Chapter 12
This is here:
"You do realise that this whole story is quite incredible, yes?" Remus asked, clutching his tea cup as if it were a life line.
Harry nodded; Hermione glared at Ron who was absent-mindedly fiddling with Slytherin's Locket. She finally snatched it away from him with a determined air and placed it carefully in the middle of the table.
"But you believe us, right?" Harry asked.
Remus shrugged after a moment's hesitation. "I see no reason why you should lie to me. Although this spells trouble and sleepless nights. Not only do we have to bring you back to your own dimension, Harry, but there's also the implications of Severus' actions to consider... It seems we have been wrong about him yet again."
"D'you really think he's on our side though?" Ron asked.
"I don't know. I think by this point he's on nobody's side but his own."
This isn't:
Harry did not mention any particulars of his dinner with Regulus to Severus because that would have meant analysing his own feelings on the matter too deeply. Nevertheless, he couldn't help but wonder why the other Harry was together with Severus. It was true that the man wasn't the nasty bastard of his own reality but the fact remained that he was not, and would never be, an attractive or popular man. His personality here was acceptable, Harry supposed, especially considering the alternative.
Still, did the other Harry really like or even love him? Or was this whole relationship more a way of getting one up on Regulus Black? He couldn't ask Severus; Harry wasn't that heartless and asking anybody else seemed out of the question. Perhaps his mother or Sirius would know, but he hadn't seen either of them in a week and it would betray too much to satisfy his own curiosity.
Instead he concentrated on trying to find the right day, even though he grew more and more frustrated by their endeavours; and Severus still hadn't managed to get the potion right.
"This is rubbish," Harry said gloomily, watching the other man dump another cauldron of botched potion into the bin, "At this rate you'll be broke from buying the ingredients and I an old man."
"I was thinking," Severus said, "that it was perhaps not the smartest idea for me to brew the potion myself, seeing as it is my blood which it reacts with at the very beginning. Perhaps we should let somebody else brew it."
"Like who?"
"I was thinking of Remus."
"I thought you wanted to keep this whole thing secret?"
"I don't want the majority of the Order to know," Severus corrected, casting a quick Scourgify on the whole kitchen, "It would be incredibly distracting at this point in time and so far they couldn't have been of any help anyway. If you really want to tell people, Harry, I won't keep you from it. But Remus is a very good friend – I trust him."
"Remus, I'm glad you could come," Severus said, welcoming his friend at the door and helping him take off his coat, "I know that you must be tired after a Full Moon."
"It's quite all right!" Remus said cheerfully and Harry did indeed detect a hint of tiredness in his voice, "I wasn't feeling well enough to Apparate so I took the Knight Bus instead. But I should be fine if you don't expect any daring feats of wizardry from me today."
Harry smiled and shook his head. "How about we start with a cup of tea? Severus and I, we've got something to tell you."
"You're not pregnant, Harry?" Remus asked and smirked as the other man coughed and spluttered.
Once Harry had recovered his breath he wheezed, "Please, please tell me that that's not actually possible!"
"Don't worry," Severus answered, "There's only one recorded case of male pregnancy and that account was written by a wizard who also believed that his wand talked to him and that the Moon was made out of cheese. No, Remus, this is actually serious – why don't we sit down?"
Remus looked curiously at the assorted mess in the kitchen; there were still a lot of books – now stacked on the floor; the table was still pitch black from Severus' faulty transfiguration and the cauldron sitting on it was covered in sticky goo which was also distributed randomly throughout the whole room, covering the water kettle and curtains.
Severus thrust a steaming cup at him which the werewolf eyed cautiously.
"I do hope that the contents were not taken out of this cauldron, Severus," he commented mildly, "It would be a shame if you decided to poison me after all this time."
Severus snorted, sat down and stared expectantly at Harry. Harry flushed and said, "The thing is, Remus... What we wanted to tell you is that I'm – well, I'm not from here."
"I know that, Harry," Remus said, puzzled, "You're from Kent."
"Not like that, I'm afraid," Harry muttered, "Do you remember what Severus said about that bowl during the Order meeting last Monday?"
Once he'd begun, telling Remus about the whole affair became easy for Harry; Remus was a good listener. For the most part he sat still, occasionally sipping from his cup; he expressed shock as also incredulousness but his questions also showed understanding and compassion. Harry felt at ease with the other wizard, also because there didn't seem to be much difference between this Remus and his friend at home.
"So you want me to brew this potion for you?" Remus asked and Severus nodded.
"You were decent enough at Potions at school, you took the subject up to NEWT level."
"Only because Severus made me take it," Remus explained, turning to Harry, "There was no-one else who he wanted to partner with and at least my presence kept James and Sirius from murdering him behind his back."
Harry, suddenly remembering the incidence he'd witnessed in Snape's Pensieve and also Remus' passivity in it, frowned but didn't comment. He watched as Remus and Severus magically cleaned up the kitchen; he listened to their gentle banter as Remus cut up the ingredients and he noted that the two men touched each other often, swift, light touches that spoke of trust and a long friendship.
"How did you two become friends?" Harry asked suddenly, "Because in my world you can't stand each other. Were you – you know – lovers or something?"
"Goodness, no!" Remus released a bark of laughter, "I'm straight, Harry."
"Not to mention the fact that dear Nymphadora would kill me retrospectively for corrupting her boyfriend, I'm sure," Severus added, "We didn't become friends until... what was it, end of fifth year?"
"How could I forget," the other wizard agreed, pouring water into the cauldron and lighting a fire under it, "I was friends with James, Sirius and Peter Pettigrew – don't know if you remember him, Harry, he emigrated years ago – back then and we, well..."
"Played pranks on me," Severus finished the sentence for him, "I did of course fight back, but one day they took the game a bit too far, attacking me without provocation. They used Impedimenta, I think."
Harry sat up straight at once, a prickling feeling running down his spine.
"And I finally gathered what little courage I had and interfered," Remus said, oblivious to Harry's paling face, "Severus was far from grateful – quite the opposite, in fact! - but from that moment on I was an outcast in my dormitory and with time we drifted towards each other and became friends."
A puff of smoke rose up from the cauldron and the three men coughed. Remus finally added the last ingredient, half an ounce of fairy wings, to the concoction and the smoke vanished with a suddenness that was startling.
"Voilà!" Remus said, peering into the cauldron, "It's quite finished now, I think."
"Thank you. Now all we need is to find the right day, perform the spell..." Severus trailed off.
"About that," Harry said, mouth dry, "I think I have an idea."
"I don't think this is such a great idea, Harry," Severus said a bit later, eyeing the younger man nervously, "The last time you used Legilimency – well..."
Harry and Remus sat facing each other, clasping hands. They had no Pensieve that could be used to view the memory of that crucial moment, and Harry had proposed using Legilimency, avoiding Severus' glare at the mentioning of that word. Remus, ignorant of what had happened between the two of them, had blithely agreed to let Harry do it.
"But last time you weren't exactly willing," Harry replied, "And I was unfocused and angry – I wanted to cause you pain. I promise I won't hurt Remus, and you can always interfere if you think something's going wrong."
Severus acquiesced, albeit reluctantly, and stepped back.
Harry took a deep breath and stared at Remus' and his joined hands. Using Legilimency like this – to view a specific, coherent memory – was much harder than to just breeze through a person's mind. It required more concentration, for one, as well as more magic. Whereas watching a memory in a Pensieve presented you with a neutral memory – an event that had already happened that way – a retrieved memory via Legilimency was more unreliable: It was tainted by its owner's feelings and emotions, it changed with time until all that remained of the original event were its most vivid colours, sounds and the emotions connected with it.
Harry had to find the actual memory in Remus' mind though, and for that he needed to delve deeply into the other wizard's subconsciousness.
"Legilimens," Harry breathed, and the search began.
He knew what he was looking for, after all: Remus' comment about coming to Severus' help had immediately reminded him of the memory he'd watched in Snape's Pensieve so many years ago. He still remembered it vividly; it had allowed him an all too brief glimpse into his parents' lives, but at the same time it had shattered his naïve illusions about his father as well as the rest of the Marauders.
Of course, it had really been Lily who had rescued Snape back then, but... And there it was: The memory emerged like from a dense fog and Harry thought he heard Remus gasp quietly; James' voice was speaking, very softly at first, but then growing louder and louder; an image of him as a fifteen year old boy becoming clear for Harry to see at the same time:
"This'll liven you up, Padfoot," James said quietly, "Look who it is..."
Sirius' head turned. He became very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit.
"Excellent," he said softly, "Snivellus."
Harry turned to see what Sirius was looking at. Snape was standing up from where he'd been sitting under some bushes, and was stowing some papers in his bag. As he left the shadows of the bushes and set off across the grass, Sirius and James stood up.
Remus and Wormtail – Harry couldn't help a slight spike of anger at seeing him there – remained sitting: Remus was staring down at a book, though his eyes were not moving and a faint frown line had appeared between his eye brows; Wormtail was looking from Sirius to James to Snape with a look of anticipation on his face.
"All right, Snivellus?" James said loudly.
Snape reacted so fast it was as though he had been expecting an attack: dropping his bag, he plunged his hand inside his robes and his wand was halfway into the air when James shouted, "Expelliarmus!"
Snape's wand flew twelve feet into the air and fell with a little thud in the grass behind him. Sirius let out a bark of laughter.
"Impedimenta!" he said, pointing his wand at Snape, who was knocked off his feet halfway through a dive towards his own fallen wand.
Students all around had turned to watch. Some of them had got to their feet and were edging nearer. Some looked apprehensive, others entertained.
Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, wands raised, James glancing over his shoulder at some girls at the water's edge. Wormtail was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around Lupin to get a clearer view.
"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" said James and Harry remembered that this had been the day of an OWL exam, after the theoretical part.
"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Sirius viciously. "There'll be grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."
Several people watching laughed. Wormtail sniggered shrilly while Harry noticed that Lupin had abandoned the pretence of reading his book, clenching his fists instead and staring unblinkingly at Sirius.
Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was sill operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.
"You – wait," he panted, staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing, "you – wait!"
"Wait for what?" said Sirius coolly, "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"
Snape let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with is wand ten feet away nothing happened.
"Wash out your mouth," said James coldly, "Scourgify!"
Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him -
"Leave him ALONE!"
James and Sirius looked round; and their surprised faces matched Harry's expression perfectly, because it had not been his mother who had spoken out – it had been Remus Lupin, slowly getting up from the ground, his book falling forgotten into the grass.
"Leave him alone," Remus repeated, more softly. Only now Harry noticed that he was a lot smaller than James and Sirus, and a lot slimmer as well.
"What's wrong with you, Moony?" Sirius asked incredulously.
"What's he done to you?" Remus asked right back, his face now white with fury; his voice was firm but his hands were shaking, either with anger or nerves.
"And don't give me any flimsy excuses like the fact that he exists," the young werewolf now went on, "You've been taunting him since we all first boarded the train, don't you think it's quite enough now?"
"But, Remus," James spluttered.
"Not 'buts'! It's my duty as a Prefect to put an end to this. 50 points from Gryffindor for harassing a fellow student."
And walking past a shocked James and Sirius, Remus gingerly picked up Snape's wand and held it out to the other boy who was now kneeling in the grass, staring at him out of fathomless black eyes.
Harry interrupted the spell by letting go of Remus' hands; he sat back and sucked in a harsh breath.
"Right," he said shakily, "I think this is it. I've found it."
Severus held out a glass of water to both him and Remus and sat down next to them.
"So what you mean to tell me is that all those differences between our dimensions hinge upon Remus finally growing a spine in fifth year at school?"
"Oi!" Remus objected with a smile.
"Apparently so," Harry shrugged, "I mean, we can just perform the spell over the the potion and if I'm wrong the worst that can happen is what – the potion won't work and probably blow up a bit."
Lying in bed that night, Harry was more than happy with the day's work: After they'd incorporated the date of the splitting day into the spell – with Severus ridiculing Harry's and Remus' deplorable Latin language skills at every point – the rest had been easy: The potion had turned a clear colour, lighting up the whole kitchen; and it had belched out a piece of parchment with the exact time that Remus had made the decision to interfere – or not to interfere, as had happened in Harry's dimension.
He still couldn't quite believe that it was such a relatively small thing that had changed their respective dimensions: Remus standing up for Severus in front of the whole school had cost him the Marauders' friendship but gained him another; it had caused Severus not to become a Death Eater; the Potters were never killed because Peter had failed his end of year exams during sixth year without Remus' patient tutoring and had disappeared during his travels on the continent soon afterwards.
The implications of such a simple – such a small – decision were mind-boggling; and its direct consequences Harry could only really understand when thinking of Severus; the Severus Snape of this world.
Looking at him, he failed to detect any trace of the Snape he knew most of the time; it was only during their arguments that Severus' less pleasant side emerged: Him standing in front of Harry, looming over him with a pale face and spittle flying from his mouth, voice shrill and hissing insults – that was when he reminded Harry of his former teacher. Still, the intimidating effect was mostly ruined due to the fact that instead of long greasy strands Severus sported hair that was almost as messy as Harry's, and instead of billowing black robes he usually wore faded Duran Duran tee shirts.
Now Harry heard the other man coming up the stairs, and he quickly slipped out of bed. Opening his door he whispered, "Severus?" and squinted as the tip of a wand was lit by a soft spell.
"Why didn't you turn on the light?" Harry asked.
Severus shrugged.
"So..." Harry said awkwardly, "This is good news, right? You'll get your lover back soon and I can go home."
"As soon as we've obtained a time turner powerful enough to go back more than 25 years. They're illegal, you know," Severus observed drily.
"Still..." Harry trailed off, "Aren't you glad?"
Severus stepped closer to him, lowering his hand, and his face was shrouded in darkness now, except for his eyes; they seemed to glitter in the darkness as they focused unflinchingly on him. Harry had to look up at Severus' face; the older wizard was now standing inches away from him, close enough for Harry to feel his warmth and to perceive his smell.
Severus smelled – male, was the only word Harry could find to describe it. Warmth, mixed with the scent of the kitchen and tea, the shampoo and aftershave he used, and his own unique scent. He'd certainly never thought about how other men smelled before – except to note that they'd sweated too much.
The older man was watching him intently, lifting a hand and lightly, ever so carefully, caressed Harry's face.
"Of course I'm glad," he then said abruptly, breaking the contact between them.
Harry was left standing in the darkness of the hallway, the click of the closing bedroom door still echoing in his ears – and feeling very, very confused.
Parts of this chapter have been taken verbatim from 'Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix', pages 568 – 570 (UK edition).