If anyone gets the bug thing, they have my approval.
Aetheo: And my apologies.
See now you're just throwing people off.
Aetheo: And this is not my problem. Plus, I'd pay good money to watch someone be thrown off a bug.
Would the person be smaller or the bug larger?
Aetheo: Why not both?
Medium bug? Cause in the other case you've got some weird constantly changing inverse size superbug.
Aetheo: Corgi-sized bug, proportional person.
Cool. Glad that was cleared up… importance.
Welcome back! See, it's nice to have you. Before we start I'd like to take a shot at my own writing.
Aetheo: Does it need more people taking shots at it? I've been aiming really well.
No, you're good. But I'd like to point out to myself… in a soon to be public document, the drastic changes that have happened in my writing style.
Aetheo: It went from the influences of such authors as JRR Tolkien to a far more reasonable modern-style prose. Not the least of which came from the changing of the preferences of your proofreaders.
I like to think about it in a way that says "Look! Plot! Praise the gods above for this bountiful harvest!" That's what it's like for me.
Aetheo: Funny as it is to watch you make far more spelling and grammar mistakes in the author's notes than in the twenty-five pages of actual story content, perhaps disclaimers are in order?
Yeah, I suppose… alright. Taking on a bug trend. Here are the bugs from BUG'S Life…
Aetheo: And the dragons from DRAGON'S Heart?
Yeah… I wasn't actually going to… fucking nevermind. I was gonna be like fucking PSA-style don't eat peas and ice cream at the same time. Or don't put corn in a salad and use mustard as dressing! I know that one… I did that one.
Aetheo: That's not as bad of a combo as it sounds like. Just don't do chocolate ice cream. Then it's not so good. Perhaps the salad thing… but I'm not a fan of mustard in general. Corn in salad sounds alright though.
This is supposed to be a disclaimer… if anyone couldn't tell...
Aetheo: "Could" might work better.
Yeah just, use your brain. THERE SEE! Fucking salvaged! A use your brain PSA disclaimer! Nailed that shit.
Chapter 13: 2/4 Bugs
"So… let me get this straight," Kein said through his shirt, stepping over another knee high mushroom. "We are… miles deep in a forest comprised entirely of mushrooms. We are clearly being stalked by mushroom spiders. The air is so polluted with spores that it feels like I'm breathing through tissue paper. And the only reason we're even here is to follow the river you think will get us to this temple…"
There was a sigh from the mushroom above Kein. After a few seconds, Ellix jumped down right before him. Rising up, the irate drake placed his feet on Kein's shoulders and looked him in the eye.
"Do you have a BETTER IDEA?"
Kein closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had been playing conversational Chutes and Ladders with Ellix ever since he had woken him up. Every time Kein thought he'd broken through and gained half a centimeter of respect, he would roll snake eyes and get sent right back to the very beginning.
"That's not the point I'm trying to make," Kein said, pushing Ellix off with his good hand. "All I'm saying is that all this unnecessary bullshit is happening because you want to take a chance. Which is incredibly moronic!"
"As if you could say anything against a chance!" Ellix thrust a wing at Kein. "You are the single most lucky thing I've ever seen!"
Growling, Kein pinched his nose. "Alright! Fine! But don't you think there could have been any other, more safe, way of going about this?"
"Oh, my, Ancestors! Of course, yes!" Ellix said. "But until that 'way' becomes blaringly apparent, I see no reason why we should stop!" The dragon took off back into the mushroom tops. "And if you'd get your head out of the mud like the degenerate you are, maybe you could find that solution faster!"
Kein had the most sarcastically bright smile on his face. The kind of smile you use when someone asks you how your shitty day was, which, surprisingly, fit perfectly in context. The best part was that while Ellix was being an ass about it; he was being the kind of ass where Kein knew he was right. The kind of ass where he wasn't making Kein look directly stupid, but rather, where Kein was making himself look stupid. Not even Will was that skilled in the art of… "debate".
At the same time, Kein couldn't ignore the fact that Ellix was right. If the current conditions were really that bad, to him at least, it was technically his responsibility to figure out how to make them better. But God forbid he knew how to go about doing that, seeing that he knew next to nothing about the surrounding area, which could reasonably be described as Candyland, but with the humorless addition of mushrooms.
Unfortunately, the only source of information available to him was Ellix, and he wasn't exactly the most... cooperative person. But, past that point, Kein was free to wing it as much as he wanted! As if that was a new concept to him.
"You know what." From above, Ellix poked his head over. "Just to make sure you don't brood, I'm going to clear up what you said before. First of all-"
"Okay, how about we walk and talk?" Kein interrupted.
Ellix pursed his lips. "Oh? Smarter already?"
"Much…" Kein said dryly.
"Alright," Ellix said, falling heavily beside him. "Two things. First, sure, we're constantly being stalked by mushroom spiders." There was skittering and squeaking to the in bushes next to them. "We've been ever since we entered this place." Further noises emphasized the point. "But answer me this: why exactly does that matter?"
Despite the strange question, Kein knew exactly what he was talking about. No more than five minutes after they had passed into the border of this forest, Kein had been attacked by one of the spiders. At the time, Ellix had gone ahead like that last five times and he was left to deal with the thing himself. Luckily, panicked stabbing was something that turned out to be incredibly effective against the local wildlife.
"Secondly, and I'm going to say this as clearly as possible to make sure you fully understand what I'm about to say." Ellix, halted their walking by placing a wing against Kein's chest. After several seconds, the drake yelled "There are no spores here!" and by whatever magic managed to do a sideways flip whose power was used to effectively drop-kick a small mushroom over the treeline.
Unfortunately, before Kein was able to wonder why the action was even necessary, Ellix continued to yell.
"Look in the sky! Look on the ground! Literally look wherever that absent-minded head of yours wants to look! There are no spores!" Ellix tool a moment to walk away angrily before turned back. "You know what it probably is?"
"God, I don't know, Ellix. What could it possibly be?" Kein said, deadpanned.
Slap.
"It's probably, just a guess here... because your ribs are broken!" Ellix poked him in the chest. "You know? Those things that exist in this area?" Kein was pushed to the ground by a slew of rapid poking.
"God!" Kein attempted to swat away a wing. "Dammit! Ellix! If my fucking ribs were broken, my lungs would be punctured!" Kicking the drake away, Kein stood. "I'd be coughing up blood right now!"
"And how do you know that!" Ellix yelled back, standing as well.
"Because that's what happens when you get broken ribs!" Kein grimaced, picking up a mushroom and chucking it at the drake.
"Well, I can tell you that's bullshit!" Ellix said and pouncing at Kein, taking the mushroom to the face. "Cause that's certainly not what happened to me!"
"Then you got fucking lucky!" Kein grunted, holding him back with a knee.
Ellix growled, baring his weight down. "Or maybe not having a lung punctured is normal and everyone else is unlucky!"
"Get the fuck- OFF!" Kein yelled, gaining just enough leverage to flip Ellix into the bushes behind them. "You fucking piece of shi-" Before he could finish the sentence, he began to violently cough.
Ellix, hearing the rough hacks, sighed loudly and got up. "Oh! That, is, funny! Do you think I'm an idiot?" Unfortunately, as he crossed over the small mound he had been tossed over, Ellix found Kein on his knees, coughing out phlegm mixed with blood.
After a second of disgust, Ellix said. "You're the single, most ridiculously stupid thing, I've ever seen…" And walked forward. Upon accidentally stepping on a small pool of blood, he grimaced. "Gross."
Hearing this, Kein growled and attempted to stand. Sweat was dripping down his face, mixing quickly with the tails of blood that still hung to his mouth. Leaning heavily against a mushroom, Kein grabbed his side. Looking Ellix straight in the eyes, he wiped his chin.
"I am-cough going to… stab you," he forced out, angrily.
Ellix's dead expression changed in no way after Kein said this, instead, it only served to intrigue him. "Oh, really?"
"I'm going," Kein continued, pushing himself off and staggering forward. "I'm going to take this knife-cough and I'm going to cut you down the face..."
"And?" The drake stepped to the side as Kein walked passed him.
Kein pushed his way out of the clearing they had been in to find a narrow, bending path. "I'm going to-cough, to rip your wings... into confetti."
"That's nice," Ellix replied offhandedly.
"And I'm going to slice off that tail of yours… make the biggest fucking feather pen-cough and write a sarcastic eulogy… while I throw your corpse in the mud." Kein stopped his marching to catch his breath. During which time, Ellix sat down next to him, expression still unchanged.
After some time, Kein asked. "Do giant birds-cough exist here?"
Ellix's response was a shrug. "Are you done now?"
Kein gave the drake a long stare before moving his eyes around the forest. After a second, he looked back. "Don't you have to like, disappear into the woods again?" Regaining a grip on his bag, Kein continued. "To fucking-cough, I don't know… masturbate or something? God knows it might help."
Ellix recoiled, grinning loosely. "I didn't know I turned you on that much. If you want to deal with it, I'll go for a while." The change in visage didn't last long. "Unfortunately for you, I want to be there to watch you die mid-stride and faceplant into the dirt."
"Fine, whatever…" Kein said, waving him off. "Just do it in the-cough canopy where I can't hear you drag your feet across the ground." Fortunately, by the time he had spoken his second word, Ellix had already flown off.
Kein let his head fall back, taking the small amount of time presented to relax. He had no doubt that if anything was going to kill him now, it was that thing, Ellix. It was probably going to happen within the next couple days. In an effort to get to this so-called 'temple'. He was going to be asked to do some overly dangerous task that, while at the time seemed like a bad idea, turned out to be a horrible one.
The best part was that Kein knew Ellix would say something like "Well that's a shame," after he bit it.
Groaning, Kein pulled his satchel off his shoulder. The knot he had tied in the strap was starting to hurt. Of course, this was little in comparison to things like a broken arm and a punctured lung, and all it really did was add to the number of things his one arm had to carry. Which not only included the latter, but also his pants, which threatened to tear off at any point in time.
"Practical problems…" Kein mumbled.
"Hey," Ellix appeared from atop another mushroom. "I get the fact that you're trying to be all tough now and play it alone. But, you're wasting a lot of time."
Kein immediately forgot was he was thinking about. "Thanks, I didn't-cough, I didn't realize that…"
"No problem," the drake said, disappearing for just a moment. "And if you're having problems with your pants-"
"How do you know... what pants are?" Kein interrupted.
"What? Do you think I'm a savage or something?" Ellix asked, scoffing. "Like I was saying, if you're having pant problems, just drop 'em."
"I'm not going to-" Kein tried.
"Unless you're really self-conscious and your pride is lacking... pfft, pride… In which case, I guess you could untie that strap there and use it as a belt, but, hey." An uncharacteristically humble expression crossed his face."That's up to you."
Kein looked to the cut satchel strap then to the multitude of intact belt loops on his normally fitting pants.
"And yes, I know what a belt is." There was a fush as Ellix flew off.
For the next few seconds, Kein stood, licking the inside of his mouth and staring at the spot Ellix had previously been. Holding a breath, he undid the knot and fished the two sides through opposite ends of his pants. When he found that, not only did the solution work, the straps had a noticeable amount of extra length to them, Kein yelled.
"God. Fucking. Cough-Dammit!"
The next thirty minutes for Kein were nothing but walking, wheezing, and knife holding. Sure the path he was following was well trodden on, making for a relatively mudless journey, but the "Shmiders," as he had come to call them, more than made up for that. And it wasn't the ear-piercing screeching that made them difficult. More, the fact that, when one of the beasts would throw itself onto the path and just sit there staring at him, screaming futilely, Kein would have to cut a piece of dirt out of the ground and throw it just to get the thing to go away.
This happened way more than a reasonable universe would have allowed.
Currently, Kein was in that exact scenario, only, at some point, he had found himself next to a golden river, so he had an ample supply of rocks at hand.
"Fucking… Shmider!" he said, hucking his third rock. For whatever reason, this particular one seemed to give fewer shits than Ellix did, showing this by the fact that it had taken three rocks to the face and done absolutely nothing.
"Having issues?" Kein looked to his upper right to see the aforementioned drake perched on top of a mushroom cap, preening.
"Jesus, I don't-cough know! You seem to be pretty-cough insightful on these kinds of things," Kein replied.
Ellix was silent as he watched Kein pick up and throw another rock. "Why don't you just stab it?"
Kein sputtered. "Pfft- Wha- I'm not just-cough going to stab it!"
"Why not?" Ellix asked.
"Because-cough." Kein coughed. "It's just... "
"Just what? In your way? Hostile? Attempting to kill you?" The drake asked nonchalantly.
"Man, fuck off," Kein huffed, picking up another rock and chucking it. The stone hit smack-dab on the creatures first right leg and for whatever reason, this set it off. However, rather than skittering off like every other one, it screeched painfully and rolled into the river, immediately sinking to the bottom and drowning.
There was a second of silence shared between the two.
"I hope you're proud of yourself," Ellix commented.
"I-cough, am!" Kein said loudly.
"So if you're happy that you killed it, why didn't you just stab it in the first place?" Ellix said back.
"Man, fuck you! Didn't you say that you-cough, that you were going to fuck about in the woods or something?" Kein said, using a hand to motion off into the forest.
"Yeah, but I found something," Ellix said. "I think we should avoid it. But since you seem so sure of yourself, I'll leave it up to you."
"Okay, great!" Kein said. "What the fu-cough-uk, is it!"
"It's like a tiny village," Ellix said. "The houses are made of mushrooms and garbage. I couldn't even tell what was living there because they were so, unnecessarily, bright."
"What?" Kein's expression added incredible emphasis to the word.
"Exactly," Ellix said. "That's why I don't think we shouldn't go near it."
Kein reset his expression into the scowl that had become custom. As much as he hated it, Ellix was right. If he didn't know what lived at this newly discovered village, neither did Kein. Heck, for all either of them knew, these new beginning could be living bombs. Of course, the practicality of that was… low, Kein didn't put it past this place to deliver.
"I suppose so," Kein said, wiping his mouth. "Is there any quick way around it?"
"The quickest way would to just skirt through it,' the drake said. "In all honesty, from what I saw, the place is really small, and despite how loud you are, I'm sure you could do it."
"Thanks," Kein deadpanned.
"If that's not good enough for you. The safest way would be just crossing the river here and traveling on that side," Ellix continued.
Turning, Kein looked at the golden, murky water with disgust. Sure, it was golden, but rather than looking like gold-tinted water, it was more of a golden syrup. And since he couldn't see the riverbed nor were there any ways across that wouldn't get him drenched, Kein was inclined to vote against the idea.
"I think we've forgone the word… safe," he said.
"Alright," Ellix shrugged. "Just-"
"Wait." At this point, Kein remembered something. "Why don't you just do that weird… portal stuff."
"You mean this?" Ellix said. Suddenly, the area next to him warped violently and a black vortex flashed to life.
Kein's eye twitched. "Yes… that." It had been pretty easy for Kein to figure out what these black portals could do, seeing as Ellix was more than willing to use them freely and his memory from the day before.
"Kein, as soon you'd enter this, you would lose all control of your body," the drake said.
"Okay, you know that's not-cough, true," Kein replied.
"Bullshit that's not true!" Ellix shot back. "And anyway, as if I'd carry your fat sack of a body."
"Do you not remember what happened after you fucking-cough kidnapped me?" Kein yelled.
"Kidnapped?" Ellix shouted, looking appalled for the first time Kein had seen. "All I remember is me saving your worthless ass then you kicking me in the face!"
"Fucking exactly!" Kein yelled. When Ellix growled at him, Kein growled back.
After several seconds of lowly growling, a burst of laughter sounded from next to them.
"You two are amazing!" There was so much laughter between words it was hard to tell what was being said.
Instantly, Ellix turned and struck at the intruder with his tail blade.
"Hey! Watch it there buddy!" The giggly tone the new voice had disappeared. "I'll have you know I'm trained in self-defense!" Soon after, the voice began to make overly stereotyped karate noises.
From his backed position, Kein could see exactly who was speaking, and even if he wanted to, he couldn't have said anything himself. The thing that had dodged Ellix's lightning-quick attack was something that Kein's mind could only identify as a brightly glowing dragonfly. That alone, though, wasn't enough. The real thing that separated his ability to speak from total, disbelieving silence was the fact that it was shouting and using its human-like hands and arms to perform a poor excuse for martial arts.
It was about this time that Ellix recovered from his accidental miss. But the fact that he missed didn't seem to instill him with any humility. As he turned to peer upon the dragonfly, his expression changed from pure malice to his usual indifference.
"Oh. It's one of you guys," he said and began to walk away. However, when it scoffed, Ellix turned back.
"Um, excuse me?" it said. "I am not a 'one of you guys.'" When Ellix raised an eyebrow, it continued. "I will have you know that I am Sparx! Hero, of the Dragon Realms!" After saying this, Sparx flew over and began to knock on Ellix's head. "So your superiors some respect, eh?"
Ellix, already having had enough, attempted to devour the insect. He missed. "I don't care who you are, you annoying gnat," Ellix said, rubbing his eye. "You could be the king-of-the-world for all I care."
"Ha! Joke's on you! I'm the king-of-the-world's brother!" Sparx yelled in reply.
"Really…" It wasn't even a question.
"Yeah, man! My bro' saved the world." Sparx waved his hand across the forest, acting as if this forest could be used to accurately depict the world.
"And who exactly might your 'bro' be?" Ellix questioned.
"Spyro, duh. Geez, you've been living under a rock or something?" When no response came, Sparx continued. "Spyro? Purple dragon? Can shoot all the things from his face. No?"
"Look, buddy," Ellix said. "I don't care. I don't care who you are or who 'Spyro' is-"
"You say that!" Sparx interrupted. "But just wait till he gets back. I'll make sure he gives it to ya' good." The last few words were said through his teeth.
"Okay, fine! If you think that's what'll happen!" Ellix pressured himself close to Sparx. "I will gladly take it from your bro."
"Uh…" Sparx didn't seem to sure now. "Well… isn't that unfortunate! For you… then. Because he isn't here… right now."
"Really? Then where might I be able to find him?" Ellix was growling.
Sparks looked to his sides nervously. "That… I cannot say."
Off to the side where neither Sparx nor Ellix had bothered to look, Kein sat. During the time they had been bickering, he had come to establish and accept certain things. He had accepted the fact that dragons and talking dragonflies were a thing. He had accepted that, yes, forests consisting of almost nothing but mushrooms could exist and that there were no spores. He had even concluded that the swamp's water was actually normal, despite how strangely viscous it appeared, and the plant-life that grew on its surface made it seem that way.
And this only scratched the surface of the minute things he had come to terms with. But, there were two things that lingered. The first was wondering how long these establishments would last. How long would it be until something else came around and sent him into another mind-fuck were he'd have to awkwardly sit there and work it out. Or was there ever going to be a point in which he became so numb that the world could actually flip before his eyes and he'd just accept it instantly?
But even that, even the idea of total and utter acceptance wasn't the true forefront of his thought. No, the thing that kept him speechless as the two continued to fight; the thing that left him on the ground, twiddling a rock in his fingers; the thing that prevented him from fully appreciating the fact that there was a talking dragonfly floating a few feet in front of him, was one of the first things Sparx had said.
"This place is called the... Dragon Realms?"
That sentence set off a chain of events that, by some act of luck Kein could not describe, ended up with him sitting outside the entrance of finely furnished and treated mushroom. Not that he was complaining. Currently, he was being given a small bowl of stew from the home's residents, who, despite the massive size difference, were more than happy to provide for him.
"Thank you, Mrs.?" Kein said, removing a carved mushroom top from over a small fire beneath the house. He had already gotten over the validity of a mushroom as a bowl. Porousness notwithstanding, there were weirder things afoot.
"No need for pleasantries, Kein. You can just call me Nina." Nina, or 'thank the ancestors, they're multicolored,' as Ellix had put it, was Sparx's mother.
"Thank you-cough, Nina," Kein said, taking a sip from the steaming bowl. "I can't tell you how much this means to me."
"It's the least I could do, given your current state," Nina replied. Following, she flew down from Kein's eye level to a small contraption beneath the house. Pulling a lever situated to the side of it, a strangely normal sized bucket fell over, spilling water into the smoldering fire.
Deciding not to question, Kein continued. "Thank you. But still, I appreciate your help."
"Kein, please." Nina, having reset the machine, flew up to Kein and placed a hand on his shoulder. "It would have been wrong for me to not help. How about we changed the subject." Looking over his head, she said. "What about your friend there? What's his story?"
Kein had already told Nina the nature of his predicament since it wasn't exactly sensitive information. When he mentioned the first instance of his attacker, she made a comment on his appearance, which apparently, closely resembled that of an ape. Of course, Kein was confused by this. He couldn't deny it, but at the same time, nor could he find a reason for its importance. That was until Nina gave him a brief summary of the war between the Dragon and ape races. Past that point, Kein had come to the conclusion that the dragon who attacked him was probably a veteran in that war. But knowing this didn't put Kein's mind to rest.
But before Kein could part what little knowledge he had on the drake, another voice interjected.
"Nina!" A dragonfly appeared from around the house carrying a small pack on his back. "I thought we agreed on no more dragons." Despite having passed right in front of him, the presumed husband didn't notice Kein and disappeared into the house.
"He's not ours!" Nina yelled back. After a response came in the form of "You scared me for a second there," Nina continued. "Sorry about that, Kein. Please, tell me about your-"
"Great Ancestors!" It was the other dragonfly. "Nina, there's a... Giant? I don't know." He was waving a hand in confusion across Kein's body. "What's he doing here?"
"Flash, please. He has a name," Nina said.
"Ah! My bad. Sorry if I offended you." Flash stuck his hand out, "The names Flash! It's nice to meet you."
Kein took the extremely one-sided handshake. "Kein, the pleasure is mine," he wheezed.
Flash put his hands on his hips. "What, uh, what happen to you, my friend?"
"He was attacked by a dragon," Nina filled for him.
"Really?" Flash hm'd. "I guess I can understand that; you do look mighty ape-like. Still though, to be attacked by a dragon and survive! You must be quite a skilled fighter!"
Kein chuckled through a cough. "No, I think I just got lucky."
"Ah. Well, whatever the reason, my wife here makes the best stew around!" Flash exclaimed. "You'll be on your feet in no time!"
"No matter how many times you say it, Flash; soup does not heal wounds," Nina said.
"Well, it certainly tastes good enough to!" The two bickered for a moment over the idea of healing soup, but in the end, they hugged it out. After which, Flash turned to Kein with a worried expression. "Say, it wasn't that dragon there that did this to you?"
Kein coughed. "Ellix? No, he actually saved me."
"Yes," Nina confirmed. "Kein told me the story of how it happened. Quite mysterious if you ask me. We were just talking about him before you interrupted."
"Oh! Well, don't mind me then. Please, continue," Flash said.
"Uh, we met, maybe… ten minutes after I was attacked." Turning, Kein saw Ellix surrounded by the village's members. The swarm had been on him, but Nina had shooed them off before he had become who overwhelmed. "We don't know much, apart from each other's' names."
A mere twenty feet away, Ellix was lying on his stomach, surrounded on all angles by creatures he had quickly labeled the most annoying things he had ever encountered. It was literal torture for him, being verbally harassed by this many voices at once. Most of the questions were so pointless that he questioned how dense these people were for coming up with them!
It was all, "what are you?" or "why are you so big?" or "hey you look like that freak Spyro!" Who is Spyro!? Everyone was talking about him like he was the next best thing to packed lunches! Actually, better!And what's better than a packed lunch?
The only reason Ellix didn't use his powers to escape was because, at some point, someone had asked if he could do anything cool, to which his immediate response was "Isn't the fact that I'm taking your nonsense cool enough?" Unfortunately, none of them got the hint. The only way this actually tied back around to his element was that if he used it to escape, they'd think was it cool; if he used it to suck them into it, they'd think it was cool; and if he chose to push himself and attempt to consume the entire village, no one would know what the heck was going on!
He was literally trapped by spite!
"Hey, hey!" Ellix, very slowly, turned to the voice. "Hey! What's your name?"
"Ellix." He didn't care about this name. "I've said it several times already."
"How old are you?" Another asked, excitedly.
"Seventeen, you weird freak." He didn't care about his age.
"Where do you live?" A third questioned.
"In Avalar, and if you stalk me, I will eat you." He didn't care where he lived!
"Why do you have wings?" This dragonfly was clearly younger than the rest.
Ellix stuttered. "What kind of asininely hypocritical question is that?"
"Hypo… hypocrizifal?" The dragonfly attempted.
"Oh, my-" Ellix buried his face in the dirt. He wanted out, he wanted to get out so badly. To escape the buzz that was. The only problem with that was Kein and his apparently active sociability!
"Can you do anything cool?"
Ellix immediately shot up and whipped around to face the speaker. This dragonfly was older than the rest, evident by his slouched stance and half-lidded eyes. He also had a hat, but that was beside the point.
"Cool?" Ellix asked in a demanding tone.
Despite his aggression, the dragonfly remained unchanged. "Yeah. You're a dragon, aren't you? Doesn't that mean you can do like, fire or something?"
Ellix grinned maliciously. "Well aren't you a big boy for knowing what a dragon is! I bet that gets you mad points at your little club meetings!"
"Mad points…" The dragonfly repeated dully.
"So, you wanna see something cool? Well, here ya' go!" Without a second thought, Ellix outstretched a paw. The air between his claws warped briefly before the area imploded and a small void appeared. The surrounding airborne spectators shook from the portals pull.
The dragonfly began to nod in approval. "That is cool." Unfortunately, Ellix wasn't done.
"You want to see the coolest part?" Without any warning, Ellix proceeded to flick the black hole-esque portal at the person in question. Having not the time to even gasp, the dragonfly was promptly consumed and the portal vanished from sight.
For the next several seconds, Ellix sat there with his arms crossed, staring into space with an expression that said 'I have no idea what you're talking about.' Of course, having witnessed the possible death of one of their village members, the rest of the dragonflies were silent.
A moment later, there was a slow whining sound. With a small pop, the portal reappeared at ground level and spat out the teenage dragonfly.
Moving into a sitting position, the dragonfly began to drone, "Cooooooooool…" before shakily flying off.
Ellix was able to savor the glorious quiet for just long enough to regain his nerve. Which was, in the end, a good thing, seeing as only a second later did the youngest present speak.
"I can do something cool too! Look!" By whatever magical flexibility chitin apparently allowed, the young dragonfly proceeded to bend backward enough to bite her tail. "See?" It said.
Ellix was thoroughly unamused. "That's disgusting."
Twenty feet in the opposite direction, Kein, Nina, and Flash all sat silently as they independently choose how to interpret what just happened.
"He's interesting, to say the least," Kein said, looking away as all the younger dragonflies began to show Ellix the "cool" things they could do.
"That's certainly an understatement," Flash said. "I've never seen an ability like that. Do you know what element he is?"
Kein pulled the bowl from his mouth and coughed. "Flash, I'm going,to be honest. This…" He waved the bowl across the sky. "All of this. It's all very... foreign to me." Flash took on an incredulous look. "A few days ago I would have laughed at the idea of… of-of dragons and elements; mushroom forests and, please don't take this the wrong way, but, sentient dragonflies." When his expression remained unchanged, he continued. "Where I come from, all of these things would be like-" Kein took a moment to formulate the words. "-it would be like a fairytale."
Flash sighed. "Ah, well. Life's a fairytale, isn't it?"
"No…" Kein said immediately. "No, it's not."
Flash blinked. "Ha! Well, that's where our opinions differ Master Kein! Regardless, it was nice to meet you." Flash thrust a hand forward once more, once the shake was complete he began to walk off. "I hope your time here continues to be pleasant." Once he had disappeared into the house, Nina spoke.
"Flash can get excited at times. I hope he wasn't too much for you," she said.
"No, he's fine, Nina. You have all been-cough, too kind to me. It would be wrong if I were to say otherwise," Kein said, curling the collar of his jacket over his face and hacking into it.
Kein's strained breathing afterward caused Nina to give a concerned look. "Something really needs to be done about that." She hm'd nervously. "Unfortunately, I don't think our healer knows how to work with your… physique. What are you planning on doing?"
Kein continued to cough as he spoke. "Ellix sai- something about a tem- temple."
"Oh, yes! The Dragon Temple," Nina said. "Yes, they have very good healers there, but… what if they mistake you for something you're not?"
"I've already thought about that," Kein said. "And I'm hoping Ellix's presence is enough…"
"That's a lot of trust you're putting into someone you've just met," Nina said.
"I know," Kein said, stone-faced. "I just hope I'm not misleading myself."
"Well," Nina said. "I hate to say it but, you are doing yourself any good staying here. I think it's about time you got moving again."
"Agreed," Kein said. "Thank you, Nina. For everything you've done."
"You're welcome, Kein," she said. "Flash! Come out and say goodbye to our guest!"
There was a loud bang from inside the mushroom home. After a few seconds, Flash hovered out holding a cup. "Huh? Oh, leaving, are we? Well, in that case, I'll have to give you one more of these!" Flash promptly stuck a hand out, smiling. "It was truly nice to meet you, Kein! Please, come visit us when you're… better."
"Yes," Nina said. "You're welcome here anytime, Kein."
Shifting himself to his feet, Kein spoke. "Thank-cough, you. Both of you."
Together, the three of them walked over to where Ellix was still being assaulted. When he saw them approach, he stood up and shook the crowd off him.
"Are you done? Cause I'm done," Ellix said once Kein got close.
"Yes, I'm 'done.'" Kein replied in equal annoyance.
"Good, I'm leaving now," the drake said.
"Alright, geez. Hold on." Turning, Kein spoke to Nina and Flash. "Thank you for your hospitality, Nina."
"It wasn't a problem, Kein," she said. "I hope your journey becomes safer than it has been."
"Thank you," Kein replied.
"Hey, where are you two going, anyway?" Flash asked.
"We appreciate the concern, but it is none of your concern," Ellix said abruptly. With that, he turned and walked off, using his wings as riot shields to push back the mob that had formed behind them. "Come on, Kein. We're wasting time."
"Yeah, alright!" Kein shouted. Looking back one last time, he mouthed the word 'interesting' before departing with a wave of the hand. After a short walk, he fell into step with Ellix. "Why didn't you want them to know where we were going?" he asked. When the drake failed to say anything, Kein continued. "You don't have a reason, do you?"
"Do I need a reason?" Ellix snapped.
"Yes!" Kein said. "Those people were being-cough, nice to us, Ellix."
"They were being nice to you," Ellix said.
"That's because- I allowed- them to be hospitable," Kein replied, coughing continuously. "You didn't acc-cough-ept what they were generously offe-"
"I didn't accept anything from them because I didn't want anything from them," Ellix interrupted. "I don't want to get wrapped up in some village business just because I happen to be passing through at the time! They had nothing to offer me so I don't want anything to do with them!"
"That is… cough, incredibly, narrow-minded," Kein said with a scowl.
"Yeah, well. You know what? If you think it's so much better there, why don't you do both us a favor and stay." Malice dripped from his tone.
Kein said nothing, only deepening his glare.
"That's what I thought," Ellix mumbled. "You no goo-"
"Hey! Guys!" The two turned to see Sparx frantically attempting to catch up with them. "Guys! Wait for me!"
"Ancestors, please. What could you possibly want?" Kein could feel annoyance steam off Ellix as he spoke.
Once caught up, Sparx placed his hands on his back and stretched. "Phew. Man, what is your problem? You need to take a chill pill."
Kein blinked. "Cough-how do you kno-"
"Thanks for the advice," Ellix replied. "Now, would you mind explaining why you're bothering us?"
Sparx waved Ellix off. "Bothering? Pfft, please. This is nothing. If you reall-"
"I will kill you…"
Sparx chuckled nervously. "Heh, yeah. That's what I was gonna say…"
Kein sighed. "Ellix, just… What was it you cough-wanted, Sparx?"
"Oh, yeah!" The dragonfly snapped. "I was gonna tell you that the place you're going is, like, gone."
"Gon-" Kein tried.
"And how exactly do you know where we're going?" Ellix demanded.
"Come on! It's super obvious!" Sparx said. "I mean, I used to live here and all, but... There's not much in the way of interesting sights." He leaned in close. "Don't let my dad hear that though."
"Fine. In that case, what do mean by 'gone?'" Ellix asked, ignoring the sarcastic 'thanks' from his left.
"Well, according to a very credible source of mine, the whole temple was ripped from the ground by the Dark Master and suspended above a volcano, thousands of feet in the air." Sparx looked through his skyward arms. "That may sound fake, but I can assure you. It is very true."
Kein coughed. "Who's the Dar-"
"Who said it sounded fake?" Ellix asked.
"I did," Sparx replied, smiling proudly and pointing to himself. That smile quickly vanished. "Wait… you are sly."
"Yeah, I don't need you to tell me that," Ellix said, after which he continued walk.
"Hey! Where are you goin'?" Sparx shouted.
"To the 'super obvious' temple…" the drake replied.
"But I just said the temple was gone. As in not there," Sparx turned to Kein and spoke through his teeth. "And I thought my bro was stubborn."
"I heard that," Ellix quipped.
"Good!" Sparx yelled back. "I think…"
"What are you-cough trying to accomplish, E-cough-llix? If the temple's gone then we nee-cough-eed to find somewhere else to go," Kein said, managing to butt in.
Ellix stopped and whipped around, starting yet another rant with a condescending 'oh.' "Do you really believe what he's saying? Actually, don't answer that." Kein closed his mouth. "And what reason do I have to believe him!"
"Well that's rude," Sparx commented. Unfortunately, this gave him all of Ellix's attention.
"Seriously, give me three reasons as to why we should believe you. Cause I can give you three as to why I shouldn't!" The drake yelled.
Before Sparx could attempt, Kein spoke. "This isn't an interroga-cough-tion, Ellix. He hasn't given us a reason to not trust him!"
"Well isn't that just cute of you!" Ellix said. "Fine, let's assume, just for a moment, that the temple is gone. Kein, back to what you said. Where in the world would we even go? Just like the gnat said, there isn't a lot around here! And unless he has some more very credible knowledge of somewhere else, then you're out of luck aren't you?"
"Actually…" Sparx said.
"Shut up," Ellix continued his previously thought. "Now, let's assume that there was somewhere else. Do we know where it is? No! Do we know how far away it-"
"I mean, this is probably a bad time, cause you two are fighting and stuff, but…" Sparx said, motioning between the two. "I know where you guys could go."
After a few seconds of looking like he was going to individually dissect each part of the dragonfly's body, Ellix asked. "And where might that be?"
Sparx moved back from behind Kein's head. "Oh, uh. You guys could go to… the... dragon city! Yeah!"
Ellix deadpanned. "You mean Warfang?"
"Yup!" Sparx exclaimed. "That's the one! And before you say it. Yes, I do know how to get there."
"Which is?" Ellix asked.
"You just go North from the Swamp Temple!" Sparx said.
There was a long moment of silence while what Sparx just said sunk in.
"Yeah," Ellix said, already knowing what everyone was thinking, "exactly. Anything else you'd like to say?"
Sparx thought for a moment, counting on his fingers and mumbling. "Uh, let's see. Point- wave hands- make a remark… Nope! That is it."
"Kein?" Ellix asked.
Kein threw his hand up for a second. "What is War-"
"Good," Ellix said. "Now that everything has-"
"Wait!" Sparx interrupted "I've got on-"
"Now that everything has been said," Ellix was staring Sparx dead in the eyes, "we can continue."
"Well, that may be true," Sparx said. "But you're not gonna get far travelin' like you are. No siree." Ellix's silent, raised eyebrow prompt Sparx to continue. "See, the temple's still a while off and with the condition he's in," he pointed to Kein and scoffed. "You'd be lucky to make it in a few days at best."
"Okay, I fail to see the problem," Ellix said.
"Remember!" Sparx exclaimed. "I'm a local here! And let me tell you; the wildlife here gets especially rowdy in the later hours."
"Okay… and? It's not like that's really an issue for me and Kein's already been attacked like… what? Four times? By those spiders," Ellix said.
"Spiders? Oh, boy. Don't you need to learn a thing or two," Sparx laughed. "Please, do you really think that there would just be spiders? Ha!" The dragonfly continued to laugh for the next few seconds, breaking his chuckles with mumbles of 'just spiders.' "But seriously, though, not only do you got the Bulb Spiders, but then there's also Frog Weeds and Growths. If I had to put them on a scale… I'd have to say, Frog Weeds at the bottom, then Bulb Spiders, then Growths."
"What's a Gro-"
"Okay, that still doesn't mean much to me," Ellix said.
"It seems that I have to go into detail with you. See this guy right here?" Sparx said, flying up to Kein and placing a hand on his shoulder. "This guy, is like, a fillet steak."
Kein blinked. "How do you-cough, nevermind."
Sparx ignored him. "All cooked up and ready to be served at some fancy in-swamp nighttime feast! Where all the hundreds of Frog Weeds and Bulb Spiders, maybe a Growth, will come up and take a bite out of him!" Sparx flew over Kein's head and made biting noises. "Now, I don't know about you, but I'd rather not get eaten."
"So you're suggesting we stop every night and wait 'till morning?" Ellix asked.
Sparx tapped his chin for a moment. "More or less, yeah."
Before Ellix could retort, Kein began to again cough, ending the fit by spitting up a ball of bloody mucus. "Yeah," he started. "I'm not a fan of the-cough whole 'few days' thing."
"If the temple's gone why exactly does speed matter?" Ellix asked.
"You're the one who wanted to-cough go there in the first place! And wouldn't… Cough- speed be in our best interest? Since we have to go North from there anyways." Kein's said, wiping his mouth.
"Yeah, but it's still a few days off. Are you really planning on pushing yourself to get there faster? Cause the "North" it's exactly going to change all that soon." Ellix said.
"You know, if you asked the local, that's me, he might tell you how to get there faster," Sparx said, crossing his arms.
Ellix turned to Sparx, disgusted. "Should I even have to ask?"
"Well, I mean, polite doesn't seem to be your thing, so, I guess not," Sparx replied.
"Um, hello? Are you dense?" Ellix was pissed, genuinely pissed. "I think this has gone pass politeness! You're literally sitting there with information that would help us get to our location more quickly and safely, yet you decided to withhold it and instead chose to make half-assed remarks and shitty jokes. You're actually being more of a jackass than I am right now!"
"Right-" Sparx's voice cracked. There were a few seconds where he said nothing as he attempted to adjust himself under Ellix's scrutinizing glare. "Uh, first, you are following the wrong river. You got the river part right… at least."
"I don't need your flattery," Ellix said.
"O… kay. So, I'll, uh. I'll take you to the right one…" Sparx then began to float in the opposite direction they had been walking along the current stream. When he encountered a fork they had not noticed, he turned and keep going. After thirty minutes and several more forks, the group pushed through a thick patch of thicket and were presented with an extremely large river.
"I present to you: The Silver River!" Sparx had regained his luster during the travel time. "Or… rather the Gold River! No, but it- The Interracial River! Yeah, that works."
"I'm not even going to-cough, to say it," Kein choked.
"Say what?" Sparx asked. "Bah, nevermind. Alright! Now you guys are going the right way! "
"Thanks," Ellix huffed. "Up or downstream?"
"Down. Boom! Sparx just saved you guys like, half a day!" Sparx said.
"Yeah," Ellix said. "That's nic-" Abruptly, Kein began to cough again. The intensity of the hacks was enough to force him to his knees and eventually left him seated on the ground, groaning painfully.
"I think… it needs to be-cough, be a bit faster than that." Kein's voice was raspy, and it was clear to the two that speaking was a chore.
"Well, I don't know what you want me to do," Ellix said. "I can't carry you that far, so unless something way too convenient were to happen within the nex-" A snap to Ellix's left cut him off.
"Hey! I'm convenient!" Sparx said.
Ellix deadpanned. "I seriously doubt you can do-"
"No, no wait! Hear me out!" he said frantically. "See, when I was younger, my parents used to tell me how they found my bro."
"And?" Ellix asked?
"And, they said he floated in on a mushroom cap, so," he paused for the dramatic reveal, "mushroom boat!"
Ellix raised an eyebrow at Sparx's jazz-hands. Taking an audible breath, he turned to Kein and looked him dead in the eyes.
"You just got out-smarted by a bug."
Aetheo: Hey! I'm an incredibly convenient plot device with mild relation to the base story! Don't ignore me!
Tropes are tools. Tropes are tools. Tropes are tools. Tropes are tools. Tropes are tools. Tropes are tools. Tropes are tools. Tropes are tools. I literally have to say that to myself when writing certain things cause it hurts.
Aetheo: I'm not sure if you see all the ones I point out. Take Ellix, for example:
Farm boy
Different opinions about openness than his family
Arcane powers that nobody understands
More conventionally modern sexual ideals
etc.
See like, the problem I have with tropes is that some of them are literally real life things. Can you consider a real life thing a fucking trope? That just seems hypocritical to me.
Aetheo: Yes.
Trope: /trōp/ a figurative or metaphorical use of a word or expression.
Look out, Google's gonna sue us now.
Aetheo: They pull it from other sites first. Plus, can you be sued for defining a word? There's only so much you can own.
But who's got more money?
Aetheo: They do. But, at the end of the day, Activision probably owns this already so…
And now we have an actual disclaimer. Plus didn't you say something about Gdoc before with the fucking terms of service?
Aetheo: Yeaahh… basically, we're writing words and they aren't ours to make money off of.
Well since we can't make money off this to begin with… I see exactly one problem.
Aetheo: You see a problem? I see an obstacle to be removed.
Activision?
Aetheo: *Kills author*
…
See, it's funny cause we live like… 1000+ miles away from each other.
Aetheo: Don't even bother with the plus, says google. Just… 1000.
Author Fodder:
Fished the two side through opposite ends of his pant…
Let's put some more attention on the Interracial River… what's its story?
Do portals have suction? Or is it a Black Hole? Is this explaining Black Holes? It is a black hole. In the fabric of the universe. DooWEEEEEOOOOOOO
Are we just gonna forget that Kein has like, fucking broken ribs? Shit's dangerous. Like… life-threatening. He gon die. Huh, thank god no one's jumping on him or anything then… That's a really shitty out-of-canon chekhov's gun.