Author's Note: I am so deeply, terribly sorry for the long silence. You did not deserve that. I just had some personal stuff I had to take care of and actually, I still do. But I had this finished anyway, so I wanted to upload it for the amazing people that like reading what I have to write.
I bow down in gratitude, for my amazing Beta: Marina. You are beyond amazing, beyond wonderful and beyond every other synonym I could ever come up with.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, Kishimoto does. I only own my own creativity and just a little courage.
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Just A Little Courage
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Days have passed, and not a single photograph, not a single note has surfaced. As I look out of the window in my classroom, a small smile tugs at my lips.
"Iruka-sensei…?"
Looking up, I find my students all looking at me expectantly. It's endearing, really.
"Iruka-sensei, we finished our essays," All but grinning, he waves his paper in the air.
"Yeah sensei, all done!" Smiling wide, Katana follows her classmate's example.
I smile again, "All of you?" The response I get is a chorus of 'yeses' and paper's being waved around. My smile widens as I look at the clock, "Then how about we call it a day?" The resounding cheers are deafening. Really, like ten minutes make all the difference in the world…
Getting up, I tell the class to leave their essays on my desk and exit the classroom in a quiet and orderly fashion. Hopefully they won't make too much of a ruckus. As the children give me their best attempt at being quiet in the face of ten extra minutes of free time, my gaze drifts over to the window again. Somewhere out there is Genma. I've thought that so many times over the last four years, but now it's different. Now I know that he's thinking the same thing about me.
Tonight, we're having dinner together again. Well, to be fair, we've had dinner together every day since our first date. It's like we don't even date anymore. We just rolled straight into this relationship. Sometimes, like right now, I almost wish we hadn't. I like dating, doing new and exciting things, getting to know one another in the wackiest ways one can think of. I kinda like that.
Not to say I don't like this, not at all. And today is going to be new and exciting. Genma is cooking for me. At his place. Where I haven't been before yet. Why haven't I been there before…? Frowning a little, I try to remember. Right… That first date, we went to Genma's best friend's parents' restaurant. Ended up at my place. Stayed there the whole next day. Then, on Sunday, he picked me up after sleeping at his own house. Went to see a movie together, then had dinner. Yesterday I had to work. We'd agreed to meet at my favorite restaurant. But today…
Frowning, I try to recall what he said when he left on Saturday. Something about… A cat? Is that right? Honestly, I was so entranced by the way his lips moved I wasn't really paying attention to the words that came out. But I think he said 'cat'. Yeah, now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure of it. Genma has a cat. That's why he had to go home. To feed the cat.
Sighing quietly, I pick up the essays that my students left behind in an unruly pile. Straightening the papers, I stare off into space. Genma… Genma Shiranui… I love him. I've always loved him. But I didn't even know who I was in love with, not really. Do I know now? For the most part, I think. We've talked a lot over the last few days. About our past, about what we want for the future, things we like, things we don't like… Maybe we're dating after all… It just feels so different from all the other times because this is Genma, and we seem to be fitting together almost perfectly.
He drinks mostly coffee, I drink mostly coffee. He likes cooking, I like cooking. He's gay, I'm gay – not unimportant. And, I feel my cheeks heating up, he likes big cocks, I have a big cock. His sense of humor matches my own. He's protective, I feel a little unsafe all the time. All the time? No… Not anymore. I'm actually starting to feel… Safe. Maybe not all the time and I'm certainly not opening my curtains any time soon, but… I think I at least don't always feel so scared anymore.
"Iruka?"
Spinning on my heels I feel the panic flaring up again. What was I thinking?! I'm still scared. Of course I am. My life is one big mess! I have no reason to feel safe! How on earth could I think – Oh, it's Genma… "Hey… What are you doing here?"
"Hmm," Coming into the classroom, he leans against the first desk, "Is it okay? Me showing up here, I mean."
I chuckle involuntarily, "Of course, why wouldn't it be?"
"I dunno… Maybe you don't want people to get any ideas in their head?" He sounds a little insecure, his fingers tracing the name that a student once carved into the wood.
Smiling, I saunter over to where Genma stands, running my hands up his arms before gently cupping his face, "What kind of ideas would that be, Genma?"
"Eh…" Suddenly chuckling, he blinks, "I was being stupid, huh?"
"Kinda," Winking, I lean over for a quick kiss, startled as a young, bright voice interrupts us.
"There! That's Iruka-sensei!"
Quickly turning my eyes on the door, I frown lightly, "Officer, can I help you?"
The man by the door smiles a little, "You don't remember me, do you?"
"Eh…" Letting go of Genma, I take small step back as I study the man in the doorway. He looks to be around my own age, wearing the uniform of the Konoha police force. His light grey eyes and sandy brown hair spark some recognition in me, but I can't for the life of me remember where I've seen this man before. Confused, I shake my head a little.
Smiling softly, he enters the classroom, throwing a glance back to see if the little girl – I'm pretty sure it was Nana, given her voice – has left, "It's fine. The last time we spoke was several years ago, after all. And you were rather troubled at the time. My name is –"
"Ryouichi! Now I remember! You work for Ageha!" Excited that I got it right, I beam at the other man.
His smile widens, then turns sad, "Unfortunately, no. Ageha died a few months ago. I took over his position."
"He died…? I didn't know…" Stumbling back a few steps, I lean against the desk, "If I'd known –"
"Per his husband's wishes, none but immediate family were informed. But that's not why I'm here," Nodding at Genma – and I'm ashamed to admit I'd totally forgotten he was even here – Ryouichi's tone is soft, "Is he aware of the circumstances?"
I almost laugh, even after all these years, even after polishing up his looks and manners… Ryouichi is still an ignorant fool. If Genma didn't know, then this guy would have just hinted at a very private incident. Biting my lip to keep from laughing, I nod, "He knows. But if there's anything you want to discuss about it, I'd rather we didn't do this at work," Honestly, this guy has my address, right? He's one of the very few that can access it. Why didn't he come to my apartment?
"I understand that. But I've been unable to reach you anywhere else."
Oh right... All of the sudden I'm not always home anymore…
"Do you have a little time? There is a teahouse just down the street, they have privacy booths."
Sighing, I look up at Genma, "Are you coming too?"
Genma chuckles, clearly ignoring Ryouichi's faint blush, "If you want me to. I guess I know what this is about, huh?"
"Yeah… The reason I freaked out on you…"
Nodding, Genma straightens, "If you want me to be there, I will. Have to admit, I'm a little curious…"
And so we head to the teahouse. The three of us. In complete silence. Walking down the street in between the two men, I sigh quietly. Looking up at Genma, I pull a little face. He winks at me. Then I turn my gaze on Ryouichi, he gives me a comforting smile. I sigh again. I don't need to be comforted, I need this silence to end! Clenching my jaw, I wrack my brain for something – anything – to talk about. Worrying the inside of my lip, I look up at the sky. Nothing comes to mind.
"So… Ryouichi, was it?" Genma leans forward just a little, looking past me at the other man.
The guy looks almost startled, "That's correct."
"Genma Shiranui," Extending his hand, Genma smirks, "The boyfriend."
My eyes fly open as my cheeks heat up. He said it! He actually said it! 'Boyfriend'… I was too hesitant to call him that, too scared that Genma might not feel ready for it. Swallowing, I look up into his warm smile. I smile back, needing to remind myself that kissing him in the middle of the street, while he's introducing himself to a police officer, might not be the best of moves.
"Indeed you are…" Taking Genma's hand, Ryouichi smiles briefly. The smile doesn't reach his eyes though, and the whole thing looks a little sad. Like Ageha's smile always did. Come to think of it, Ageha looked about as tired as Ryouichi does too. Makes you wonder, doesn't it?
"I just thought I'd set the record straight," Releasing the other man's hand, Genma tucks his own into his pocket, "You seemed inclined to ignore my existence…"
"Not at all. I'm actually very happy," Again, that sad smile graces Ryouichi's face, "Even though I might not look it. Most people in Iruka-sensei's position retreat completely. I'm happy to see that he didn't."
I'm right here, you know… Pulling a little face, I decide to let it slide. But as we walk into the teashop, I let out a relieved sigh. Soon. Soon I'll know what's up. Ryouichi excuses himself for a minute, going over to arrange a privacy booth. Mercilessly chewing on my lip, I stand trembling. I'm nervous, anxious to find out why Ryouichi sought me out.
A warm hand gently takes my own, and Genma gives me a comforting squeeze, leaning over a little, he mumbles, "Don't forget, protection is what I do best. And I'm pretty sure I do it better than that guy…"
A nervous chuckle escapes me, but still I feel the need to defend the police officer, whispering back, "Ryouichi isn't so bad, Genma…"
"Oh, didn't say that," He winks, "I'm just that amazing," As I chuckle again, Genma beams at me.
"Alright, I got us a booth," Smiling briefly, Ryouichi motions for us to follow him. As we do so, Genma doesn't let go of my hand. It brings forth a few logistical problems, as there isn't much room to maneuver to begin with, but his hand around my own also offers me comfort, so I don't let go either.
As we sit down, the waiter immediately shows up, and we each order a cup of coffee. Bowing politely, the waiter closes the booth. Expectantly, I turn my eyes on Ryouichi.
He clears his throat before folding his hands on the table. Taking a deep breath, his eyes turn towards me, "Late Sunday night, officers from the Minority Harassment Taskforce arrested a man who had snuck into one of our protégé's apartments. He currently remains in questioning, however –"
As a polite knock on the door to our booth sounds, Ryouichi immediately stops talking. Reaching out, he slides the door open himself, accepting our order with a quiet 'thank you'. After putting the tray down on the table, he closes the door once more. Genma silently passes the coffee cups around. Seemingly automatically dropping a sugar cube in mine before handing it to me. I thank him with a quick smile, before turning my attention back to Ryouichi. Genma remembers how I like my coffee, great. But this is more important right now.
"As I was saying…" Ryouichi blinks, trying to get his thoughts back together, "Right, this individual currently remains in questioning. But so far we have evidence linking him to three separate cases, as well as verbal admission that there are at least two more. Now," Raising his hand slightly, Ryouichi silently asks me to stay quiet for a little longer. It's difficult, but I manage somehow, "We have no evidence linking him to you, nor has he admitted as much. But the way he works is eerily similar to what you've encountered, and he's been at this for at least that long, so we can reasonably assume that there might be a connection."
"So you're saying he can open his curtains again?" Genma's tone is even, but I can distinctly hear the relief hidden away in his voice.
Blinking, Ryouichi turns his gaze towards Genma before looking back at me, "By all means! I had no idea you still kept them closed…" Frowning, he rubs his forehead, his tone much quieter, "Though I should've expected it, I guess…"
Feeling hurt, I swallow, "What the hell is that supposed to mean…?"
"Eh?" Turning his head a little, Ryouichi glances up at me, a confused expression on his face. But then, understanding starts to dawn and he straightens his back as he smiles at me briefly, "Please don't take this the wrong way Iruka-sensei, but you're… Gentle. You're one of those rare guys that comes to us for help, and then proceeds to actually do what we suggest. You didn't yell at us, you didn't ramble off a list of things you'd like to do to the guy should we manage to catch him, you didn't resist the move, or us helping you move your stuff, you just… Worked with us. You're not the kind of guy who goes out looking for vengeance, are you?"
"Not really… I mean, what good would that do? There is no-one to exact vengeance on. Not to mention the fact that me killing him wouldn't really change anything. He'd be off the streets, yeah. But…" Sighing, I stare down at my coffee, "Even after what he did… He doesn't deserve something like that. I'd rather see him get locked up, and actually get a chance to reflect…"
"Mandatory therapy," Again Ryouichi smiles briefly, "It's part of the program. But that's just the thing. You didn't get angry so much, as you were scared. I should've probably realized that wouldn't have gone away in a few years time. Ageha would've realized. I'm just his sorry-ass replacement. I'm sorry."
Shaking my head just a little, I take a small sip of my coffee, "I'm sure you're doing just fine, Ryouichi…" As a small sigh escapes me, I realize that's about all the support I can offer the man right now, "I guess this means I still shouldn't get my hopes up, huh?"
"Correct. We're currently doing a handwriting analysis. After that, I should be able to tell you more."
Next to me, Genma shifts, "Then why didn't you wait until you had something concrete to tell Iruka? Why show up with barely anything at all?"
"Ageha would've wanted it this way. He would always tell me to be as open as possible, to not withhold any information that might help people find even the slightest sliver of peace," Taking a sip of his own coffee, Ryouichi is quiet for a few seconds. When he speaks again his tone is soft, reminiscent of Ageha's, "Iruka-sensei, in the years since we last saw each other, did this person ever contact you again?"
Shaking my head a little, I look up, "Doesn't mean I feel any safer, Ryouichi. If I did –" Looking away, I bite back my tears. Memories are flooding my mind. The notes, the photographs. The indescribable fear I felt when I realized my curtains were open, "If I did, I wouldn't be living in the dark…"
"I get it," Emptying out his coffee cup, Ryouichi stands, "I will keep you posted of any and all developments. If you feel it's been too long, don't hesitate to come by the security office. Just ask for me, okay?"
As I nod, he takes his leave. The second the door closes behind Ryouichi, Genma throws his arm around me, pulling me tight against his body. His faint cologne somehow makes even this small booth feel like home and I push my face against his shoulder. Quietly crying, I can only hope that it really is all over now.