Tomorrows
Days passed into weeks and weeks passed into months. At the 12th, clearing the backlog of homicides accrued since that fateful day became the only thing holding the team together, or what was left of the team, as Esposito never failed to mention at least once a day. Sure, he and Ryan had always been partners, but partners attached to a larger team.
Since his days in the Army Special Forces, Esposito worked best as a team member, under a clearly defined command structure. Now there was no structure, no team.
He and Ryan were left to work on their own and unsupervised as Captain Montgomery sequestered himself in his office more and more every day. Everyone noticed. He seemed stricken, like a man holding on to a wish would never be granted, a promise that would never be fulfilled. It was obvious he no longer had the heart for the job; he lost it when he lost her.
While the Captain tried to hide his emotions away, Ryan could do little to contain his. He never fully excised the anger he vented that day in the break room. It festered just below the surface and gradually began to reappear in the interrogation room. Soon their partnership routine of "good cop-bad cop" became "bad cop-worse cop", and Esposito began to worry about his friend the day Ryan's forceful hand slap on the table became a slap to a suspects face. His friends needed help, but he didn't know where to turn.
….
Standing on the hill, sharing a toast with his friends, Esposito couldn't help but laugh when he remembered the day help arrived. He never thought it would arrive wearing a brightly colored floral silk dress, with pink Prada heels, a matching handbag, and bright orange lipstick.
…
He was surprised to see her at the precinct. The few times she'd been there before was when her son was in trouble. What trouble could there be now? She looked well. The last time he'd seen her, dressed in black on that somber day, she looked old and frail. Not today. Color was a constant companion for such a vivacious woman and she wore it well. So well in fact that he never noticed the man standing next to her, not until she introduced him. His introduction only posed more questions which she promised to explain once everyone was together.
Lanie, Ryan and Esposito were sitting in a mixture of chairs hastily pulled into Captain Montgomery's office. The impromptu meeting had everyone in the room wondering. When the man accompanying Martha introduced himself as Marcus Beechum, from the top law firm of Schwartz, Beechum and Klein, confused looks were shared. Captain Montgomery relinquished his desk to the lawyer when saw the man struggled to open and remove papers from a large portfolio he was carrying. They all waited in silence as he carefully arranged his papers on the desk. When the reason for the meeting was revealed, there was only more silence, and tears.
….
The last piece of paper the lawyer pulled from his portfolio was a yellow sheet of paper that was torn from a legal pad. It was the same piece of paper that Martha had discovered on her son's desk after her told her that it wasn't about the books anymore. It was the same piece of paper she later found tucked away in his safe. It definitely wasn't about the books anymore. It was about family. No, he wasn't married to Kate, and no, his friends at the 12th weren't blood relatives, but he considered them all family, and he always took care of family.
The lawyer informed them that the paper was a hand written codicil to Castles' will. A hand written, unsigned, not legally binding codicil to his will. The original will had been read and probated months earlier. The lawyer explained that he was there at Martha's request to legally fulfill all of Castle's final wishes.
Martha interrupted the lawyer, profusely apologizing for the month's long delay. She rambled on about deeds and titles and taxes, and spending so much time in the lawyers offices that she almost felt like wearing stark blue Jackets, pencil skirts and (gad!), pantyhose. Mr. Beechum managed to wrestle the conversation away from her and back to the task at hand. He said he would read Mr. Castle's list and then explain to each of them what would happen legally, and the papers they would have to sign. The four stacks of papers now sitting on the Captain's desk looked intimidating. No one spoke, so he began to read.
"I leave my house in the Hampton to Katherine Beckett." "The house is to be sold." "Half of the proceeds will go to Kate, to do with as she pleases, and the other half will go to the Johanna Beckett Scholarship fund."
"Ferrari to Javier Esposito."
"43ft Riviera Flybridge sport fishing boat goes to Roy Montgomery,"
"My sixty percent equity ownership of the Old Haunt to Lanie Parrish"
"Deed to my small start up winery "Northern Realms" to Kevin Ryan."
That was all, just a few scribbles on a piece of paper, made in the moment and put away for later. Esposito was sure that when Castle put his pen to that paper he never expected his few "simple" gifts would become an opportunity. They would become the way out that some of his friends so desperately needed.
….
Captain Montgomery was the first to seize that opportunity. He announced his retirement six weeks later. Ryan and Esposito were relieved. He never seemed to rebound from Kate's death and they both had begun to worry about his health. He actually looked happy at his retirement party when he announced that he was starting up a charter fishing service. The lines in his face had lessened and stood a few inches taller. His invisible burden seemed to be lifted.
His burden never lifted. He just managed to bury it again. At the first anniversary meeting at Beckett and Castle's graveside, they could all see he still carried it as he trudged up the hill towards them. The closer he got, the smaller he became. He stayed only a moment. Eyes red rimmed, he turned and walked away. He never made the yearly pilgrimage again. Esposito chartered Montgomery's boat a year later and when he had the man alone and far from the sight of land, he asked him why.
He felt his question strain their friendship. "I can't." It was the only thing Montgomery said for the rest of the trip. Back at the dock Esposito tried one last time. He stepped off the boat and turned to face his friend. "Whatever it is, I'm sure god will forgive you." Montgomery met his friends gaze. "It's not god's forgiveness that I need." After that encounter Montgomery's friendship dwindled to a yearly Christmas card. Sometimes, the only thing to do is to just let go.
…
Ryan was the next one to benefit from Castle's generosity. With new deed in hand Ryan and Jenny took a weekend road trip to visit their new winery. They quickly fell in love with the place. It seemed to be all that Ryan talked about at work. Vintages, tasting, bottle type, fermenting, the weather. His focus was barely on their cases anymore. After a late night on a particularly difficult case, Esposito was struggling to build theory with his partner, but all Ryan wanted to talk about was building a new row of arbors. That's when Esposito lost it and flippantly tossed off his loaded question. "Dude, why are you even working here anymore? Why don't you just quit and go work at your winery." He never expected his partners reply. "You know what? I think I will." Ryan turned in his papers the next day. What everyone at the precinct believed to be a rash decision, turned out to be the best decision of Kevin Ryan's life.
It was hard to stay angry with dirt on your hands, the rain on your face and new life sprouting forth from all your hard work. Ryan had found his peace. He still had plenty of stress. Money was tight the first few years and his livelihood was always at the mercy of nature's unpredictability. Too much water, not enough sun, drought, aphids, sure these were constant worries, but it was nothing compared to the banquet of death that had been served up to him on a daily basis while working homicide. He was glad those days were over. He could never thank Castle enough. He did try. He named his newest vintage of wine and his firstborn son after the man.
…..
It was Ryan's leaving, and not the Ferrari that prompted changes in Esposito's life. But, having the Ferrari definitely helped. He and Lanie enjoyed the car for first few months that they were married, but the novelty soon wore off. The car was all but forgotten as Esposito struggled to break in two rookie detectives. And when the reality of Lanie's pregnancy arrived, he knew things were never going to be the same. His old team was gone and what they had together could never be recreated. Work now only served to remind him of what he'd lost. It was time to move on. It was time to take the Captains exam and it was time to sell the Ferrari.
The Ferrari quickly became a mini van and a two story Victorian brownstone, and Captain Esposito could not have been happier. The proceeds from the car and the extra monthly income received from The Old Haunt made life comfortable enough for Lanie to be a stay at home mom when their daughter Kaitlin arrived. And when his son was born a year later, Esposito was proud to name him Luis Ricardo in honor of their dear friend and benefactor.
…..
The wine was almost gone, tears were starting to dry and the children were getting bored.
"Mom, can we go now?" "Mom…can we?" Kaitlin asked for the ump-teenth time.
Her pleading made little Luis afraid that he might be left behind, so he stood in front of his mother, quietly reaching upwards, begging to be held. She gave in and swung the boy on to her hip.
"Kaitlin, we're not leaving yet."
He daughter crossed her arms, and pouted, kicking at a pinecone as she turned tromped away. A few seconds later she was running off laughing as she and John-John played a game of "kick the pinecone" among the headstones and down the hill. Luis squirmed to be let down. Lanie sighed and put him back down, watching as he ran down the hill after his sister. Looking past the children to the bottom of the hill she noticed a car pulling in behind her mini van. She couldn't see the woman's face that exited the car and started to walk towards them, but she definitely recognized the long red hair.
"Alexis!" Lanie called out and waved and the others turned to look. Everyone called her name in surprise. The enthusiastic greeting had her running the rest of the way up the hill and into a bevy of hugs.
Lanie was the first to question her arrival. "Girl, what are you doing here? You said you were on shift today and that you couldn't get off."
"Well, when begging and pleading didn't work. I offered to trade my single shift for a double. The other interns were practically fighting each other to be able to trade with me."
"Oh, sweetie I'm sorry you had to do that." Lanie knew what a struggle it was for first year's to find sleep, much less any time off.
"I'm not." Alexis replied with a proud smile. "Nothing would make me miss this day."
Looking around at her extended family, Alexis noticed the empty wine bottle and empty glasses.
"It looks like you guys have been here a while. I just need a second Lanie, and we can all head back to your place for lunch."
The children heard the word lunch and each began rooting for their favorite food.
"Hot dogs, I want hot dogs" bellowed Kaitlin.
"Mac cheese, mac cheese!" Luis chimed in.
"Aww..dad not hot dogs." John-John whined. "I want peanut butter and jelly."
Lanie ignored their pleas. "Don't let them hurry you Alexis, take all the time you need."
Alexis gave Lanie another hug before heading to their memorial. She was glad her father had found love again in his life. She only wished he could have shared it with her. She had always shared everything in her life with her father and she wasn't about to stop now. As she stood in front of the massive headstone, she reached out and set her most treasured possession atop the thick granite ledge.
Her childhood had been spent surrounded by so much death. Sure, it was mostly fictional death created by her father's passion for mystery and fascination with the macabre, but when he began chasing real killers and cheating death with Detective Beckett it became all too real. As scared as she had been of her father dying, once he was gone, she noticed that death was gone too. And once it was gone, all she could see ahead of her was life…and she wanted to save it.
As her hand pulled away from the headstone it revealed a small white nameplate with the name Dr. Alexis Castle engraved deeply into the plastic. "I love you dad," she whispered. She hurried back to the others with a smile on her face and tear on her cheek.