Aizawa

"I have a bad feeling about this, Matsuda—that was way too easy."

I stared across the street at the huge mansion where the supposed forger, Atashi Rei, lived.

"It was sort of weird that he just told us everything we wanted without even asking a question."

"What I really can't believe is that you actually used the 'have you seen my old friend?' technique. I don't know what's more astounding—that you used it or that he fell for it."

"What did you want me to do?"

I looked at him. That black eye was starting to look worse. Or was it just my imagination? It seemed like it was going to eat his whole face.

Really, I didn't know what he should have done. I didn't even know what I would do if I had been in his position. Maybe what he'd done had been the only way, but at the moment everything seemed out of place to me. I had the distinct feeling that Matsuda was keeping something from me, and I had no idea what it was or how I could find out.

"This is a seriously stupid idea." I muttered.

"What are you all mad at me for? It was your idea."

"I never said it wasn't—I just wish there was a better way to investigate this guy. All right, let's go. Make sure you have your gun. This could be a trap." I started to get out of the car. It looked like it might rain soon.

"All right. Um, Aizawa, what exactly is the plan?"

"We're just going to go in and ask some routine questions. Get the fake IDs out of the glovebox, would you?"

He got the envelope out, "I can't believe we had to go all the way back to the station to get these." He checked his watch.

"Don't worry about it. You're not going to miss your date, if that's what you're worried about."

"No. It's nothing." Matsuda handed me the envelope, and we began to walk across the street, side by side.

It was a large, western style home, with gables and stone and brick, the front yard lush and green with bushes and sakura trees. Something about it was creepy.

"Wouldn't it be better if we just snuck in and looked around for business records?"

I glared at him. I didn't like the way he'd been thinking lately: sneaking into places and checking out shady, underworld bars on his own. "That's illegal, you know. We'd have to get a search warrant and everything, and even then there might not be a point. This guy could be clean, you know. After all, we are just going off of a hunch that you have."

"What's wrong with that?"

"No offense, but your hunches aren't generally all that productive."

"Hey, that's not true! It was my idea to check out the shotgun."

"I said generally. I didn't say you've never had a good idea in your life. Now shut up—let's get this over with." I knocked firmly on the door, and we both waited quietly.

For a long time nothing happened. I heard crickets and cicadas chirping in the bushes and a dog howling in the distance, but inside the house everything was still. We glanced at each other, said nothing, then Matsuda reached forward and pressed the doorbell. I thought I felt a raindrop hit the back of my neck, but it was just my imagination.

"Maybe nobody's home." Matsuda said quietly, when still the door didn't open.

Almost the second the words were out, the door popped open, and there was an older man standing there, wearing what looked like a traditional butler uniform. He sniffed and looked at us like we were a couple of dirty children who'd come to say that our ball had bounced into the yard.

I flashed my ID, "Good evening, sorry to bother you. I'm detective Shuichi Aizawa, and this is my partner, detective Matsuda; we'd like to speak with Atashi Rei. Is he home?"

The man sniffed again and said stiffly, "I'm afraid not; however, if you like, I can deliver your message to the master when he returns."

"It would be better if we could talk to him in person. When might he be home?"

"The master is away on vacation for several weeks, sir. I'd let you wait, but you'd be here for quite some time."

"Can we just come in and take a look around?" Matsuda asked.

I shot a warning glance at him.

The butler snorted, "Preposterous. I'm offended by your audacity, detective."

"All right." I muttered, annoyed by the man's posh attitude, "Just forget it then. We'll call back later."

He nodded very slightly and shut the door in my face without another word.

"Geez, he wasn't very friendly, huh?"

I rolled my eyes, and started to walk back to the car, "Another dead end." I felt another raindrop, only this time it was real.

Matsuda didn't follow me, "Wait a minute, Aizawa."

"What?" I looked back to see him sneaking around the corner of the house to the fence. "Matsuda!" I hissed. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I just want to take a look at something. It won't take long." He was already stripping off his jacket, looking up at the trees for a branch to grab.

With a tentative look up and down the street, then at the house, I trotted back to him. "Matsuda, I said no. We're not breaking and entering somebody's house. We'll just call again later."

He had already found a branch low enough and was pulling himself up.

I tried to yank him back down, but he kicked me off and scrambled over the tall, wrought iron fence, dropped down on the other side, landing smoother than I would have expected him to.

"Matsuda!"

"Toss my jacket over."

"Absolutely not. Are you stupid? Get back over here—if we get caught it'll ruin everything we've found out so far!"

"At least watch it for me." He said over his shoulder, as he started to walk away, staying close to the wall as he went.

"I'm not watching nothing for you! I'm going to leave you here if you don't get your ass back over here!"

He obviously didn't hear me, because he just kept going, and soon he was around the corner and out of sight.

"Dammit! Matsuda!" I hissed, trying to keep quiet. "Matsuda, come back!

It was no use. He wasn't going to listen to me—obviously he was determined to do this. When did that guy get so damn stubborn?

At any rate, I couldn't let him do it alone, so I took off my jacket, picked his up, threw them both over the fence where they landed in a heap. The rain was starting to pick up as I made sure my gun was secure, and then jumped up to grab the same branch Matsuda had found. From there, it was easy to pull myself up with my arm muscles, and swing myself over the fence. I gathered up the jackets and started walking in the same direction he'd gone, eyes alert for any sign of cameras or watchmen. So far it was clear. But that didn't mean this was a good idea. Of all the stupid things for Matsuda to decide to do, why did it have to be this? I understood that we were pressured for time and that if we didn't figure this out in less than six days it would mean a lot of problems for the whole NPA, but that didn't mean we could just start doing illegal things whenever we felt like it.

The wall was a lot longer than it looked, and the further back I went the darker it got, and still there was no sign of Matsuda? Had he gotten caught already? That idiot.

"Matsuda?" I whispered, as it began to rain harder. I kept one eye on the windows to the left of me, sure that at any moment one of the servants was going to see me and raise an alarm. "Matsu? C'mon, dammit, where are you?"

Finally I reached the corner of the house and saw a wide, back yard that looked like a garden. There were hedge sculptures and a fountain shaped like a fish in the middle, and dozens and dozens of white rose bushes. "Geez. Fruitcake."

I turned the corner, still sort of distracted by the gaudy sense of home décor, ran straight into someone, almost hard enough to knock myself down.

"Dammit, Matsuda!"

He rubbed his head, "Hey. What are you doing here?"

"You make it sound like you haven't seen me in years." I muttered, readjusting my clothes, "I figured it would be stupid to let you stumble around back here by yourself. Didn't you hear me calling you?"

"No. Sorry." He smiled a little. "I'm glad you came though. I think I found out something important."

"What is it?"

Matsuda pointed up at the window almost directly above us, "Look."

The light was on and I saw a huge, fat man sitting at a desk. He was probably older than me-or else he was just not in very good health-and there was a sharkish quality to his bug-eyes and sharp smile. The butler was standing in the doorway, nodding. I saw the fat man's mouth moving, but couldn't hear what he was saying.

"That him?"

"Yeah. That's definitely the guy I saw last night.
"Whatd'ya' know? He's home after all."

"They shut the window just a little bit ago, but before that, the butler came in. Rei asked 'what did they want?' and he told him we wanted to ask a few questions. Then they speculated for a while about what we were after and how we'd 'found out about it'; then the window closed."
I rubbed my chin. I still hadn't shaved, and it was starting to bother me. "Why would the butler lie about Rei being out of town?"

"Maybe he told him to. It sounded to me like he already knew we were here."

"If he doesn't want to talk to us, then maybe he really did make the IDs."

"How can we prove it if he won't talk to us?"

"Well, we could try to bring him in for a different offense and question him about it then."

"Isn't forgery enough? If we suspect him of forgery can't we just arrest him?"

"Yeah. But here's the thing about that—if he's not responsible for the IDs, or even if, for the sake of argument, he is but doesn't know who he made them for, then we're just wasting our time again. For all we know, this guy is the friend of a friend who wanted some fake IDs made but didn't give a reason for it. He could be just another dead end." I sighed and pulled my jacket back on, turning the collar up to try to keep the rain off my neck. Matsuda's hair was already soaked, hanging down in his eyes. "Let's get out of here for now. There's not much we can do on our own."

He didn't seem to be paying attention to me. "Hey, did you hear something?"

"No. Like what?"

"Like growling…"

"Growling?"

Simultaneously, we turned around. A few yards away was a large, black dog with some brown markings, stubby ears and a blunt snout, full of white, clean teeth. It was blocking the way that we'd come, like it had followed me around the corner.

"Holy crap!" I jumped back.

"N-nice doggy. What is that, Aizawa? Is that a Doberman?"

"I-I think it's a rottweiler."

"Great. This sucks."

"I told you coming back here was a stupid idea."

So far the dog wasn't advancing at all, but it didn't look friendly either. As it crouched there, I heard a deep rumbling in its throat, and a growl rolled off its tongue. Just don't bark. Please just don't let it bark.

"What now, Aizawa?" Matsuda had pressed himself back up against the wall of the house and his hand was on his gun, like he was going to shoot the dog if it came at us.

"Don't you have any more brilliant plans?" I sneered.

"No. It's your turn to come up with something."

"I wasn't aware that we were taking turns—I just thought you were getting hit by one great idea after another."

The dog moved forward, its eyes burning, getting ready to attack. At any moment it was going to leap forward and tear into one of us, or start barking and alert Rei that there was an intruder.

"All right, here's the plan. I'm going to count to three, and when I do, we'll run that way, around the house, and look for another exit."

"What if there isn't another exit?"

"Then we'll double back the way we came."

"Wait a minute…if there's a dog there are probably a few guards, right?"

"We don't have time to worry about that, we just have to get out of here. Are you ready?"

He sounded reluctant, "Yeah, okay."

"Okay." I looked at the dog again. It still hadn't attacked, so maybe it was waiting for the command from a human. In that case, as long as we got out in a hurry there wouldn't be any problems. I started to count, "One…two…Go!"

I shoved Matsuda with my shoulder, pushing him to the left, and he started running, me right behind him.

Immediately the dog started barking and howling; it snarled and came after us. Somewhere across the yard I heard voices, and in the house a light came on, but I didn't know if those things had anything to do with the noise or not.

The dog was right behind us, and I was running as fast as I could. Over my shoulder someone shouted, "Stop right there!" Ahead of me, Matsuda cleared a bush that had been trimmed to look like a dancing rabbit in one easy spring; when I jumped it a second later my foot got snagged on one of the ears and I stumbled right into my partner.

Fortunately we both managed to keep our balance and kept running. Good thing, because now I heard more barking and more voices: there was more than one dog, and at least two guards behind us. If we got caught we'd be in a ton of trouble. Especially if it turned out that this Rei guy had something to do with our case.

The yard seemed endless, like one big, stupid parade of ridiculous yard art and weird, abstract fountains. I ran past what looked like a statue of a teddy bear wearing a top hat and a tutu, and then I started to feel like I was tripping on something. As if that weren't bad enough, I didn't know how long I could run for. I was in good shape, but I also had to face reality. Not like I was old or anything, but I wasn't a kid either. I had great stamina when it came to running, but I wasn't quick like Matsuda was. He was a good ten or twelve yards ahead of me, and gaining distance all the while.

Lucky for me, we were nearing a fence. It was made of brick and overgrown with vines, but it signified a way out. If we could just find a gate or something, and then get back to the car we'd be out of here.

I chanced a glance back at the people chasing us.

Shouldn't have. It looked like five guys, and two dogs. The dogs were right behind me, practically snapping at my heels. If I tripped or even just faltered for a moment they'd have me.

Up ahead, Matsuda reached the wall, and threw his coat over it. He leapt, grabbing the edge, and pulled himself up so quickly he made it look easy, and then he turned around and looked at me, seeming surprised to see me so far behind. "Hurry up!"

"Easy for you to say." Now that I was closer I could see that the wall was about ten feet tall-taller than the last fence-and there were no tree branches to help me along. Plus it was wet. "There's no way in hell…"

I'd never be able to climb that in time. Not before the dogs catch up.

I was about to call out and tell Matsuda to meet up with me later, but then I saw him kneel down, bracing himself with one arm and holding his other hand out. "Come on!"

It's worth a shot at least. I ran straight at the wall, kicked off it to give myself a boost, and snagged his hand, half worried that I was just going to drag him down with me and we'd both get caught.

But then I was looking right in his eyes, and I saw the same strange brand of ferocity in them that had been there when he'd shot Light, something dangerous and determined. That weird courage of his that just sort of showed up out of nowhere sometimes, and I knew he wasn't going to fall. He pulled and I pushed, shoes sliding on the wet brick of the wall, and the next thing I knew, I was right beside him.

"Stop!" Yelled one of the guards.

Matsuda slid off the other side of the wall without so much as a glance at him.

It was pretty far to fall, and he landed roughly. I dove after him and wound up on my knees in the wet grass, but we were both up a second later sprinting away from the house and toward the car.

I got in the driver's side and started to pull out before my partner even had his door closed; we peeled out, and I took the first corner I came to at random. He turned his head and watched for a long time to make sure no one was following us; for about ten minutes I took streets and corners at random, making us impossible to follow.

At last, Matsuda sighed and sat back in his seat, "Whoo. That was a close one, huh Aizawa?"

I glanced in the rearview mirror, just to be safe. "Next time you suddenly feel like wandering onto someone's private property, please try to control yourself. You almost got us caught."

He looked at me, "You were the one who almost didn't make it over the wall."

"I'm not as young as you, Matsuda."

"You could at least be grateful—I saved your butt."

I gritted my teeth and yelled a little, "Are you kidding me, Matsuda?"
"What? If it hadn't been for me that dog would have had you."

"If it weren't for you that dog wouldn't have been chasing me in the first place. Seriously, do you think before you do anything?"

"I'm sorry." He said frivolously. He'd gotten way too used to being let off the hook for a lame apology. "I guess that was a little impulsive. But hey, we got some useful information, didn't we?"

"Yeah," I relented, "a little."

"It's not enough to solve the case or anything, but at least it's something."

I had to admit, we were better off than we'd been earlier today. He did deserve credit for that at least, I just hated his stupid way of rushing into things without thinking about it.

"It's good that we found out about Rei being home, isn't it? And what I heard him say to his butler. Right?"

"Yeah. It's great, Matsuda. It's better than nothing. But it probably wouldn't have done us much use if we'd gotten caught. You need to think these ideas through a little better from now on."

"Guess I'll work on that." He laughed.

Up ahead I saw a fastfood place and realized for the first time just how hungry I was. I hadn't eaten since lunch, and now it was well past six o'clock. In fact, it was almost seven. Normally I wasn't all that into fast food, but I needed something to get my strength back, so I whipped into the parking lot and pulled into the driveway."

"What are we doing?"

"I'm hungry."

He was quiet while I ordered, and then I looked at him, "Well?"

"Well what?"

I wasn't in the mood for that blank expression of his, but I tried not to take my agitation out on him, "Well are you getting anything or are you just gonna' wait until your date with Sayu?"

"Oh, right. That. I'm probably going to cancel that."

"The date? Are you allowed to do that?"

"Yeah. I don't think she'll mind."

"Mind?"

What's going on here? Earlier she made it sound like tonight was going to be really special, and now he thinks she won't mind?

"Uh, Matsuda, this morning Sayu didn't act like this was…optional."

He leaned across me to shout his order into the speaker, and then said, "I'm sure she'll understand."

I shook my head but said no more. It was his love life, not mine. Who knew? Maybe Sayu didn't have him as whipped as I thought she did.

We pulled up to the window to pay and I handed the kid with the headset a few bucks, then watched as Matsuda searched through his jacket pockets, inside and out, then his jean pockets, front and back, and then his through his jacket again before finally looking at me sheepishly, "Uh, Aizawa…I don't think I've got my wallet. Think you could spot me?"
I just stared at him. Was it a joke? "You don't have your wallet?"

"No."

"What about your ID?"

He checked each of his pockets all over again, then shook his head, "No…"

"Even after I reminded you?" I demanded. "Well where is it, Matsuda?"

"At home I guess. Look, if you don't want to lend me money you don't have to."

"No, no, I've got it." I dug out a few more bucks and paid for him as well, muttering, "Just when I think you might actually be growing up a little… you'd better hope it's not in that idiot's garden."

Matsuda looked worried, "You don't think it is, do you?"

"It's your wallet, Matsuda, you're supposed to know."

He fidgeted with the seatbelt a moment before saying, "I'm sure it's at home."

I sighed. "Yeah. Probably." Might as well hope for the best. It was better than freaking out—besides, we couldn't exactly go back and ask if it had been found.

We got our food and I pulled around in the parking lot so I could eat. "Try not to get ketchup everywhere." I told him as he got out his stuff.

"I'll pay you back later." Was all he said.

After we'd been eating a few minutes, Matsuda suddenly said, "So now what?"

"Well," I took a bite and chewed so I could think, "now I guess we'll have Rei brought in for questioning, and maybe I'll send a few guys over to keep an eye on your friend from the bar."

"Miyami?"

"Yeah. Hopefully one of them can point us in the right direction."
"Even if they do," Matsuda crammed a few fries in his mouth, "we only have five days left. Do you think that's enough time?"

"Best case scenario, Rei and Miyami are both working for the same guy-maybe one of them is the guy we're after-we arrest them both and get it out of them all the information we need. If that's the case, we should be able to wrap up by next week.

"If not…if maybe Rei was hired at random and Miyami really did find that shotgun in the dumpster, then we won't get anywhere. We'll just waste time. But…" suddenly my food seemed unappealing, "it's the only option we have right now. We have no choice but to follow this lead."

"Five days isn't very long." He said quietly. "It seems like a lot could go wrong… If L were still alive, or if we could get Near to help us, or," he didn't finish, but I knew he was thinking about Light, because the normal glow of his eyes suddenly faded, "then we'd probably have this finished in just a couple days."

"We don't need L or Near." I said. "We can figure this out by ourselves."

"Yeah, I know, but…it all just seems so risky. If we mess up, who knows what will happen."

"You need to stop relying on other people so much, Matsuda."

He looked down. "I-I know…you're right. But…it's not that easy for me. I'm not tough like you are, Aizawa."

"You're probably tougher than you realize, kid."

"Maybe."

"It's something you've got to find on your own, I guess."

"I guess."

It was weird to hear Matsuda say he thought I was tough. I had never thought of myself as being really tough. I just felt the need to do what was right, and I was determined to not let anything get in my way. I'd joined the NPA not really to be a hero, but to keep trash like the man who was killing NPA officers from controlling the world, to stop people like Kira-like Light-from terrorizing society. It was just my sense of justice, I supposed, that drove me to fight, even when I was afraid or outmatched. I wasn't a runner. Ever since I was a kid, if I ever came up against a challenge or an obstacle, I faced it head on, regardless of any sense of fear or uncertainty; I wasn't the type to retreat or to give up unless the odds were impossible to overcome. Did that make me tough?

I guess…maybe in Matsu's eyes it does…

Not that he was a coward. I'd never seen him run away from anything-the dog from earlier didn't count-instead, it seemed like he was always charging into things without really thinking them through, acting on feelings more than logic. Actually I got the feeling Matsuda was just as tough as I was, but maybe in a different way. Maybe the difference he was seeing between us was due to the fact that he was younger and just simpler all together. Whatever it was, I didn't think it was a matter of strength, but of heart. He was emotional, and soft in a lot of ways. His sense of duty was crisp and his courage was indisputable, but even though he had great marksmanship with a gun and no discretions about carrying or using one, he lacked killer instinct. He was naïve.

"Hey, speaking of being tough," Matsuda spoke up, and I heard the beginning of a laugh on the edge of his voice, "did you see some of those crazy sculptures in that place."

"What, like the dancing rabbit?" I grinned.

He laughed at the thought, "Man, I didn't know what to think of some of that stuff. I mean that guy had to either have a wife or be a total fruit."

"Maybe his mistress has a thing for abstract art."

"Art? Seriously? That stuff was horrible!"

"It's like something you'd see in Misa Amane's bedroom." I agreed, just an instant later I regretted saying it. I hadn't forgotten she was dead…it just didn't occur to me every minute of every day. "Matsuda, I-"

He had stopped laughing, but the smile wasn't gone, and he was looking out the window at something very far away, "It was…wasn't it? Misa…she always had interesting tastes… those dolls, those outfits…Light…"

It felt strange to talk about Light-wrong somehow-so I dodged it. I didn't want to think about Light or Misa Amane. They were both dead now, and for no reason. Even though no one would ever know where Light had gotten the notebook or how it had come to him, we knew that it had ruined his life; and not just his, but his family's lives as well, Misa's life, and our lives. Not just Matsuda's and Mogi's but mine and Ide's as well. So much had been altered because of a notebook.

What was the point anyway?

Matsuda seemed to be thinking the same thing, "A lot of people died because of him…because of Light…I don't really understand how…I mean, it was Light. We trusted him."

"I don't want to talk about this." I decided, reaching for the ignition.

Even then, he just kept staring, "He would have killed us, Aizawa. Right? If Near hadn't figured out about the fake notebook, if I hadn't shot him…he would have killed us."

"I don't know." I did know. He was right. Light had been intending to kill us all as soon as he had a half-way decent chance. I didn't want to admit how angry that made me feel, or accept the pain it caused either. I had trusted that kid too, just like Matsuda had. And I'd liked him. He'd been like a little brother to all of us. To think that…

"Just forget it, Matsuda." I said stiffly, starting the car.

"How can I? I don't know if I can ever forget it, Aizawa…" he looked at me, "can you?"

"I already have."

"How can you say that? Light-"

"Because it's not important anymore, Matsuda. It's over now. Just let it go."

His eyes blazed with frustration, but he just exhaled heavily and sat back.

It was a lie. Every word of it was a lie—Kira had left a mark on each of our lives, and I already knew that it wasn't a mark that could be easily erased, if at all. But I wanted to forget it, so I drove away fast, hoping that somehow I could leave it behind.

Sayu

My phone rang and I picked it up quickly; it was only a little past eight, but I didn't know if Matsuda would call or not.

It was his voice on the other end, "Hi Sayu, it's Matsuda."

"What's up, Matsu? Is there some kind of problem?"

"No. Not really, it's just that I think we're going to have to cancel tonight's…mission."

That really caught me off guard since I'd just seen him this afternoon and he hadn't mentioned it at all, "Really? Why? Did something happen? You're okay, right?"

"I'm fine—but I wound up going with Aizawa to investigate a little, and I had to tell him about last night."

"What? No way, you couldn't have!"

"Don't worry, I didn't tell him about you—as far as he knows I was on my own. Anyway, the lead I was telling you about, I had to tell Aizawa about it and we already checked it out…"

"So is that it then? Was it enough to wrap up the case?"

"No, but we found out enough to get us a little further. Don't get me wrong, there's still plenty that we can do to figure this out before next week, but tonight…I don't feel like it."

"No, of course not. I'm sure you're tired."

"Yeah, I really am." He yawned—it sounded genuine, but it really emphasized the point.

"But can you at least tell me what the lead was?"

He hesitated, and I was afraid that he wouldn't. Technically he wasn't supposed to be sharing information with me, and I got that, but I would still be kind of offended if he didn't tell me after I'd been in this since the beginning. Finally he said, "Yeah, I guess so. See, last night when we were talking to Miyami I heard some guys behind us talking about forging some fake IDs, so I thought maybe he was the man who made the NPA fakes we found at the Prince Hotel murder site."

So the cops murdered at the hotel were fake… I hadn't known that, but I didn't speak up, since he'd probably feel like an idiot for accidentally slipping me that information. He must have been really tired.

"Did you go talk to him then?"

"Yeah. Me and Aizawa talked to Momo and found out where the guy lives."

"And you talked to him?"

He was quiet again, "Sayu, I don't know if I should tell you anymore. It's sort of…er…classified."

"Why not? You said last night that I'm your partner—you said you're going to need my help!"

"I know. I just don't think I should tell you everything I know."

"Matsu, I'm not going to leak any information, you know that; just tell me what happened at the forger's house. Please?"

"Sayu-"

"I'm involved in this case as much as you are--Don't you trust me?"

Silence. A heavy breath. "Yeah. I do…"

"So what happened?"

"We went to see him at his house, but we couldn't get in. It was weird—the help told us he was gone on vacation, but then we saw him through the window."

"Hm? So…he was at home…? He must have realized you guys were cops and didn't want to talk to you for some reason."

"Yeah, that's what we decided. But…Aizawa said we're going to arrest him for questioning."

"What about Miyami? Did you tell Aizawa about him?"

"A little. We're going to put a tail on him for now."

"I see." I thought hard. Miyami had seemed like a nice guy, but he'd obviously been a big supporter for Kira, and if he really had owned the shotgun that had been used at the site, that would definitely be helpful. Still…

"Matsuda, this forger you guys might arrest, what's his name?"

"Huh?" He sounded on guard again, "Why?"

"I'm going to try to do some research on him, just in case he doesn't talk. If we can prove he's a forger it might help."

Matsuda waited, probably weighing the consequences of telling me.

I pressed, "You've already told me this much. Might as well go the whole ten yards."

"Rei." He said at last. "Atashi Rei. He lives in Chiyoda."

Atashi Rei. Why does that sound familiar? "I think I've heard of him?"

"You have?"

"Hold on." I slipped into my computer chair and brought up the internet. After putting his name into a search engine I looked through the information. "I thought so. He's a big charity doner."

"A charity doner?"

"Yeah, I remember a while ago, before you joined the NPA, they did a big article on him in the newspaper. There was a party in his army: my dad was there, and there's a picture of them together downstairs on the mantle. That's how I remembered."

Matsu was quiet a moment before he asked faintly, "Why didn't Aizawa say something?"

"Who knows? Maybe he didn't remember. Or maybe he didn't know about it either."

"A charity doner…"

"You realize that since he's a charity doner it will be hard to arrest him; especially if it looks like there's no reason for it."

Matsuda sounded disgusted, "You're right. Especially since right now the police aren't being looked at very favorable."

Both of us were quiet a moment, then I asked gently, "What are you going to do?"

"What can I do? Aizawa's in charge of the investigation—even if I tell him, he's not going to care enough. We only have five more days, Sayu. It's one of the best leads we have; there's no way Aizawa is going to give it up just because this guy donates to charity. And I agree with him. We've got to get as much information as we can."

"Why? What happens in five days?"

It sounded like he started to say something, and then he faltered, "Nothing. Nevermind."

So he was keeping some aspect of the case from me. I hoped it wasn't too serious.

"I guess I'd better let you go." Matsuda said suddenly.

"Okay. But we're going out tomorrow, right?"

The pause that followed was longer and more annoying than any of the previous ones. I could practically hear him thinking.

"I'm not sure, Sayu…now that Aizawa's involved I don't know if I can keep investigating with you. We're sort of…partners in this investigation."

Maybe if he hadn't used the word partners it wouldn't have hurt so bad, but to hear him say that made me realize that he'd only been investigating with me because I'd made him, as well as the fact that being a regular citizen was working in my favor for this case. Still, I'd taken him seriously when he'd said I was his partner for the case. Apparently he was just going to trade me out for Aizawa now that he'd taken my information and was able to make a real case of it. "Hey, now wait just a minute, Matsuda Touta! How can you say that when you already told me that I'm your partner? I thought you needed my help!"

"Well yeah, but…now that Aizawa's paying attention to Miyami and Rei I don't know what we can do together. He'll notice us sneaking around for sure."

"But Matsuda-"

"It's not just that…one of our men was killed today," he sounded even more tired when he spoke those words, "and I think it was because he found some information. Obviously, whoever's behind all this is watching everything, and he's going to kill whoever he thinks is in the way. I just can't let you get involved any further."

"But you need me! I can go places you can't—Momo and Miyami and all those other people we talked to never would have trusted you if they'd known you were a cop! And they definitely would have been a lot more suspicious if I hadn't been with you! We make a good team, remember?"

"Sayu-"

"No! I don't want to hear the 'I don't want you getting hurt' speech, Matsuda! Kira killed my father and my brother, and even if he is dead, I think I deserve to find out who is doing this just as much as anyone else does—if not more! I want to be sure Kira's dead, and I won't rest until I'm positive, and I'll never be positive until these messages stop popping up around Tokyo! How can I just ignore it when someone is out there saying that my brother's murderer is still alive?"

"I know that, but I just don't think you understand-"

"I understand just fine, Matsuda, and if you won't help me figure this out then I'll figure it out by myself, in my own way."

"No, Sayu, don't do that! You can't!"

"I'm going to find Kira, whether you help me or not."

"But Kira's-"

Before he said 'dead' I turned the phone off and set it down as gently as I could, even though I was mad. I felt sort of guilty for yelling at Matsuda-I knew he was just trying to protect me-but he didn't get how involved I was in this. If there was even just a sliver of a possibility that Kira was alive I had to do whatever I could to make sure he got caught. I owed it to my father and brother.

For a moment, I just sat and looked at the computer screen where the newspaper picture of Dad standing with Atashi Rei was hovering in cyberspace. The look on Dad's face was so easy-going and young somehow. I could barely remember those days since I'd only been five or six, but he looked happy. I wished with everything he was still alive and that this hadn't happened to him. It wasn't fair.

And Light…

Light had been so young, with so much talent and such a bright future. He'd been in love with Misa. He'd had a good career at a very young age, and he'd been good at his job. It just wasn't right for him to be dead like this.

Why did he have to die?

After a while I got up and left my room, going downstairs, I found my mother in the kitchen, sitting at the table and reading a magazine. Or at least, she was looking at it, but her eyes were distant, and I was sure she was thinking about Dad and Light too. I spoke, just to bring her out of it and ease the pain, to remind her that I was still there. "Well, my date just called and he had to cancel. Guess it was a rough day at work."

She looked up, "Oh, that's too bad. Maybe another time?"

"Maybe." I hope so.

"Remind me again, Dear," she shut the magazine, "who is this boy you're going out with?"

"Oh, just a boy I met at school." As a test I added, "His name is Touta."

"Touta?" She paused from putting the magazine back up on the shelf, "That's Matsuda's name, isn't it?"

"Yep. I guess it is."

"Sayu," she looked at me, that worried look I hated so much on her face. I'd always hated worrying my mother, and now it was even worse, since I was all she had. "please tell me that you're not dating Matsuda Touta."

"No." I was able to answer honestly at least, "I'm not dating Matsuda-san. Why?"

"Oh, good." She pressed her hand to her chest and smiled, "It's nothing, just, you know your father and I had always hoped you'd stay away from having police officers as boyfriends."

"Yeah, I guess. But I don't really understand why. Matsuda's a nice guy."

"He's charming." Mom said distantly. "But…a cop is a cop. The problem is," her voice got a little quieter, and she looked out the window, "you never know…when they're coming home, or even if they are at all…"

That settled that. Mom was completely opposed to me dating Matsuda, and I could easily understand why. I felt bad for bringing it up at all. "Don't worry, Mom, I'm not dating any cops."

Not yet.