The Horse and the King.

Chapter 12: Prelude to War. The SOS Dilemma.

----

With what's happening to Koizumi, Kyon thought, I have a feeling that sooner or later, Haruhi's going to figure out the reason why we're here in the first place. Why is it always me that gets the brunt of her weirdness? Not to mention that once she's aware, she's going to be a live wire.

Thoughts of panic had flown through the head of the young Duelist walking through certain areas. Apparently, he didn't want to be seen, yet Haruhi would always find him. Now he's starting to wish he never asked Mikuru for a way to adjust history as "John Smith."

"Hey, Kyon!" he heard a male voice say. "You look pale. What's up?"

"Just that I fear someone I know found out about something she shouldn't, Jaden," Kyon replied to the Slifer. "You know the one."

Jaden flinched. "I pity you, man. Besides, I heard about the duel between Ranma and Jinzo. Apparently, who Kaiba's trying to lure is using fragments from our pasts to the surface."

Kyon groaned. Not exactly helping there. "That means they could use anyone who would want us dead." And I fear Ryoko's involved with it. "And if possible, they could take the form of the dead, like Koyo."

"If that's the case, keep reminding yourself he's not like that. If anything, I managed to win another Locator Card from an old friend of mine."

"Dare I ask who it was?"

"My senior, Zane. Apparently, he's going as himself instead of Hell Kaizer Zane. He also gave me one of his Cyber Dragons, too."

Kyon was surprised. "I've only managed to grab one from Weevil Underwood, and HE was caught cheating. Which means I'm basically behind while you're ascending the ranks."

Jaden was smirking at his old friend. "Well, it helps when you have luck and spirits by your side. Besides, I'm wondering if you've lost your touch any."

"Keep dreaming. Back then, I could duel circles around you, but I'm waiting until the finals."

"THERE YOU ARE!" they heard a female voice yell. Kyon flinched in terror because he KNEW that he was getting the "Death Penalty." "Is there any reason why you've been quiet during the whole trip? And who is this?"

"Haruhi," Kyon said, "this is Jaden, an old friend of mine when I was in the hospital that day. Jaden, this is Haruhi Suzumiya, the SOS Brigade leader."

So THIS is Haruhi, Jaden thought. I can see why Kyon wanted to keep her in the dark about this, but considering her power's tendency to stagnate, I think she has a lack of control in it. "Nice to meet you, Haruhi," he said. "And Kyon's basically my rival."

"Rival, huh?" she asked him. "Well, do you mind explaining why Koizumi's out of the tournament?"

Kyon and Jaden exchanged glances, then said, "He lost a duel." They dared not say WHO beat him or the circumstances involved, or the consequences would be dire.

"Right, I forgot about the rules. But still, that doesn't excuse you from the Death Penalty."

Kyon groaned. "Don't remind me," he said. "But wait until after the tournament. I just removed the Parasite card Weevil planted in my deck before I dueled him."

"Oh, THAT Weevil Underwood?" Jaden asked him. "Yeah, that guy's not exactly one of my favorite duelists, especially after Duelist Kingdom. I kind of thought he died."

"Back to why I'm here," Haruhi said, "I want to know why this tournament is in progress. I've seen the first Battle City, and from what I can tell, something with the Kaibacorp Dueling System went haywire during the finals. Something's telling me that this version is for the same thing."

Jaden chuckled while Kyon groaned. They were aware of what happened ten years ago, but it was before Haruhi had activated her powers.

We're all going to die, Kyon thought. Her intuition is going to get her killed one day.

Now I see why Kyon was trying to avoid her, Jaden thought.

Before either of them could explain, someone had jumped in.

"Hello, boys," the man said.

Jaden growled. "It's the D!" he yelled.

The man, now recognized as The D, laughed. "I'm surprised you recognize me, Yuki. Then again, you're not the one I want to face." He then turned to Kyon and said, "Meet me at the abandoned warehouse near the coast of Juuban."

Kyon growled. "And why should I?"

"Because if you don't, your girlfriend will fall into the Shadow Realm for all eternity."

That was the moment where they noticed Haruhi was missing.

"What have you done with her?!?" he yelled.

"And you're working for Nightshroud?" Jaden asked him.

"Follow me, if you value your girlfriend's life." With that, the D disappeared into a nearby helicopter.

Kyon growled. This guy has no idea that he's signing his death warrant, he thought. "We're going to have to follow them," he said.

"But we don't know where the Abandoned Warehouse is," Jaden said. "And even if we did, it's on the other side of the city, which means unless we make a straight line, we're going to be diverted."

"Then you could use some help," a man's voice said, making both Duelists turn around. As it turns out, Yusei, Atem, Aki, and Ranma were in the area. "Sorry we're late, but we kind of owe Mr. Goodshow a favor."

"You mean the Head Esper?" Kyon asked them.

"For the record," Yusei said, "I prefer the Signers. Besides, it's kind of important for you and Haruhi to remain in the same plane or else existence will become nothingness."

Kyon growled. "Lead the way."

"Not just yet," they heard a man yell. Apparently, Ryoga and Nabiki were riding with a man in a cross between a motorcycle and a wheel. "Whoever this D guy is, it's not the first time he's killed someone."

"What do you mean by that?" Ranma asked him.

"He means that if Kyon loses," Jaden replied, "not only will Haruhi be sent to the Shadow Realm, but he'll die by his hands. Just like Aster's father."

That brought a reaction out of them.

"Then we're dealing with more than just a simple kidnapping," Aki said. "They must be willing to risk everyone in the WORLD in order to pull something like THAT off."

Kyon frowned. "If anything, I'm not just saving Haruhi. And Jack Atlas, I presume?"

"Second Signer," Jack said. "We're bringing in Crow, Leo, and Luna in as a last resort."

"Crow's one of our old teammates," Yusei said. "Leo and Luna are twins, but Luna has the trait while Leo's the better Duelist."

"At least there aren't any eliminators involved," Jaden said. "Lead the way."

"Hop on," Yusei said, activating the D-Runner's Sidecars. "This is basically for tag-team dueling, and it's still in the testing stage. I'm not sure if I can fit everyone in there, though…"

"We'll make do," Atem said. "Right now, just head towards the Warehouse."

As they rode on, no one else noticed the Avatar watching.

"They may be brave," he said, "but they'll need some help. If The D's working for Nightshroud, then he's on my hit list."

With that, a green D-Runner in a design similar to Yusei's only with the Poker Card Suits in different colors (gold spade, red heart, black diamond, and blue club) appeared. The Avatar himself hopped on it and rode towards their location.

The game is set. All I need to do is unlock the last Rider. Then, and only then will I show my face. The diamond parted to reveal the ice-blue eyes of his Haou heritage.

----

When they got there, the Duel Runners were parked to the side.

"This is the abandoned warehouse?" Kyon asked them.

"It was only used once," Ryoga said. "I don't know the full details, but it involved a battle involving weapons that stemmed from the heart."

Ranma gave his rival a knowing look. "You got lost and ended up here sometime ago, didn't you?"

"More or less."

"Then we're basically in the dark."

"Not necessarily," Atem said. "Her composition's similar to that of the Egyptian God Cards, so I'll be leading the way."

"Good luck," they all heard a familiar voice say. Apparently, the Avatar had caught up with them. "From what I can see, the place is FILLED with Duel Youma, so he might have been expecting some company."

"Who is this?" Nabiki asked Ranma. "Another one of your rivals?"

"Fortunately, no," he replied. "Just a guy who's been watching certain duels, one of them involving Happosai and Gin here."

Atem recognized him. "I see," he said. "But why are you here? I thought your main interest was Nightshroud."

"He came to the same conclusion I did," Jaden said. "And it involves Nightshroud."

The Avatar nodded. "Considering the circumstances, I'd say I'll be here for support. It's not my business to get involved with personal vendettas. Especially when it involves both Jaden and Kyon."

"It's not a vendetta," Kyon said. "I'm just trying to save the world from erasure. It's a complicated story, but…"

"We'll explain later," Jaden interjected. "If we wait any longer, we're risking the world's safety."

"I know." That surprised the two who knew what Haruhi was capable of. "In order to maintain a successful escape, we're going to have to separate into groups. One of them will have to save Haruhi while the others will take care of the Youma. As for Kyon and Jaden, they're coming with me."

"I'll get Haruhi," Ranma said. "The Umi-Sen-Ken is a cloaking technique that makes me undetectable to Ki-adepts. I just implemented it with the Shadow Magic to make myself undetectable to Haou in the process."

Yusei nodded. "I've got your back, Ranma."

"As will I," Ryoga said. "I may not be as adept as you all are, but at least I can hold my own in a battle."

"That leaves the rest of us taking care of the Duel Youma," Jack said. "And if there are extra Locator Cards, we'll be sure to give them to you."

Kyon nodded. "Keep to that promise."

"Looks like it's just you and me, Kyon," Jaden said. "And our Masked Man, too."

The Avatar was surprised. "After this is over, I'll explain why I'm in this tournament. And it's the full story this time."

With a nod, Operation "Saving God" was in effect. Watching them, however, were those who wanted a piece of the action.

"You know your objectives?" the masked man asked in a distorted voice.

"While Tragoedia and your Mind Slave go after two of the Avatar's Chosen, I'll take on Yusei while you deal with the meddlesome Duelist."

"Right, and the Duel Youma will get rid of the Pharaoh for us," the cloaked figure said. "I'll go for the one who has my other half." With that, the figure disappeared.

"Mind Slave, cross Ranma's path," the masked figure said. "With the cards I gave you, you'll be able to psych him out."

"Yes, Master Mu," the second cloaked figure said, leaving in a flurry of kitchen products.

Kiryu looked at the masked man in question. "Was it a good idea to send her in Ranma's path?" he asked him. "I mean, he knows 'Steve' personally, and there's the fact that Pig Boy's with them as well."

"That's the whole beauty of the plan, Kiryu," Mu replied. "Ranma's the only one with a technique to ruin our plans. What better way to handle it than to send in someone from Nerima? As for the Lost Boy, he doesn't have any significance to ancient pasts like that of the Pharaoh's and the Supreme King's, so he'll be easy pickings."

Kiryu sighed. "Alright, but you're running the same risk your lighter half did when he sent the Mutt to duel Yugi to the Death."

"This time, it will be different."

"Really reassuring there. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be off. My mark is calling me." With that, Kiryu disappeared in a blue light.

Mu smirked under his mask. Nightshroud wanted me to take out the Avatar in the finals, he thought. Unfortunately, I'll have to bring the cards that will cripple him early, as well as the second copy of the God Card I once had. He then gave out a smirk that was inhuman. If anything, the Shadow Game I have planned for him will be one that will end his dueling career FOREVER!!!

----

(With Ranma, Yusei, and Ryoga)

"Okay," Ranma said, "for a warehouse, it's pretty clean."

They got into the left hallway that led to the duel arena, and they were mostly lost.

"All hallways in a warehouse lead to the same location," Yusei said. "If we're lucky, we'll appear before Kyon gets there."

"If it's any consolation," Ryoga said, "I'm still surprised that I'm here."

"Yeah, we know," Ranma said. "You're usually lost most of the time. No wait…ALL the time."

Ryoga growled. "That was before. Now, we need to focus on rescuing Haruhi, remember?"

Before any further arguments could take place, a spatula had landed in front of them, stopping the Rescue Team in their tracks.

"I know that technique," Ranma said. "Ukyo? Where are you?"

"There is no Ukyo," the robed figure said. "There is only Steve."

Yusei recognized that tone. "She's being controlled by a higher power," he said. "And somehow, the requirement involves a name change…but how is that possible?"

Ranma then remembered something Cologne said about the Millennium Items, but what was the one that could control other people's minds? It sure as hell wasn't the Puzzle, and the Key only enters the mind…so that leaves… "Oh boy. We're dealing with someone who stole the Amazonian Replicas of the Millennium Items, and she's being controlled by the Rod!"

"But why the name change?" Ryoga asked Ranma.

"I'm thinking it's a requirement, considering it only controls people with a certain name…and Steve happens to be that name. Nightshroud must be a sick bastard."

"That's right, Saotome," the mind-controlled Ukyo said, "and because of the circumstances, you can either duel me, or save the Maiden, and believe me, you'll lose everything when you make either choice."

"I accept," Ranma said, but Ryoga stopped him.

"Why waste your time Dueling him when you can duel someone like me?" he asked Ukyo.

"Ryoga…"

Ryoga took a glance at Ranma. "You're the only one who can access the Umi-Sen-Ken, Ranma. And from what I can tell, I'm not exactly going to let someone connected to you die a painful death. Besides, if you fail to make it there, I'll make you see hell."

Ranma nodded. "Alright, but you're going to have to break the hold. If she's in the Shadow Realm, you're getting a thrashing."

"I'll keep that in mind. Now, GO!"

With the opportunity given, both the Wild Horse and the Stardust Signer ran towards their destination.

"Why help him, Hibiki?" Ukyo asked him. "Isn't he the one that caused you hell?"

"Let's just say that he and I have a similar agenda, Kuonji," Ryoga replied. "Now are you going to duel me, or not?"

"Very well, but you're well-aware of the stakes involved."

"I know, I know…geez, you're worse than that Roba guy."

Both Ukyo/Steve and Ryoga activated their Duel Disks.

"LET'S DUEL!"

(Ryoga: 4000.)

(Ukyo/Steve: 4000.)

----

(With Kyon, Jaden, and the Avatar)

"Not exactly the best situation that's involved," Jaden said, "but at least it's close to home."

"Except for the warehouse and the increasing shadows," Kyon said. "Feels like I've entered a closed space, only it's more sinister."

"That's the effects of Shadow Magic," the Avatar replied. "It's mostly harmless, but when pain is involved, it can be deadly."

Kyon flinched. "Mental note, don't get too much damage."

"So, you've arrived," a female figure in a cloak said. "And with the Avatar to boot. Looks like you're out of luck, considering the circumstances."

The Avatar bristled. "Who the hell are you?" he asked the cloaked figure.

"I believe the King knows my host, but the Kuriboh in his deck knows me very well. After all, I killed the mentor before they went to the Academy."

Jaden growled. "Tragoedia," he said.

Kyon blinked. "Nightshroud drew HIM into this!?!" he yelled.

"We're dealing with an enemy that uses every single trick in the book to get what they want," the Avatar said. "Even if it means bringing up ghosts from the past."

"And I know who he's possessing, too," the Supreme King replied. "Akane Tendo, I presume?"

The figure took off the cloak to reveal Ranma's forced fiancée thanks to Genma's interference. "Brilliant deduction," Tragoedia replied in Akane's voice. "Then again, you managed to ruin the plan to bring Master Nightshroud back by ridding the Blood Heir and the Spare from their corruption, and for that, you must pay, Jaden Yuki!"

Jaden only kept a solemn face. "Avatar. Kyon. Go."

Kyon was surprised. "You sure you want to do this?" he asked his old friend. "I mean, he did kill Koyo…"

"All the more reason for me to do it. Kyon, Haruhi needs you to rescue her. Not me, not the Avatar. YOU. Besides, this guy has it coming."

"Do what he says, Kyon," the Avatar said, startling Kyon. "I'd duel the being myself, but we've got bigger problems. Besides, I'm confident that Jaden can take out the GIR of Fiends."

"What's GIR?" Tragoedia asked the Avatar.

Kyon sweat-dropped. "I see…" Another mental note. Keep Haruhi AWAY from the gajin cartoon with the alien and the stupid robot.

Both the Avatar and the only human in the SOS Brigade went forward, leaving Jaden to deal with a possessed Akane.

"So, how should we settle this?" Tragoedia asked him. "Ring of Fire? Crucifix? Shadow game with the combination of the two? Either way, I'll sing the Doom Song now."

"Do it as a victory fanfare," Jaden said. "Because you've had this coming for years, Tragoedia!!! GET YOUR GAME ON!"

"Acknowledged."

(Jaden: 4000.)

(Akane/Tragoedia: 4000.)

----

(With Jack, Aki, Nabiki, and Atem/Gin)

Entering an empty space, the three Signers and Pharaoh were surprised that the place wasn't filled to the brim.

"I thought Youma Production involved plenty of beasts," Nabiki said, confused.

"They do," Jack said, "but for some reason, it's empty as a Munich's Underpass."

"Which isn't empty at all?" Atem asked him. "Seriously, did you sneak into Kaiba's Blackadder collection, Jack?"

"I've only seen a few episodes…"

"We'll discuss that later," Aki said. "Right now, be reminded that an empty field can also contain traps."

Atem recognized the effect. "Like Gorz, the Emissary of Darkness?"

"Exactly. If the player has THAT card in their hand, Direct Attacking is a no-go."

"Wise words to live by," a man's voice said. "Unfortunately, it won't do you any good, Signers. And it's been a long time, Pharaoh."

Atem felt a pang of familiarity. "Tomb Robber?" he asked the shadowy voice.

"Right on the money. And for the record, I'm part of the organization Nightshroud runs."

"Well, now I feel stupid."

"What makes you say that?" Nabiki asked Atem.

"Shadows of Necro is easier to say because it's another way of saying the Servants of Zorc Necrophades. Zorc happens to be known as the Dark Master in Duel Monsters, and it's obvious who they're trying to bring back."

Bakura smirked. "That reaction was quicker than expected," he said. "Yes, we're reviving Zorc Necrophades. Why do you think we stole the Amazonian Replicas, although when the Youma are done feasting on your corpses, we'll take the Signer Dragons and your Puzzle to hasten the process."

"For the record, the Puzzle's a part of my being. And secondly, I don't picture you as the type to follow orders. Dare I ask if there's some kind of Monarch involved, like the Venture Brothers?"

"Nightshroud's the Monarch, and before you ask, we don't have any nameless henchmen. Just a bunch of men and women whose names are Steve, thanks to the setbacks of the Replicas."

The four on the lower level blinked.

"Just like the Nanban Mirror," Nabiki said. "If I find Cologne, I'm going to beat some sense into her head, Kiss of Death be damned."

Atem nodded. "And it looks like their Puzzle's not as strong," he said. "However, the Ring's not exactly reacting to it."

Bakura frowned. "That's because the Millennium Item locator's been replaced with a Gaydar."

"A gay-what?"

"Basically something that looks for homosexuals," Jack said. "Which reminds me, did it point to any of the Senshi?"

"Considering that you're not going to live through the process," Bakura said, "it only pointed to Uranus and Neptune. They must be together."

Jack slightly drooled while Aki punched him in the arm.

"Perv," she said.

Atem sweat-dropped. "I'd ask, but it involves something mind-scarring."

"Don't ask me," Nabiki said. "I've only been part of it for a few days."

"We've wasted enough time," Bakura said. "Steve, release the Duel Youma!"

"On it, Master Bakura," the cloaked man said.

Bakura smirked. "Have fun with the pets. I'm going to go look for gay pe—er, possible candidates for our Steve Army. I'll let one of Kiryu's hangers-on clean up the corpses." With a maniacal laugh, Bakura disappeared in the shadows.

From the now-open garage, what looked like Duel Monsters with Negative Energy in their beings appeared.

"Activate your Duel Disks!" Atem yelled.

All three of them nodded, activating their respective Duel Disks.

"How can they do this to them?" Nabiki asked Atem.

"The question I'm asking myself is how they're able to mass-produce this many," Atem said. "From what I can tell, it takes a lot of work making ONE."

"You don't think an actual Youma Creator's involved with this, do you?" Aki asked the former Pharaoh.

"We'll ask ourselves this when we get out," Jack said. "Right now, focus on surviving!"

Atem growled. "In order to survive, we're going to need to screw the rules, as Kaiba would put it simply. Either way, make sure that you conserve your stronger cards in case something big comes up!"

(Jack: 4000.)

(Aki: 4000.)

(Nabiki: 4000.)

(Atem: 4000.)

----

(With Ranma and Yusei)

"You think it was the right thing to leave Ryoga with Ukyo?" Ranma asked Yusei.

"You're needed as the distraction, Ranma," Yusei replied. "And Ryoga knows what he's doing. He's trained himself for this opportunity."

Ranma was still uncertain, but when they entered the next room, they were surprised at the lack of torture devices.

"Ah, welcome," a mysterious voice said. "I've been expecting you both. Especially Yusei."

"Who the hell are you?" Ranma asked him.

Yusei, however, recognized the voice. "Kiryu," he said. "Show yourself!"

"Very well," Kiryu said. From the shadows, a man with a cloak appeared…and his eyes, where the white should be, were black as Death itself. "Surprised to see your old friend, Yusei?"

Ranma was surprised at that. "You know this guy?" he asked Yusei.

"Know him?" Yusei replied. "I attended his funeral."

"You mean he's a zombie?!?"

"This is the power of the Dark Signers. The ability to revive the dead, but at a cost of their souls. Which meant the man I once knew as a friend is gone and something unnatural is possessing his body."

Kiryu smirked. "That's the gist of it," he said. "Now, I don't really care what you do, Wild Horse, but my business is with Yusei."

Ranma was surprised, but then noticed Yusei's look.

"All right," Ranma said. "But keep yourself alive for the finals, Yusei."

"I plan to," he replied. "Now stick to the plan. I intend to settle this once and for all."

With that, Ranma ran out, leaving both men behind.

"I don't know what business you have with Nightshroud," Yusei said, "but you're not getting the best of me this time."

"After the forces take care of the other nuisances," Kiryu said, "you'll be disoriented enough for me to grasp victory. And we're going through the Traditional Duel, not the Turbo Duel, as Battle City rules state."

With that, both men activated their Duel Disks.

"REV IT UP!" they both yelled.

(Yusei: 4000.)

(Kiryu: 4000.)

----

(With Kyon and the Avatar)

Kyon and the Avatar were running through the hallway while Jaden was dueling the possessed Akane.

"You know about Jaden's Haou powers," Kyon said.

"That's correct," the Avatar replied. "And I also know that you're not as normal as Koizumi claims. After all, the strongest Haou are bound through time and space."

"But considering that you know about them, I can only assume you're one?"

"That's correct."

That would explain why he knew what Ranma had in his deck, he thought, but something about this guy seems familiar. "I can't help but think we've met before. By any chance do you know a guy named Koyo Hibiki?"

"Name doesn't ring a bell. And I told you that I would explain myself if we survive the ambush."

Wait, ambush? "You mean they were expecting us?"

The Avatar nodded. "And from what I can tell, the trials we're facing involve duelists from the Greenhorn, then the Experienced, and finally the D himself. That's why I suggested splitting up. As for the other four, they'll survive. After all, I didn't arrive alone."

Thanks for the cryptic message, Lelouch. Now I'm starting to wonder if you're Aki's ex-boyfriend before she met Yusei.

However, there was a maniacal laugh from the shadows. "Ah, so good of you to join us," he said. "But be warned, you're about to face the wrath of Nothingness."

"And you're ripping off Xemnas," Kyon said to the figure. "Nothingness?"

"I prefer the name Mu," the masked man replied. "Pleasure to meet your acquaintance, but I'm afraid this is your last meeting."

"I know you," the Avatar said. "You're the guy that killed my teammates!"

Mu smirked underneath the mask. "Ah, and you're a sight for sore eyes. Then again, hiding under a mask so you can make your mark as an unknown being is basically something I'd expect from a villain like myself. Then again, only those you trust know your real identity, and they've died by my hand!"

Is that why he wasn't willing to trust anyone? Kyon then saw the Avatar in a new light. Wait a minute, now I know where I met this guy! "So, which deck are you using? I doubt your civilian deck could go up against a guy like that."

The Avatar was surprised, and Mu was smirking.

"Looks like you're not as dumb as you look," the Avatar said. "I guess I won't need this anymore." With that, he then tossed the mask onto the floor to reveal Andrew from the entrance ceremony.

"If we're discarding masks," Mu said, "then I'd better do the same." Mu then took off his Lelouch-colored mask to reveal a darker form of Marik. "I prefer the name Malik, considering it's similar to Malice, and I'm going to do what my other half wouldn't think of doing."

"That is one ugly mother…" Kyon started to say.

"Kyon, stay out of this!" Andrew yelled. "Besides, I think you're needed elsewhere."

"Right," Kyon said. "And I'm sorry for the insult during the start of the tournament." With that, he ran out of the doors, leaving Andrew and Malik in position.

"Before we begin," Malik said, "let's make this game a little interesting." The shadows then increased in an odd purple hue, engulfing the two duelists. "I'm a master of torture, so I'm adding this to the stakes: Along with my Locator Cards, I'll offer my whole deck if you can send me back. But if you lose, I'll make sure that you suffer the same fate your friends did."

Andrew glared. "And the Shadow Game involves me seeing their deaths from their point of view," he said. "Seriously, Malik, you're about as original as Kishimoto when it involves torture through cursed eyes."

Malik grinned. "And you're going to suffer the same sticky end they faced once your life points hit zero. And for the record, I don't know anybody by that name. I'm just using the body I last appeared in."

"I can see that. And you're using the Rod knock-off? Seriously, how many Steves do you have, anyways?"

"I don't know. I just bring in the vic...er, applicants. Now prepare to face the onslaught that this Shadow Game contains!"

Andrew glared. "For the memory of my friends and the sake of the world, I will win this Shadow Game and make sure you take a one way ticket STRAIGHT TO HELL, YOU MURDEROUS BASTARD!!!"

(Andrew: 4000.)

(Malik: 4000.)

----

Kyon then arrived in the next room which connected both hallways.

"Kyon!" Haruhi yelled from the rafters. "I knew you'd arrive."

"Hang on, Haruhi!" he yelled. "We'll make sure you escape undetected!" Better hope Ranma's here already.

"Hello, Kyon," the D said, arriving from the sky. "I see you've kept your end of the bargain."

"Save the monologue for someone who cares," Kyon yelled. "Knowing guys like you, I can only assume that you're not going to keep your end of the bargain."

The D smirked. "Oh, looks like you've seen through my scheme. Of course I'm going to lie. It's what I do. I did the same thing after killing the creator of the Destiny Heroes and raising the young user in the process. Haven't you heard of Darkseid?"

"Seriously," Kyon said, "Darkseid? That's where you got the idea from? I knew that there were parodies involved, but COME ON!!! At least be original!"

"Are you going to duel me, or not?"

"Not like I have any other choice. But seriously, the guy you're working for is about as trusting as GLaDOS from Portal."

"There's a difference between being a full-time villain and an evil mercenary. I'm just in it for the money."

"Greedy AND stupid," Haruhi said. "A dangerous combination to make."

"I'm basically looking at the Duelist version of Boss Hog from the Dukes of Hazzard," Kyon added.

The D growled. "Don't insult my tactics!"

"Sorry, but you know that you're going to die if you lose. And it's not by my hands."

"Oh please. And you say I'm the cheesy one? Let me introduce you to how I duel." With a snap of the fingers, Kyon then found himself with collars. "It's the requirements of the Underground Dueling System. Every time your Life Points decrease, you receive a small shock. The big one's made from losing all of your life points in the duel. I believe your friend fell prey to the same thing he faced in the duel?"

"With the stuff I went through," Kyon said, "I'm not surprised." Seriously, if I'm shocked with Haruhi watching, I'm almost afraid of what will happen to the world if I die. With that, Kyon activated his Duel Disk with the D following suit.

"LET'S DUEL!"

(Kyon: 4000.)

(The D: 4000.)

To be continued…

----

(A/n: Five Duels and one Burly Brawl involving four Duelists. One of them is trying to free their fellow Neriman from the Rod's control (as well as a name change), another is an ex-fiancée possessed by the GIR of Fiends who killed Jaden and Kyon's mentor (who's not related to Ryoga, by the way), the third involves a dead best friend who has the Monkey of the Earthbound Gods, the fourth is a grudge match between the Self-Insert and one of Atem's more sadistic opponents, and the fifth is an Underground Duel with a supposed God watching as her Adam is dueling for his life against an assailant whose tactics are similar to Darkseid from the Superman comics. Ranma's preparing for the rescue while the remaining four are facing off against an army of Duel Youmas. Only thing that would make this funnier was if Malik actually called the Self-Insert "Binky Boy" before declaration.

Seriously, I put in a lot of hidden jokes. One of them is basically from an anime I haven't seen before making fun of Aki's resemblance to Kallen from Code Geass and the Avatar. And for the record, I'm a Yusei/Aki fan.

Either way, Jaden's going to be enjoying HIS duel. He wanted revenge for the near-death in Chapter 2 (involving the broken couch), but it looks like he's going to go up in a disadvantage when he pulls out the Evil Heroes. After all, Tragoedia's Special Ability makes him the Fiend version of Buster Blader, only with his own kind.

For the record, it would be easier for Ranma to duel Ukyo (who had her name forcibly changed into Steve), but I had Ryoga duel her in his place. After all, he's the only one with the Umi-Sen-Ken. I just hope he's able to pull off something similar to what Yugi did freeing Joey.

If you don't get the reference Kyon spouted out, one of them is obscure considering that I've only seen the Dukes of Hazzard movie (made by the guys who made Super Troopers) while another stems from Portal. I'm pretty sure that Haruhi got the references through word of mouth. At least, hopefully.

The Avatar's finally revealed as the guy who tried to befriend the group. And I already hinted at Malik's appearance during the Bonus chapter. But in all seriousness, he'll be using his Dragon Deck, and Malik's got an unpleasant surprise, which involves the second (and only) Winged Dragon of Ra card. Atem's going to be PISSED when he finds out about that. And for the record, the only way it escaped detection is if it's called something else, and it involves the Abridged nickname for it (Mega Ultra Chicken). And no, I'm not renaming Obelisk the Tormentor and Slifer the Sky Dragon to Obelisk the Rejected Cloverfield Monster and Slifer the Executive Producer. That would be too obvious (and predictable).

Yusei and Kiryu is basically an obvious match-up, but instead of the Dark Duel Track, I'm putting Kiryu's respective Earthbound God as a design on the floor of the battlefield.

And obviously, there's a difference between a regular duel and an all-out brawl. In a brawl, you're forced to screw the rules in order to survive. Kaiba knew it because he faced off against a dark version of his Blue-Eyes White Dragon card and was forced to bring out the Shining Dragon. Jack also knows it because most of his funding went into the creation of Battle City V2. Atem knows two different Setos, so it's obvious to him (and no, the other one doesn't have green hair. Tan skin, yes, but no green hair).

And what Bakura's really doing is looking for gay people. He's got a Gaydar and willing to use it.

Oh, and here's the Rejected Cloverfield Mon…er, I mean Omakes for this chapter.)

----

Omake 3: Not the typical overpowered self-insert (aka, The Avatar's not so serious).

--

"Now, prepare to feel the wrath of the Shadow Realm!" Malik yelled.

To his surprise, Andrew was laughing.

"You find this funny? You're about to suffer nightmares beyond your comprehension!"

"I find it funny," he said, "because your Shadow Realm PALES in comparison to what I've got!"

Malik looked slightly frightened. "Humor me."

"As a Rider, I have access to a realm STRONGER than the soul-sucking powers of the Shadow Realm. DUEL FIELD: MASS CONFUSION! IT'S MAJIDE TIME!!!"

With that, the shadows faded to reveal what looked like Outer Space.

"What the hell is this?" Malik asked him.

"In Majide time, you're able to screw the rules in multiple formats. All you have to do is have the urge to say 'Are you serious?!!' It's the most lethal Duel Field ever created in all of history!"

That did it. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!!" Malik yelled.

"If you don't believe me, ask Seiyaryu." With that, a pink serpentine dragon appeared behind Andrew.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!!"

"He said it," Seiyaryu said. "Looks like he activated the Majide Meteor Shower."

"It basically applies direct damage of 500 Life Points every time you say it during the whole duel. And since you said it twice, well…you get the idea."

As soon as it was said, Malik was hit twice by incoming Majide meteors.

(Malik: 3000.)

"As you can see, saying 'Are you serious' has serious consequences." Unfortunately, it affects even HIM!

(Andrew: 3500.)

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!!" Malik yelled. "If you have that kind of power at your disposal, why are we having this duel? You could have saved the girl already!"

That's when the phrases shattered.

"For the record," Andrew said, "I just like to screw with my opponents. Besides, the 'Stronger than the Shadow Realm' thing is basically a glaring SI trait ALONE."

"I fail to see why it's stronger than a simple Shadow Realm game," Malik said. "Who was the idiot that designed this field?"

"I take insult to that, Malik-boy," a familiar voice said.

Malik was surprised to see…PEGASUS?!? "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!!" he yelled.

"Depends on your term of serious," another voice said. "Then again, why so serious, Malik?"

Again, surprise is evident as he's staring in the face of Dartz, who's basically dressed up like the Joker. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!!"

"Mind if I join the party?" a kid's voice said. "I've been wandering around the database for quite a while."

"ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!!" Malik yelled. "You're supposed to be DEAD because the database is destroyed AND Kaiba had an updated look!"

"We need five people in order to revive the Mega Ultra Chicken," Andrew said, dressed up as a witch doctor. "Now please, read these cards: I am…"

"I am…" all four Villains said (and yes, including Malik because of the second effect of the Majide Field).

"Sofa king…"

"Sofa king…"

"We todd ed."

"We todd ed."

"Now, say it faster." They did, but Andrew interrupted them. "No, not so fast. Loses meaning."

The phrase, when put together, was "I am so [EFF]ing retarded."

"You say funny thing."

"You're just [EFF]ing with me," Malik said. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't blow your mind into bits right now."

"Because the Mega Ultra Chicken, or rather, the Winged Dragon of Ra is very angry with you right now."

"The what's the what now?" Turning around, he was able to see Ra in place of Pegasus, Dartz, and Noah (who were the sacrifices) and fully loaded. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!! Is the Mega Ultra Chicken the pet name for Ra?"

"Check the card," Andrew said.

Sure enough, Malik looked at the card on the Duel Disk…and it was right there, in print, "Mega Ultra Chicken."

"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS?!!"

Andrew nodded. "And because of the illusionistic sacrifices involved, he'll attack Smackover Arkansas!"

"YOU'RE SHITTING ME, RIGHT?!!"

Sure enough, Ra transformed into Phoenix mode and his impact turned the world into an oddly shaped DRUMSTICK!!! Wait, what now?

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!!"

"Dead serious. And because of the attack points involving Pegasus, Dartz, and Noah, you lose Life Points because it was YOUR monster."

"Wait, what?" Malik asked him. "You mean those were MONSTERS based off of actual PEOPLE?!!"

"Ever hear of Kaibaman?"

Toon Prophet:

ATK: 1500.

DEF: 2500.

Orichalcos Puppet:

ATK: 500.

DEF: 3500.

Digital Spirit:

ATK: 1000.

DEF: 2000.

(Malik: 0.)

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!!" Malik yelled, taking the brunt of the attack. With that, the body was unconscious as soon as they returned, much to the shock of Jaden.

"What the hell just happened?" he asked Andrew.

"Let's just say that there's a power that was sealed away because of the absurdity and intense disregard for the current rulebook."

"Well, that explains why your opponent's drooling."

Andrew groaned. "This happens every time I activate the Majide! Seriously, if I have to see that every time they experience Majide, I'm going to have to get a mop." He then looked at Jaden. "By the way, how was your duel with Tragoedia."

Jaden groaned. "Let's just say I've got a new fusion, an asset to the Evil Heroes, and a new annoyance and leave it at that. By the way, was that Ra?"

"Not anymore. Normally, I'd take it, but I didn't control it, which makes me not a typical SI. Instead, I'm taking his Fiend Sanctuary."

Jaden groaned. "Wise decision. That display alone made you overpowered. Which reminds me…" Andrew then got a punch to the face. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU KEEP YOUR IDENTITY SECRET FOR THE THREE BATTLE CITY CHAPTERS?!? A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE THINKING THERE WAS ANOTHER CROSSOVER INVOLVED WITH THIS STORY!!! AND SERIOUSLY, USING A BOBOBO TECHNIQUE? HOW ORIGINAL!"

"It's only an omake," Andrew replied. "Lighten up."

----

(And this is why I strayed from the SI concept. Seriously, I only use it to spoof the whole thing, not implement it in the story.

I'm not sure which order to put them in, but I know Kyon's is last. Read and Review…and don't mind the SI concept, because he's not overpowered and I sure as HELL won't put in something like that in a YuGiOh fanfic. If you think I'll go back on my word, I'm going to have to bring in the Mega Ultra Chicken for every four flamers that disagree, binky boy.

Bakura: I knew you'd say it sometime.

Oh shut up, kitty.)