The Night of the Floundering Female
Chapter 13
Theopolis Thistle
Jim was up early next morning to see to the horses and gather some firewood for the range. They'd brought some eggs with them, from Summerville, and he broke four into a pan, with some cooking grease and a slice of bread, cut in two.
By the time Artie surfaced, breakfast was on the table and coffee was brewing on top of the range. He sat on the bed, getting ready to hop to the table. Jim came forward with a piece of bough that he had fashioned into a crutch, and held it out to his friend.
"Wow, you must have got up early to make this. Thanks," he said, as he positioned it under his armpit and tried a few steps.
"It was a lucky find," Jim said, sitting down at the table.
Artie followed suit. "Jim, my boy, you're spoiling me," he said, tucking into is share of the eggs and fried bread.
"M-make th-the m-most of it," Jim replied, "it's b-beef jerky for lunch."
Artie grimaced. He'd just about had his fill of the stuff over the past two weeks.
Jim got up and fetched the coffee. He poured them both a cup and took a sip.
"Why are you looking at m-me like th-that?" he asked, seeing Artie frown.
"It's just something I read in that book Doctor Webber lent me. If you want to cure a stammer you should lay off of coffee and alcohol."
"You have t-to b-be kidding," Jim said, taking another sip.
"I think we should take this seriously, Jim. I appreciate that you're now talking freely but things will be different when we get back to civilisation, and you know it."
Jim put down his cup and studied the table for a while.
"Alright," he said. "Let's s-say I do what th-the b-book s-says. Are you s-sure it will work?"
"I can't say, Jim. The book mostly deals with cases of children, ones that are affected by nerves or physical weakness. I can't say that either of those applies to you, and you're not a child, but the author also talks about traumatic effects and I think that does fit your situation. I don't know everything Loveless did, to you and I'm not going to ask you to tell me. However, I know how much you hate not being in control and I'm sure that, just having that thing forced in your ear, taking away your free will, must have caused a certain amount of trauma."
"You're right, I don't want t-to t-talk about it, b-but I will, if it will help."
"Jim, have you noticed that you only stammer on words beginning with particular letters, namely B, M, S and T?
"No I hadn't. Does th-that m-mean s-something?"
"I don't know, but it is interesting."
"What else does th-the b-book s-say?" Jim asked.
It suggests lots of exercise, both physical and with your speech."
"S-such as?"
"There's a good one here," Artie said, finding a page in the book and indicating the passage to Jim.
"Th-theopolis Th-thistle th-the th-thistle s-sifter..."Jim trailed off. "You have t-to b-be kidding. I can't s-say th-this."
"That's the whole point," Artie said. "You sit there and repeat that at least ten times, while I clear away the breakfast things, and then I'll let you go on a hard and fast ride on that stallion of yours. That should blow some cobwebs out of your brain."
"Th-thanks, you're all heart," Jim replied, turning back to the book and starting again. "Th-theopolis Th-thistle th-the...," he began again.
"Don't forget to say it real fast, as fast as you can," Artie said.
Jim sighed and started again. "Th-theopolis Th-thistle..."
ooooooooooo0ooooooooooo
The days at the shack passed in much the same way as that first day. When Jim went for a ride, he usually came back with a rabbit which he cooked the first couple of nights, mainly because of Artie's ankle. After that Artie insisted that he would do the cooking.
"I can easily do it," Jim said. "I used t-to cook in t-the army."
"Oh is that what you call it? I hate to accuse you of lying Jim, but jamming an unrecognisable animal on a stick and cremating it is something completely different to cooking."
"Needs m-must," Jim replied.
"That's my point exactly. If I'm not going to avoid indigestion, if not death, then I'll do the cooking."
Jim shrugged and then grinned as he threw himself onto his bed, place his arms above his head, tipped his hat forward, and closed his eyes. "Knock yourself out!" he said.
Artie smiled, not least because he could look forward to dinner, now he was in charge. What really pleased him was the small changes he had noticed in Jim over the last couple of days. He was more relaxed and, although the stammer had not gone, he wasn't having so much trouble with his words, and they rolled more readily off his tongue. Artie was thankful for any change and it was only a short time since Jim had begun the exercises. He hadn't been so successful in persuading him to give up his coffee, though he had limited it to one cup in the morning.
ooooooooooo0ooooooooooo
After they'd been there five days, Artie's ankle had recovered enough for him to go riding with Jim, not his favourite past-time, but a good opportunity for them to be together and share the sunshine and the fresh air.
"It's good to get away from the shack at last," Artie said.
"Feeling tied to the stove, were you?" Jim ribbed him.
"I'd gladly tie myself to the stove if it kept you away from it."
"Very funny."
There was silence for a moment.
"I want to thank you for everything, Artie."
"I didn't do it, you did," Artie told him. It was wonderful to hear Jim speak without a stammer.
"Maybe, but I couldn't have done it without you, you know what I'm like, when I have a problem."
Yeah, you either bottle it up or you start a fight."
Jim laughed. "That's about it," he agreed. Then he sobered up. "I can't promise that won't happen in the future but this time I really tried to open up."
Artie nodded. "I know," he said. In fact, two nights ago was when Jim had turned the corner, after telling Artie what had happened to him at the hands of Loveless. It was worse than Artie had hoped but not quite as bad as he had imagined. He knew what it cost Jim to tell me about it but he also knew that it had contributed to his friend's recovery.
ooooooooooo0ooooooooooo
On the evening of fourth of June, Artie and Jim arrived at Fort Cheyenne. Jim was looking tanned and fit and Artie was relaxed and smiling. They had rendezvoused with the Wanderer a couple of days before, arriving in Cheyenne that morning, a short ride from the fort.
Artie had telegraphed ahead and so they were met at the gates by Colonel Eckland, Sweetie and Doctor Webber.
They dismounted and shook hands with the Colonel, and then Sweetie ran forward and hugged them both. "I'm so glad you could make it," she said. "Now everything will be perfect."
"Hello, gentlemen," Doctor Webber said. "I echo my daughter's sentiments. I trust you are recovered, Mr West?"
"Yes, thanks to Artie here," Jim replied, smiling at his partner.
"I tried the self cure, outlined in the book you lent me. By the way, here it is, with my thanks," he added, handing it back.
"Congratulations, Mr Gordon."
"Jim was the one who did all the hard work."
"Yes, but it was Artie who kept my nose to the grindstone." He patted Artie on the back.
"I don't care how you did it, I'm just glad Jim's all right," Sweetie said.
"And here was I believing you wanted to look after me for the rest of your life," Jim said, dismayed.
Sweetie laughed. "I would have done it, but I think being married to Lieutenant Kirby will be much more to my liking," she said, cheekily.
"Well, you can't win 'em all," Jim said.
"Gentlemen, let me show you to your quarters," Colonel Eckland said. I'd like to introduce you to Mrs Eckland as well."
"Lead on, Colonel," Artie said, and they set off, with Sweetie walking in between the two agents.
ooooooooooo0ooooooooooo
At dinner, later that evening, the boys met Lieutenant Lance Kirby, by his proud fiancée. He was tall with blond hair, and an equally blond beard and moustache. He looked down with real affection at Sweetie as she introduced him to them. She was called away by her father at that point and left the three men alone.
"Sweetie has told me a lot about you," Kirby said, "and she confessed what she's been up to. I can't really explain her actions except to say that it's just like her to try and right a wrong but, even she admits, she went too far this time. I'm glad to see that you seem to have forgiven her. It would crush her if you hadn't."
"Then I'll just say that there is now nothing to forgive and we wish the pair of you every happiness," Jim said.
"That's very kind of you; I appreciate it," Kirby said, "and I'm glad you could make it for the wedding tomorrow. It means a lot to Sweetie."
Artie looked at the Lieutenant and said, "Tell me, is Sweetie always so clumsy, and how the hell did you survive this long?"
Kirby laughed. "I long ago started loving her for the mayhem she causes wherever she goes. She is so sweetly apologetic, except when she's oblivious to the results of her actions. Also, for some reason, she's never clumsy when it really counts, which makes her an excellent assistant in a medical emergency."
"There you are, Artie," Jim said. "I told you not to worry about the Lieutenant." At that moment dinner was announced and they moved toward the dining room.
ooooooooooo0ooooooooooo
As Jim and Artie sat back on the Wanderer, waiting to hear from Washington about their next assignment, they talked about the wedding.
"I thought it went off very well considering Sweetie was involved," Jim said.
"Yeah, there were only the minor matters of a dog running off with her hat and the fact that a mule ate their wedding cake. A perfect example of how they can expect their married life to proceed."
"You obviously weren't there when she tripped up the pastor and he fell on the canon," Jim said.
"So that's why he performed the ceremony with a cut on his forehead and his arm in a sling. Good job there was a doctor present."
"There's one thing that really bother me, Artie."
"What's that Jim," Artie said, concerned.
"What the hell will their children turn out like?"
"Will they even survive?" Artie said.
"Perhaps they won't have any."
"You always look on the bright side," Artie said, picking up the newspaper and hiding his head in it.
Jim lay back on the couch and closed his eyes. "Th-the b-bright s-side? Not m-me," Jim said
ooooooooooo0ooooooooooo
THE END