I l00kd aruond n suddenly… I wuz inn da future!

Peopl wer all aruon, selling stuffs and being frindli w/ eachoda. Da plaz wuz so nice lookin, but den I releaz…. It wuz Diagram Ally!

*BUMP* "Please do look where you're going, young madam. It is rather scary around these parts." Sum man s8d. HAH! He dunno whu I am. I am ESTIQUE! I dun l00k wer im going, OBVI! I dun hab 2!1!

"um, scuse you yu random man. U r speakin to me, da PRETIEST, KINDEST, HUMBLEST GRL in al dis UGLY STUPID cuntri! Surly u dun mean dat, i shud actually CARE qbout U? U have insulated m3 for da l8test tim, broda! Dis bulliying inds NOW!" I SCREAM at the evil man that is OBVIOUSLY BULILILIYING ME! I cun evn catch a break here in da PAST, *CRYING*!

"W-Well, little miss, I'm afraid you don't understa-"

"IMPERIUS!"

I SHOUTED da curse in a wispering qinda wey. Now dis man wil help me in da PAST n stuff! Im so smart xD!

"now oldie man, t8 me 2 ur house kk"

"As you wish, lady Estique-sama."

TIMESKIP

Da old man t00k me 2 his huse, n it wuz pretty nice.

"ur hus iz prtty nice."

"thank you estique-sama, but this old man doesn't deserve your praise…!"

I dought aboot it n I gaspd. "Youz rite u kno! Quik gib m3 500 bucks n were eban!"

"ok"

Den w3 went in2 da hus. "Although it might not interest you, I have two sons, Dumbledore and Snape."

I graspde! …DIS OLDIE IZ DA DAD OF SN8P n DUMBIEDORK? DUMPSTERDOOR N SNAK R BROTHERS? I AM LIEK S000000 SCHOKED RN OH WOW I CAIN EVN FR!

"And I am the greatest wizard who ever lived, Gellert Grindelwald."

Whu? Lol idunno him, hes prob n0 0ne important lol xD

"kk old man, I c uz rich so plz bcome my family so I can get dat cash ok noob?"

"Alright. I'm signing the papers right now. By the way, I believe that a smart person as you can help me with a problem I have. You see, I'm kind of wondering if I should just go for it and take over the world. The lazy part in me kind of doesn't want to, but I know I could do it with my amazing abilities. What do you think I should do, Estique-sama?"

"whu? oh, rite, uhhhhh, whatever u juz said, do da OPPOSITE of whut you wanted to do kk?"

"Alright then, I won't take over the world. Thank you very much for your thoughtful decision, Estique-sama. As a reward, please take one or all my children to marry. Dumbledore or Snape."

At that moment sn8p went into da r00m. he wuz veriiiiiiii handsum, n gudlookin and I wuz liek s00 frekin shockkkd yu kno! Its SN8P! he. Iz. UGGERS! U-G-L-I, he ugggli! S0 whi he gudlookin now?

Den I remmembah da conversash i had w/ barri! Sn8p is a vampiya!

"uhhh plz go out of da room old man I n33d 2 sp3ak w/ snap."

"ok"

"I wonder why you requested to speak with me?"

"look, Snape. *Sigh* I kno u r OBVIUSLY in luv w/ m3. Trust me, it happen a lot."

Snape wuz SOOO SURPRISED. "…I-I thought I, um, h-hid it well enough…! I-I-I'm not as old as you yet, but…! Please don't reject me, pretty lady! I LOVE YOU!"

I knew it. Sad, really. I smile.

"I cannot b w/ chu, snap. Xuz im a… TIME TRAVLER!"

"HUHHH" He gadped. Tis very sad fo his heaty cuz he can never b wit me. I kno hes like, soooooo frkin sad inside. Tsk…, ani1 dat cant b w/ me ultimately failz at evriyhin! So sadddd.

"but I habst ta tell u, wen u get older, u wil fal in luv w a girl named Lilly, but shes an impasta! Da real lily is a grl dat is trapped in a muggle home w her auntie muggle n unvle muggle and her evil cousin. Da real lily is trapped, but is SUPER EDGY and a VAMPIRE so you shud SAV her! Her EVIL COUSIN is foolin everi1 in da scool in2 thinkin dat SHES lilly when she's really her EVIL JEALOUS COUSIN, LILLIE! So sav hr, n den u shud fall in lov w/ her ok m8"

"ok, I think im in love w her already" he wuz blushin. SO Amaze!

"cool story bro, any way ur bro is gonna grow up to b a gross weirdo perv that is also a weeb pedo. So plz fite him togeta w/ me now plz"

"ok"

Den SUDDENREI!

DUMBIEDORK SWOOPS IN TO DA ROOM! HUHHH!

"hei snape wuz up-" I PUNCHED HIM in his trashy face! Den snpae jumps in and starts to beat him 2! NICE!

We continew for liek 20 years. Den, Grinch came into da room. "Dumbliekins, NOO! Snape, Estique, WHY?"

"I hab telekinesis. also my cool vampiya-fairy-centaur-timetraveller-wizrad-powez tell me dat hes SECRETLY a CRAZY weeaboo, scheming evil manipul8tib person and a GIANT PERV!1!"

Grindiekins look at dumbiedorks. "….hmm, ok den." He say & leaf da room. But den I got b0red of beatin him up.

Then SUDDENLEY!

A CARRR SLAMS INTO DA HOUSE!

"…N-Nani desu ka everyone kawaii desu ka moshi moshi xD" Dumbliebore said weakly from da ground.

"Is there a weeaboo guy here with a Boku no Hero Academia T-shirt?" Some black suited men w/ sunglasses say. He had silver hair n lookd rrly angry. Da car dey had is a golden mercedis bents rolls roys ferari audi lamborgine versace, so I niw dey were triplemegauber richhhhhhhhh!

"ye dis is him. Y r u guts her?" I ask cutely.

"This guy was our tour guide, as we are from Italy. Our mafia boss Tuna paid him generously, but as soon as boss did, this idiot here started to speak in weeaboo-Japanese only…! We didn't understand any of it, then he took our money and ran. We've had to fend for ourselves in an unknown city! That's why, we are here today for revenge!"

Da man lookd RRLY scary n really strong, so I sneakily kniw what to do.

"Yeh he's… right here. Plese take him with u!"

"NOOO! NAZE KONNA KOTO HAPPEN DESU KA? I NEED DA OKANE TO BUY THE LATEST HINATA FIGURINE NOOOOO! SHINITAKU NAI; ANIKI, TASUKETE KUREEEEE!"

We sat on da fl00r w/ popcorn n had da fun watching dumbie get beeten up. But den…I gasped! BULBASOAR GOT KIDNAPD BY DA MAFIA GANG! FOREVER!

2 b CONTINUAWED!1!

DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!