Model This
Chapter 13: Lost Letters
I'm posting this early because I'm super excited for this chapter and I've had amazing reviews. So, here you go!
-Model This-
Dear Bella,
I know that you are probably wondering why I haven't written to you. I just haven't been able to find the words of what to say. I know that I owe you more apologies than I can count. I also owe you more explanation than what I've provided. I'm still working on the explanation part.
I'm so terribly sorry for how I've treated you. I can't say it enough. I treated you like I did because I could. I know no amount of apologizing can make up for it. I promise to never treat someone how I've treated you. I'm going to start being a better man to you once I get out of here.
I have something that I need to tell you, I just don't know how. You might be surprised when you do find out. But why should I keep you waiting? I'm in love with you, Bella. I always have been, even if I'm not good at showing it. I just hope that you forgive me and love me back.
Edward
Edward,
I really don't understand why I haven't heard anything from you lately. I've been hoping to hear from you since I heard you went to Level One. I know you can write me letters. You've written plenty of letters to your family members, why am I not good enough to get one back?
I just want to know how you're doing. I want to know if you're okay or if you're struggling. Even when I'm mad at you, I'm still here for you, Edward. Just…write me back. Please.
Bella
Dear Bella,
You've probably already heard the great news that I've been promoted to Level Two. I know it doesn't seem like much, but I don't have to wear those hideous brown sweats anymore. I don't know if anyone has told you the colors here. If not, here you go.
Level Zero-Orange
Level One-Brown
Level Two-Green
Level Three- Yellow
Level Four- Red
Level Five- Blue
Level Six- Purple
Level Seven- White
They said it would probably at least be a year before I get to Level Seven. It's been three months before I've made Level Two. I just wish that they would tell us what we need to do for us to get to the next Level.
I can honestly say that it feels weird to not be high for a whole month. It's not a bad kind of weird. Although, I'm still really wishing that I could just get a hold of something. Anything. But, I also want to get sober. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Love,
Edward
Edward,
Alice gave me the great news that you're now a Level Three. I just wish you were the one that were telling me these things. Why haven't you written to me? You've been there for just over three months and I haven't heard anything from you. Even just having one of your other correspondents tell me that you said "hello" would be worth it.
She also told me that it's starting to get easier for you. That it's getting easier to be able to say no when you get the urges. I miss you, Edward. It's difficult not hearing from you.
But the good news is that Rosalie is now seven months along. She looks amazing even if she doesn't seem to think so. She and Emmett found out that they're having a baby girl. The name Adriana has come up a few times.
They also asked me to be godmother. Can you believe it? I couldn't imagine being a guardian to a child. But I'd do it for them.
I'm sorry about what's happened to your reputation since it was leaked about your addiction. I wish that I could make things easier for you. I've been thinking more and more about quitting modeling. I do love it, but it just doesn't give me the joy that it used to. I don't know what my next step should be.
It might just be as simple as waiting for you to get out of rehab. Emmett told me it might still be another nine months or so. It would be worth it if I got to see you. I've made a realization, Edward. I'm in love with you.
Is it weird that I could see us having a future together? A real future. Not one that's just for the public eye. I could see us with a couple kids and happily married. But, I don't know if you love me back. Can you please write me back? I need to know the truth.
Isabella