Sakura spent the next week in deep thought.
She still had duties at the hospital, and was assigned a solo assassination mission that lasted two days – but the rest of her time was spent destroying training grounds or sulking.
Being the academic person she was, she even tried working it out through reason.
She even resorted to writing out a list of pros and cons for each of the boys.
Pro # 1
Shino: He loved her.
Iruka: He loved her.
But could she love either of them back?
She had loved Shino, sure... But he hadn't been there. And she knew that was her fault, but could he understand? She had so much darkness in her – she didn't want to corrupt him.
'You seem adamant on patronizing me...'
His words came back to her and made her want to punch something. Perhaps he could handle it? When she explained her date with Oboro back during the chunin exams he'd told her to do what was necessary.
Just like Iruka.
They'd both deal with their jealous and protective natures in order to see her safe.
And Iruka was just so... perfect. He was nice. Patient... she'd already gone through his good qualities several times, and it just depressed her more.
She really didn't deserve him. Or him.
Both of them were too good for her.
Even the fact that Iruka had left her with time to think this over – despite her original anger – told her what a good man he was.
He didn't just storm out. He agreed to meet her once she'd figured it out...
But Shino, too, stood back and let her stay with Iruka without a fuss if she was going to be happy... Even though he wasn't happy.
She fisted her hands in her hair in frustration.
She'd be better off on her own.
Even though she would be lonely...
Still, being lonely wasn't a reason to be with someone.
She'd already hurt both of them.
And they deserved so much better than her.
"Sakura-chan!" her thoughts were interrupted by an ANBU landing in front of her. "You've been summoned by the Hokage!"
"Thanks Yugao," she said before bounding off.
AAA
She nodded a greeting towards Shikamaru, before turning her attention to Tsunade.
She threw the pinkette a scroll.
"The two of you are going on a diplomatic trip to Suna," she informed them. "Sakura, you're team leader."
Sakura unrolled the scroll and glanced across the contents.
"A month?" she questioned. "That's a little long."
"Longer than most," Tsunade agreed. "But Baki's been trying to get you there for a while. Something about Gaara?"
Sakura raised her eyebrows.
"Maybe he's sick?" she shrugged. "Very well. Shikamaru, I'll meet you in two hours by the main gate."
He nodded in agreement and they split ways.
A month?
She still hadn't spoken to Iruka since he left...
She huffed a little. Still, maybe this would be good for them.
Packing her bags quickly, she wrote out a note.
She looked at the time... Shit... There was only about ten minutes until they needed to leave.
Much longer and they wouldn't get to the border by nightfall.
Iruka would be in class for hours though...
Skipping across the rooftops, she scanned the streets for someone she knew.
There.
"Kiba!" She leapt down and landed in front of him.
"Hey Sakura-chan," he greeted her warily.
"I need you to do something for me," she pressed the envelope into his hands. "Take this to Iruka. He'll be at the Academy."
He leapt back.
"Hey! I'm not going to go deliver your love letters for you," he refused, horrified she'd even ask.
"It's not – Look, I'm going on a mission for a month okay, and I need to leave now."
"Why don't you just leave it at home? He lives with you doesn't he?" his eyes narrowed, and he leaned forwards to sniff her.
She pinched his nostrils before he could get a good whiff.
"Stop doing that, you pervert – it's creepy!" she snapped. "He moved out temporarily."
"Why?" he blinked, trying to get her to release his nose.
"We're on a break," she snapped. "No thanks to you. Now promise me you'll take it to him."
"Okay, okay," he agreed. "Geez, you're moody."
She just glared at him.
"Hey, I'm sorry already!" he defended himself. "But you have a habit of dropping bombs. What was I supposed to do?"
"Keep your trap shut," she growled. "Anyway, I've gotta go. Bye Kiba. Bye Akamaru."
She petted the dog's head briefly before disappearing once again.
"Friggin women," Kiba whined, heading towards the Academy.
AAA
Shikamaru knew Sakura was in a foul mood.
She kept them running at a ridiculous pace, and didn't talk the entire way.
Even when they stopped to set up camp she did so moodily.
Shikamaru chose to keep to himself as well. She was his friend, but that didn't mean she wouldn't hit him.
And when she was pissy, her punches could break bones...
Hell, she even shot a squirrel with a senbon, cooking it up for dinner. She wasn't usually the type to eat cute furry things, but apparently that didn't matter today...
"Go to sleep, Shikamaru. I'll take first watch," she ordered and he obeyed silently.
He was surprised she didn't wake him up until morning.
"Eat quickly. I want to keep moving – we'll have to take a break in the afternoon," her voice was hard and blank. "We'll be well into the desert by then and I don't want you dying of heatstroke."
He hesitated but obeyed again.
This was getting troublesome.
They kept travelling in silence until it became the hottest part of the day.
Sakura set up a wind breaker to shelter them and keep the sun off, and they sat in the shade taking sips of water and eating their lunch.
"I don't mind your moods," Shikamaru said suddenly. "But if you're like this when we get to Suna you could cause us some problems."
She looked at him and blinked. He'd half expected a tantrum and a punch to the head, but she surprised him.
"Sorry," she sighed. "I've just been thinking."
"Can't have been anything good," he commented blandly, staring up at the clouds.
"I told Iruka about Shino. He moved out. Maybe temporarily. Maybe for good."
Shikamaru turned his gaze to her and stared.
"This is why I hate relationships," he said after a while. "They're too troublesome."
"I'm beginning to think the same thing," she said bitterly.
"...I thought you guys were pretty happy," Shikamaru said after a while.
She shrugged. "We were. Doesn't matter though. I'll be able to focus on my training more without him. And he'll be better off without me. They both will."
Shikamaru gave her a sidelong look. "Whatever you say."
It really wasn't his problem.
AAA
They arrived the next morning and handed over their passports.
In Sakura's time she never had to go through all the security checks, since she was pretty famous here, but now... she was just some unknown Konoha nin.
They reported to the board of elders that were overseeing Suna in the absence of a Kazekage and gave them their warmest greetings.
She had never liked many of these elders... they had been the ones to approve the assassination attempts on Gaara, after all. But she knew they weren't evil: just traditionally minded, fairly strict and over cautious.
She spared Baki a smile though.
"You also have our warmest greetings," one of the elders addressed them. "It is an honour for us to have you here and we hope you will enjoy your stay. Baki-san will show you to your rooms and you will be informed of your expectations."
"Thank you for your generous hospitality," she bowed politely, Shikamaru doing the same behind her, and they followed Baki out of the room.
"I'm glad you came," Baki told her as they were on their way. "I requested you on Gaara's behalf."
"He asked you?" Sakura asked, a little shocked.
"Not as such," Baki smirked. "He's been having trouble keeping in control. You're a good medic nin, and you also calm him down – he's always going over your letters when he's stressed. It was Temari's idea."
"I'll be glad to help him in any way that I can," she assured him. "What else exactly are we here for? I was surprised we were requested for a month."
"Didn't want to stay that long?" Baki frowned.
"By all means, no," she shook her head. "I'm actually glad – I'm hoping to be able to get Kankuro's opinions on some poisons I'm in the middle of developing.
"There's a festival in a week to honour the alliance between our countries. You'll be expected to make an appearance. There are also some important daimyos making the trip for it. They want to meet the one that is expected to take over from Tsunade."
She laughed dryly.
"No pressure then."
Baki smirked back at her.
"Here is your building," he told them, as they walked up to it. "You two will have your own suite with two rooms. The other rooms will be taken up by the daimyo as they arrive. I hope you know how to behave yourselves."
"Of course," she gave him a wicked smile. "And I suppose you will be very busy too, Baki-san? You'll have no time to have a friendly spar to build up relations between our two great peoples."
"I wouldn't want to disgrace my country by losing," he replied in kind. "I've heard of your reputation. No thanks."
"Ever the spoil sport," she pouted and he laughed.
"These are your rooms," he let them in and gave them the keys. "And this is your schedule. I'll send the brats over as soon as they're ready."
"Thank you Baki-san," she gave him a parting smile, and they went about unpacking their things.
"I didn't know you were so friendly with them," Shikamaru spoke, once they were alone.
"I've been writing. Mostly to Gaara, but I keep in contact with Temari, Kankuro and Baki as well," she informed them.
"Ah."
Almost immediately, sand started filtering into the room, taking the shape of Gaara's form.
"That was quick," Sakura noted, grinning at the red haired boy.
"I've been waiting for you," he replied in kind.
"You've grown a lot, Gaara."
"So have you, I see."
"You know Shikamaru, right?" she introduced her friend, and the red head nodded. "I still haven't had a shower yet – would you mind waiting around?"
"Of course," he took a seat and stared at the other boy as Sakura disappeared into the bathroom.
Not ten minutes later she re-emerged feeling clean and much happier. She took a seat next to him, noting Shikamaru's awkwardness.
"How have you been, Gaara?" she asked.
He just shrugged.
"Naruto has been improving a lot," she told him, and started chatting about her teammate, the young boy attentive to every word.
There were very few people who would talk to him like this. He had become naturally reserved due to his seclusion and wasn't exactly adept at making conversation.
But Sakura's largely one sided conversation gave him great peace – especially hearing about Konoha's jinchuuriki. He was glad to hear news of the blonde.
Within an hour there was a knock on the door.
Shikamaru answered it, and let in Gaara's two siblings.
"Sakura-chan!" Kankuro greeted her, giving her a bear hug. "I've missed you!"
"Let go of her, you idiot," Temari thwacked him over the head and have the girl a hug of her own. "It's good to see you again."
"I want one," Gaara said suddenly.
"Huh?" they all looked at him.
"I want one," he repeated, looking embarrassed.
Sakura looked back at the others. What?
Oh.
Smiling, she went and gave Gaara a firm but gentle hug.
He wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes, content.
"Aaw," Sakura ruffled his hair a little. "I wish I could steal you away as my little brother."
"Oi, no kidnapping!" Kankuro grinned at her.
"Sakura, have you eaten yet?" Temari cut in. "We should take you two out, show you a bit of Suna."
She agreed readily, and the five of them wandered the streets together chatting happily.
The afternoon passed quickly, and Shikamaru eyed the pinkette warily. She had snapped from moody and depressed to happy and perky as soon as she had entered Suna's gates. She was playing the absolute perfect shining example of what an ambassadorial representative should be.
Eventually, as the day dragged on, they returned to their suite. Kankuro and Temari left them, but Gaara was hesitant to go.
"I've got a headache," he said, remembering the technique she'd used on him long ago.
She sat down on the couch and motioned to him.
"Come here," she instructed, and he sat on the floor in front of her.
Gathering chakra into her fingertips, she started to massage his scalp.
"You need to drink more water, Gaara," she scolded him. "It helps with headaches. And a lot of things. You're bodies mostly made up of water, you know."
He hummed in response, choosing to enjoy the massage rather than reply.
Eventually, he too left and Sakura sagged back in the couch, putting her feet up on the table.
She suddenly looked exhausted.
"Sakura-chan?" Shikamaru prompted a little warily. "You alright?"
"I miss him."
He nodded in understanding, and they each went to their own respective beds.
He wasn't sure if he wanted to know which 'him' she was talking about.
AAA
Meanwhile, back in Konoha, Iruka was moving his things out into an apartment of his own.
This gathered a little attention, particularly since the questionable relationship between the Academy Instructor and the Cherry Blossom was still the favourite topic of discussion.
Yugao intercepted him in the hall.
"You sure that's the best idea?" she challenged him. "Moving out while she's on a mission?"
He shrugged.
"There's trouble in paradise, then?" she continued, and he shrugged again, really not wanting to go into it.
"You're not getting away with that," Yugao frowned. "Sakura's my friend and I want to know what's going on with her. I mean, you're a better choice than Zabuza, but I've gotta keep my eye on her, ya know?"
He froze.
"Zabuza?" Iruka turned on her. "Why would you say Zabuza?"
Her face drained white.
"You know what? I don't want to know," he hissed, kicking the door shut.
"They, they weren't together or anything," she defended desperately. "I just found them asleep on a couch together once. But it was just a misunderstanding. No harm done right? Plus, it was ages ago."
"Save it," he growled.
AAA
It took him a day of stewing on Yugao's slip before Iruka decided to hunt down Shino.
He really didn't want to talk to his ex-student, but he figured that the Bug Boy might have some insight for him.
He tracked him down at one of the training grounds, along with his team.
"Shino," he greeted them. "I was wondering if I could talk to you sometime."
Kiba, Hinata and Kurenai stared at him shamelessly.
Shino turned slowly to the older man.
"I heard you moved out of Sakura's apartment," he stated calmly.
"That's not what I wanted to talk to you about," he shifted restlessly.
"I'm here to train," Shino glowered at him. "You can stay if you fight me."
"Shino-" Kurenai made a move to interfere, but Iruka interrupted with his answer.
"Fine," he frowned. "I'll fight you, and then we can talk."
Kiba, Hinata and Kurenai stood back. They'd never seen the two of them look so deadly before.
Especially Iruka, who was usually kind hearted – he could be fearsome as well, however, when he was in a bad mood.
Shino had also been in a foul mood since he found out about his love and his old teacher.
This was not going to end well...
AAA
The two fought all out for almost two hours before they both collapsed, exhausted, both with various injuries.
"Why did you come here?" Shino growled, panting.
"I wanted to know if Sakura was ever with Zabuza," the scarred man breathed heavily.
"Zabuza?" the Aburame repeated. "I doubt it. They've been close, but she said their relationship was like that between her and Kakashi when I asked her."
Iruka breathed out a sigh of relief.
"Why don't you ask her yourself?" Shino asked him. "She wouldn't lie. If you can't trust her you shouldn't be with her."
"She didn't tell me about you until a week ago," he grimaced. "And I can't ask her – she's on a month long mission. I wanted to know now."
"Why are you leaving her?" Shino demanded. "She was adamant she wouldn't let you go when I talked to her."
Iruka rolled his shoulders, cracking them several times.
"She said you wouldn't leave. You wouldn't give up on her," Shino's expression darkened. "So why are you leaving?"
"I didn't know about you before," he shot back, but the force wasn't behind his words. His expression changed from angry to sad in an instant. "She said she loved you. She's never said that about me."
They were silent for a while, their audience still giving them concerned looks from the other side of the training field.
"If you don't love her, leave her," Shino said. "I love her. I want her. And if you're not making her happy, I'll take her."
Iruka glared at him.
"It's her choice who she wants."
"Not if you treat her badly," Shino growled back at him.
AAA
Back with Shikamaru and Sakura, the days passed slowly.
During the days they made their presence known, spending time with the Sand Siblings as they arrived, or having polite discussions with the various daimyos as they turned up.
Shikamaru got a little annoyed with the old men, as they poured their attention down on Sakura, inviting her out to dinner and to various places.
Much to his amusement, however, she always greeted them with firm handshakes that they took a few minutes to recover from.
"They know I'm dangerous," Sakura later explained to him. "They just want eye candy. I don't mind giving them that. But the handshake states a warning not to cross any boundaries. I won't have any trouble from them"
She also spent hours with Gaara, performing all of his medical check ups and helping him rest his brain.
To all outsiders, she seemed a perky, happy individual... but Shikamaru watched the facade fall each night.
He saw her pumping chakra through her fingertips and into her eyelids to hide the puffiness that was obviously caused from excessive crying.
He had even attempted to breach the topic a few times, but kept backing out at the last minute.
"Hey Sakura..."
"Yes?"
"What... What do you want to get for lunch?"
...
"Hey Sakura..."
"Yes?"
"I... When was that meeting again?"
...
"Hey Sakura..."
"Yes?"
"How do you feel... about ... uh... training? Do you want to go train?"
...
It was just too troublesome.
He wanted to help his friend, but he had no idea what to do.
'Women...'
AAA