Author's note: I mentioned at the beginning that I haven't finished Origins, so some parts of the story would be speculation on my part. This chapter is what I was referring to. If any events in here do not correspond to Origins, I apologize. But until I play it through, this stands.

Chapter 12: Angel

Gibari opened his eyes.

Blackness surrounded him, enclosed him. But the predawn darkness didn't oppress him; rather, it enveloped the fisherman, wrapping softly about him like a blanket. In the darkness lay the silence of countless hours he'd laid quietly, sometimes alone, sometimes with another's gentle breathing beside him. If he turned, he knew, his eyes would meet only emptiness. But if he just kept staring at the ceiling for a little while longer, he could imagine that the faint glow from the corner of his vision was her; that the soft sigh of the wind off the sea was her breath beside him; that the faint warmth touching his arm was her body curled against him.

He sat up, and the phantom faded away into darkness. As always, he was alone. As it always would be.

Yet…

Even in the corners he could see a faint white shadow…

Even the air in the room remembered the sound of her laughter…

"There you are! I didn't think they'd ever let you go." She put her hands on her hips, tilting her head ever so slightly to one side in a familiar gesture.

Gibari laughed, a deep laugh that echoed like a rolling tide between the pillars in the hall. "Even Knights get off early sometimes." His sweat-drenched headband was the only thing that kept his shock of reddish-brown hair from flopping in his face. Perspiration gave his body a pearly sheen, and he held up his hands defensively as she took a step closer.

"Now, now, I'm so wet right now I think you'd drown if you hugged me!" His blue eyes danced as she wrinkled her delicate nose ever so slightly at the odor released by his movement.

"I can wait then, if you so insist," she demurred. "Unless you need someone to help you wash the parts you can't reach…"

Gibari's wide grin displayed all brilliant white teeth. "I might have a little trouble findin' the soap…"

The two strolled out of the castle, crossing the bridge as the sun set in the west. For a moment, Gibari turned to look at her.

As always, she took his breath away.

The setting sun lit her hair on fire, giving red and gold to pale brown locks. He could never tell what color her eyes were, only that they caught and held him fast. The light outlined her figure with a glowing halo, and she walked with such grace that Gibari would not have blinked an eye to see her transform into an angel before his eyes.

His angel.

She looked back at him, and he could see himself mirrored in her peaceful eyes. Then they crinkled as she smiled gently.

"Gibari, your wings are out," she pointed, laughing softly.

The huge man glanced behind him in embarrassment. Sure enough, his rebellious wings flapped slightly, revealing the depths of his thoughts.

A slight breeze kissed his brow, and he turned to see her face, illuminated as brightly as the sun behind it. Her own wings – pure, untouched white – shone on her back.

Together, they walked over the sun-washed bridge into the cool shadows of twilight.

Eyes closed in the warm darkness, he let sleep linger a little longer. After all, there was no need to go anywhere. All he needed was right here.

He felt her snuggle a little closer to his body, and he couldn't help but let out a sigh of contentment. He meant it to be inaudible, but she stirred.

"Mmm… good morning." He felt her hand gently running through his hair, then coming down to trace patterns on his cheeks. A smile crinkled them as he opened his eyes, drinking her in with the morning air. Her eyes were still closed, but he could imagine the light dancing behind them, the light he always saw in her face.

Then her own eyes fluttered open, and it was as if he had just seen her for the first time – the way it always was. The same gut-jerking wrench, as if his entire organs had been turned inside out and filled with the sweetest wine. He could not begin to understand why she always hit him like that. He was helpless before her – and loved every moment of it.

She laughed softly at his expression and kissed him. "It's nice to wake up after dawn and find you still in bed."

"Just to reassure that I don't still live at the castle," he grinned at her. "Besides, there's no way I'd be on guard duty and miss today!"

Her brow furrowed slightly. "Today? What's today?"

This time Gibari laughed. "You can remember every time I've come home late, the names of every kid in this village – probably this island – and you can't remember your own birthday?"

The confusion in her eyes vanished, to be replaced by irritation. "I thought I told you we weren't celebrating that."

He mussed her hair gently. "I don't have as good a memory as you. I forgot."

"No, really. I don't want to do anything."

"You can stay in bed all day if that's what you want! I won't mind in the least." He winked at her.

"That's not what I meant!" Exasperated, she pulled the sheets off him suddenly, leaving him shivering suddenly as cool air hit his bare skin. But he didn't move from his position and lounged at ease, grinning.

She sighed. "Really, Gibari, can't you take anything seriously?" She dropped her eyes. "You know why I don't want to celebrate today."

His face turned serious, but his eyes were gentle. "Yes, angel, I know. And I don't blame you. But…" Reaching out, he tilted her chin to look into her eyes. "I don't want you to be chained today by the past. I want you to make new memories… happy ones." He brushed her cheek with his hand. "I want to see you smile about today."

Tears sprang suddenly to her eyes. "Oh, Gibari, I…" She buried her face in his chest. He stroked her hair, and he could feel her shoulders shake softly. His own eyes were troubled, but he said nothing.

So quietly he could hardly hear her, she whispered into his skin, "He would be… nearly a year old if he had lived…"

He squeezed her hand. "Angel, I'm just glad you're here with me, alive." She looked up at him. Her eyes were wet. The grin reappeared on his face as he said, "That way, we can make lots more babies."

She smiled now, through her tears. "You… you know… I want a child… so much…"

"And we're tryin'. I'm not going to give up on my end, that's for sure." Gibari's chuckle vibrated through his body. "I hope you aren't…"

This time her smile got wider. "You can never try too much."

"That's what I like to hear!"

The sunlight streamed down upon the white sheets, promising a perfect day to come.

He might as well have walked into a stone wall the minute he stumbled into the room. She was standing in the kitchen with her back to him, but he couldn't help but feel that he'd slammed face-first into something immobile.

"I wasn't sure if you were planning on coming back tonight," she said tonelessly.

Gibari shivered. Had the room just gotten colder? He couldn't tell, mostly because it was spinning too much for him to determine. He dropped unsteadily into the nearest chair.

"Is' been… is' been busy at th' castle," he began, slurring just a little. "They needed extra… extra shifts, so I stayed last night, but, uh… 'm back now…"

"Yes… after spending the night in the bar, and returning at two in the morning…!" She whirled to face him, her voice rising in the last half of her sentence. "'Long day,' is it? Does spending time with… with the bartender relieve your stress?" Her eyes were snapping sparks. Gibari winced and knew he was in for it.

"Angel, Anna's got nothin' to do wit' this…"

"Of course not! Not when she's practically sitting in your lap, laughing with you and the other Knights! Nothing whatsoever!"

His jaw dropped. "Wer' you… wer' you there?"

Her eyes, if possible, burned even more, but her voice dropped dangerously quiet. "No… but I didn't need to be. You've just told me everything I need to know." She marched up to him and slapped him with all her might. His vision spun furiously and his cheek burned, but he could see tears spilling out of her eyes. "Sleep by yourself." She ran out and slammed the door to the bedroom. The sound reverberated through his skull and made everything ache.

"Oh, gods…" Gibari groaned. He got up and staggered to the couch. "Oh man… I didn't… she won't… ahg, can't think." Dropping down on the cushions, his eyes immediately closed. "I'll fix it… in th' mornin'…"

It was only a few months later that he awoke to find her side of the bed empty. He looked outside, puzzled. The sun was not quite up yet. He would have to go soon, but where was she?

"Love? Where are you?" He got up, and suddenly he heard noises outside. Quickly pulling on a pair of shorts, he ran out the door and around the corner of the house. He found her leaning by the side of the latrine, her brown hair hanging in straggles around her face.

"I… am going to lose… every single thing… I ever ate," she gasped, moaning. He caught her before she could fall over and held her to him. She pushed him away to retch, but nothing came up.

Finally, she looked at him, and to his surprise, her eyes were shining out of the weariness of her face.

"You know what this means, right?" she whispered hoarsely.

Gibari looked blank.

"We're going to have a child."

Although dawn had not yet come, the sun rose there for both of them.

"Whoa, honey!" One of the Knights whistled. Another flashed him a thumbs-up. "She's showing, Gibari!"

He laughed as he held her hand, walking into the tavern. "Hands off, boys."

"What about eyes off?"

"Not much he can do about that." She smiled as she touched her rounded belly self-consciously. They all roared with laughter. Gibari squeezed her hand.

"I brought her along," he announced dramatically, "as proof for our commander that I am not duckin' out to go chase Thunderfish for the rest of my life. Now, where is he?"

"He stepped out for a bit," called one Knight. "He'll be back."

An unpleasant laugh cut through the chatter. Gibari turned to see a sneering, pale-faced man dressed in an almost-spotless uniform, except for where a small splash of beer stained it. Both he and his companion wore the black uniform of the Imperial Elite.

Upon seeing Gibari's expression abruptly freeze, one of the Knights stood up quickly and leaned over to him. "There's a small squad of them in Castle Elnath right now. The Emperor is visiting King Ladekahn at the moment."

The Imperial who had laughed continued. "Stepped out… can't hold his liquor, more like."

Instantly the rest of the talk died down. The Imperial didn't seem to notice, and took a long swallow of the tankard in his hand. He promptly spit it back into the mug and shoved it back on the counter.

"Ugh… woman, I ordered beer, not the stuff I've seen in your pigsties around here," he said loudly to the bartender. Four of the Knights stood up, but Gibari, his head clearer than theirs, pushed two back gently, keeping her behind him.

"Easy, boys. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion."

The other Imperial eyed him distastefully up and down. "Well, in my opinion, I've never seen a sorrier place in all the islands. Even Sadal Suud had decent wine."

Now it was Gibari's turn to slowly loom at his full height. But he did not make any moves – he could see the rifles leaning against the counter. The brass had the shine of death.

"Everyone's got a right to their own opinion," he said again, slowly, "but you don't need to say it."

"Yeah," said one of the young Knights hotly. "Like if I were to say, you'd know what pigsties taste like because your Emperor is a pig, you wouldn't like that, would you?"

It all happened very fast, then. Both Imperials leaped to their feet, knocking over chairs and drinks, and grabbed for their weapons. The Knights drew their swords with cries of drunken anger and glee. As the Imperials raised their weapons, the bartender yelled, "STOP!" and threw a pitcher of beer at both parties. The Imperial in front was knocked off balance, but his finger was still on the trigger. His gun went off, and his companion behind fired.

Gibari felt the first shot graze his arm as he tried frantically to pull the nearest Knight down, as well as shield his love. The second bullet screamed by as they all tumbled down. But before either Imperial could get in a second shot, four Knights had their swords pointed at the intruders' throats.

"We suggest you get out while you can. We'll pick up the tab," one said threateningly.

The black-vested soldiers gave them looks of venom, but they were clearly outnumbered. Snarling, they backed up unsteadily until they were at the door, then turned and stumbled out into the night.

"Agh… Gib… Gibari… you're on top of me," groaned the Knight he had pulled down. Gibari instantly got up, with a quick, "Sorry," and turned to her.

"Angel, are you…" The words died and turned to ashes in his mouth as he saw the crimson stain that was slowly spreading across her belly. A second deadly circle marked her chest. Her eyes were wide and unfocused.

"Gibari… Gibari… love… where are you?" She whispered. Her hands clutched at the air, her swollen and bleeding stomach.

Frantically he pressed a hand to her chest to stop the pulsing blood. His other hand found hers and placed it on top, then covered her belly. "I'm here, doll, I'm here…" The world around him had disappeared except for her.

She sighed, and now focused on him. "Ah… there you are. It's… it's a little cold in here… don't you think?"

He let go of her belly long enough to rip his shirt off and press it around her shoulders, his other hand still on her wound, stopping the flow. "Better?"

She smiled. "Yes, thank you." She paused for a minute. "Gibari, I still haven't decided on a name."

"Whatever… whatever you pick will be beautiful," he choked. "Just lie still. They're goin'… for help…"

She brushed away a single tear that had escaped his eye. "Oh, Gibari. This time… you don't… have to be… serious." She closed her eyes. "I… love you."

He brought his head down to her pale cheek, kissed it with trembling lips. "Angel, you're my world, my light, my life… I love you more… than anything…"

Her hand was limp against his skin.

Slowly, ever so slowly, he raised his hand. Her face was peaceful – just like it had been when she was asleep that morning – but there was no more light behind it.

As her hand dropped to the floor, he felt the bottom of his world drop out.

"Gibari… I know the circumstances. I know what you've been through. That's why, despite what you've done, I don't want to press charges or try you." The Head Commander looked stern, but his eyes, fastened upon Gibari standing at attention in full armor, were sad.

"I don't regret my actions, sir," Gibari's voice was devoid of life. "The bastards deserved it."

"…Gibari, relations with the Empire are strained as it is. What I need—"

"I know, sir," Gibari interrupted. "That's why I'm resignin'. Just tell them you disposed of me."

The Head Knight was taken aback. "W…why, there's no…"

"I can't be a part of this any longer." Gibari's voice was now barely above a whisper. "If I stay in this place, with these memories, I'll… I'll go crazy."

The commander was silent for a long time. At last, he said, "Then, Gibari, I release you from the King's service. Hereby you are no longer a Knight, but a citizen, of Diadem. Return your armor and your crest."

Wordlessly, Gibari stripped himself of his carefully polished armor, and handed over the blue crest of Diadem.

"You may go."

With empty eyes, the big man turned to go. The Head Knight had never seen him look so small.

To the gods, he prayed silently. May you find it in your hearts to heal this man, someday. May he find the happiness he deserves…

The darkness covered him, but his hands touched his cheeks and came away wet.

"Aw, damn," he muttered, shoving away the sheets. "I'm gettin' soft."

He got up and left the empty bed behind.