Chapter 13 In which House learns that a really enthusiastic tantrum is a joy to behold

"A gift is a terrible thing to waste." This is what Sheila must have been thinking that fine morning as she was waking up.

She tantrumed about what she had to wear to school.

She tantrumed about what to eat for breakfast.

She tantrumed about having to sit in a baby car seat.

She was tantruming now because her mom had just unceremoniously dropped her inside the gate and left without a word.

Sheila's gift was tantruming and she could sustain a good tantrum for hours.

Sheila's sister Sara, at nearly two, was the complete opposite of Sheila.

If you picked out her clothes, she loved them.

If you put breakfast in front of her, she said "Tank coo."

When you put her into the car she went right to her car seat and waited to be buckled in.

Sara was a good girl who smiled and made others smile.

Sara looked at Sheila and smiled and giggled at her sister.

"Mr. Greg!!! Sara's making fun of me!" shrieked Sheila. "Tell her to stop it nooowww!"

Mr. Greg walked away and took Sara with him. "Let's look at a book before your sister teaches you something that you don't need to know."

"Otay" responded Sara. She grabbed a book and brought it to House. It was a Dr Seuss book that he had enjoyed as a child called Go Dog Go.

Just as House started to read, Sheila flung herself onto the floor and started to wail. "I don't like that book!"

House picked up Sara and moved across the room. Sheila replanted herself in front of House and Sara and commenced her howling once again. This time House continued reading the book as though Sheila wasn't there.

About half way through the book Jackie entered the room. "Sheila!" she called. "Stop that and come play with me!"

Immediately, Sheila picked herself up, put a smile on her face and went to play with Jackie.

House gave a half smile and said to himself, "Faker!" Aloud, he said to Sara, "How long do you have to practice to get good at a tantrum like that?"

Sara hopped down from House's lap and stood in front of him. As he watched, she became angry; her mouth turned down, she furrowed her eye brows, and let fly with what could only have been baby expletives. Occasionally, House could pick out words like "NO" and "Won't!" Next came the tears; not moisture at the corners of her eyes, but big crocodile tears! Then, without warning, Sara held her breath until she began to turn blue and fell on the floor. House's jaw dropped in amazement!

Within seconds, Sara opened her eyes, looked over at a dumbstruck House and giggled with glee at the look on his face! She hopped up, gave him a hug and then ran off. Suddenly, she stopped and practiced her tantrum again and then laid on the floor laughing at herself. She did it one more time but she made sure that she was right in front of where Sheila was playing before she began. This time when she opened her eyes and giggled she said, "Sheila, waahaahaa!" It was obvious that Sara was doing her Sheila imitation. Finally, she hopped up and went to the coloring table.

The rest of the morning was uneventful. That was good for House because he was in a quandary about what he had seen from those two sisters. The big question involved whether this was a skill only for the very young female or if it could be refined with aging. House also wondered how many times he had been taken in by such a show when he was dating someone. He decided that he would be happier not thinking about it – ever again.

After the children had gone to their classes House helped Amy with the clean-up.

"I just want to say that I was very impressed by how you handled Sheila today. Most people try to make her happy and that just makes it worse. Where did you learn that?"

House just shook his head and looked embarrassed.

Finally he said, "That's how Cuddy and Wilson treat me when I act that way."

House left the room and headed to his office.