Okay guys. I couldn't wait until seventy-five reviews to post this chapter. I was crying while I was writing it. Sob. I hope you like it.

Chapter Thirteen: Gone

BPOV

"Bella, make me immortal," Edward said, out of breath from the kissing.

"What?" I gasped, actually confused. I could sometimes never understand Edward. It was so annoying.

"Make me a vampire," he clarified as he pulled his mouth back to mine. I took in a deep breath and he began to kiss me again. He kissed every part of my mouth, my cheeks, my nose, my chin. I breathed in his cinnamon and ginger scent and kissed him back, with every part of my body. He broke away, gasping for air again and I moved down to his throat, his bare chest with his perfect muscles underneath a white sheet of skin.

"Edward, I…" I said, but he pulled my mouth back to his, and we continued kissing. He finally made it through all of the buttons on his shirt and shed it off onto the floor of his room. I felt my hands move involuntarily over his smooth and perfect chest. This felt right. This was real. I couldn't give up this opportunity, this gift of love.

But I had to. If we went too far, I knew that I could never redeem myself. Edward would get hurt. Edward would be in pain. I could kill him. But how desperately I wanted this to happen! I knew that there was no danger to me. No birth control to deal with, even if I actually wanted a child, like Rosalie. I was completely stuck and frozen at seventeen. Unable to bear a child, no matter how much I wanted to.

"Just feel, Bella. Be yourself," Edward whispered into my ear, his warm hands placed over my dead heart. I shed my raspberry-colored shirt, unthinkingly. Then I suddenly realized what I was doing, once the shirt was lying on the ground of Edward's bedroom. No! I couldn't do this now! I wouldn't be able to control myself! But…I had never tried before, the less sane part of my brain whispered. I felt as if I was suddenly two people, two halves of the same person. The less noble half and the uptight vampire half. I somehow had to choose, somehow had to decide which one I would become. This decision would affect my relationship, one way or the other.

If I chose the uptight vampire half and refused Edward, he would be upset and angry with me. And I desperately wanted him. Forever. It would be hurting in a non-physical way. He wouldn't get physical pain, but his feelings would be hurt. Yet, if I chose the less noble half, I could hurt him. I could harm my beautiful Edward, the very least being many bruises. I didn't even want to think about the worst that could happen to my Edward.

I could feel Edward sighing and bending his body against mine, tracing circles around my belly button with his warm fingers. And I was still completely undecided. How could I choose? This was 

impossible. Too much for one person, well, one vampire, I mentally corrected, to handle. Way too much.

We were both shirtless now, Edward's white skin almost glowed in the darkness of the room. I wondered why it was dark. Then I realized that he had never opened the curtains. Plus, it was cloudy outside anyways. I guess we weren't doing homework today after all. Oh well. I could always do his homework for him. If I did turn him into a vampire, he would go through school many times. It wouldn't matter. Then I wondered why I was thinking about such stupid things right now, when I should have been trying to stop myself from having sex with Edward. It was the middle of the day for crying out loud! But then again, Edward and I weren't exactly the most normal couple. I laughed in my head, soundlessly. Then, I turned my attention back to the problem, or blessing, depending on how you look at it, at hand.

Edward slid his hand under the lace backing of my bra, toying with the strap, yet never once moving his mouth from mine. He gently unclasped the hooks with his warm fingers. "Edward," I tried once more, knowing that I was going to lose this fight.

"Shush, Bella," Edward said gently. He slid out of his jeans as I took off my flowing, short, brown skirt. Then the kissing of one another became wild and urgent. We began feeling each other. Edward, I sighed in my head, smiling. Suddenly, we were under the sheets. And everything turned into a perfect paradise…

EPOV

I awoke to warm sheets. That was weird. I had grown so accustomed to waking up to Bella laying beside me, her cold arms wrapped around my torso. I shifted a little. Bella wasn't in my bed with me. This was strange. I wondered if I was dreaming.

I sat up, a little too fast and immediately had to lay back down again. Ow. Head rush. I sat back up again, a little more slowly than last time, and looked at my alarm clock. Eleven thirty. I looked at the curtains covering the window. It was dark. It was eleven thirty at night. Shit. How long had I slept? Once more, I wondered where Bella was. Then I realized I was clutching something hard in my left hand. It was a mangled piece of paper. It was crumpled, probably from my grabbing it or sleeping on it or something.

I already knew who wrote it. I would recognize Bella's neat and beautiful script anywhere. I started to read.

Edward,

We should have never gone that far. I should have been able to stop myself, but I couldn't. I could have hurt you. I could have killed you. Forget about me, Edward. I needed to get away for a few days. If I come back, you will have to ignore me. We have to pretend that this never happened. We have to go back to being strangers. You will live on, leading a human life. I know that you will eventually forget me. And…I 

will have to do the best I can to remove you from my mind. But remember that I will always love you. You showed me something I had never experienced before. True love. True happiness. True contentment and bliss. My dead heart has never felt so much emotion, so much pleasure, so much joy. I love you, Edward. Please. Forgive me.

Bella Cullen

I read her note twice, three times. Five times. But I still couldn't absorb the information. I was confused. Why would my beautiful Bella leave? Right when we were so happy? I was sad. I was angry. But mostly, I was shocked.

I got up quietly and shoved on my clothes. I ran down the stairs, not even bothering to be quiet. I knew that Charlie would never wake up. Would never realize that I was gone until the next day. I would be back, eventually. I would be back once I found my beautiful Bella. Once I found my love, and talked sense into her.

I jogged over to my car, opening the door. I climbed in, breathing hard. I thought I was going to hyperventilate. I ignored it. I shoved the key into the ignition and started the car. I looked at the clock. It was about midnight. I hoped that I would remember the way to the Cullens house. I started driving. It took me about ten minutes to get to the driveway. I almost missed the turn, but I made a sharp right, just in time.

I drove quickly up to the house. The mansion. All of the windows were dark. That was pretty normal. The Cullens didn't need lights on. It was just a waste of energy. Plus, what would lights be doing on when it was past midnight?

I turned off my car and opened the door quietly. If anyone was home, they would be able to hear me open the car door. They could probably hear me breathing. That was a very strange thought. I ignored it, concentrating only on my love.

I didn't even bother ringing the doorbell or knocking. I just burst into the house. "Emmett?" I called. "Jasper? Alice?" A blur of white came down the stairs. It was definitely either Jasper, Emmett, or Carlisle. I was pretty sure that it was Carlisle, based on his blonde hair. But then again, it could be Jasper.

"Edward?" The white blur said, very confused on why I was at their house in the middle of the night. He stopped right in front of me. It was Jasper.

"Jasper?" I asked. Jasper looked at me questioningly. "I need to talk to you. Right here. Right now." My voice was urgent.

"Where's Bella?" Jasper asked, confused. "Doesn't she normally spend the night at your house? Why isn't she with you?"



I was silent. I knew that Jasper didn't understand what was going on. He gestured to the couch. "Sit," he commanded. I obliged, walking over to the couch.

"What the hell is going on?" Jasper asked. I tried to explain, without completely embarrassing myself.

"Well…Bella and I…" I trailed off. Jasper looked at me, probably feeling my emotions. The only emotion I was feeling right now was pure love for my beautiful Bella. He could probably guess what happened between us.

"Oh," Jasper said, a bit embarrassed too. I looked at him. Feeling emotions was probably one hell of a power. Good and bad at the same time. I wondered if Jasper felt all of the emotions of everyone else around him.

"Yeah," I said. And then I woke up around eleven thirty and found a note in my hand. From Bella." I gave him the note, which was crumpled in my pocket. Jasper read it, very quickly. Then he stared at me.

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I hadn't cried since about the fourth grade. I felt stupid, next to this immortal creature. I felt a wave of calm come over me. Damn Jasper. Though it did feel good to be calm. It helped me think straight.

"Where do you think she went?" I asked Jasper. He was thinking hard, trying to predict Bella's actions.

"You know her better than I do, Edward," Jasper said. "She didn't tell us anything. The only person she left some idea of where she was, is you. You're the one she left a note to. Not us. She loves you."

"Where do you think she could be?" I asked. "She can't go anywhere very sunny. Do you know any other vampires she could stay with?"

"We need to talk to Alice."

BPOV

Once Edward was asleep, it was the afternoon. Forks was very cloudy today, and it looked like it was going to rain soon. It would be a heavy rain, a thunderstorm. I knew that my Edward would sleep for a long time.

I ran down the stairs and moved the Vanquish to the street. There would be no way that Charlie could suspect that I was here. I saw the cruiser pull up the street. I ran back into the house.

I had just sneaked myself into Edward's room when I heard the front door open. I gasped, jumping out of the bed and yanking the covers over Edward's naked body. I grabbed my clothes and 

Edward's clothes off of the floor and ran over to the closet. I hid, listening hard, pulling my clothes on. Just in case.

"Edward?" Charlie called. I could hear the creaking of the stairs as Charlie walked upstairs, trying to find his son.

I heard Charlie open up Edward's bedroom door. Charlie peeked in at his sleeping son. I heard Charlie grunt. Then he walked back downstairs. I heard the TV blaring the score for a basketball game. Charlie was such a laid back parent.

Once I was sure that Charlie wouldn't come upstairs again, I walked over to Edward. I stared at his angelic, sleeping face. He was completely relaxed. A small smile played on his lips. He was probably dreaming.

I knew what I had to do. I had to leave. I had to let Edward be human. He was sacrificing too much to be with me. I couldn't deal with it anymore. He was willing to give up his mortality for me. His friends, his family, were all out of the window. Just so he could love me for an eternity. I was such a selfish brat.

I gazed at his face again, memorizing each line, each curve, each angle. I remembered the way his eyes lit up when he saw me. The way he smiled after we kissed. My favorite. My favorite crooked smile. I remembered the way our bodies fit together perfectly when he held me in his lap. I remembered the warmth of his fingers, the feeling of his gentle touch against my cold skin. I remembered the way he told me he loved me. His quiet musical voice played in my head. Bella's lullaby. I wanted to cry. There were so many things. But I knew that I would never forget them. Edward was too perfect. He was too much for me. I did not deserve him.

I stroked his forehead gently with my cold fingertips. Edward smiled wider, his dreaming face beautiful. I wondered if he was dreaming about me.

I walked over to his desk and grabbed a piece of paper. It had music notes written on it. That was so Edward. That was one of the things I could never forget. His love for music. I wrote my only love, my soul mate, my beautiful, trusting, and loving Edward, a note saying what I was doing. I knew that Edward would not understand. He would not be able to comprehend my decision. That was best. Edward would eventually forget me. He would graduate from high school and move on to college. He would grow up, meeting another person whom he loved more than me. He would die happy. Edward would live on. Being human. Undisturbed by the supernatural for the rest of his life. Time would heal everything for him. I read my note over again.

Edward,

We should have never gone that far. I should have been able to stop myself, but I couldn't. I could have hurt you. I could have killed you. Forget about me, Edward. I needed to get away for a few days. If I come back, you will have to ignore me. We have to pretend that this never happened. We have to go back to 

being strangers. You will live on, leading a human life. I know that you will eventually forget me. And…I will have to do the best I can to remove you from my mind. But remember that I will always love you. You showed me something I had never experienced before. True love. True happiness. True contentment and bliss. My dead heart has never felt so much emotion, so much pleasure, so much joy. I love you, Edward. Please. Forgive me.

Bella Cullen

This was right. I knew that there was no other way. Edward had to be left alone. I could never bother him again.

I walked back over to my sleeping angel and opened his palm with my cold fingers. I put the note in his hand and closed his fingers again. I heard a thunder crack outside and glanced at the clock. Almost three in the afternoon. This was perfect. My angel wouldn't wake up until at least nine o'clock at night. There was no hope that he would catch me.

Yet I knew that he would try. That was why I would not tell my family where I was going. I would disappear off the face of the earth. Forever. I would only feed when necessary. I would never stay in one place for too long. I would be constantly running, never getting tired. Never thinking of him. Never thinking of my love. It would be too tempting. I would eventually lose the battle within myself and go to check on him. I would go only with my instincts. I would lose my humanity behind me as I ran. I would never stop.

But where would I go? There were so many places in the world where I could take refuge. I then made it my goal to see every country in the world. I wouldn't visit tourist spots. I would see the real country, for what it was. But I would always be jumping around. I would start with Europe, going back to France. Back to my birthplace. Back to the place where my brother was shot. I would find the spot. I knew exactly where it was.

I would find out about my family. I would try and find out who I really was. When Carlisle changed me, I never wanted to live in that life again. But now, I desperately wanted to know about my past. About my history. I wondered if some of my family was still alive. My great, great grandchildren. Then I remembered that was impossible. The line of my family had ended with me. When I was changed, my brother was dead. My parents were dead. But what about nephews and nieces? I knew that my mother was an only child. But I vaguely remembered spending holidays with other children who were about my age. What if some of them had survived and had had children? My family could possibly still be alive.

I knew that I had to start with Denali, staying with Tanya for just a few days, while I got everything in order. There would be no chance that Edward would find me. After Denali, I would run through Alaska and then through Canada, never passing through Washington, never stopping from then on. I would never come back. Never see my family. Sure, they would try and find me. But there would be nothing to find. Isabella Cullen wouldn't exist anymore. This was the closest to death I could get. I would take it.



I gazed at my angel's face once more and let out a small sob. Then I kissed his lips lightly. "I will always love you, Edward," I whispered. "Remember that." Edward sighed in his sleep, imagining my kiss.

And making sure that there was no chance that Charlie would see me, I jumped out of Edward's window with grace. I ignored the Vanquish. It wasn't mine anymore. Jasper could have it. He didn't have a car anyways. Eventually, someone would get it. Someone would take it back to my former family.

And I ran off through the forest, leaving my humanity, my family, and my beautiful love behind me, forgetting myself forever.

Tear…Review Please.