Disclaimer: The Pretender and the Profiler belong to their respective intellectual property owners.
Chapter 13
Parker sat on the plush, deep-cushioned sofa absently running her fingers over the buttons of the remote control. With trepidation, she turned on the home theater system and there, in high definition glory, was a scene from Rachel's and Jarod's wedding.
Dressed in a dignified black tuxedo with a red rose threaded through a buttonhole on his lapel, Jarod never looked so handsome as he was then, never mind the scars and eye patch. They only added to his attractiveness.
Standing next to him was his father, Major Charles. He looked the epitome of an officer and a gentleman dressed as he was in the formal Air Force Mess Dress uniform. He was beaming and holding forth with the audience as they all waited for the bride to appear.
Somewhere in the back of her mind was an observation that there were several cameras employed as there were multiple angles that she viewed. One of the angles showed the rest of Jarod's family. Margaret was jovial and smiling without the stress lines that Parker always saw whenever she came close to her. Next to her were Jarod's clone and, leaning a bit closer, Ethan, her and Jarod's half-brother. Lastly, there was Angelo, the once and future friend of Jarod's and her, a gentle smile fixed on his expressive face.
The view switched to the altar. Making up part of the wedding party was Emily, Jarod's sister. Dressed in pink, she was either the maid of honor or one of the bridesmaids. While not as ebullient as her father or brother, she also was smiling and giggling with the rest of the wedding party.
Parker was riveted by the ceremony on the TV. Belatedly, she recalled telling Momma that one day she would marry Jarod. She bit down hard on her lips, her eyes watering as her long ago vow crumbled in front of her.
She hastily wiped the tears from her eyes as soon as she saw the wedding party fell silent and started to move to their assigned places. The guests fell silent and stood up as the "Here Comes the Bride" began playing in the church.
Parker sucked in a breath as Rachel appeared at the end of the aisle. The bride was radiant in a beautiful white strapless gown with a veil that couldn't hide the smile on her face. Clutching her bridal bouquet, she was walked down the aisle by a man who was about her age.
As the two of them approached the rest of the wedding party, Parker's anxiety rose. Rationally, she knew that this happened five years ago, but emotionally, it was just happening now and she was outside the church desperately trying to stop something that shouldn't have taken place at all.
It was supposed to be her standing next to Jarod, exchanging vows with him, with the priest solemnly pronouncing them husband and wife and kissing each other for the first time as a wedded couple. Not Rachel, this…this interloper.
Instead, rooted to the sofa, Parker watched helplessly as the wedding ceremony continued. The man who was escorting Rachel handed her off to Jarod who gave off a dazzling smile at his bride.
Parker was clenching the sofa with her fists as she listened to first Rachel then Jarod spoke their vows to each other. They were traditional vows, just like the ones that she would have insisted upon for her never-to-be wedding.
Then she raggedly uttered out, "YES!" as the priest, Father Moore, ritually asked if anyone objected to Jarod and Rachel getting married. But as the video showed, no one objected. The rest of the ceremony continued up to when Father Moore finally pronounced them husband and wife.
Parker's body went rigid as the life was sucked out of her when Jarod carefully lifted the veil covering Rachel's face and they bent towards each other and kissed. A long, loving kiss accompanied by clapping, whistling, and laughter from their invited guests. A kiss that she should have been giving and receiving.
Fade to black. Parker fumbled with the remote control before she got the DVD player to pause the rest of the disc.
Distractedly, she dropped the remote control onto the carpet. Parker stood up agitated. She couldn't believe how devastating it was to see the actual ceremony. Since she first met Jarod, she always believed that he belonged to her and she to him. But Daddy and the Centre destroyed what, to her young mind, was something inevitable.
But it wasn't to be. One of her deeply held secrets was that one day she would wind up marrying Jarod. The only people who knew about it were Momma and Daddy. Momma just smiled and hugged her upon hearing her declaration. Daddy glowered when she told him.
It was shortly thereafter that talk of her going to a boarding school in Europe first became dinner table discussion. With Momma's death, what was abstract talk became reality. Years passed before she saw Jarod again and during those years, Daddy made sure she turned against the only boy than man she truly loved.
Seeing the kiss between Jarod and Rachel that sealed their marriage left her desolated. Parker knew she had to see the rest of the video. It felt like masochism, but more of penance; to see what her life choices had done to her.
Jarod had it all, she told herself. A wife, a house, a well paying job. Looking at his history, the odds were stacked against him at living the American Dream but he did it. For a little while, at least, until the odds decided to punish him for challenging them.
Hugging herself, Parker strode around the room working to dispel the strain of watching his wedding. It was just the start of the damn video. There were more, much more to see and to endure.
She stopped where she was and headed back to the sofa. Bending down to pick up the remote control, Parker sat down and press play. Sighing, she mentally braced herself for more wedded bliss from the happy couple.
The next thing she was saw was the reception. It looked like it was held at a hotel ballroom. Where ever it was, it was packed. She noted a lot of faces that she ran across while chasing Jarod across the country. Other faces she didn't recognize. She assumed that they were Rachel's friends or family members.
There were the obligatory speeches by the best man, Major Charles, and the maid of honor, Emily, than both Jarod and Rachel followed up by thanking everybody for being there and sharing in their joy, and the cutting of the wedding cake.
Parker cracked an unwilling half-smile at Jarod's and Rachel's cake cutting playfulness. The first thing she noticed was that the cake wasn't the traditional white. Instead, it was chocolate. Jarod's sweet tooth strikes again. And, in a twist to the traditional three tier cake, it was shaped like Cupid shooting an arrow through a heart. Parker would have bet it was Jarod who baked the cake. It would have fit in with his quirky sense of humor. Lastly, of course, were the bride and groom shoving cake into the other's face.
They were having a blast at their wedding. Parker could only envy Rachel. There she was married to a man she only knew for at least three years while here was the woman who'd known Jarod since she was a child and can only be a spectator to an event that she dreamt of since she was a very young girl.
The video soon shifted to the next excruciating act. The dance. Parker's eyes continued to mist. It was torturous to watch them. Their first dance as a married couple. An uncontrolled groan escaped her lips. This was almost too much to bear.
But she couldn't tear her eyes away; Parker was too absorbed by what was happening on the DVD. The song that Jarod and Rachel danced to was one that Parker remembered listening to before coming back to the Centre full time. Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" provided the mood for what Jarod and Rachel felt towards each other. Jarod had his black gloved left hand on Rachel's waist while his other hand was upright holding her left hand. Rachel's right hand was holding a handful of the bridal train. They slowly danced with a happy and appreciative audience quietly cheering them on.
Listening to the lyrics, Parker's emotional dams finally burst. She sat there body shaking, sobbing in agony. An agony that was much, much worse than the loss of her mother and Thomas.
The lyrics finally made her understand what Rachel meant to Jarod. After seeing this, did she even have a chance to have Jarod look at her, treat her, and love her like he did with Rachel? Or, would she wind up a spinster, forever pining away for a lost love? Parker already knew one thing; she would never love another man. All of them would pale next to Jarod.
Wracked by her sobbing, she missed the other scenes that appeared on the TV. Only after she stopped crying did she went back to where she left off and watched the rest of the DVDs, with red eyes and a stuffy nose providing the only distractions to the pained atmosphere of the room.
Once their song finished, the couple stopped dancing and commenced to the next wedding tradition. The throwing of the bouquet and garter.
With Margaret and Major Charles exhortations, all the single women were grouped together while Rachel had her back turned to them. After giving two false starts, much to laughing objections, Rachel finally threw it and a young girl caught it. She was Billie Vaughn aka Dupree. Parker remembered that one case where Jarod posed as a pool hustler and proved that Billie's father was murdered by another pool hustler who was also a racist.
Next, it was Jarod. Once he was done making a show of pulling the garter off Rachel's left leg, he tossed it over his head to the bachelors. Some of them quickly moved away from the garter as soon as it was in the air, while the rest jostled to get it. The lucky bachelor who got it was Jarod's clone. Parker's eyes glowed with warmth as she hoped that he did have a girlfriend or even a fiancé. It would be wonderful to have something nice happen to him.
Parker couldn't help but recall the first time she encountered Jarod's clone. It was jarring to see him sitting in that cell in Donoterase. It was like she was in a time warp and transported back to when Jarod was a teenager. Unchanged and looking at her with the same eyes full of curiosity and wonder. The same boy who worshipped her and was her best friend at that age.
What was his name? she wondered. Who chose it? Him? Or, someone else? She could see Jarod going up to his brother/son/clone and giving a firm handshake and a hug. They were both laughing at whatever Jarod whispered into his ear. Then the rest of the bachelors began pounding the clone's back, shouting congratulations, and whistling.
Finally, the end was here. The shot showed the newly married couple leaving the hotel under a shower of rice and a final round of applause, cheers, and clapping. Parker watched as Jarod held the front passenger door open for his bride to enter, then closing it, to go over to the other side and got behind the steering wheel.
With a blare of the car horn and their arms waving from the windows of their BMW, the scene ended with the camera focused on the signed taped to the trunk of their car.
"We're Married!"
Jarod stopped at an Appleby's to pick up the order he called earlier. With that chore done, he drove at a leisurely pace. He needed some time to brace himself for another of Parker's outbursts.
He frowned slightly. With the day almost over, Jarod hoped that whatever set off Parker this morning, her temper would cool off and they can go back to their uneasy co-existence. But he knew that Parker could carry a grudge so he didn't give too much odds of her being nice and welcoming when he got home.
Still, shrugging his shoulders unconsciously, he can hope.
As he entered the kitchen and put down their dinner on the small kitchen table, Jarod was surprised that Parker wasn't there to greet him, or more realistically, snarling and hissing at him for his latest sin, imagined or real, of pissing her off.
Puzzled, he went off in search of her. He checked the bedrooms, making sure the one that was locked was still locked, and was heading off to check the living room when he paused to poke his head into the entertainment room.
There she was. Sitting in front of the TV with a blue screen displayed on it. Motionless.
Jarod sighed. Silently watching her, he half expected something like this would happen but wasn't sure because he wouldn't, couldn't sim Parker. But now that it did happen, he straightened himself and walked into the room, eyes fixed on the rigid figure in front of him.
Turning off the TV and the home theater system, Jarod turned and stood directly before her, noticing that she had a faraway look, seeing something that only she can see. He waited momentarily, hoping that Parker would come out of her trance-like state upon seeing him in front of her.
He couldn't imagine what went through Maureen's mind as she sat there watching his wedding ceremony. From her stock still stance, Jarod figured something in it was too much for her.
A few moments elapsed and then Jarod slowly kneeled in front of her. Looking directly into her hypnotic steel blue-gray eyes, his heart always beating a little faster upon seeing them, no flare of recognition appeared.
Softly, Jarod spoke to her. "Maureen? Are you alright?"
No response. "Parker?"
Again, no response.
Leaning forward, grasping her shoulders, Jarod gently shook her. Suddenly, her eyes started blinking again and, observing her, saw Parker focusing her gaze on him. "Jarod, wha-. Back so soon?"
Quizzically, Jarod raised his eyebrows. "It's just after 7pm, Maureen. I got our dinner in the kitchen."
Parker looked at him dazedly. "Oh, uh…" She was speechless. If Jarod had ask her how long had she been sitting there, she wouldn't have been able to provide him with an answer. Nor, would she be eager to tell him what she was thinking about after watching the last DVD.
She would have been mortified, if not appalled, to tell him that she was substituting herself in Rachel's place throughout the wedding ceremony and the reception afterwards.
How Jarod would react to that, she didn't want to find out.
Seeing that she was flustered, Jarod stood up and offered her his hand. A small reassuring smile appeared on his scarred face. "C'mon, Maureen. Let's eat." He hoped that with a full stomach will help calm her nerves and he can find out what on the videos got her in this state of mind.
Grateful for the graceful excuse to get her mish mash emotions back under control, Parker took his proffered hand and stood up.
There they stood, just like in the past, and the few times since she showed up at his house, too near to each other, looking into each other's eyes, feeling the heat given off by the other, hearts fluttering, throats constricting, and inhaling the other's intoxicating scent.
Both of them felt the electric tingle coursing through their arms as they held hands. Neither wanted to let go. Instead, the two of them silently delighted in the sensual touch of the other.
Jarod and Parker were aware that this was another one of their "moments". Only this time, it was Parker who decided to end it by letting go of his hand and brushing past him. "Dinner's getting cold," she remarked in passing.
"Yeah," Jarod breathed out, trailing behind her.
After dinner, both of them wound up in Jarod's office. Parker was sitting tensely on one of the leather armchairs with Jarod sitting in an identical one facing her.
Not wanting to dance around the topic, Jarod went to the heart of the matter. "You were bothered by the dvds," he flatly declared. "What was it? What can I do to help?"
Parker gave Jarod a guarded look. She was upset that Jarod saw her in the state that she was in after watching his wedding. She was further upset that he was on his best behavior after rousing her from her trance as though she was a fragile item to be handled delicately.
"I'm fine," she lied. She was emotionally hurting and was damn if she would let Jarod see it.
"No, you're not," Jarod said, giving her a knowing look. He cocked his head closer to Parker. "In hindsight, I made a mistake in letting you watch those dvds, Parker. I didn't mean to hurt you."
"You didn't hurt me," Parker hurriedly assured him, her pride flaring. This wasn't what she was expecting. "I'm honored that you would actually let me see them." This part she wasn't lying.
Jarod nodded in acknowledgement but he wasn't to be deterred or fooled. Something disturbed her and he was going to find out it was even if it took all night and preventing Parker from storming out of his office. "You still haven't told me what disturbed you, or, is it more in the manner of pissing you off?" he asked, bringing the topic back front and center.
Parker heaved a frustrated groan. "It's everything, okay," waving her hands in the air. She stood up and looked down at Jarod. She faltered for a moment as she saw the care and concern in his hypnotic brown eye. No matter that he lost one eye, his remaining one still drew her in. "It just reminded me of what I missed out on."
Sudden clarity appeared on Jarod's face. It turned out to be wrong though. "Thomas," understanding and sadness showing in his voice.
No, not Thomas, you idiot, you and me, was on the tip of her tongue but she managed to restrain herself from saying those words as she realized that Jarod unknowingly gave her an out of her predicament. She loved Jarod but her Inner Voice was suddenly blaring in her head. Not yet. The time wasn't ripe yet for him to know how she felt and what her hopes were for them.
Rachel was still the ghost that haunted both of them. Until Jarod was ready to admit that she was really gone and that there was another woman who loved him just as much as Rachel did but differently then it wouldn't do any good for her to express what she was feeling.
Putting her rarely used Pretender gene to work, Parker stood up and walked over to a window. She looked out the window into the darkened front yard and the empty street beyond. "Yes, Thomas." He would have known that she was lying when Parker couldn't maintain eye contact with him.
Jarod stood up and walked over to her. Standing next to her, very conscious of the warmth coming from her, he tried to put her at ease. "You and Thomas would have had a wonderful marriage." He paused and then added, "You would have made a wonderful wife."
On guard against any traitorous feelings he might show towards her, especially if she decided to hug him again like she did in the FBI interrogation room, Jarod continued. "It was my fault that Thomas died and you had to go through such pain. I assumed the Centre had one last shred of decency left and would have let you go. I was wrong. I'm so sorry."
Parker watched Jarod approached her from the reflection on the window. It was all she could do not to turn around and embraced him. Then she felt him next to her. She closed her eyes, her heart suddenly beating faster, and her stomach doing flip flops.
The tingling spread outwards from her heart.
It lasted only until she heard the words uttered from Jarod. Yes, she thought woefully, her wedding to Thomas would have been wonderful. But glancing over Jarod's profile, she knew the marriage was doomed to failure the minute the priest told Thomas that he can kiss his bride.
She would make a great wife but only for the extraordinary man, in her admittedly biased view, standing next to her. Now, Jarod was here next to her, for her, trying to comfort her from something that would never have worked.
Using her left hand, Parker grasped Jarod's right arm and made him look at her. Peering into his right eye, she reassured him, "It wasn't your fault, Jarod. None of it was. Like you pointed out to me in so many late night calls and just now," letting go of him, "the Centre was always behind all the misery that we went through."
Parker's sincerity apparent on her face, Jarod briefly considered letting go of his residual anger that his caller brought up. She was in pain and he faltered momentarily in going forward with his plans for her for the upcoming weekend but considering what kind of hell the other person went through, Jarod's momentary weakness disappeared quickly.
Jarod rubbed his chin thoughtfully. It was a balancing act between anger and…lo-concern for Parker. Right now, he acted on his concern for her and save his anger at her for the weekend.
"You certain about that, Parker?" Turning to face her directly, he went on, "Daddy certainly convinced you, for a hell of a long time, that I was the bane of the Centre and, by bringing me in, the Centre would all be well." He gave her a tiny smile to take away some of the sting of his comment but looking at Parker she wasn't fooled.
She looked at him from head to toe as if seeing something repugnant for the first time in her life. "Tell me something that I don't know, Mr. Obvious-Man. I wasted all of my adult life believing Daddy and his lies."
Parker turned away from Jarod to prevent him from seeing the pain and despair on her face. Her breath catched as she felt him step right up to her.
"That's in the past now, Maureen. You got a new start in life, not with me," Jarod hastily inserted, seeing Parker's body tightened up, "but with someone out there who will finally see you for what you are."
Finally turning around, Parker stood toe to toe with Jarod. Ignoring the closeness of him, she demanded of him, "What do you see in me, Jarod?"
Jarod looked at her, noticing the curiosity and caution in her eyes. He let the silence build as he formed his answer to her question. "Someone who is compassionate, caring, and warm-hearted."
"You really see those qualities in me?" Parker's skepticism and doubt were evident in her tone and body language. Yet, in spite of these misgivings, she yearned for affirmation that she wasn't just the Ice Queen, just Daddy's little girl; that there was still a part of Catherine in her soul, in her makeup. Now, Jarod was affirming it and she was grateful for that fact.
"Yes," Jarod confidently answered her. "I first saw them in a little girl who befriended a lonely boy. She helped me get through some dark times," his voice turning sad, "until she went away."
Parker heard and felt the sadness coming from Jarod. "Do you believe," she slowly asked, "that little girl will come back from wherever she went?"
They were still close together, way past invading the other's personal space, and not noticing or caring at all. Both of them knew her question was something both avoided answering, finding out about, and argued over with ever since he escaped from the Centre. Now, Parker waited with bated breath for Jarod to answer.
Jarod knew the answer that lay in his mind. It was his heart that was still having such a hard time accepting though. Closing his remaining eye, he softly told her, "I can see her so far away." Opening his right eye to pin her with his look, Jarod continued, "But she's slowly getting closer with each step taken."
No words were spoken. The only sound in Jarod's office was the ticking of a cuckoo clock hanging from one of the walls. Jarod and Parker stood there, a crushing embrace, a passionate kiss away from each other, yet both stood rooted in place, held back by his suppurating wound of losing Rachel, her by her unwillingness to face another rejection by Jarod so soon after the last one, both by their shared pain filled past.
Jarod was drawn to Parker. Just like he did in those faraway days when he was growing up and she was the only star in his dark and grim universe. His rigid self-control started to loose control as his right hand went up and…
Headlights from a passing car briefly lit up both of their faces and, in that moment, the spell that bewitched both of them was broken.
Jarod blinked. Pulling his head back and leaning slightly back from her, he spoke quietly but sincerely, "When you find that special guy, I'll be the first to tell him how smart, tough, and caring you are."
"Do you think so?" she whispered, voice roughened by what she felt upon hearing Jarod's description of her. They were the last words she expected to hear coming from his mouth. She successfully prevented her eyes from clouding.
"Yes," he reassured her. Putting some more space between them, Jarod added, with a slight grin, "I'll even plan your wedding."
"You, my wedding planner?" disbelief in her voice. Parker cocked her head to one side and gave him a dubious look. With the spell between them gone, she also took a step back. But, she was extremely disappointed at a miss opportunity, remembering what happened in front of Ocee's fireplace.
"Um, hum," nodded Jarod, half-grin still in place. "Even though I can't get away with a lot of pretends anymore due to my rugged good looks," gesturing to his scarred face to emphasize his sarcasm, "this is something I can do. And," locking his right eye with hers, "it's something that I want to do for you."
She was inwardly pleased at Jarod's show of concern for her. A sign. Something that she was looking for, prayed for. But Parker didn't let on to Jarod what she was feeling. It was too early and their relationship was still fragile as evident from their latest bickering. So, instead, she told Jarod, "Thank you. I don't know what to say. It's wonderful of you to offer."
Jarod replied, "Just say yes, Maureen. That's all that I really want to hear from you."
"Yes, Jarod."
He nodded approval then shifting away from Parker, with her following him, they headed back to the chairs that they sat on before.
With both of them comfortably ensconced in the armchairs, Jarod asked her, "Did you have a chance to go through the photo albums?"
Parker shook her, "No, I, uh, didn't have time to look at them." In fact, she was embarrassed to admit that she forgot about them entirely as she was absorbed by the wedding videos. "I can look at them later."
Glancing at the clock and noticing it was still not too late, Jarod told her, "There's still time. Let me go get them," standing up. "I'll be right back."
Maureen waited until he left the room before she allowed the dismay she felt showed on her face. She didn't want to through another gauntlet of domestic bliss featuring Jarod and Rachel but there was no way to avoid this. What she had to do now was brace herself internally to see it through and plaster on a polite expression for Jarod's comfort. The last thing she wanted was Jarod to know that looking at the photos was like twisting a knife in her heart and soul over what might-have-beens.
She heard footsteps coming down the hallway then Jarod appeared in the doorway carrying the three albums. Parker put on a perfunctory smile for him and stood up.
Jarod handed the photo albums over to her. "Why don't we sit down on the sofa and I can tell you where we were, what we did, and answer any questions you might have," he suggested.
She can only agree and hope that this misery can be over with as quickly as possible. "Sure, Jarod, let's get started."
They sat down on the sofa, both aware of their closeness, and both pretending that another "moment" of theirs wasn't affecting them again.
"Which one should I start with, Jar?" Parker inquired, unaware that she slipped in her old nickname for him.
Jarod was acutely aware of her slip but chose not to call her on it. Instead, he pointed to the middle photo album which was colored green. "This one."
Parker took it out of the stack and placed the other two on an end table. Then she slowly opened the cover.
There they were just as she anticipated. The first picture that she saw was a simple one of Jarod and Rachel standing next to each other and smiling at the camera. "That was taken during my second pretend with Rachel's FBI unit and the first time I met her."
Parker quickly glanced over at Jarod upon hearing the wistfulness in his voice to see him lost in his memories. Another bout of envy went through her. Rachel was so damn lucky.
Bringing himself back to the present, Jarod smiled apologetically at Parker. "Sorry, it's been a long time since I looked at these pictures."
Parker took his apology in stride. "It's understandable. Don't worry about it."
"Alright," said Jarod, please at Parker's understanding. He didn't realize how hard it was to go through these pictures. Jarod thought it was an easy task to do since it was Parker who was going through them, not him. Ditto for the wedding videos. He wasn't sure how he would have reacted to watching them again. He never watched or looked at the videos and pictures since the day of her memorial service. So far he wasn't on a crying jag which was an improvement, he mused.
They slowly went through all the albums occasionally stopping for Jarod to point out something special about the picture or fulfilling Parker's curiosity about another one.
Pictures of Jarod and Rachel vacationing in the Virgin Islands, family gatherings with her brother and his family, photo opportunities with various senior government officials, the two of them on a rented Harley-Davidson motorcycle during one of their road trips, celebrating the holidays like the Fourth of July and Christmas, and their birthday parties.
It was the birthday party pictures that Parker got another answer to Jarod's mysterious past. Pursing her lips, seeing the grinning Jarod eating one of his favorite dessert, in this instance heavily frosted birthday cakes, she faced him and asked, "When's your birthday?"
A perceptive gleam shone in Jarod's eyes as he answered, "March 20. In most years, it's also the first day of spring." He threw in that factoid just like he did with those late night calls to Parker a lifetime ago.
"Must be a sign," muttered Parker as she put her head back down to the last photo binder that lay in her lap. She didn't want him to see the very small happy smile on her face. Another missing piece of the puzzle to Jarod's life was found. Now, a clearer picture of what his life was like or should be like was forming before her.
Parker almost got away with her smile but if she had taken a look at Jarod just then she would have noticed it was doomed to failure.
Jarod was observing her intently and noticed the tightening of the facial muscles on Parker's face. From his experience, he could tell by the body language that she was smiling.
He hid an amused smile in case Parker suddenly looked up. He didn't want to set off her latent volatile temper again.
She's changed. In the past, there were too many times when he felt she really hated him. He never was sure whether the hate was real or mere playacting. The anger was genuine though. All those merciless pranks and practical jokes at her expense were than enough to fuel her rage at him. Jarod made a mental note to apologize to her soon. Maybe this weekend.
He frowned which Parker didn't notice so absorbed she was with the pictures. This weekend was going to explosive. He wasn't sure if an apology would be accepted at that time and in that setting. Maybe later.
She noted that there were only a few more pages left before coming to the end of the binder. As she flipped through them, memorizing each picture, two things that were nagging back at her mind suddenly became apparent.
"I didn't notice until now that when I invited Thomas over for that Christmas dinner with Daddy and the rest of my damn dysfunctional family," a huff, "no one there took pictures of us? Which," giving him a grim look, "was damn unusual since there were always pictures taken whenever these dinners actually happen." Both knew that Mr. Parker rarely get together with his daughter for Christmas.
"What are you implying?" Jarod asked, already knowing what the answer was.
She told Jarod, with a sense of creeping horror, "I think Daddy and the rest already knew that Thomas was about to be killed." Parker wanted to hear and see Jarod assuring her that she was imagining some sick thoughts but when he didn't try to deny her insight, she knew it was real. God, her family was so sick and twisted.
Jarod rubbed his face with both of his hands. He was overwhelmed with weariness. Exhaling loudly before looking at her, he nodded. "You're right. When we went over captured Centre documents, one of them was a Disposal Directive signed by Mr. Parker for getting rid of Thomas."
Fury clouded Parker at this revelation. Betrayal at that monster who she called Daddy and Jarod for not telling her this. Hissing at Jarod, "When were you going to tell me about this Disposal Directive? I have a right to know this!"
Jarod looked unflinchingly at her. Speaking in a level voice he said, "This was the first occasion that Thomas was brought up between us, Parker," ignoring her request to use her first name right now, "I would have told you one way or another tonight."
Her fury was spent by Jarod's declaration but she was still repulsed and ill by the thought that she was a Parker. Seeing Jarod there sitting quietly, she rasped out, "Thomas didn't deserve his fate." Sadness overwhelmed her.
Jarod felt Parker's sadness and shared it. Nodding his head once, "No, he didn't. The only solace is that the Centre is dead and that no more people will suffer at its hands."
Morbidly, Parker corrected him, "No, Jar, you mean no more people will suffer at the hands of the Parkers."
Jarod was silent at this. Taking his silence as a sign of agreement, Parker didn't blame him. Her family was just a collection of murderers, cannibals, and terrorists. Who could blame him for his loathing of her family and the Centre?
A cloud of gloom hung over these two Centre survivors. Both thinking of Thomas, an innocent victim caught up in and eventually killed by the deadly intrigues of an evil organization.
After minutes of this, Parker, in an effort to change the mood, gazed at Jarod and with a slightly confused voice, asked him about her second observation, "Jarod, the pictures are just of you two. What about friends and, um, family?" Something was weird and she wanted to know what was going on.
Jarod paused gathering his thoughts before he responded with a wry expression, "Rachel was a bit of an organizer." He settled back against the sofa as the memories came back again. "These three," waving at the binders, "just show the two of us. There are others that contain the family and friends that you brought up."
She closed the binder and set it on top of the other two. Also settling back into the sofa and after mustering some effort she quipped, "Must be hell for you with the clutter and knick knacks that always seem to hover around you."
Twisting his body to face Parker, in a similar amused tone and silently thanking her for her effort to lighten the atmosphere, "Yeah, it took Rachel a long time to tame this wild beast. But I eventually learned my lesson."
With her body also facing Jarod, she rested her right arm on the top of the sofa back and cupped her chin with her right hand. "And what lesson would that be?" questioning him.
A pause, then, "An organized person is a sick person."
Parker blinked, and then both quietly laughed.
The laughter lasted for a few minutes filling the house with a sound that hasn't been heard from in over three years.
The laughter slowly died and both Jarod and Parker still retain traces of their smiles on their faces. Their bodies relaxed and some of their mutual gloominess slowly dissipated.
Seeing that the time was late, Jarod stood up and put out his right hand. "Come on, Maureen, it's bedtime."
Taking his proffered hand, she stood up. She reluctantly let go of his hand. "Thank you for showing the videos and photos to me, Jarod." Tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, Parker added, "Also, for telling me about my family's role in Thomas' murder."
He squeezed her left shoulder reassuringly, "You're welcome. I just wish that you're family…"
"I know, Jarod," she responded. "I know."
Closing the lights to his office, the two of them walked in a companionable silence until they stopped in front of her bedroom. Jarod spoke to her just before she stepped inside. "Good night, Maureen. See you in the morning."
Parker replied with a little more warmth than she intended. "Good night to you, too, Jarod." There will be more than just "good nights" exchanged between them in the future, she hoped. But for now, at least, she got a couple more signs of Jarod caring for her.
Right after breakfast Jarod informed Miss Parker about his plans for them for that day.
"Do you remember the spat yesterday about you being a prisoner here, Miss-Maureen?" Jarod inquired of her.
"How can I forget," she answered. "Yes. What of it?" They were in the living room recovering from the huge feast Jarod put on for breakfast. The amounts of food that they consumed convinced Parker that she can safely skip lunch today.
"Well," Jarod drawled, "I was going to show how to operate the alarm system and give a set of keys to the house but," shrugging his shoulders, "if you're not interested…"
Annoyance flared in her as the old instincts to snap and bark at him for the pranks and word games Jarod inflicted on her. But just as suddenly it went away as she saw clearly what was going on.
It was the old Jarod. Or a good facsimile of that guy. Parker breathed out a sigh of relief. It was an improvement over the sad, unreachable man that she was getting uncomfortably used to. Just how long her Jarod would appear before her was an unknown. But she hoped he would stay around for a little while longer.
"You bet I'm interested, Jarod," she declared. She decided to give Jarod a quick glimpse of the old "Ice Queen" Parker just for old time's sakes.
Jarod just shook his head when he saw Parker was giving one of her patented glares. If he were any other person, he would've been reduced to a quivering blob of jello by now. But he wasn't intimidated by it, to be exact; he was a bit amused because he remembered her telling him that she'd changed.
Any light hearted feelings vanished as he vividly remembered the other night when they had their reunion. He vowed he would never let her in again. But, here he was, teasing her, showing signs of caring for her, and bantering with her like it was ages ago during his fugitive years.
Suddenly upset at Parker's ability to sneak by his defenses, Jarod fought back to what he believed should be his normal self. Aloof, distant, a shell of a man who once lived.
She watched his transformation in silent grief and despair as it unfolded in front of her. Her Jarod suddenly pulling away, the hint of the twinkle that Jarod always displayed in his eyes back when they were both younger gone, and his body quickly stiffening and becoming defensive.
In a voice devoid of the warmth that was on display moments ago, Jarod said, "Follow me." Robotically standing up from his recliner, with Parker trailing silently behind him, he stopped in front of the alarm panel.
In a clipped voice he showed her how to operate the alarm system as well as the wireless fob that he gave her that allowed Parker to turn on and off the alarm from outside and anywhere else in the house without using the panel.
After demonstrating the alarm system, he made Parker go through a hands-on practice to make sure she understood the instructions he gave her.
Satisfied with her understanding of the alarm system, he put out his right hand. "Here. These are the house keys I promise I give you."
During the time that she followed his instructions for the alarm, she kept her responses to the barest minimum. Her heart ached for him. She wanted to comfort him, to tell Jarod it's alright to joke, to laugh, to not be afraid of feeling again.
It took her almost a decade to realize that and half of that time was spent in prison before realizing that she threw away so much precious years, hell, decades, trying to protect herself from people who cared and loved her. Like Jarod was doing right now.
"Which ones go where?" Parker inquired, holding up the keys to him.
Pointing to a silver key, Jarod informed her, "This one goes into the front door, the side door to the garage, and the door leading from the garage into the kitchen." Moving his finger slightly, he pointed to a bronze key, "This opens the sliding patio doors." Finally, tapping the gold color key, "This is for all the doors inside the house."
Keeping her emotions closely reined in, though she wanted to scream at Jarod to let her in, Parker pointed at the close circuit tv. "What about that? Are you going to show me how to operate it?"
"Yes," he replied. Stepping up to the table holding the monitor, Jarod turned his head to look at her. "These buttons, numbered one through fifteen, are for the fifteen cameras placed all around the house." He paused just to make sure Parker was still tracking him. Assured that she was by the intent look of concentration on her face, he went back to his instructions. "This," indicating the small joystick, "moves the camera once you select which one you want to view from and, when you twist the joystick back and forth, the focus will change." Standing up, he turned and asked, "Any questions?"
"No, Jarod, you covered it all," declared Parker. She watched as Jarod bit his lower lip, which she knew since childhood was a sure sign that he was debating something inside his mind. A few moments more than she saw his face relaxed. Jarod arrived at a decision.
"Are you ready for a trip?" addressing her in a aloof tone. Jarod stood motionlessly awaiting her decision.
"Trip to where," Parker warily responded. This was one of those times when she wished she been trained by Sydney to exploit her latent Pretender gifts. She wanted to know what was going inside Jarod's head.
Jarod saw the tightening of her eyes and couldn't blame Parker for her caution. But he kept his stern visage pasted on his face. He nearly let her into his heart and soul. He wasn't about to let that happen again. "To a storage place."
"Why?" demanded Parker.
"That's where your possessions are located. Do you want to go or not?" This was a one time offer as far as he was concerned.
Squaring her shoulders, Parker told him in a firm voice, "Damn right, I'm going."
They rode in his Lexus for the short drive to the storage place. The day was turning out to be another hot and muggy day when most people would rather stay inside in the comfort of an air conditioner than go out into a natural sauna.
As Parker unabashedly examined Jarod, much to his discomfort, she went over their shared history especially right after she was brought in by Daddy to bring him in after escaping from the Centre.
The late night calls, the clues to her tragic past, the skeletons in the family closet, the weird branches of her family tree, the stupid practical jokes inflicted on her, so on, so forth. Most of all, Jarod's efforts to break through her icy walls.
Parker now understood that their roles were reversed. She was the one who was trying to get past his formidable defenses and he doing his very best to repel her.
If she was going to switch roles with him, she decided she was going to imitate her one and only favorite Pretender. Starting right now.
"Do you think clothes make the man or the man makes the clothes, Jarod," Parker asked while twirling a strand of her brown hair with her left hand. She was dressed in a form hugging sundress with spaghetti shoulder straps, sandals, and, like Jarod, wearing a pair of sunglasses.
Jarod swiveled his head briefly away from the road to silently glare at her before returning his attention to the road. Even with his sunglasses on, Parker knew he knew what she was doing and why. He was dressed differently from what she was familiar with. A white polo shirt, khaki Dockers, and oxford shoes made him look like he was dressed for casual Fridays. A total reverse of the man in black attire he used to wore before bringing down the Centre.
She released a frustrated breath. If she can be called an Ice Queen, it would only be fair turnaround to call Jarod an Ice Dick. Unlike Jarod, however, Parker wasn't going to walk away from him and she wasn't going to ever make the same mistake again of some other woman taking Jarod away from her. Rachel was the only exception. Jarod belonged to her ever since she first laid eyes on him. Just as she belonged to him. It was her life's work now to make him realize that again.
So what if he shut her out, hurt her with his callous words in order to drive her away from him, and pretend, humph, to be a zombie to her in order not to love and feel alive again?
If she can change, no matter how late it was, Jarod can too.
He was not going to deter her. For decades, she suffered at the hands of Daddy and the Centre. Emotionally, physically, and mentally the scars, both visible and invisible, left their mark on her. A lot of those scars were the results, directly and indirectly, of hurting Jarod, inflicting pain on him and his family. To use him and dispose of him once his usefulness were at an end.
So what if the scars now inflicted on her were from Jarod. But she knew that these scars would be worth it and honorable. Nothing to be ashamed of. Unlike the ones her family and the Centre meted out. Because the reward, after, enduring them, would be Jarod letting her love him and him loving her. Just the way it was meant to be.
If other people, especially women, think she was a glutton for punishment or out of her mind for pursuing this battered man, Parker could care less. She saw the results of Jarod's good deeds during the "I run, you chase," years. They were the actions of a compassionate, caring, and decent man. A man who could have lashed out at an uncaring world, wind up like the demented Alex, or turn into a heartless creature who enjoyed hurting people just for the hell of it.
But he didn't. Instead, he still was the man she admired from their Centre days. She almost was able to slip by his barricades. And this was after just after being together with him for almost three days.
Slowly a shit eating grin appeared on her face. One which she bestowed on Jarod. Parker saw him react by momentarily losing control of the car. She ignored the careening because she knew Jarod's reflexes were fast. When he got the car under control, he again glared at her only to see the same grin still fixed on her face.
"What the hell are you smiling at?" he snarled. When he saw Parker with that grin, one he never saw before in his life, his hackles were raised and goose bumps appeared on his skin. For the first time in his life, he was truly afraid of Parker.
"You."
"Wh-why?" Jarod couldn't believe it. He stuttered before Parker's presence! He was losing his cool and he didn't know why.
"All in due time, Jarod," Parker told him with a mysterious air. Taking mercy on him, she let the grin fade away but the mirth still shone in her eyes. Pretending to be Jarod was going to be so much fun. She couldn't wait to make her first 2:00am phone call to him.
She turned away from Jarod and looked out at the passing cityscape. Parker understood that there will be tears, screaming matches, silent treatments, depression, and pain in her future. But the prize, after all the heartache and pain, would be Jarod and her together.
Glancing over at him one more time, Maureen Parker realized that her love for him has never diminished. Rather, it grew by leaps and bounds as she grew and mature day by day, month by month, and year by year.
A few more minutes of driving and they pulled into the storage place's parking lot. After notifying the pimply faced teenager manning the front office that Jarod was going to his storage locker, the couple walked side by side silently.
Jarod was perturbed by the change in Parker. Distractedly he walked by his locker before realizing what had happened. He had to turn around to go back to his original destination. Luckily for him, Parker didn't laugh out loud or made any snide remarks. Serene and confident about what her goal in life is, she enjoyed the silence as well as the affect she was having on the visibly agitated Pretender.
Embarrassed and angered by Parker he stalked up to the locker door and, after inserting his key, rolled up the door.
"Here they are," Jarod bit out.
Parker waited until her eyes adjusted to the murky darkness in front of her. Once she did, she gasped out loud.
A/N: I'm a big fan of Chicago circa Peter Cetera era. That's why the song is in this chapter. This was a lackluster chapter since the holidays, work, and my health were major distractions. I had hope to publish this earlier but it didn't turn out that way. The next chapter will introduce our mysterious caller.
If you're wondering why Jarod and MP are schizo with each other, it's because they're still off balance emotionally and mentally. It'll take some time for them to adjust.
I hope to increase the pace of my writing but right now it's turning out to be a chapter a month. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please R and R. Thanks!