Chapter Thirteen
"Holy shit, Edward! I didn't know boxes could fly!" I belted out as he darted left and then zigzagged between two cars and then crossed over so he was in the right lane again. Yep, all that just to overtake two cars.
"What, Bella?" He looked at me.
"Eyes on the road!" I ordered and he rolled his before turning to look at the road.
I was gripping the seat for dear life, praying that this little box had air bags that would deploy and not kill us with asbestos in the case of a crash.
"Bella, you can relax." His fingers brushed over mine that were clenched into the chair.
"Are you driving slower?"
He hesitated, "Uh, yes?"
"Oh my god you are the worst liar."
"Not as bad as you." He counteracted, but I ignored it.
"Edward, can you please slow down?"
"No." He chuckled. I really did not see how almost dying could be amusing. A rollercoaster at Disneyland didn't even go this fast.
"What can I do to make you slow down? Take my top off? Give you road head? Something, anything?" I was pleading now.
"Well road head has been known to make a car slow down," Edward chuckled and I undid my seatbelt.
His hand clasped the belt as it threatened to slide back. He plugged it back in and I felt his foot ease off the accelerator. I sighed and relaxed, slightly, back into my seat.
"I wasn't being serious, Bella."
"Well I was."
"You don't like my fast driving?" He asked and I snorted.
"Just as much as I like getting my cooter waxed." This caused Edward to laugh. Really hard, so hard he closed his eyes. "Open your eyes. Geez who taught you to drive, a blind nun?"
"My father actually." He mused. Exams were over and after some... really good study sessions I feel confident about them. What I was doing now. Eh, not so much. Except meeting my boyfriend's parents!
"Great Edward, make me more nervous."
"Bella, it'll be fine." I rolled my eyes.
"Edward, have you met me? I don't exactly make the best first impressions." His lips twitched.
I sighed, "go on, say whatever you're itching to say."
"As long as you don't scream, 'I'm not a nymphomaniac' at my parents, then I'm sure they'll love you all the same."
"Thanks Edward, build the self esteem, now I can't get those words out of my head."
Nymphomaniac, nymphomaniac, nymphomaniac!
"Why are you so nervous? You've met my dad before."
"Yes, but he had to be nice to me then."
"No he didn't."
"Yes he did."
"Well if it's any consolation he was being himself and he seemed to like you."
"Edward, you said 'seemed', what does that mean?"
"Were you really going to give me road head?"
"What, you're changing the subject!"
"No, I'm not," I gave him a look which clearly said, 'oh really'. He continued, "No, because you changed it earlier, so I'm getting it back on track."
I looked at him bewildered, unsure as to what I was going to say. Would I really give Edward a blow job just to get him to slow down?
"Probably." Was my final answer, "Why'd you stop me?"
"Because when I said that road head would slow the car I meant that I'd probably hit the brakes causing a complete stop." I rolled my eyes.
"Overreaction."
"Oh well, it doesn't matter now, we're almost here. Wouldn't want to meet my parents with dried cum around your mouth, would you? It'd worse that your nympho intro." He laughed. I turned my head towards the window and wiped my mouth despite the fact that I knew there'd be anything that had dried around it.
Edward pulled into a driveway of a huge white house and my jaw dropped. My shack could fit into this about six times.
"You grew up here?" It kicked ass out of Charlie's and Renee's big time.
"Yes." Edward was nervous now. I think I might've given him all of those nerves because I was spitting confidence now.
"Wow, it's amazing." Edward's parents lived on the outskirts of the city.
Edward took my hand and walked me up the driveway.
"You're not nervous, are you?" Edward asked.
"Nope." I smiled at him and he relaxed. He turned the door handle and just walked into the house.
"You're not going to knock?" I asked him.
"Why, mum knows we're coming."
"Yes, but we're early."
"So?"
"It's still your parents' house." He gave me a look that told me he didn't understand, "They could be doing something."
"Like what?" My poor boyfriend was incredibly naive in this moment. He probably still thinks the stork brought him just so his parents didn't have sex.
"Remind me to tell you a story later about my mother."
He nodded and called, "Hello."
A young woman with the same auburn coloured hair skited around the corner hurriedly not too long after Edward called.
She patted herself down, flustered from whatever was happening in the kitchen. Dr Cullen walked in behind her with a sated smile. Stork my ass, Mr and Mrs C were still doing the dirty. Most likely moments before Edward called hello.
"I thought you were going to knock." Mrs Cullen said to Edward and I stifled a laugh. Edward stood flabbergasted and Mrs Cullen held out her hand, "I'm Esme."
I took her hand and by god if the woman didn't have the softest hands imaginable.
"Bella. You have a beautiful home, sorry about just walking in like that." I might've blushed.
"Mum," Edward finally whined, "I've never knocked before."
"Yes, but you've always lived here before. What if you father and I were doing something you shouldn't see." Esme chastised. I pursed my lips to prevent a laugh.
"What could you possibly be doing that I shouldn't see?" Poor boy really didn't know. My giggle escaped.
Esme smiled at me and sent a worried look to her son. "I should get back to preparing lunch. I'm always a messy cook." Dr Cullen blushed and she winked at me. I couldn't hold in the laughter and bent double, holding my gut.
Esme escaped to the kitchen. I straightened up and wiped the tears from my eyes. Edward patted me awkwardly on the back.
"Sorry about that Dr Cullen, I just couldn't hold it in any longer." I blushed and caught Edward's confused face out of the corner of my eye.
"Please Bella, call me Carlisle," I nodded. Carlisle added uncomfortably, "Uh, sorry about Esme, she gets crazy about cooking." My lips twitched, but I didn't let the giggle out. "How's the leg, Bella?" Carlisle asked.
"Good, heavy, annoying," cockblocking. Thank goodness my internal filter is working.
"Ah well, hang in there, two weeks if you're good."
"I'll be good, I swear." Now was the moment when Edward decided to let the sexual side of his brain reawaken, because he stifled at laugh at my comment.
Carlisle quirked a smile as I nudged Edward in the ribs with my elbow, sharply. "I like you Bella," he said randomly, "You kids hang around. I'm going to go help Esme in the kitchen."
"Do you need help?" I asked and then blushed at my words.
Carlisle laughed, "No, we'll alright, thank you."
He scooted off to the kitchen, but before he could fully leave the room my verbal filter decided to go on holidays, letting my brain scream out, "I'm sure Esme kneads buns, the buns, oh boy." I palmed myself in the forehead and then turned to the adjacent wall and hit my head on that also. I stopped when I saw the wall was the whitest shade of white I had ever seen in a house. I didn't want my blood tainting that.
Edward looked at me strangely, "Let's go outside." I nodded, wallowing in my embarrassment until I saw his backyard.
"You have a trampoline!" I screamed insanely jealous. Charlie would never let me have one. You know, clumsy kid plus bouncing object elevated from ground doesn't exactly equal safety.
"Yes," Edward smirked at me as I tried to scramble on.
"You know I broke my right big toe when I was seven trying to jump off one of these at a friend's place." I told Edward as he grabbed my ass and lifted me up.
"I remember mum trying to convince dad to get rid of it when I broke my left wrist when I was nine." Edward told me and I laughed.
"Edward Cullen fell." I smirked pretending to be shocked at this revelation. Edward was always so smooth and un-clumsy.
"Emmett pushed me, thank you very much!" He said indignantly and climbed up next to me. I was sitting, bouncing slightly.
"So Esme didn't get her way?"
"No, Dad, strangely enough, loved the trampoline too."
"I bet they had sex on it." I said absentmindedly. Edward jumped a foot in the air in shock. I looked at him as he gave me a disgusted look.
"What?" I asked him. I didn't get it people have sex. Edward and I will have sex. Edward's parents would've have sex, since obviously he was here and besides when we arrive they were most likely dancing the horizontal tango.
"I'd rather not think about my parents doing it." He cringed.
"Honey," I said seriously, "you do know where babies come from, right?" I giggled. Boy, I never thought this was going to be a conversation I would have with my 21 year old boyfriend.
He rolled his eyes, "Bella, I'm not stupid it's just gross to think about your parents doing it. Would you ever like to think about Charlie and Renee doing it?"
"Charlie, god no." I shivered. "But I'm not immune, Edward, and I'm not naive." I laughed Edward was still pouting. "Remember how I was going to tell you a story about Renee?" I asked him.
"If it's about her and Phil having sex, or about you seeing them having sex, or her telling you about sex I'd prefer not to know." He flat out said. Guess I don't get to tell a story today. I thought about bringing up his parents again, but the look on his face just picturing my mother was enough torture for him. Instead I changed the subject.
"So, Emmett pushed you off the trampoline, why'd he do that?"
"I accidently jumped and kicked him in the balls." He said, but was still pouting, the conversation about parental sex still probably rolling around in his head.
I rolled my eyes, if he kept this up it would scare him off sex forever. He and I would both suffer in that situation. Instead of telling him this I laughed a little inside picturing little Edward and Emmett fighting.
"Oh Edward quit pouting." I told him and he grumbled that he wasn't pouting.
"One day let's have sex on this trampoline." I told him seriously receiving a shocked look.
"Lunch kids." Esme called from the back door. Edward got off and stuck the landing. I stared at him, knowing I wouldn't be able to jump off with a cast. I scooted to the edge and Edward picked me up by the waist and hoisted me over his shoulder.
My face met his ass. I must've done something good in a previous life.
"Ew Bella you want to do it on the trampoline after you just told me my parents just did it on the trampoline." And in the kitchen, I added but didn't tell. I don't want to ruin lunch for him.
He started walking to the house.
"Oh please Edward, I don't know if they had sex on the trampoline it was just a theory and besides just imagine it. Thrust, bounce, thrust, bounce." I giggle and ogled his ass.
He set me on my feet before we walked into the house. Edward had a little confused look on his face. The horny boy fighting the disgusted one. I just hoped the horny one won.
"You kids coming?"
Not yet Esme, but give us two weeks and we're go!
I smiled at Edward and followed Esme into the house. I hadn't looked around in this room before we left, but now I was drinking it in. It was the lounge room. The wall behind me was made of glass panels so that it looked like a wall of glass. It must've been tinted because it looked like a black wall on the outside.
"Wow."
"Yes, Carlisle thought it was a good idea. It did come in handy when the boys were younger."
I looked around again and my eyes fell on something. With it being summer, and me having an addiction to warm and cosy things, I looked straight past the huge television and found the warmest, softest looking blanket I'd ever seen. With the heat I was having withdrawals so I lightly fingered the wool, and I'd be lying if I didn't say it was incredibly soft.
"This is beautiful, Esme." I said as she walked past.
She turned to me and smiled and said, "Yes, I'm pretty sure that Emmett and Edward were conceived under this quilt." She was stroking the blanket too and froze when she said that. I had dropped it and laughed awkwardly. While Esme's face went redder, Edward's went whiter.
"What? I used to sit under that as a kid." Oh, his stork theory was just obliterated.
"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry Bella. I don't know why, but I it's just like I don't even think when I'm around you, like your one of my girlfriends."
We all laughed nervously, except Edward who was still standing there in shock. Carlisle walked in, oblivious to the awkwardness, "lunch anyone?" He looked at his wife's tinted face with a curious look, but she shook her head and led the way into the dining room.
"Bella, Emmett and I used to make forts under the cum cover." He said in a strangled voice.
"Oh don't be such a baby. You're alliterating, you can't be that shocked. Now let's go eat. I really like you mother by the way."
"She's usually not like this." Edward frowned.
"Well it's nice to know that not everybody has a working verbal filter all the same." I took his hand and dragged him into the dining room. I saw Carlisle squeeze Esme's hand and we all took a seat.
"I am really sorry," I was already waving my hand at her telling her it was alright.
"I suffer lapses too, sometimes."
"Sometimes?" Edward gave me a bewildered look. I nodded quickly and stared him down. He turned to eat smirking along the way. I started to eat too, but my fork and stomach dropped when Carlisle asked,
"So, how did you two meet?"
"Party."
"Wal-Mart."
I said the party, Edward had said the other. I looked at him and he quirked an eyebrow at me.
Why was he trying to embarrass me?
I looked at Carlisle and Esme who were waiting expectantly. Edward was watching me, waiting for me to fix this. Shit.
"Well, that is to say that when we first saw each other it was at Wal-Mart, but we first spoke at the party." I covered.
"Yes, I served her."
"And then I invited him to the party. It was my friend Rose's 21st."
I picked up my water glass and took a sip.
"Do you guys want to know what the first thing Bella said to me was?"
I tried to stop the water from exploding out of my mouth and I succeeded by letting it dribble down my chin.
"Was this at the party or at Wal-Mart? I'm just a little confused, you said you invited him to the party at work, but spoke to him first at the party." My jaw had unhinged a little at Carlisle delving techniques. He could probably get a patient to confess their deepest secrets, related or not to their medical problem.
"Well..."
I cut Edward off.
"You see I met my friend Rose in freshman year of high school..."
I went through the high school erection story and then onto the condom conundrum, the three boxes, the old men and then onto my nymphomaniac cries all the way to the party where I'd 'not so drunkenly' - yes changed that for the parents - called Edward and invited him to the party and then finished with finding him on my couch the next day.
I got kicked out. Right to the curb. Right there, just sitting on my ass.
No, just joking.
Carlisle and Esme laughed. Really fucking hard. My face red, beetroot, no not just my face, my entire body.
Edward leans over and whispers under his parents' howls, "I was only going to tell them about 'checkout boy number three'.
And if possible I blush even harder.
Why did I go there? I just wanted to tell the story my way and not the way Edward could've interpreted it. I want to crawl under the table, maybe live there until my face returned to normal colour. Oh god I would probably never leave. Stupid word vomit! It just came and came and came until I ran out, and just like real vomit it only stopped when I had no more to give.
I put my head down on the white table cloth hoping my blushed face didn't stain it.
Carlisle and Esme were still laughing, Edward was trying to stile his laughs as best as he could, which really wasn't good enough, but he was rubbing my back soothingly.
I sat up and smiled a shitty smile while their laughter died down to one of those quiet random giggles. Esme wiped the tears from her eyes.
"Should I leave?" I asked her, hoping she'd say yes and I could bury myself.
"No!" She leapt up from her seat and hugged me. "Please stay, I haven't laughed that hard since," she paused but didn't continue.
"Since?"
"I don't know." She pouted and I knew where Edward got his pouting face from, his mother. I laughed a little due to awkwardness.
"So you're not upset that you're son's girlfriend is a klutz and an over sharer that lacks the power to stop her mouth from, running off, I mean, cause you know if you are..." Edward clamped his hand on my mouth.
"Nope, I think it makes you even better." Esme smiled before her lips pressed into a thin line, "I'm not a huge fan of secrets." Though I knew the comment wasn't directed towards me I still felt the chills that accompanied it and made me promise myself that I'd never lie to this woman.
"I think that's why you met Edward, he seems to stop the flow of your words." Carlisle chuckled and pointed to Edward's hand that was still covering my mouth. He removed it hesitantly.
"I'm fine." I think I'm all word vomited out.
"Great, who wants some cake?" Esme bounced off to the kitchen and within seconds we were all sitting with some chocolaty, fudgy masterpiece that had me holding back moans of gratitude in between conversation. After all the plates were clear and we had lapsed into a comfortable silence Esme got up and cleared her and Carlisle's plate. I took Edward's and mine while Carlisle engaged Edward in some conversation about sport.
Edward looked over at me, I smiled at him and he relaxed into the conversation a bit more.
I could just picture him and Charlie getting along and the thought made me smile.
"Oh, Bella dear, you didn't have to do that." Esme took the plates from my hands.
"Oh I don't really mind, anyway, Edward and Carlisle are talking sport."
"Not your forte?" She smiled.
"No, I've never really been the coordinated type." Her eyes flickered down to my boot and she laughed.
"My son really likes you Bella."
Oh!
I didn't know what to say so I started helping Esme load the dishes into the dishwasher.
"I really like Edward too."
Oh really?
Yes.
That little voice dropped her jaw, she was speechless for once.
Esme beamed at me and then changed the subject, pleased with my answer. I helped her with the dishes while we made small talk.
Now if this was a cheesy Lifetime movie I would be sneaking glances at Edward the whole time Esme was giving me her secret apple pie recipe.
But this wasn't a cheesy Lifetime movie, this was my life. Esme wasn't giving me her secret apple pie recipe, she was telling me the lengths her own mother went to keep the recipe from her and I wasn't sneaking longing glances at Edward while I basked in the revelation that I could just possibly be falling for him because quite frankly there was a wall that separate us two.
But every now and then, after a laugh with Esme I would look at the impossibly white wall longingly and wonder...
Could I possibly be falling for Edward?
A/N I updated in under a week, so send me a complimentary review. Maybe answer the question of 'what the hell was going through Bella's brain' in this chapter. I'm pretty sure that next chapter she's going to get her cast off, you know what that means...