This is probably going to be quite a sad one, but it's an idea I've had bouncing around in my head for a while. Maybe I'll make a follow up part to it - let me know if that's something you'd want.
None of my fics are beta'd, so all mistakes belong to me.
Enjoy!
x
Felicity knows how to fight, and she uses that to strike a deal to give her friend her life back. Even if that means walking away from Starling City and all her loved ones.
x
"Sara, it's time to go." Nyssa's voice called across the foundry to where her lover was saying goodbye to her friends.
As payment for the league's help in taking down Slade Wilson, Sara had agreed to return to them willingly, once again leaving behind her friends and family. It's not something she really wanted - being an assassin had never fit into the plan that she'd made for her life - but it was what she needed to do, the right thing to do.
Just as she began to move towards the door of the foundry, possibly for the last time, a gentle hand on her shoulder stopped her and she turned to find the other blonde woman standing behind her.
"Just, wait here for a second, okay?" Felicity told her, squeezing her shoulder briefly before walking past her, "Nyssa, we need to talk."
The IT girl and the master assassin moved away from the group together, talking in hushed voices. It shocked Sara to see Nyssa so open and gentle towards a girl who's practically a total stranger to her, but then she realises that that stranger is Felicity - the girl tends to have that affect on people.
"What do they have to talk about?" Oliver asked, eying the women standing across the room, talking at a volume that even he can't hear.
"I have no idea." Sara replies, honestly.
.
"You want to offer yourself in Sara's place?" Nyssa asked, staring at the young woman before her as if she had grown a second head.
The heir to the demon had expected little of the blonde; she was tiny and fragile, and Nyssa could only assume she was kept around because of her incredible intellect. Now, though, she sees the heart beneath it all, the kindness. The loyalty that seeps through her every vein and sparks an uncomparable bravery within her.
"I do." Felicity replied, keeping her head high and her shoulders back in a way that made it absolutely clear how serious she was being.
"Why would you want to do that?" Nyssa was not the type to worry over things, but her curiosity was spiked by the thought of such a pure creature giving herself willingly to the darkness.
"I know it's not what you want to hear, because you love her and you want her to return with you, I know that," the IT specialist began, staring the assassin straight in the eyes, "But Sara has a family here, people who love her and have lost her too many times already to have her taken away from them again."
"And you don't?" Nyssa raised an eyebrow, finding it hard to believe that this girl wouldn't have people around to cherish her and miss her if she were the one to leave.
"Outside of this room, there is no one. No family, very few friends, most of whom I've been neglecting since taking on my position on Oliver's crime fighting team." She sighed, running a hand through her hair, tiredly, "I can count on two hands how many people truly mean something to me in this world."
And she could: Oliver, Diggle, Sara, Roy, Lyla, Thea, Detective Lance, Barry, Walter. Nine people, none of whom she'd known two years ago - excluding Walter, who she'd been working under for a few years prior to her introduction to Oliver Queen.
In such little time, those nine had wormed their way into her heart so easily and had quickly become the most important people - the most important anything - in Felicity Smoak's life. Felicity knew that she would take a bullet for any one of them, and that knowledge gives her a rush of both pride and fear, but she wouldn't have it any other way.
"That is a very big sacrifice to make, Miss Smoak." Nyssa said, eventually, drawing the blonde out of her thoughts.
"I know, and I am willing to make it." She responds almost instantly, her back straightening as her voice takes on an even deeper tone of seriousness, "I can fight, too - not quite assassin level, but I'm good and I pick things up fast."
Nyssa looked her over for a moment, assessing her. It was true that shed had hopes of returning to the league with Sara, but there was also a certain level of guilt that weighed down on her chest when she thought about taking her away from her family. She knew Sara didn't want to come with her.
Then, here was this girl - so strong and so noble and so brave - offering herself up willingly, giving up her own happiness for that of her friend's, and Nyssa saw no other choice.
"I accept your offer." She told Felicity, then reached out to place a hand on her shoulder, "And in repayment for your sacrifice, I will ensure you never have to take a life in cold blood. You will fight along side others, including myself, but you will never be assigned a kill order."
Felicity let out a relieved sigh and allows her shoulders to sag as the tension rolled out of them. That, the idea of taking a life, becoming a murderer, had been the fatal flaw in her plan, the one thing she dreaded more than anything else.
"Thank you." She breathed, tipping her head forward the slightest bit.
"No, thank you. Thank you for saving her."
x
A silent agreement was made between the unlikely pair that the news of Felicity's departure would remain a secret until the very last moment. Both women knew the reactions they'd receive if they were to tell anyone of the IT girl's intentions to take Sara's place in the league.
Nyssa spoke to Sara, told her that she would not be required to return to Nanda Parbat with her, but gave no reason as to the sudden change in plans. The Lance sister seemed relieved, though, and was more than happy not to ask questions for fear of Nyssa's mind being changed - it made the assassin all the more grateful for Felicity's offer to take her place.
All she really wanted for Sara was happiness, if this is where she got it then so be it.
That was the only good bye Nyssa would have to make before they left and it made Felicity envious.
The league had been informed of the change of plans and had slowly come around to the idea, agreeing to give them more time to return so their newest member could collect her things and bid farewell to her loved ones.
Two days. Two days to say good bye to her friends without them knowing it was a good bye. Two days to pack up her whole life and walk away. It was a lot to take in such a short time, but she knew what she was signing up for.
And, so, Felicity set to work on saying her good byes that weren't really good byes but also kind of were.
That thought alone gave her a migraine.
x
Her first talk was with Walter, thinking it would make things easier if she could start out the whole process over the phone rather than in person considering he was still in London.
She was wrong.
They chatted like they so often would, like there was nothing wrong, like she was just phoning to say hi and see how the older man was doing. She only let the conversation shift into more serious territory towards the end, when she thanked him so, so much for everything he'd done for her and reminded him of how good a friend he was, that she missed him so much.
Would miss him so much.
He'd asked her if everything was alright, before returning the sentiments and allowing their call to come to an end.
She'd cried for an hour after that.
.
Where a smile for the nurses she recognised usually sit, there was a deep frown set firmly in place upon Felicity's lips. She walked through the hospital corridors with her arms held tightly to her sides, fingers twitching, and her head bowed.
After her call to England, she'd gotten aboard the first train to central city and walked the familiar path to where she knew her friend lay comatose - he's sleeping, damnit.
A familiar nurse told Felicity that there hadn't been much change in his condition since she'd last visited, though the small signs he had shown had all been positive. Under normal circumstances, she'd have smiled and thanked the nurse, but that day she chose instead to silently move into the blue hair beside the bed.
"Hey, Barry," She whispered, "I have some news."
His silence was deafening.
.
It was easier than it probably should have been for her to get into the ARGUS compound, but no one seemed too surprised to see her there. Felicity moved quickly and with purpose, ignoring the glances some of the agents were throwing her way as she asked around for Agent Michaels.
"Felicity," Lyla called, smiling at the younger woman as she approached her, "to what do I owe the pleasure?"
"That depends." The blonde responded, crossing her arms over her chest.
"On...?" Lyla prompted, tipping her head to the side in confusion.
"On whether you can keep a secret from Diggle." Felicity told her, meeting her gaze.
"Well, that depends."
"On...?"
"The secret."
Felicity considered the words for a moment before coming to a final decision; she'd tell her the truth, just not the whole truth.
"I'm going away for a while..."
.
"Miss Smoak, how lovely it is to see you." Quentin greeted as he saw the blonde making her way into the police station and towards the detective.
"And you, detective." She replied, stopping just short of his desk.
"Is this to do with our, uh, mutual friend?" He asked, rising to his feet so he could talk in a hushed tone, fearing that one of his colleagues may over hear him.
"No, not at all."
"So, what can I do for ya, sweetheart?" He visibly relaxed the slightest bit before leaning against his desk, folding his arms as he addressed the young woman before him.
"Have you heard from Sara yet?" She asked.
"That she's staying; yeah, she called me a couple hours ago. Great news, huh?" His tone of voice took on a much happier note as the topic shifted to his youngest daughter and it only strengthened Felicity's resolve.
"The best." She told him, returning his wide grin with a small one of her own.
"But, I don't think you came all the way down here just for that. So, you gonna tell me what's going on, sweetheart?"
Before she could stop herself, she was lunging at him, wrapping her arms around his neck in a tight embrace. She hugged him because no one had ever called her sweetheart before he, nor had anyone been so much like a father to her or watched out for her the way he did.
It made her feel loved.
"Woah, hey," The detectives arms come up to cradle the small woman, "what's going on? You're not in any trouble, are ya? Ain't made any more stupid decisions about how you spend your nights or putting yourself in danger, have ya?"
The concern she hears in her voice pushes her even further over the edge as she allows a few stray tears to fall from her eyes.
"No, I actually think I just made the best decision of my life."
x
It's all she could take for one day, so she drove herself home and curls up on the couch for a little while because she knew it may be the last time she ever got the chance. Looking around at her things, she became very aware that she should be preparing - packing the things she could take and having the rest piled into storage or sold - but she just couldn't bring herself to do it, not right then.
Deciding eventually to leave it until the morning, Felicity finally crawled into her warm bed and lay staring at the ceilling above her, memorising ever crack and the shadows cast by her chandelier.
Tomorrow, she would walk into Verdant and tell the final four that she was leaving - in so many words. Thea, Roy, Sara, John, Oliver.
Her heart was just about ready to give out.
x
"Lis!" An excited voice rang through the club as Felicity took her first step through the doors, her final step.
"Hey, Thea." She replied, her tone showing no where near as much enthusiasm as the young Queen.
Felicity picked at her fingernails awkwardly, scrubbing at the dirt that lay beneath them from her time spent laying flowers at Tommy's grave a short time before.
Thea bounced towards her, happily, and threw her arms around the blonde the moment she was within reach.
"I didn't know you were coming by today." She smiled, pulling back from the hug.
"Yeah, well, there's something I need to talk to you about."
Gone was the beaming grin on the younger girls face as she locked eyes with her friend, her best friend, and she took on a much more serious look.
"Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like it?" She asked, warily.
"Because you're not." Felicity told her, honestly, "And, I want you to remember that I'm not abandoning you, I would never want to do that, but there's something I have to do."
Thea took in a shaky breath as tears burned in the back of her eyes, threatening to spill over at any given moment.
"Are you leaving?" She whispered, scared to hear the answer, because she knew what it would be.
Felicity nodded her head, unable to speak past the lump in her throat. She held the sobbing brunette for at least a half hour after that, before finally making her way towards the secret door in the back.
But, not before she'd pressed a locket into the young women's hand, one that matched perfectly the one handing around the blonde's own neck.
She was walking away before Thea could open it.
.
"Hey, blondie, come look at this!" Roy's happy voice called the second Felicity's shoes hit the bottom step into the foundry.
She moved slowly towards where he was standing near the row of targets set up on one of the walls, purposefully making her steps heavier so he'd know she was there when she got close.
"I hit all the- are you okay?" The younger man had spun to face her and found a girl standing behind him with slumped shoulders and tear tracks on her face - nothing like the bubbly girl he knew, "You've been crying. Did someone hurt you?"
Felicity saw his shoulders tense and fists clench at his sides as the words left his mouth, so she was quick to reach out and cover one of his fists in her hands.
"No, no one hurt me," She reassured, quietly, "But, do you think we can talk?"
"Yeah, yeah, sure." He nodded, wiping his hands on a white towel that he then threw haphazardly onto the nearest table.
With a quick look around to ensure no one else was in the foundry, Felicity began to speak.
"Team Arrow's going to have to get by without me for a while."
She explained to him that she was leaving - leaving the team, QC, Starling - but, again, didn't give the honest reason as to why. Roy held onto her tight when she was finished and the blonde turned her head to kiss his cheek and tell him he was the little brother she never knew she wanted.
He grumbled and wiped at his cheek, but they both knew it was only half heartedly. She smiled and kissed his other cheek just to annoy him.
Roy rolled his eyes and pushed her away, gently, but Felicity saw the sad smile pulling at the young man's lips.
.
"Felicity!" John's voice boomed, echoing loudly through the foundry along with his heavy boots stomping down the stairs, "We need to talk right now."
She sighed when he came into view, looking really rather angry, and she knew that Lyla had told him about her upcoming departure.
"Yeah, let's talk."
Roy, Sara and Oliver - the last two having arrived not long after Felicity's chat with Roy - all turned their gazes towards the seething man. Confusion and worry bloomed on the faces of the island alumni, but Roy's held nothing but pity and understanding.
"Lyla filled me in on your little conversation yesterday." Digg yelled, angrily, stopping just short of Felicity with his arms folded tightly across his chest.
"I know, Digg. Can we talk about this somewhere else?" Felicity replied, wary of the two other people in the room who she was still yet to have this discussion with.
"No, we're going to talk about this right here, right now." John answered, glaring down at the little blonde, "And you're going to tell me the truth, the real reason for all this crap and not the bullshit excuse you've been feeding everyone else."
"Diggle, please." She pleaded, quietly, bowing her head to hide the tears she knew were filling her eyes.
She felt rather than saw the man's gaze soften the slightest bit as his arms unfolded and came to rest at his sides instead, though the hurt and confusion still rolled off of him in waves.
"What's going on?" Oliver demanded, moving quickly towards his original Arrow partners.
"You gonna tell him?" Digg asked, eyes still focused on Felicity.
"Tell me what?" The vigilante asked, also turning his attention to the blonde.
"I can't tell you, not yet." Felicity voice was quiet and strained as she fought with everything she had to stop the sobs threatening to rack her body.
"Tell. Me. What." Oliver spoke with what Felicity had come to know as his 'Grr' voice, the one he kept hidden away until he put on the hood. Most people would tremble at the sound of it, but she - unlike the other people who'd heard it before - knew she was in no danger and she had no reason to be afraid.
Tears were running freely down her cheeks, but she kept her head bowed forward in a futile attempt to keep them hidden. Diggle shifted beside her, reaching out a hand to place on her arm as he finally took pity on the girl.
"Okay, how about we go somewhere to talk and you'll come to him when you're ready?" He offered, speaking softer than he had all night.
With a nod of her head she turned her gaze back to Digg and allowed him to pull her gently towards the stairs.
"Is anyone going to tell me what is going on here?" Oliver called after them.
"Yes, Felicity will. When she's ready."
They sat in one of Verdant's private offices together as Felicity began to explain.
She told him the truth. Where she was going, how she'd be leaving at dawn the next day, her intentions to join the league in Sara's place, sacrifice her own happiness for that of her friend and Nyssa's promise that she would never have to take a life in cold blood.
By the time they were finished there was an upturned table and broken glass on the floor, evidence of the anger that had over taken the ex-soldier when he finally knew the truth.
Looking at her, though, Digg knew there was nothing he could say to change her mind. Felicity had a heart of pure gold and if she thought she was doing something for the better, to save her friend, then hell would freeze over before she didn't take it upon herself to do it.
He hugged her and kissed her hair repeatedly, making a joke about how he expected regular post cards from Nanda Parbat, and Felicity found herself wondering - not for the first time that day - if she was truly prepared to leave this life behind.
.
An hour passed before they finally returned to the foundry together, hands clasped between them. Felicity wasn't sure if she was clutching him, he was clutching her, or they were both just clinging to each other.
Digg's muscles were tense as they entered the lowest level of the building, a clear sign of his remaining anger, but he didn't let go of Felicity. She was the baby sister he never knew he wanted, but now couldn't see himself spending his days without.
He looked around the room and realised just how dark it would become down in the foundry without her constant presence. There would be no bright cardigans left slung over the back of her chair, no heels laying under a desk where she'd kick them off at the end of a long day, no sexual innuendos or constant chatter.
There'd be no one for him to guard anymore. No dainty blonde for him to feel protective over, to defend. No Felicity.
Then, John looked down to the afore mentioned girl and realised that that may be the last time he is ever to see her, at least how she is now. If he was to cross paths with her again, she would be a hardened warrior, wearing dark clothes and wielding countless weapons - she'd be everything he hoped she'd never become when she joined team arrow.
Tear tracks stained her red cheeks, running down from her equally red and puffy eyes and no, this cannot be how he last sees her.
So, Diggle starting making jokes, though it pained him to do so at a time like this, and he kept making jokes until finally Felicity let out a giggle, a smile. That was how he wanted to remember her.
Stop thinking like she's dying, his brain supplied, she's just going away for a while; she'll be back.
In the corner of his vision he saw a flash of green and then Oliver was there, standing infront of them with his arms crossed over his chest. And Felicity started crying all over again.
The vigilante looked shocked, scared even, but then he took a step forward, reaching for his girl with both arms open, and only then did Diggle finally let go of her hand.
She flew forward at a startling speed, arms wrapping around Oliver's neck in a vice like grip as she sobbed into his leather clad shoulder. His own arms encircled her tiny waist, pulling her closer still until they were pressed flush against each other.
Oliver looked over her head at Digg, a silent question in his eyes and concern covering his face. With a shake of his head, Diggle stepped forward, lightly squeezing Felicity's arm.
"I think you guys need a while alone." He said, rather loudly, throwing a pointed look to Roy and Sara, who both stood watching the scene before them. Sara looked startled by the sudden events, but still showed an obvious concern for the other woman, whilst Roy just looked sad.
The three left the foundry wordlessly, closing the door loudly behind them so the remaining two would know of there departure.
.
Oliver waited a few minutes, letting Felicity sob into his shoulder a little longer, before he pulled back just enough to look into her eyes. Her puffy, red rimmed eyes - he felt his heart break just looking at her.
"Sweetheart," he started, gently, "I need you to tell me what's wrong so I know who I need to beat up, okay?"
Felicity managed a tiny laugh, the very thing Oliver had been aiming for, before she moved her head away from his chest to look up at him.
"I don't know how to say it," she sobbed, "but I need you to promise you're not going to yell at me because I've already had enough anger from Digg I don't think I can handle that from you right now."
"Fe-lic-it-y" he said slowly, "you're really worrying me now, okay? I need to know what's going on."
"I'm leaving." She blurted, quick, like ripping off a band aid, but a thousand times more painful.
"The team?" he asked, taking a step back as he tried to process the new information.
"No - well, yes, I suppose. But not just that; I'm taking Sara's place. I'm leaving."
"You- What? Tell me you're kidding, tell me right now that this is some sort of sick set up." Oliver seethed, grabbing onto her upper arms and stooping so they were at eye level with each other.
"N-no, I'm being serious"
In the blink of an eye, Oliver was across the room, swiping things off tables with a roar of anguish. He was back just as fast, though, standing in front of her with next to no space between them.
"Is she forcing you into this?" He demanded, his breaths coming in short, angry pants.
"Wha- who?" She was visibly shaking at this point, though for what reason she wasn't sure, with her lip pulled tight between her teeth.
"Nyssa! She's making you do this so her Sara can stay home with her family but she won't get in trouble with daddy for going home empty handed!" He cried, turning to march towards the stairs, "I'll kill her for this!"
"No! Oliver, no." Felicity called quickly, clinging into his arm as he went to pass her, "I volunteered, okay!"
Stopping dead in his tracks, Oliver's shoulders tensed visibly, as he slowly turned to face her.
"You did what?" He asked quietly, too quietly for Felicity's comfort.
"I volunteered." She whispered, suddenly unable to meet his eyes.
"Why would you do that?" He breathed, and the pained way he said it made Felicity look up quickly.
"Because it's Sara, your Sara! The team needs her, you need her her family needs her. Me, though, I'm disposable, replaceable."
He swung away from her so fast Felicity couldn't help but to jump back in surprise. His fist connected with the metal table behind him with a sickening crack, the sound rivalled only by his scream.
"I'm sorry, I just thought it would be better this way, for everyone, for you. I -"
"Don't you dare say that! Don't you ever talk about yourself like you are any less than what you are, as if there is anyone else out there like you."
Despite thinking she was all out of tears, more began to leak down Felicity's cheeks at the words of her friend, the man she loved, "There is, Oliver, there are better people who won't babble or mess things up, people like Sara. The city needs those people and I'm not one of them."
"Damn it, Felicity, I need you! I. Need. You." He shouted, pulling her close by her hands which he brought up to rest against his chest, "you can't leave, please, I need you."
Oliver started crying then, too, resting his forehead against Felicity's as he stared into her equally watering eyes.
"It's okay, you'll be okay." She whispered, pressing her forehead closer against Oliver's, matching their breathing in a vain attempt to remain as calm as she possibly could.
"And what about you, Felicity?" His hands came up to cup her face, his thumbs gently brushing away her tears. "What about you?"
A long silence spreads between them and they both know that she can't promise she'll come back safely, or that she'll ever come back at all.
"I can't believe Sara is letting you do this." Oliver sighs, angrily, shaking his head.
Felicity, though, made no attempt to respond, instead staring down at the floor in silence. Something clicked in Oliver's breain as he watched her, and he used his hands on her cheeks to force her to look up at him.
"Sara does know about this, doesn't she?" her continued silence was all the answer he needed, "Felicity, she's not going to forgive you or Nyssa for this."
"She'll come to understand that this is best for everyone."
Before Oliver could voice his obvious disagreement, the afore mentioned assassin was standing at the bottom of the foundry stairs, a surprise to both of them as they'd been so wrapped up in each other and Nyssa had approach with the same stealth as always.
"It's time."
.
Wow, that was loooonnnnnggggg. But, it was also long over due so I thought maybe quantity was good here, even if the quality isn't great. Anyway, this is one I've been going to and from over a long time so it's a bit messy, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Let me know what you think.
Is a follow up a thing people would be interested in? If so, do let me know.
Thanks for reading.