Hello comrades!
I actually don't have much to say right now. In this extremely long chapter, we get some good old fashioned guerrilla tactic comedy. The Ivanovitch twins showcase their stuff in a water fight, and, so…yeah…
How about a word from our sponsor?
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I don't own naruto. If I did, then the Tsuchikage would not be a flying oompa-loompa with a back problem.
Itachi POV
"Hi itachi-kun!" Myka said, interrupting my meditation. She sat next to me, making the springs groan, and the couch cushions move. I tried to find my center again, but she wouldn't stop talking.
"Did you sleep well?" She asked. A harmless question, but in the present circumstances it was annoying nonetheless.
"Fine." I said, dismissively.
"I slept like a baby!" She told me, as if that was knowledge I could not continue my existence without. I uncrossed my legs, sighing, "Good."
She must've picked up on the 'subtle' hints I was dropping that I was not thoroughly enjoying her company. Her large smile dropped into a pouted lip.
"Why are you so grumpy in the morning?" She asked me.
I wanted to tell her that I was still trying to come to terms with the facts that I was in an entirely different dimension, without any chakra or knowledge of the new world, and that it was difficult.
Instead I said, "Perhaps it is hard to understand, but most people enjoy having their mornings uninterrupted by the incessant chatter of teenaged girls."
She looked at me for a while, as I regarded her with my usual calm. After a while, she raised her hand, and protruded two fingers. She poked them to my forehead, and then got up, walking to the kitchen to make breakfast.
My face contorted into one of pure shock. I sputtered, unable to find any sort of language to describe the sudden onrush of thoughts. Did she just… that was my move! I felt heat rise in my face, embarrassment and a new warm feeling finding places in me.
I walked into the living room, where I was greeted with everyone else. Many of them appeared to be having a normal morning, however Hidan seemed to have a large bump on his head, and Jess had a metal baseball bat.
"Okay, guys!" Missy said, dramatically, "we've all been no fun for a while, so today we're all going to do something!"
Everyone mulled the idea over. "Do what?" Myka asked.
"Yeah, I didn't really think what." She said, "But I'm open to ideas!"
"I have one." Jayden said, hopping off the couch.
"We are going to have…" he said, giving pauses, "the biggest…baddest…wettest…water gun fight in New York history!"
"Oh, cool! A water gun fight!" Lynsey said, fist pumping.
"That sounds like fun!" Jess said. The girls agreed, as aiden explained to the akatsuki what a water gun was. Kisame grinned at the notion of water, and hidan at gun, and everyone else seemed to think it would be good fun.
I, as usual, was the only one who saw things rationally.
"Can you have a water fight as kittens?" I asked, making everyone turn to me, "have you all already forgotten that water will turn us back to kittens? I fail so see how fun it will be when half of us are cats who can't play at all."
Everyone else saw a problem. But the twins? They saw opportunity.
"Perfect!" They said at the same time, "then we'll have an elimination round!"
Everyone stared at them, raising their eyebrows. "What the fuck was that?" Hidan asked, "you sounded like Zetsu!"
"He's right, you know." Zetsu piped up, "How did you both know that?"
"We're twins." Jayden said, "we always know what's on the other's mind. Literally, we know what we're thinking."
"Creepy." Deidara said.
"I wouldn't talk with mouth-hands, Deidara." Aiden retorted.
"That isn't the point." Pein said, "what is an elimination round?"
"If you get hit…" Jayden began, and aiden finished, "you're out of the game!"
"So since you guys will be cats…"
"You just go back to the base, and someone will turn you back."
"Guys, if you don't stop doing that, I'll turn your heads into coleslaw!" Jess said, hefting her bat.
"Gotcha." They said at the same time. She snarled at them.
"I guess that would be fun." I lied. I was planning, of course, to get hit on purpose, and not play.
"Okay then! If emo-boy says its good, it's good!" Hidan said, causing Jess to cold-cock him with her bat.
"Lets do this!" The twins said, then ran back home to get their water guns. For some reason, I thought that this would bring something up. A conflict, maybe? I was unsure.
Third person POV
"Okay, my dudes!" Aiden said, (Are you sure that this isn't America from Hetalia?) "we're gonna divide the teams now."
They had been brought out into a large park with lots of trees and foliage, perfect to conserve their secret.
Jess pointed to a tree stump. "That's base. If you get hit, you go here, and whichever one of us is here will cuddle with you."
"That should be enough reason to stay in the game." Kakuzu said, and Jess flipped him off.
"Okay…" aiden said, "How's this sound? Me and Jayden… against all you people. That sound good?"
"Are you kidding, un?" Deidara said, "we are ninjas, yeah! Any one of us could take you guys down!"
"Uh, senpai? We dont have any of our techniques." Tobi pointed out.
"We still outnumber you guys by a lot!" Deidara said, upset with Tobi for correcting him.
"We took rifle training." The twins informed the blond terrorist, "we can shoot a inch target from fifty paces. We also have some pretty effective formations we drew up."
"Come on guys!" Myka pleaded, "you'll kill us! Just take someone. To offset it?"
"Hmm… if we had to take care of one of you guys, then I guess it would make us less efficient." Jayden said.
"Okay, we'll take Konan." Aiden said, immediately. The bluenette happily walked over to the twins, sticking especially close to aiden.
"Which guns are you using?" Jayden asked. They showed them some super-soakers. The twins grinned from ear to ear, and pulled out some big, black gun-looking-things. They had large triggers, with a huge hand grip, and a big tank of water at the back. The nozzle was very thin, and powerful looking.
"Are those…" missy began.
"Modified pressure washers?" Myka finished. (Pressure washers are EXTREMELY powerful. They have been known to pull the paint off houses and cars, and skin off people. I really hope the twins modified these well.)
The twins still smiled, and said, "Wait a minute until you come after us. Remember which way you came so you can get back. Onetwothree, go."
Aiden took Konan by the arm, and guided her through the foliage. The other team began groaning. It looked like they were outmatched, outgunned, and out of their league.
"Don't be afraid." Pein told them, "as long as we are true to ourselves, and remember that our pain is greater than theirs, we will always win. Now if I could just figure out which end it is…"
"Pein, that's the wrong-!" Myka began, but a jet of cold water sprayed across the rinnegan users face. A puff of smoke erupted from him, and there sat a very wet, very embarrassed kitten.
"Just sit on the log." Itachi said.
"Okay, I'm going to sacrifice these guys to lord jashin!" Hidan said, evily.
"Not while you're holding it upside down, you're not." Kakuzu said.
"SHUT YOUR GODDAM HOLE!" He yelled.
"The minute is up." Missy said.
"Right! Lets show them how to do this, hmm!" Deidara said, and took a step after them.
Suddenly, from behind them, two highly compressed jets of water shot out at them. They both ht Deidara square in the back, throwing him onto his face. There was a puff of smoke, and a fluffy, yellow kitten lay there, asking himself what the hell happened.
The rest of them shot their guns about wildly, as the two jets of water started sniping at them. Tobi was hit right in the hole in his mask, and he puffed into smoke after yelling, "GAHHH, MY MAKENGYO!" Both halves of Zetsu were hit simultaneously, creating two different puffs. Kakuzu had though he saw a coin on the ground, so he bent down right into the path of a jet. His head was pushed in between his legs before he became a kitten.
The rest of them scattered, their forces splintered. Missy charged away, trying to get out in the open so she could regroup. She ran right into one of the barrels of a water gun.
Myka and itachi heard the scream. They walked forward, holding their water guns ahead of them. Myka's hands were shaking, and itachi had his brow narrowed, waiting for movement.
Suddenly, a burst of water soaked them both. Itachi turned to a kitten, and myka let out a high pitched noise that basically said it was cold water.
"Oops!" Lynsey said, coming out of the bushes. Water dribbled from the nozzle of her super soaker.
"What the hell?!" Myka said, angrily.
"We thought you were the twins!" Kisame said, coming from behind lynsey.
Myka sputtered angrily, and sprayed the both of them. Kisame became a cat, and lynsey made a noise like myka. The two began arguing, and itachi and kisame just glanced at one another.
"Fine!" Myka said, picking up itachi, "itachi and I are going this way!"
"Fine!" Lynsey said, grabbing kisame, "me and kisame are going this way!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
The two walked off in different directions, muttering and cuddling the kittens.
Jess looked around through the trees, stealthily. She wasn't going to get caught. If only she could find hidan, then they'd take the twins down together.
She came to a clearing, and saw sitting on the ground, meowing loudly, a sliver-grey kitten. It's fur was covered with water drops, and it appeared to have a bad attitude.
Jess gasped. "Hidan!" She cooed, and knelt down, to huggle him. Suddenly, both boys sprang from the bushes, and completely soaked Jess. She sputtered, blowing some water off her face. She shook herself off, and then looked down.
Hidan was meowing nicely, and putting his front paws on her knees. Her rage vanished, and hugged hidan, overwhelmed by the cute kitten.
Then she realized why he was so friendly. The twins had sprayed her really bad, so her clothes were soaked, and hugging her body. She was embarrassed, at the revealing nature of it, and took hidan back to the base.
When she got there, she saw the twins and Konan were in the middle of their gloat. It looked like everyone was pretty thoroughly soaked.
"Wait, where's myka and itachi?" Jess asked.
They looked around. "I dunno." Aiden said, "but don't worry. I'm sure they're coming right now."
Third person POV. we already did that, so instead: myka's POV
"Itachi?" I said, wandering around, "itachi-kun, can you hear me?"
I had only put him down for a second! I was looking for where we were, and suddenly, poof! He was gone.
I was going to let hidan sacrifice me If I lost itachi. I swear, I was having a panic attack. If I lost itachi, then what was I going to do? He'd hate me! I'd never get to bury my face in his fur again, or hug him when he was meditating, or call him itachi-kun or-
I looked past the bushes, and heard a fangirl squeal. I looked out on the sidewalk. On the sunny, rain puddled sidewalk, and saw the biggest WCS in my life. (Worst Case Scenario)
Standing there, with a black kitten I knew all too well in her arms, was Jenna Roberts. The bane of my existence. She had some odd idea that we were all friends, and we were too polite to tell her otherwise. Well, Jess did a lot, but she didn't really believe her.
She has mousy hair, that's very curly. Her face is dotted with freckles, she is wearing her usual jeans, a white tank top, and she always has at least one copy of naruto with her.
That brings me to another thing about her. I may be a hyper fangirl, but she is a rabid fangirl. Rabid fangirls get their names from how if anybody got in the way of their manga, they would bite them or something. I'm pretty sure that if she found out we have the Akatsuki at our apartments, then she'd rape them or kidnap them. Yeesh.
"Hey, myka!" She waived to me, "look at the kitten I just found!"
"Yeah, great! you found ita- I mean shadow!" I said walking out.
She looked at me oddly, inspecting my soaking shirt. "You having a wet T shirt contest?"
"yes. i mean, no! we're having a water gun fight, and then my cat got out." I lied quickly. Jess would be proud.
"Oh, okay." She said, about to give shadow back to me. Then she looked down at his head, and saw something in his fur. I didnt, but she took it upon herself to wash it off.
She bent down, and scooped some water in her hand. "Oh, it's nice and warm!" She told itachi.
"Warm?" I said, remembering that warm water turned them back. It was too late, she had dumped the water all over itachi, making the smoke puff. When it cleared, itachi was sitting, naked on the sidewalk, with a bewildered expression.
"Itachi uchiha?" She said, immediately recognizing him.
I knew that any more time itachi spent here was only going to make her freak out more, so I lifted the water gun. The cold liquid hit itachi, making him puff back into a kitten. I quickly grabbed him, and retreated into the park. I don't know if she was still after me, but I didn't look back.
Finally, I got to a tree, and hid behind it. I bounced itachi up to my face, and asked, "you okay?" He nodded, and I think purred. He even rubbed his head agains my cheek. He must've been thanking me.
I was blushing really deeply now. I had gone from worst case scenario to best frickin' day ever!
"Myka!" I heard Jenna yell after me, "I know you're there! Was that Itachi?!"
I looked down, at the little kitten, and knew I couldn't give him up. But jenna was a lot faster than me, and she would NOT give up until she had him. i was scared.
Suddenly, from behind me, I heard a voice say, "on my go, you and Konan are going to run to the building. We can cover you to the treeline, and give you a fourty second head start."
It was aiden! I looked back at my brother, and gave him a one-arm hug. He nodded, and made a few signals with his hands. I looked across the open area, and saw Jayden nod at him.
"Now! Go!" He said, and I ran. I saw Konan next to me, running at the trees. Jenna was charging behind me. Aiden and Jayden opened up with the pressure washers, soaking her and making her fall in a mud puddle.
We got to the treeline, and saw everyone sitting there. I rapid-fire said that Jenna knew and we had fourty seconds. Lucky for me, everyone understood, and began scooping up kittens. We ran for the building, and threw open the door. I have never run so fast in my life, charging up the steps like I was in a monster movie.
We slammed the door behind us, breathing heavily. We let the kittens go, and slumped on the wall. My thighs were burning, and my heart was beating two zillion times a second. My thought felt raw, and my wet clothes stuck to me.
There was a knock at the door, and it was flung open. The twins ran through, and slammed it behind them. They quickly bolted it shut, and looked around, making sure everyone was here. They sighed, and said, "everyone get in the back room."
I was about to ask why, but then I heard a knock on the door, and the knob getting twisted. The kittens and Konan ran into the back room, and aiden and Jayden looked at me.
"Handle it." I told them, and they opened the door a crack.
"What," Jayden said
"Is," aiden continued
"It?" Jayden finished.
"Hi zetsu's." she said, the twins groaning at the nickname she had for them.
"Whattaya,"
"Want?"
"Do you have itachi uchiha in there?" She asked.
"Ita-"
"-who-"
"-now?"
"From the akatsuki!" She said.
"Can you stop talking like you just made sense," aiden asked,
"And just go home?" Jayden finished.
"But I saw it with my own eyes!" She protested as they closed the door, "I'm not leaving!"
The twins looked at one another, thinking hard. If she stayed there, them she'd hear us talking, or maybe find a way in. I waited patiently, despite my own worried feelings. If the twins couldn't handle it, nobody could.
Jayden walked over to the sink, and started getting out bottles of chemicals. He grabbed hydrogen peroxide, some powdered dish soap, vinegar, lemon pledge, and a big box of baking soda. His hands blurring, he mixed them all together in different portions, as exact as if he had used measuring cups.
I didn't know it was a bomb until it started smoking, the thick, grey vapor coming off the mixture in fumes. He shook the bowl around a bit, smoke practically pouring out of it now, and walked briskly over to the door with it. He was careful not to spill any, and made a great point of holding it as far away from himself as he could. He flung the door open with his foot, Jenna's head perking up as she saw the door was open.
He shoved the mixture into Jenna's arms, forcefully saying, "Here!" he slammed the door, and put his back into it, bracing it. We heard Jenna say something, her words muffled by the door, and then she became quiet, as she realized what she was holding.
Then came the screaming. We heard her drop the bowl and start running, her footsteps loud and panicked.
"ahh," Aiden said, putting his hand to his ear and listening to her, "The pitter-patter of little feet." The twins slapped high fives, grinning at their accomplishment.
"What the hell was that?!" I said, not exactly thrilled that they had made a bomb and tried to blow up a classmate. An annoying, belittling, bully classmate, but a classmate nonetheless.
"what? It was a Smokescreen! You didn't think we'd actually set a bomb off in the hall, did you?" they said, grinning.
"I wouldn't put it past you." I told them.
The kittens came out, timidly meowing as they roamed through the apartment once again. I saw jess pick up Hidan, but held him at arm's length as he tried to put his little-kitty paws on her wet shirt. (lets keep this PG, kay hidan?) Kisame rubbed against Lindsey's leg, a sweet gesture for her, but a mischievous plot to get blue fur on her pants for him.
Konan walked out to Aiden, who inspected her, checking for any cuts. I noticed red blush come up into her cheeks as he took her hand and checked her arm. Well, it wouldn't be the first time he's had a girl after him. And it also wouldn't be the first tine he's been completely oblivious about it.
Itachi was sitting in the middle of the room, shivering at his cold, wet fur. I felt bad, because I was the one who soaked him, so I went over and picked him up. I rested my head lightly on his, rocking slowly back and forth. For the first time ever, he didn't resist me, or even move. It was almost like. . . I don't know, he wanted to be with me.
But that's crazy. That's crazy! Itachi wouldn't choose a girl like me. I knew that. Missy knew that. And worst of all: He knew that.
This one kinda got back to the laughs, so yay for that! I would like to remind y'all that I STILL have not received the OC ideas from .Undead. if you still read this, please review with your idea, okay? I cant contact you through PM, so just do what you can in a review or two, alright?
I would like to thank you all for the amount of support you have given me throught this fanfictions duration. I know that I don't update often, and I know that my writing isn't exactly perfect, but you guys make me want to keep writing, and keep coming up with new ideas. You are the reason I write fanficton.
Thank you all, and merry Christmas from Wolfboy 117