breathing quiet and slow. He looked peaceful and comfortable with her – just how she felt. She'd pondered how nice it would have been to wake up everyday like that.

Damn it all. It doesn't matter.

She flipped open the book and stared at the pages of people taking clothes off and clinging to each other in positions she never imagined.

Oh God.

It was going to be a long train ride.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter and to Icarust for ideas and betaing. More soon.