A/N: Random filler chapter with the old crowd, just because I thought it might be a little boring with just Ren/Yamato all the time. Some innuendos and references to sex, but more of a funny variety.
"So, how are you guys?" Honjo started the ball rolling.
"I got kidnapped last week." Yamato said calmly, sipping on his 'magical coffee'. It had become a running joke for them to visit that maid café every so often.
"WHAT?" Four voices chorused in shock.
Yamato grinned. "Some Yakuza thug kidnapped me outside the hospital and forced me to treat a prison escapee at gunpoint. Then another Yakuza thug attacked and caught all of them, and then continued to make me treat the prison escapee at another location."
"That's horrible of them. OUCH! What was that for?" He glared at Ren.
"I'll have you know that the second Yakuza thug paid Yamato 10 million yen for his 'services'."
"Huh, why would a Yakuza thug do that?" Kamiya asked confusedly.
Ichi tapped his fingers on the table thoughtfully. "You're the second Yakuza thug Yamato is referring to, isn't it?" He guessed.
Ren grinned at his ex-sidekick. "As usual, Ichi is the intelligent one." He threw a dirty look at Kamiya.
"Hey, how was I supposed to know?! Yamato said 'Yakuza thug', not Ren!" Kamiya argued.
"Kamiya, I've been in the Yakuza for 8 years. Stop automatically assuming that 'Yakuza thug' equals 'bad guy'!"
"Oh, shut it, you two." Kura scolded. "Yamato, stop making Ren sound like the bad guy. Kamiya, stop speaking before you think. Ren, stop putting words in Kamiya's mouth when you know that he doesn't mean it. Now, everyone, apologize!"
"Sorry." All of them murmured contritely.
Kura smirked. "Ah. That felt good. Never thought that I would end up scolding both my high school leaders one day."
Ren and Yamato grinned at him. All of them knew that they weren't leaders and sidekicks anymore, just a group of friends on equal footing.
"Okay, so what else is new?" Honjo continued.
"Kamiya, what are you modelling for now?" Yamato asked.
"Uhm. Some hair gel thingy, some sports label and some fancy schmancy facial product from Korea."
"Are you saying that you don't even know the products you're endorsing?" Yamato frowned.
Ren, too, shot him an odd look. "Aren't you supposed to be using those products? I mean, consumers are buying it just because you said that they're good!"
Kamiya laughed guiltily. "No, it's all scripted. Oh come on, I've been modelling for at least 5 different brands of facial products this year. If I changed my facial foam every time I switched endorsement contracts, I'd probably end up with a disfigurement!"
"Well… I suppose if you put it like that…" Ren conceded.
"I've got a whole closet just full of samples and whatnots at home by the way, feel free to come by and take whatever you guys want anytime." He winked. "Except for Mr CEO. He can buy his own stuff."
Ren rolled his eyes.
"How's your company doing, Ren?" Ichi asked.
Ren sighed. "Busy as shit. I'm handling both the company and the clan now." He leaned back and massaged the bridge of his nose to get rid of the impending headache. "I barely have time to poop. Maybe I should just stop eating altogether." He joked.
Honjo beamed at him. "And you still came out to spend time with us! I never knew that you loved us so much!"
"I don't." Ren said dryly. "This time is reserved for Yamato. He simply chose to share me with all of you."
"Oi!" Kura and Ichi yelled at him. Ren grinned at them.
"Seriously, guys. Keep the love to the bedroom, will you?" Kamiya asked gloomily.
Yamato laughed. "Just because you can't get any doesn't mean that the rest of us should hold back, Kamiya!" Kamiya's current modelling agency had a strict policy that prohibited any form of dating throughout the entire duration of his employment contract.
Honjo snickered at his best friend. "Wait till I tell you guys about the chick I met last week…"
"What does she sell; fishballs?" Kamiya asked snarkily.
Honjo was unperturbed. "Hmm, you may be right, Kamiya. She does have a real talent with balls…"
Kamiya whined in distress when his jibe backfired. He hadn't gotten any action, on his balls or anywhere else, ever since he signed up with this agency two years ago. It was driving him insane. "Shut up."
Ichi joined in the conversation. "Oh, two days ago, a girl gave me her number when I took her order. I haven't called her yet though… She's totally your type Kamiya, long curly hair and narrow hips… Would you like her number? Oh wait, nevermind."
Kamiya made another unhappy noise and covered his ears with his hands.
Seeing as Kamiya's ears were covered, Yamato decided to give him a live show instead. He pulled Ren towards him and started kissing him passionately.
"Alright, alright! Stop it already!" Kamiya snapped at them sullenly. "Go have your promiscuous sex lives while I suffer in celibacy during the prime of my youth." He covered his face with his hands.
All of them laughed.
"You know," Ichi said slowly, looking at Ren and Yamato. "This is really random, but you two are really sweet." He gave them a small smile.
Kura stared at his best friend as if he had just sprouted a pair of pig ears. "Dude, what's gotten into you? I mean, not that I don't agree, of course…" He quickly added at a look from Ren. "It's just that… We don't say this kind of stuff, you know?"
Ren understood where Kura was coming from, and he too was curious about Ichi's sudden declaration; but he simply could not pass the chance of riling his friend up. "But Kura, Honjo just described a girl playing with his balls. Isn't that a lot more taboo than what Ichi said?" He asked innocently.
"Yeah." Yamato piped up. "So, according to this logic, Ren and I can talk about our sex lives; but we can't talk about how much we love each other?"
Everyone blushed bright red immediately. "Oh my god, guys!" Honjo huffed, covering his ears. "We so did not need to hear that!"
Yamato smirked. "But, I want to talk about people playing with my balls too, Honjo!"
Honjo looked absolutely horrified.
Ren chuckled and covered Yamato's mouth with his hand. "Yamato, you're going to scar him for life."
Honjo shot Ren a grateful look, only to take it back when Ren added, "But you can talk to me about your balls anytime."
The three other men groaned. "Ichi, look what you have done!" Kamiya accused.
Ichi shrugged. "That's Kura's fault. I just said that they look sweet together."
Ren and Yamato smiled at him. "Thanks, Ichi. That meant a lot to us." Their friends might have accepted that they were together, but this was the first time one of them had positively endorsed their relationship.
"If I agree with Ichi, will you promise not to ever mention your… bedroom proclivities in front of me ever again?" Kura asked.
Ren and Yamato exchanged a mischievous glance. "Of course, Kura."
"Okay, I was weirded out at first. I mean, it's not every day that you see your two best friends – whom you have always assumed to be straight – kissing each other right? But over the years, I too have realized that you two belong together perfectly." Kura said sincerely.
Ren nodded. "Thanks, Kura." He said before his eyes glinted roguishly. "Now I don't know the type of girls you have been dating, but they must have been really boring if you thought that all sex was confined to the bedroom…"
"REN!" Kura wailed in dismay. "I don't ever want to go to your apartment ever again!"
Yamato grinned. "It's okay, Kura. The dining table is safe… for now."
Kura, Honjo and Kamiya choked back a tortured sob.
A/N: I absolutely love this chapter, even though it makes almost zero contribution to the storyline. :D (hint: except the dining table bit, hehehe.)