A/N: So I went to the first meeting of Addek-Denial Anonymous. It was refreshing. But I'm still in denial. It's so bad. I know. Alas.

I wrote this chapter at one in the morning. I listened to A Fine Frenzy and the Goo Goo Dolls while I wrote it. So if it's whacked? Well. My fault.

One final thing. I was checking something on Wikipedia on Derek to make sure he was Catholic. On the side, it had his relationships. Under Meredith's name it says ex-girlfriend /lover /soulmate. I underlined for effect. So uh, someone needs to take out that soulmate from Meredith. Put it under Addison's ex-wife status. Please…it's sickening.


These reviews are freaking fantastic! I wish I could give you all a cup of coffee. How about a really fluffy chapter instead? Good. I'm glad that works.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Meg and Kathleen smiled down at Addison and Derek, wrapped closely together.

"They look so happy."

"Especially Addison."

"Did they…?"

Kathleen pulled back the comforter and saw the outline of them beneath the sheets. "No. Clothes on. Plus, she's pregnant. And all my pregnant sex wasn't the greatest."

Meg said nothing but a smile played on her face.

"Okay, so yours was great."

Meg shrugged. "It wasn't bad."

Kathleen laughed. "The way I see it, we've got three situations. The first is that Derek crawled in when she was asleep. The second is that he came over when she was up and she…let him stay. The third is that Addison…wanted him to come."

"Do any seem possible?"

"Based on the Derek we know, the Addison we know, and the current combination everyone knows, no."

"So then, what is it?"

"Some freak accident? I mean, they didn't exactly look happy after their walk last night."

Derek stirred in bed and the two stopped talking. He opened his eyes and blearily stared at them.

"What the hell?"

Meg grinned sheepishly. "We were just commenting on you and Addison."

"Oh, dear God."

Kathleen smirked. "And we have to leave for Mass in forty-five minutes. I know you and Addison aren't exactly the most pious people, but Mom expects you to go."

"Can you two get the hell out of the room?"

"Careful, Derek, let Mom hear that kind of language, on a Sunday especially, and she might just kill you."

Kathleen laughed and followed Meg out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Derek watched Addison's chest rise and fall, and played with the ends of her hair. When it was obvious she was still asleep, he slipped out of bed and took a shower. He came back dressed thirty minutes later to find Addison dressing.

"You know, some people don't look this good in maternity clothes. But you, Addison, are an exception. A very gorgeous exception."

Addison laughed. "You think?"

"It's taking all of my willpower not to kiss you right now."

There was a silence in the air. Addison stopped and felt her breath catch. Derek hadn't kissed her, really kissed her, for months. Ever since she had told him about the baby. He hadn't talked about it. Minus the whole cheek kiss.

Without even realizing it, they were standing next to each other. Derek looked at Addison. They were both unable to breathe. Addison kept watching his mouth.

"Really, Derek?" Addison's voice was breathy and light, causing Derek's entire body to tense. "Because it's taking all my willpower as well."

That was all he needed. Derek quickly kissed Addison in frenzy. Her head swirled as Derek pulled her close, as close as humanly possible. She wrapped her hands through his hair, tangling them up. Derek's tongue carefully moved about her mouth. He didn't want to miss anything. Addison whimpered as he did this, and he pulled her closer and closer. It had been a long time since they'd kissed like this.

Addison brought her hands to the top button of Derek's shirt, unbuttoning it.

"Addie, not now, we have, Mass." It took Derek everything to stop her. Every part of himself.

Addison sighed heavily and broke apart. Derek leaned his forehead on hers, catching his breath.

"That was…" Addison trailed off. It was many things.

"Wow. I forgot how good we were at that."

She smiled. She hadn't forgotten. She knew Derek was the only man who could make her lose her breath and catch it in one kiss.

"But we'd better get downstairs."

Addison nodded. Derek grabbed her hand and laced his fingers through hers. The walked through the door and Derek stopped in the hallway.

"You should know, though, that there's this girl."

Addison felt her heart stop. Derek…was…Derek…couldn't have. She felt her mouth dry. She looked away from Derek. Tears met her eyes and she tried to move away, but Derek held her by the wrists and continued talking.

"And she's got beautiful red hair, she's a certified OB/GYN and neo-natal surgeon, and she's pregnant with my baby. And she isn't just a fling. I'm completely in love with her." Derek had a cocky grin on his face as he watched Addison come to the realization.

Addison sighed and felt saliva fill her mouth. She wanted to kill Derek for the scare. Her tears escaped her and she found her voice. "Really? She sounds wonderful."

"She is. I've never been more deeply in love in my life. I think I'm going to stay with her forever."

"Then you should know that I've been seeing a man."

"Yeah?"

"He's arrogant and cocky most of the time, and he really screwed it up recently."

"Idiot. Letting the likes of you slip away."

"And yet I can't help being completely in love with him. He's fixing what he broke. He can take my breath away just by smiling at me. And I think he loves me."

"I'd bet anything he's madly in love with you. I want to meet him one day."

"Maybe you will."

Addison and Derek both smiled at each other and paused, their eyes drawing them into each other. Derek touched Addison's cheek and she placed her hands on the side of his face.

"Well, if it isn't the lovebirds." Nancy came up the steps, looking at them in the hallway.

Addison jumped about a mile and Derek glared at Nancy.

"I'm sorry, little brother. Didn't mean to ruin your moment." Nancy smirked as she continued down the hall. She turned into her room and left Addison and Derek standing there. They walked downstairs into chaos. Everyone was in a flurry to get to the cars and to church so they could get enough pews. Addison and Derek quietly went out to their car, saying nothing to each other. But it wasn't their usual tense silence. It was just a silence.

Addison knew they were not fixed. But last night, spending the whole night with Derek simply holding her, had changed a bit. She just wanted to be happy this weekend. She deserved a bit of naïve happiness for now. And Derek was trying. He really was.

Derek tried to keep his eyes on the road but they kept getting distracted by Addison. They had kissed this morning. Kissed. And not the peck on the cheek that had happened a few weeks before. Addison had melted into him. It was one hell of a kiss. Derek really had forgotten how much her kisses could affect him.

As they arrived at church they slipped into a pew and spread coats over the rest of it to save the seats. Derek leaned close to Addison, his head resting on top of hers.

"Your hair smells amazing. Like…raspberries."

Addison closed her eyes and leaned back on Derek, her head fitting into the crook of his neck. Derek took her hand and their wedding rings clinked together. He rubbed her rings.

"I tried to take them off."

Derek looked shocked. "When?"

"After lunch with Nancy. I went back to the hospital we were at for internship. I tried to take them off. But it didn't feel right when I did."

"I tried calling a divorce lawyer."

"And?"

"I couldn't bring myself to speak. All I could think about was losing you. And our baby. I didn't say anything and she hung up. Addison, I know I've said it before, but I have to say it again. I'm so sorry."

"I can't say it's fine, because it's not and we're not. But right now, in this moment, okay."

As Mass started the rest of their family arrived and filled in the seats. Derek pulled out the hymnbook and opened up to the correct page. As he did, he couldn't help but smile. He traced his finger on the words. He saw Addison staring at him and he showed the book to her.

Written in the margins and on a blank page was a conversation he had had with Addison eleven years ago. In this hymnbook. In this same church, probably a few pews ahead or behind of their current position.

We can't serve chicken at our wedding, Derek.

It's cheaper.

Excuse me; my parents are paying for this wedding. Why does it matter?

I like chicken. This wedding? Your first of many? Will my parents pay for the next one?

It's too cheap. It makes us look like we didn't try. And no, my wedding. Our wedding. Will you shut up?
Chicken is a staple at weddings. I'm sticking with the chicken. Your wedding now? Our wedding? Which is it? And I can't exactly shut up. My mouth's not even open.

God, I think I hate you.

You're adorable when you're angry. I have three-quarters of a mind to kiss you right now.

We're supposed to be bowed in prayer. It would be inappropriate. And what about the other quarter?

Since when do you know all this religious jargon? The other quarter wants to do something much more inappropriate with you.

Since your priest just said 'Bow with me in prayer.' And Derek, we agreed. We can't have sex when we're at your mom's. It never works.

Humph. And that's not true. It worked that one time.

It's only a few more days, sweetie. What one time?

The closet.

Oh yeah.

You're blushing.

Asshole.

Cursing in the hymnbook. Welcome to Hell, Addison Forbes Montgomery soon-to-be-Shepherd.

You better come with me.

I'd follow you to Hell. Back too. The Devil couldn't handle the competition for that long. He'd kick you out.

Shut up. I love you.

I love you, too.

Addison looked up, tears forming in her eyes. These hormones were killing her. Derek kissed her on her hair, desperately trying to keep his emotions in check as well. Eleven years later, here they were. A little worse for the wear, but still Addison and Derek. And soon to be Addison and Derek plus one.

"I can't believe you found that," she whispered.

"Neither can I."

"I think it's a sign from God."

"So we believe in godly signs now?"

"This is the exception. It's something, though. It has to be."

Derek smiled and squeezed her hand while he slipped the book into his jacket. He felt a buzzing in the pocket and groaned inwardly. He checked his phone. Surgery. He was required. He looked at Addison. She looked disappointed. He stood up to slip out, keeping her hand. They got out to the parking lot and Derek stopped.

"Listen, I have to go do surgery. But I want you to come with."

"Wait-what?"

"Come back to New York with me. You can watch me operate then we'll go back home." Derek paused, letting 'home' fill the gap between them. "And then we can watch a movie you love and come back here tomorrow for the picnic aspect of it."

Addison didn't dare let herself believe this. "Really?"
Derek nodded. "You can stay here, but I'd much rather have you there.

"You're asking me to come watch you in surgery?"

"I am indeed."

Addison's face broke into a smile. "Yeah, I'll come with you."

Derek hugged her. "Thank you." He caught sight of her beaming face. "Thank you."

xxxxxxxxxxx

The ride back to New York went quickly. Neither ran out of things to talk about and they almost forgot about everything lying just under the surface.

"We didn't have chicken. I won."

Derek grinned. "My mom told me to give it up and have salmon."

"And you loved it."

"Yes. I just loved seeing you annoyed. It made the whole fight worth it."

"Can you believe we've been married for almost eleven years?"

He shook his head. "But I hope one day it's five times that."

"You think we'll make it 44 more years? Without killing each other?"

"I want to love you always and forever. I tried to divorce myself from those vows. But I couldn't."

Addison said nothing, just looked down at her stomach.

"Is everything okay with the baby? You?"

Addison nodded. "Yeah. Everything's perfect."

Neither spoke for a few minutes before Addison laughed.

"What is it?"

"You stole a hymnbook."

"But it's sentimental."

"But you stole a hymnbook. Derek, that's kind of bad."

"Well. I guess you'll just have to follow me to Hell now."

"I guess I will."

xxxxxxxxxxx

They got to the hospital by noon. Derek went to his surgery while Addison got a sandwich and sat in the gallery. He looked up and saw his wife smiling at him.

"Let's go, people. It's a beautiful afternoon to save lives."

For the next seven hours, Addison sat and watched Derek in surgery. She was patient and able to just watch. Derek didn't know many people who would do that. But she did. As he got out, she met him with a cup of coffee.

"Great work," she said as she kissed him on the cheek.

"Thanks. And thanks for coming with me."

"Not a problem. I've picked a movie."

"Oh yeah? What is it?"

"The Way We Were."

"Really? You are an emotional train wreck watching that movie anyway. But you all hormonal and pregnant while we watch that movie?"

"I know. But it's still one of my favorites. It's either that or An Affair to Remember."

"Fine. Fine. The Way We Were it is. But we have to stop at the store before we go home."

"Why?"

"Tissues."

Addison smacked him in the arm. "Shut up."

"It's true. We might need two boxes."

xxxxxxxxxxx

Addison hadn't been at the house for a week. Even though Derek followed her around, she had gone back to her apartment every single night. She entered cautiously.

"It's not different, Addison."

"I know."

"Do you want to change?"

Addison nodded. She went upstairs to their bedroom and changed into pajamas. She took off her makeup and put her hair up. Derek meanwhile called for Italian food and got out the movie. As he set it up, Addison came downstairs.

Unsure of what to do, Addison and Derek both sat down in completely different places. Derek stretched out and his toes brushed the end of the couch.

"Not going to sit by me, Addie?"

Addison smirked but was internally overjoyed he had said something. "Don't worry. I'll hold your hand during the scary parts."

She went over to sit by him on the couch and he arranged the blanket around them both. Addison lay completely still.

"You don't have to be so tense, dear."

Addison let herself fall back into Derek as he wrapped his arms around her.

"That's better."

Their food came an hour into the movie and Addison ate quickly. Derek watched her and laughed.

"I'm starving. That sandwich was not enough. Baby is hungry."

They had skillfully avoided the topic of the baby. They hadn't talked about it or what they would do or anything. Derek wanted to, but he wasn't sure if Addison did. And Addison wanted to, but she wasn't sure if Derek did. Right now, it was their elephant in the room.

As the movie ended, Addison was crying. Derek kept handing her tissues and kissing the top of her head. It was the only thing that helped her after she watched this movie.

"I was terrified that would be us."

Derek looked at Addison and saw how true that statement was. There were large differences, sure, but the reality was true. He had almost left Addison, pregnant. Surely, she would've found someone else. He hadn't had an affair, they weren't exactly thrown together by fate, but they had been growing apart and it had gotten to the last string before he had realized what was happening.

Derek kissed Addison gently on the lips. "It won't be us."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. I won't let it happen."

"You almost did."

"I know."

Addison said nothing.

"I really won't, Addison."

Addison knew he may mean it now. Even in weeks to come. But eventually, he would slip back. Today had been such a day with her and Derek. It was one of those days that reminded her immensely of their dating and early marriage. It's not that she didn't love it. It was just that Addison knew everything wasn't good. And she didn't want to fall into believing it was.

"Do you want to go up to bed?" Derek could tell she was deep in thought.

Addison nodded. She stood up and Derek followed behind her. Addison went into the bathroom to brush her teeth while Derek crawled onto his side, waiting. As she got out he went in.

Ten minutes later both of them were staring at the ceiling. Addison wasn't tired, she wasn't exhausted.

"Derek-"

"Addie-"

They both stopped talking. Addison waited and started again. "Derek, I didn't want this wonderfully perfect day to end badly."

Derek propped his head up with his elbow. "It doesn't have to."

Addison rolled to face him. "What do you mean?"

"I think we should have sex."

Addison was shocked. She said nothing.

"I mean, you're pregnant, yes, but we can be tame. And if we don't have any now, soon you're going to be very pregnant and then we can barely kiss."

Derek kissed Addison before she could respond to that. She couldn't think straight as Derek slowly moved on top of her. He leaned very close to her. "Do you want me to stop, Addie?"

Addison shook her head and Derek kissed her again, more passionate than before. Addison felt her body grow weak and she lost all train of conscious action and thought.

xxxxxxxxxxx

A/N: So. Fluff. Fluff. Fluff. It actually made me sick. I don't love fluff. So if you're like me, don't worry, I think our dysfunctional couple will be back next chapter. Because I did not intend this chapter to be so fluffy. I swear.

Uh, so if you don't hate me for making this so horribly fluffy, review. If you do hate me, review too. I need some enemies.