Chapter 13

When Jess entered the apartment above the diner later that evening he was surprised by what he met. A pile of boxes, some closed, some half-filled and some still empty were stacked about the room. Luke's possessions were in unusual disarray, stacks of books off the book case, dishes out of the cabinets, knick knacks piled on the coffee table in no certain order.

"What's going on here?" Jess asked aloud as he heard Luke entered the apartment behind him.

"It's…" Luke didn't finish.

"It looks like your packing stuff."

"That's because I am."

"And you pack either because you need extra space or you're…moving …"

"Jess…" implored Luke, facing his nephew.

Jess shook his head at his uncle and averted his eyes. "Why?" he asked roughly.

"Because I can't stay. It's too hard."

Jess looked at if he wanted to argue, wanted to fight and tell Luke he was wrong, but he resisted because somewhere in his being told him it was useless to even try.

"You have to tell Rory," stated the obstinate nephew after a moment of silence. "I can't do that for you."

"Okay," agreed Luke.

"I- I have to go," said Jess, even though he had just returned.

"Jess," Luke called after his nephew, who turned around at the door. Luke tossed him something and Jess caught it instinctively against his chest. He looked at it, it was a ring with two keys on it.

"They're for the diner. It's ours now. Do what you want with it."

Jess nodded in understanding, but said nothing in reply. What could he say? Then he left.

Luke went over to a pile of junk piled on his bed and began packing it into cardboard boxes, trying not to think of anything. Of the pain he was going to cause when he left. For a moment he almost reconsidered, but he knew he wasn't going to stay…

He paused in his work. He sat down on the edge of his bed and buried his face in his hands. He had no clue life would turn out this hard.

"Hey Lore," he whispered. He had avoided this place like the plague ever since the funeral. It was crazy, at least that's what he would have thought before, talking to a stone like it could hear you, like it could understand. But now, it was all he got. "It's…hard down here without you. I mean," Luke felt hot tears well up in his eyes, "I miss you. A lot. And I guess I want to say is that- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you away. You deserved so much better. I was lucky ever to even get a chance with you, Lorelai."

Luke cursed himself as a tear escaped his eyes, but he didn't wipe it away. "I loved you so much. I still love you. I'll never stop loving you and that's why I have to leave. It is too hard staying here with everything reminding me of what I lost and will never get back. It's torture! So please don't blame me for this. I don't want to desert Rory or Jess or Liz or you even though you are gone. But… It might be the wrong answer to this problem, but it is the only answer I can find that will allow me to still live with all of this pain."

Luke anxiously fiddled with the daisy, her favorite flower, in his hand that he had brought with him. He set it in front on her gravestone and backed up a few paces. He stared down at the stone. It seemed so empty and cold. He hated, but he loved it, he thrived off it. The little feeling that told him that even though gone forever, she had once been there.

"I'll miss you," he said, more mouthing it, barely any sound coming out for fear that he would break down. "I'll never forget you, you changed me. I love you. So please, forgive me."

Luke stared at his late fiancé's grave from a moment longer before turning his back to it and promptly leaving, not knowing, maybe not even caring, that it would be ten years before he was back there again.

He got into his truck and arrived outside the diner a moment later, where Rory was waiting outside.

"Hey," Luke said, a bit anxiously, as he climbed out of his pickup.

Rory nodded kindly in a return greeting, all the time observing the bed of Luke's truck packed tightly with boxes and suitcases.

"Um…" started Luke, none too articulately.

"Jess told me something was up after you hadn't for two days. But I kind of figured it out by then anyway."

"Rory…"

"You don't have to explain," she said quietly. "I get it. I always knew someone was going to give up and run away. I just always guessed you'd be stronger, because you already know how it is to lose family, but I guess all of that makes it worse, huh?"

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't," replied Rory, not harshly, but compassionately, or more understandingly, putting up a hand to stop him. "I said I get it."

"Um, I've been looking over the papers. She left you the house and her share of the inn-"

"I know," interrupted Rory once again. "Grandpa told me. He's been helping me out with that stuff."

"Rory… I don't know what to…" Luke gave a half-hearted shrug.

"You don't have to say anything." Rory approached Luke a gave him a little hug, "Just don't be a stranger." Rory backed away and went into the diner. She refused to say goodbye. She already had to with her mom, she wasn't going to with Luke.

Luke watched Rory through the wide diner window. Her back was to him and he guessed it was intentional so that she did not have to suffer anymore letting go.

All his things were ready. Some were stuck in storage, the rest in his truck. He opened the door, only an inch, before another voice sounded behind him.

"So you're really leaving?" said Jess angrily, not able to keep silent anymore.

"Jess-"

"No, don't 'Jess' me. What do you want me to say, what do you want me to do to make you stay, because I'll do it!"

"It's not that easy," answered Luke.

"I don't get it. Why? Why do you have to leave? I understand that you are heartbroken and grieving, but how will that get any better if you leave everyone who cares about you."

"I don't…know."

"I don't understand you!"

Luke paused before replying, "Neither do I."

Jess sighed to himself. Somehow that answer worked. Jess cleared his throat, "Well, call when you get settled down and if you ever need anything…"

"I know, Jess," Luke said with a sad smile.

Jess shrugged one shoulder. "I guess I understand a little bit about the need to run away. But I know it doesn't really help either."

"I have to figure that out for myself."

Jess nodded in understanding, "Bye, Luke."

"Good bye."

Luke climbed into his truck a turned the key in the ignition, revving up the pickup. He got into gear and pressed the accelerator lightly with his foot. He was stopped by the lone red light in Stars Hollow. He glanced in his mirror to see the face of the diner, the sign shaped like a coffee cup carrying his name, Williams Hardware sign, and the large glass windows so glared from this angle he couldn't see a single thing inside. No one was standing outside.

This place had been his home, his father's home, his grandfather's home and so forth. It was where his parent's were buried. Why he couldn't abandon the hardware sign after all these years. It was where his sister and nephew eventually returned to, even after all the bad times. It was where he fell in love and had his heartbroken. It was where he grew up and… it was where he died. All of his life Luke had never seen any potential outside of this little crazy town that he shared a love-hate relationship with, until he lost everything that made it special.

The light turned green and Luke turned his attention to the road ahead, not glancing back again.

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on

- "I'm Moving On" Rascall Flatts

End of Part I

But Wait! Do not fret. There are yet more chapters for this story, but they will be in part two, ten years later. It is all the same story though.