So, I finally UPDATED! The idea struck to me literally days ago, I'm like so serious. It happened when I was writing down all the crap I had to update, which is a lot. Anyways, I don't want to continue jabbering on and on. I'm thankful for you guy's continued support (despite, my last 12 chapters being crappy). So sorry for my mistakes. I don't have a beta.

Disclaimer: Dammit, I own nothing besides my pride and not even that! Wah!

Spider

Chapter Thirteen: Crumbling (Day 1/2)

Crumbling.

He was crumbling from every rejection, ignored answering of his name, the sting and jab of seeing him happy with someone else or in blessed solitude. His eyes stung with tears at the raspy chuckle of his. His body quaked when he came back to an empty room and bed. He'd had to force himself to sleep alone and even then it was for a few hours. His pillow was soaked every time he awoke to an accursed day without him. The soft material carried the scent of salt, despair, and the faint aroma of death and strawberries.

Where was he? He curled up into a deep ball. He still hadn't changed his clothes from that horrible day nor had he eaten a full meal. The food the idiotic dog had brought him, his attention strayed to the tiny unnoticeable corner of his room for a mere second, was there festering. He wouldn't eat. Not until he got his beloved back. The one who promised to chase all his monsters away, to be his one and only constant forever, and to be by his side for an eternity. Hot tears sprang up at his thoughts centering around him.

Where was he? He needed him like he needed to breathe. He was essential to his health. Without him, there was no existence or reason to live. He was utterly lost in the abyss of shadows. If he wasn't back in his arms by sundown… he let a pale hand curl around his throat and the other to pinch his nose while he held his breath. After a minute, his world began to steadily grow dimmer.

He knew he wasn't going to die. It was impossible to kill yourself by strangulation using your bare hands, but if he didn't have his sole attention and love gifted on him once more… he would find a way to end it all. He fell into the sea of darkness, it being a brief comfort from his suffering.

The name Beyond, on his parted lips.

Sirius was at lost on what to do. He had gathered Harry up in his arms attempting to sooth him as if he was a cranky baby again. Yet, no matter how much he cooed and spoke (pleaded) with him that everything would be all right he refused to calm down. His tears streamed in a never-ending waterfall, he kept repeating Beyond, Beyond, Beyond, like a fervent plea to the Gods above. Sirius was both disturbed and distraught. He hadn't a clue on what to do, and damn if he brought the boy back so soon.

"Harry, pup, stop crying, please," Sirius begged. He sat himself and Harry down on the bench. He had pulled Harry to an arms-length distance and stared into his puffy, green eyes still brimming with tears. Harry's lip trembled as he did his body and many other items around his person.

"Beyond, Beyond, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Come back! Beyond!" Harry wailed, "I'll be perfect. I won't make any more mistakes, just don't leave me!" Sirius winced with every word that came from Harry's mouth. What did that devil do to Harry to make him this dependent? He stared at his heartbroken godson resolving to break Harry out of whatever bewitchment that ensnared his heart.

Right. He nodded to himself; grimacing at the choice of words he'd prepared himself to say. He thought for a moment, taking his wand out as a precaution. He had an inkling that he'd have to knock Harry out in the next couple of seconds.

"Harry," Sirius tried again and to his surprise Harry quieted down. Although, small sobs still racked his body. "Backup's not coming back for you. He left you here, all alone, but you've g-,"

Harry lapsed back into another whirlwind of weeping and pleads. It reminded Sirius rather uncomfortably of the time he encountered a banshee. His eardrums had not been the same for weeks. Back to the point, Sirius could not stand to listen to Harry anymore. The pitiful sight was too much. His godson's face was a bright red, snot flowed from his nose like the Nile, and his eyes, oh his eyes, were truly the windows to his soul. The agony imbedded within them - Sirius didn't want to admit he caused any of that pain.

Sirius raised his wand to Harry's bent head, swished like Flitwick taught him many years ago. "Dormir," he whispered. Harry's eyes snapped shut, his breathing shifted from ragged into light and like that he was out. Sirius pocketed his wand and breathed a large sigh of relief. Once again, he picked up Harry in his arms, glad the sleeping charm he had inflicted on the dark brunet worked kind of like a dreamless potion. Harry's dreams would thankfully be without that demon poisoning him from the inside as if he were some parasite.

Sirius scowled in thought. He gripped Harry tighter as he twisted through the many hallways of Whammy's, ignoring the curious stares and insidious murmurs that encircled him. He made it to Harry's room in a few minutes where he met Alice who wore a scowl that matched his, accompanied by a stoic Backup. Sirius' nose picked up an acute sadness from the boy, but he felt no pity in return. Only a fiery inferno of anger. "You conniving bastard. You knew this was going to happen!" Sirius spat. "You knew he would be a mess from the very beginning!"

Beyond moved closer to Harry. His pale fingers inched toward his sleeping form but Sirius snatched him away. "You don't get to touch him!"

Beyond stared up at Sirius, his crimson gaze positively glowing. "You are a fool, Sirius Orion Black," Beyond spat back just as venomously. He stared at Harry for a few seconds before he exited the hallway, leaving Alice and him alone.

"He's right," Alice growled. "I warned you not to mess with Backup's anchor and what did you do? You messed with him. How could you?" Alice placed her hands on her hips, glaring at him. Sirius in turn only huffed. He moved passed Alice, doing a bit of wandless magic to unlock Harry's bedroom door. The wandless magic was nothing special or out of the ordinary, most wizards could do this and a couple of others. His sensitive nose immediately caught the scent of both Harry and the boy, they mixed and swirled together creating one heady smell of strawberries, death, and magic.

Sirius headed over to the mattress where two pillows laid together. He laid Harry in the spot that smelt the most like magic, figuring that was Harry's place on the bed. He did not need anyone to tell him the demon slept with his godson. The stench told him that. Sirius growled low in his throat as he pulled the thick covers over Harry; he could not believe that they let this go on!

He vowed he'd fix that. Oh yes, he would. He turned back toward the door, meeting Alice at the entrance. He stopped in her line of vision, waiting for the volley of questions and harsh chiding he was in to receive. "Go to Backup and apologize for whatever. Get him to talk to Harry before the damage is done," she said steely.

Sirius shook his head. "I won't do that."

Alice mirrored him, sniffing, "Why? You're making a giant mistake."

Sirius narrowed his eyes, frowning. "No, you guys made a giant mistake. You let that monster near my godson. You allowed their relationship to fester into this obsessive atrocity!" Sirius roared. "I'm doing what should've been done ages ago."

Alice shifted into a rigid posture. "You don't understand shit, Sirius. You weren't there for all those years. There are certain rules in the Whammy orphanage, and rarely do we ever establish rules. Why: because this is a home for geniuses. They all find loopholes and crannies to our words, but the rules we do have are strict they're here for our safety. One of those rules was created for them. I told you before and I'll tell you again, we've tried every possible solution but impossible things - scary, horrific events happen when we pull them apart. Leave them the fuck alone!"

"What sort of things?" he asked. Sirius already came up with several explanations. These people were muggles. They were probably astounded and slightly afraid of the accidental magic that happened around them without a plausible explanation. Sirius silently admitted that a young wizard's accidental magic was highly attuned to their emotions.

Alice shivered, her dirty blond hair standing on end. "I rather not tell you," she said. She bit on her lip and ran her slim fingers through her hair. "I don't mean to fight with you. They're volatile like this." She sent a last glance to Sirius before she made her journey down the hallway. Sirius on her heels, seconds later. Times like these Sirius wished he had Remus with him to be his more competent half; the werewolf had common sense unlike him and would know what to do in this mess.

A few hours later, Harry awoke feeling horribly tired and alone. He clutched his forehead as he slowly sat up, groaning. What happened? He remembered breakfast… and then… and then… and then… Harry howled. He recalled it all. Beyond didn't want him anymore? He left him alone because, because, why?! Salty water spilled from his eyes, he couldn't remember what had caused Beyond to say those horrible words to him. Everything seemed so perfect yesterday.

Was there a reason? There had to be a reason. Beyond was logical like Lawli. He wasn't ruled by his emotions.

So, what was it? Harry could not think. His thoughts jumbled together in strings of incoherency. Was he not attractive enough? Were his brains inadequate, was he too clumsy, too clingy, too everything?! Every sort of imperfection he came up with caused him to dive into a fresh wave of misery. He just wanted to be held again, to be right beside Beyond's side as he had always been. Why? Oh why, had he been so abruptly uprooted from what he once knew and was familiar with?

He rubbed at his cheeks, smearing his tears onto his wrists and lower parts of his hands. No matter what, he couldn't stop the tears from falling. He hurt so much. Harry let his hands fall to his sides where they wrapped around his midsection; he hugged himself and bowed his head. Beyond (a sob tore from his mouth) would think he was pitiful. Here he was crying like a little girl but nothing he did stopped his tears.

They kept falling. The door creaked open when Harry moved to rub his cheeks again. He looked up; a slow smile crossed his lips. Beyond had come back. It was all just a mean—

"Its you," Harry said bitterly. His smile wiped off. Sirius strutted over to his bed and sat himself at the corner. In his hands he carried a tray filled with a simple lunch of tomato soup, crackers, and a grilled cheese sandwich. He still wore an infuriating grin as if the world was nothing but daises and sunshine.

"Yea, its me. I was hoping you felt better," Sirius said. Harry raised an eyebrow at the dog-like man. Did he not notice the evidence of crying, the depressed aura Harry was sure he was giving off? His eyebrow shifted back down to his original position. If the doggy man knew that he was still sad Harry bet Sirius would use another spell or charm on him without his permission.

"I'm feeling fine, thank you," Harry said. Sirius grinned brightly. He thrust the tray in Harry's hands.

"I brought you this, I figured you were hungry," Sirius said.

"Thanks," Harry said. He took the silver spoon and stirred the red liquid morosely. Even now and then, Harry met eyes with Sirius, wearing a tight, almost stretched smile. He was still here. Why, was he still here? Harry wanted nothing to do with him unless he had information on his precious Beyond.

"Not to sound rude," Harry said politely, "is there something else you need? I'd like to be alone right now. It's… tough for me." Harry chewed on his lip and wiped some wetness from the rim of his eye.

"Oh. Okay," Sirius stood up. "I'll be back with dinner unless you'd like to join the kids and me in the mess hall…" he trailed off.

"Thanks again. I'll think about it," Harry said with a faked edge of happiness.

Sirius nodded happily, going on what Harry considered his merry way. Once he was gone, Harry pushed his food to the farthest side of the bed. He dropped onto his mattress and slung his arm over his eyes. He was so damn tired and empty, so very empty.

He craved Beyond.

That was that.

Harry refused to meet Sirius' glances when he sat down for lunch the next afternoon. He had not fallen asleep until two in the morning, and had awoke at 4, his body refusing to go back to sleep. Of course he did not eat dinner with Sirius, and the dinner Sirius had brought him, he had stared at it with barely concealed distaste. He did not eat dinner and only nibbled on his grilled cheese when his stomach grumbled loudly for a bite to eat.

His fork clicked to the side of his porcelain plate as he stirred his salad around, trying to make it appear like he ate some of his food. His dull gaze flitted through the mess hall. He sneered at all the normal, ordinary kids, laughing and enjoying life. Those fools! Head to head, pests, Harry thought, all of them were pests. Ignorant, weak muggles. Harry snorted, derisive. He turned back to his food when he heard the exclusive seductively sinister chuckle of his Beyond.

Who had made Beyond laugh? Who besides him caused his amusement? Harry twisted on the bench, zooming in to the farthest side of the hall where Beyond sat secluded with a small, blonde pig-tailed girl. In her hands, she clutched miscellaneous art supplies. She laughed and twirled her hair, giggling like a loon. She dared to touch Beyond's shoulder and to his amazement, Beyond did not flinch away, instead he leaned into her clutches.

They conversed quietly. Beyond's creepy smile (Harry melted with it) slid onto his face, growing wider and wider with every word-vomit projectile the girl screeched out. She was number four in the house. Her art was dismissible. She was not worthy. She did not deserve such an honor as taking his spot by Beyond's side. Harry's dinner plate abruptly cracked and his cup shook violently, sloshing the red liquid inside all about.

"Linda, tell me more," Beyond said smoothly. He looked interested in her. The way she squawked, the way she giggled in that disgusting way, even her ugly face. Harry hated it all! He crossed his arms and huffed, staring at them, willing Beyond to look at him instead of her. Yet, Beyond ignored him.

The girl talked and talked, decidedly about something dry. She was selfish. She was a nuisance. What did Linda have that he didn't? What made her so special to catch Beyond's eye.

"Linda this; Linda that; Linda trips and becomes a splat!" Harry muttered darkly under his breath. He could imagine her as a splat. No one would miss her. No one would cry, it would just be her and her stupid art supply. Harry made a face over at the snickering girl. Die, he thought acidly.

"Goodbye, Beyond. I'll see you in a couple of minutes," Linda spoke and Harry sneered. She waved at Beyond whom only nodded at her. Linda had only just left when Beyond zeroed in on him. Harry leaned forward with a bright smile, happy to have his attention back on him. He basked, more than ready to be accepted back into his arms, but Beyond leered. Harry flinched.

In an nth of a second Harry saw a one-eighty change in Beyond. The one he knew reverted back. "Pet," he mouthed to him, and Harry perked up. However, just as Harry was about to go over to Beyond, the spiky-haired brunet glared balefully over at him. He picked up his lunch and headed off to who knows where. Harry slumped back in his seat, turning to face his broken plate and toddling stained cup. He picked up his fork once again trying to ignore the pain that stabbed his chest and the tell-tell burn at the base of his eyes.

At the worst possible time, Sirius came over to pat Harry on the shoulders. Again, trying to spark conversation. "Are you okay, bud?" Harry honestly hoped that was a rhetorical question. He doubted he looked anything but okay? What was with this man? Why did he remain so dogged on him despite his obvious dislike for his presence? He waited and waited for Sirius to go away, but he stayed by his side, continuously patting him in an attempted pacified manner. Clearly, he wasn't being soothed.

"Harry?" Sirius called him. He figured he wanted an answer to his previous question. If yesterday were anything to go by Harry wagered faking happiness would not deter Sirius from attempts of prolonged contact and bonding. Exhausted and at lost what to do, Harry spit out the first thing that came to mind.

"Beyond."

Sirius did not look very pleased at his answer, but Harry cared for none of that. He asked and he got a response. Frankly, Sirius was lucky. Harry had been holding back his new tears for a couple of minutes now. "What makes him so important to you?" Sirius questioned him with a dangerous tenor. A stupid question, truly. Did Sirius have no sight or ears? Everyone knew the answer; even the denizens of Hogwarts could respond to Sirius and most likely get the answer right.

Harry cracked a smile and a small peal of laughter escaped his lips. "What's so funny?" Sirius asked. Harry giggled quietly and pointed to him. "Me? Why?" Sirius looked confused, he raised both shaggy eyebrows and scrunched his nose. "Tell me why you think I'm funny."

Harry giggled again and then became serious. "Your questions are funny. You asked me what makes him so important to me, right?" He received a short nod. "The answer is simple: he's everything to me. There is no living without him."