I have written, deleted, rewritten, deleted and restarted the next few chapters of this story so many times in the past few days. I'm still not completely happy with it but hopefully it will turn out okay. Thank you for your reviews, I hope you enjoy this next chapter! Please remember to leave a review and tell me what you think. xo
Chapter Thirteen:
The winter was quickly drawing in. The warm summer evenings were long gone and September brought an unusually cold spell. Zoe & Max had spent the summer frantically filling in adoption forms ready to submit their case to the agency. They were now subsequently patiently waiting for an answer about whether or not they could continue into the second stage of the adoption process. It had been a nerve wracking and frankly exhausting few weeks with tensions between the couple running unusually high. The more impatient they became, the more frequently they argued. The waiting was almost unbearable.
It was a restless Zoe that had woken Max with her constant fidgeting and he'd struggled to get back to sleep. Max rolled over in bed as Zoe shifted again, kicking him in the shins as she did so.
"Zoe?" The porter asked into the darkness, barely able to make out his wife in the shadows. He was answered by a heavy sigh. "Zo" He whispered. He reached over to place a comforting hand on the top of her arm. Zoe just shrugged it off, moving that little bit further away from Max. The porter began to feel anger bubbling in his stomach. That was until he heard her gentle sniffling which caused his heart to sink to the bottom of his stomach. "Oh Zoe" He whispered with a sad sigh. Reaching across he managed to pull her into a tight hug, despite her half-hearted attempts to pull away. As she settled into his chest, Max was surprised to hear heavy sobs begin to fall from her exhausted body.
"Zoe, what's wrong?" He managed to ask, his throat suddenly feeling constricted as he struggled against his emotions. The consultant didn't reply and Max outstretched his arm to rub comforting circles into her back. "It's okay sweetheart" He added gently, leaning to place butterfly kisses on the top of her head. Her breathing was laboured as she struggled against the tears. "Come on-" he told her softly "you're okay. Everything is going to be okay".
"I can't stand the waiting. I just want a yes or a no. The waiting is doing my head in" Came the snivelled reply, barely audible through the force of her sobs. Zoe attempted to bury her head further into Max's chest but he pulled back. Max softly touched her cheek, his touch as gentle as she'd ever known it.
"Oh Zoe" Her husband repeated softly, once again tracing soothing circles into her back. She shook her head, fresh tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. Max held her a little bit closer, his breath tickling her cheek.
"The longer it takes the more convinced I am they are going to say no" She managed to mumble "I can't go through that" The consultant added, her sobs lessened but the fear in her voice rose.
"Please don't think like that" Max whispered helplessly, now unable to fight the tears in his own eyes. Zoe's thoughts had a way of running away with themselves, especially at night. Max would often find her laid awake worrying about worse case scenarios. He was usually able to silence her thoughts with gentle comfort and a familiar embrace. This time however, Max was struggling to know what to say. He couldn't promise her everything was going to work out because there was absolutely no guarantee of that. This situation was currently out of their hands and that's what made it so scary. Max gently kissed her forehead he held her exhausted body as she calmed down. "Whatever happens Zo, we deal with it together" He told her softly.
Zoe managed a gentle nod, once again struggling to fight against the tears.
"Until then, we just need to focus on the positives and wait patiently for that phone call" He continued. Zoe sighed heavily, her frustration evident. "I know it's easier said than done Zo but we can't tear ourselves up whilst we wait indefinitely. We just need to try and carry on as normal and put it to the back of our minds as much as possible. We can't worry about something that hasn't happened yet. If it's a yes, then that's fantastic. If it's a no, we just find another adoption agency and start again"
"But what if the next agency say no? And the one after that?" A shaky voice asked.
"And what if this one says yes?" Max asked simply causing Zoe to fall silent. "Think about the positives Zo. What if they say yes? We'll be one step closer" He added softly, kissing her hair as she rested her head on his chest. The pair fell silent for a long while. Max ran his fingers through Zoe's hair continuously, hoping to lull her into a gentle slumber. Her eyes were becoming heavy as morning became closer.
"Do you think they'll say yes?" A whisper suddenly asked, her sentence slow as she fought the sleep which was threatening to wash over her. Max struggled to answer, he hoped with every ounce of his being that the answer would be yes. The porter sighed softly, continuing to run his fingers through her hair.
"Go to sleep darling" He whispered softly. It took a matter of seconds for Zoe's breathing to even out and her body to become limp due to sleep. Max smiled, placing a goodnight kiss on the top of her hair. It didn't matter that his mind was in overdrive. He didn't care that every part of his body ached from the uncomfortable position he was laid in. He wasn't even bothered by the fact that he was still awake when their alarm went off. All that mattered to him was that Zoe had slept peacefully in his arms and she now had the energy to face whatever the day had to throw at them.