Hey folks. So… I haven't updated this in a while. I could use the same excuses as always, "I've been busy starting Uni", "I'm reading a good series that I can't put down", "I forgot about the story!" but you know the whole she-bang so let's just leave it at that.
I spent quite a while on this chappie because I finally decided to make the move… You'll know what I mean once you read it. Let's just say if you are a Jesse/Suze fan, you are in for a huge treat!
I would really love everyone to renew their faith in this story but I understand if you've been waiting too long and don't want to read it all again or perhaps you just want to strangle me. That's fine too!
So I can say I will put the next chapter up shortly but that isn't going to happen most likely. All I can say is I will try.
Love, Angst and Eliminations.
The walk back to camp was absolutely gut-wrenching. None of us said a word.
The afternoon sun shone like a beacon. It was tricking us, hiding dusk, disguising the events that would follow. Despite the warmth of the island, I shivered.
How could I ever vote off one of them- one of my friends? I refused to think about being voted off myself. I just wouldn't. I loved this island and each of the members in my team.
This was possibly the hardest decision I would ever have to make.
Once we got to camp, we sat on the sand in a circle.
"So…" Lily began.
"So" I answered.
Then we all started to tear up. I even saw a hint of something in Jesse's eyes- which made my eyes flow over, and I NEVER cry. Boy was I saying that a lot lately… and crying a lot lately.
Soon everyone was crying. Except Jesse- maybe he was too manly. Briana and Lily were comforted by Brian- who I thought would lap up the attention- but was actually too busy sobbing himself.
Nobody wanted to talk about who they were voting off. I knew I didn't want to say anything.
Were we supposed to think of it strategically or emotionally?
Should I vote off Brian? No, we wanted boys and he's really lovely. Jesse? No way. Lily? How could I possibly vote her off? We had become great friends. Briana? I really liked her! She had a good head on her shoulders.
I sighed.
Jesse caught my eyes for a brief second. They reflected my own.
I understood.
"Do you want to…?" Jesse's fingers slipped into mine.
"Uh-huh." I nodded.
We walked away from the camp, the sun warming our backs. It was starting to set.
I led Jesse along towards the ocean. Until he pulled me up short, bringing me close to his chest, red shirt against red shirt.
I leant on him. I would remember that moment forever. The harmony of bird-song and Jesse's beating heart. The feeling of his arms wrapped around me and the view of the sun setting on the sea out of the corner of my eye- it was bliss.
Maybe we were being a bit dramatic. It didn't seem like that to me. I could easily be voted off the island tonight. How could I get to see Jesse again? He would go back to his fame and I would go back to my family. It hurt to think of life outside the island.
"Jesse-" I began, looking up at him.
"I know." He smiled down at me, cupping my cheek in his large hand.
Then he kissed me.
His lips lingered for only a few seconds on mine. He was hesitant.
I let out a small whimper and led his mouth back to mine. He was wary at first, but then passion took over.
His kiss was like nothing I had ever felt before. Ever. He was much better than Paul. How could I have even thought Paul was worth it? I felt Jesse's kiss from my mouth to the tips of my feet. My stomach felt all tingly. I wanted to pull him down to the ground and ravish him.
I could tell it had that effect on him as well. He drew his head away from mine, eyes wide, mouth ajar.
"Wow" Jesse finally said.
"Mmmm" I sighed, grabbing a handful of his shirt and pulling him back down.
His lips automatically molded into mine, soft and warm. I was in heaven. His tongue slipped out and touched my lip softly, asking for entrance. It was all I could do not to moan.
I shoved Jesse away.
"What-" His forehead creased.
"Why now! I thought you said it would never work out between us because of your last girlfriends and-"
Jesse sighed, running a hand through his hair. "You are special Susannah. You are like no girl I have ever met, and you have no idea what you put me through…" I had a feeling I did…
Jesse pulled me closer and looked at me… I mean really looked at me. Like he was reading into my soul.
"The first time I saw you- or should I say, crashed into you- you blew me away. Don't try and protest Susannah, it is true. Even though you never said a word to me you caught my attention. I found myself wanting to know your name and wondering if I would get another chance to speak with you"
I looked at him unbelievingly. He raised his eyebrows.
"I am serious Querida. Then, when I woke you up that time and you mumbled something about Paul… I automatically wanted to strangle him" Jesse clenched his jaw. "Never in my life have I felt that strongly about someone before. I wanted you all to myself."
It was so hard to swallow the things he was telling me. He had felt exactly the same as me, the whole time"
"Then there was the night we slept on the beach together. It was like magic, for me. I didn't want it to end." I recalled Jesse that day; his half-hearted sigh when the sun woke us. "You have to believe me when I say this. The day you went to kiss me… it took all my strength not to. However, I made myself step back from you because I felt it was best for the both of us. I was wrong." Jesse looked upset. "I… can't be away from you. You draw me in. I feel like I've known you forever."
What is with me today. I thought as tears, once again, spilled from my eyes.
"What is it Susannah?" He wiped a stray tear.
"Everything you just said was an exact mirror of how I felt about you. I was definitely into you, but I realized the moment I really liked you was when you sang." I choked out. "But how could you feel the same about me? I'm just… well… me. You're amazing and talented and gorgeous and have heaps of girls following your every m-"
Jesse's hand slammed over my mouth.
"mffhbip-" I tried to say until he replaced the hand with his mouth. Once again, I felt the butterflies in my stomach, a sort of ecstasy that blew my mind away.
He took his mouth from mine. "Don't you ever, EVER say that. What has my fame got to do with anything?" he seemed… angry. His forehead was creased. "I love you, isn't that enough?"
I didn't care that I was blatantly staring with my mouth open. He had said the L word. My whole system collapsed.
"You… you love me?" I managed to say in a whimpering sort of tone.
Jesse looked like he wanted to take it back. Embarrassed, he ran a hand through his hair. Then he cocked his head at me, smiled and nodded.
I stayed in that exact position for a few moments. I felt like crying and laughing at the same time.
So I did both and hugged him fiercely. Afraid that if I let go he would melt away, and with him, my euphoria.
He laughed at my emotional breakdown and kissed me until we both had to stop, for fear of it going to far.
"I guess I love you too" I grinned, and for the first time in my life I felt genuinely, exuberantly happy. Like I could die right then and there and it would be alright.
But first I had to close my eyes and pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming.
I opened my eyes…
Jesse was looking at me quite strangely. "What in the Lord's name are you doing?"
"Checking if all of this is a dream"
Jesse chuckled, hugging me tightly. "You are an impossible child"
Once he let me go, I jumped on him, wrapping my legs around his waist. He laughed his perfect laugh and kissed every inch of my face, letting a soft moan escape his lips as I tightened my legs around him.
"God Susannah, you are killing me here!" He moaned, pulling me off him as the warning bell sounded for the elimination.
I clung to him. "Can we just not go?" I groaned. Although I couldn't be truly sad, not with the sudden, pleasing change of events.
"Trust me Susannah, if I could be with you, kissing you all day, I would do it in an instance." Eeeeep! Did he just say that? I thought to myself. I am the luckiest girl in the world.
Forget about Savannah and elimination for a while… I had Jesse. I had to pinch myself. Again. Jesse De Silva! Finally.
"I'm not going!" I sat on the ground.
Jesse just chuckled, picked me up effortlessly in his strong arms and carried me off like a baby.
I struggled, "I can walk, you know!"
"I don't trust that you will get yourself there" Jesse looked fondly down at me, kissing the top of my head.
"I'll go wherever you go" I cuddled closer to him, slipping my hand under his top and tracing his abs.
"Susannah, stop that! You're distracting me!"
No sooner had he said that, when we were ambushed. By camera-men. Jesse swore in Spanish as he placed me back on the ground.
He waved the men away and grabbed my hand "We have to go".
We ran from the men and towards the elimination campfire. Upon nearing the area, we noticed Team Milan, their beaming faces and excited voices. Apparently they spent the afternoon drinking, eating and getting valuable lessons on surviving in the wild.
As I sat down on the end of a log with the rest of the red team, I felt reality set in. A pang of bitterness that clouded my elation over Jesse. I looked down the log at my team. Crazy Lily, Clueless Brian, Level-headed Briana, and Jesse… Charming, Gorgeous, Lovable, Talented, Strong Jesse. These amazing individuals were my friends, my team, my family.
I linked hands with the two people on either side of me; Jesse and Briana. I felt guilty and sad for not spending the last afternoon with my whole team.
"Five minutes until we start shooting" Matt sung out.
Then I had an idea.
I jumped off the log, only to crouch in front of it, facing my team. They were all staring at me, confused. Jesse took one look at me and knew I had a plan. He was now both confused and anxious.
"I have a thought. Why don't we all write each others names on the paper but make sure none of them double-up".
Briana whispered, "like a planned vote-off!"
"Exactly" I grinned.
Brian looked slightly intrigued, Lily; ecstatic, Brianna; amused and Jesse… well… wary.
"Are you sure they won't see right through it?" He frowned, eyebrows brought together.
I shrugged. "Worth a shot"
We sorted out who we were all going to vote for then sat back to await the cameras and our fates on the island.
Matt King gave me a look. Almost like he knew we were planning something.
"Ok teams. Time for elimination. One person here tonight will be voted off the island for good" The light from the campfire flickered across his face and made him look quite scary indeed.
He handed out the pens and paper. "You have a few minutes to make your choice. Choose wisely."
I stared blankly at my piece of paper.
I fidgeted.
I delayed.
"One minute"
I looked over at my team mates. They nodded.
I scribbled Jesse on my piece of paper. It hurt.
"Time!" Matt called out, making me jump. "Let's see what the Red team has decided. Brianna you're up."
Brianna flipped over her paper to reveal the name, Lily.
Brian flipped over his paper to reveal the name, Susannah.
Lily flipped over her paper to reveal the name, Brian.
Jesse flipped over his paper to reveal the name, Brianna.
Then my paper; Jesse.
A collective murmur resided in Milan, not to mention among the TV crew.
Funnily enough, Matt seemed the least surprised "Ah, it looks as if we have a tie." He stated calmly. "Luckily we have prepared for such a situation. As the episode airs a few hours after we film it, we have had quite a reaction from the public."
"Where is he going with this?" I whispered to Jesse.
The host continued, "We have even started polls. Whom do you think will make the cutest couple, what will the next challenge be… so on and so forth, until we come down to; Who is your favourite competitor?" A smile formed on his face. "The person on the bottom of that poll will be voted off tonight".
I froze. Looking across to the others I saw the same shock.
"Sorry guys guess the plan didn't work" I apologized.
Brianna squeezed my knee, "it's much better this way Suze. At least we don't have to vote each other off. I would never have been able to pick".
"Brianna's right" Brian stated matter-of-factly. "Let's all just hope the public had the same hard decision."
I quickly glanced up at Jesse. He smiled reassuringly at me. "It will probably come down to who made the best TV."
I was about to retaliate when I realized something… I had made for good TV. What with my embarrassing moments and hook-ups I had nothing to worry about… did I?
With that realization came another; Jesse sure wasn't getting voted off. Girls loved him and, as we all know, they are the target audience.
Once again, another idea came with that thought. Jesse's fans will want me off the Island seeing as how lovey I've been around him! I wouldn't even be surprised if I was CeeCee's least favourite on the Island seeing as I've taken her man.
There was no more time to fret. Matt was handed an envelope holding the least favourite Team Khana member as voted by the public. Here goes…
"And the person going home tonight is…."
Matt peeled open the parchment, "Brianna"
The Red Team all went over to hug the actress as she tried to keep her head high.
"Sorry love, looks like you're leaving. That's it folks! Tune in next time for another thrilling installment of Island X, and remember everyone, keep voting on our polls because your decision could make a difference!" Matt winked at the camera. Cue parting shot of Brianna walking away.
"Cut. Great work everyone, loved the hi-jacked voting thing too. Very clever" Matt chuckled, shaking his head as he went over to talk to a camera man. It almost seemed as if he thought we were children, playing a cute little trick. I had had a feeling he knew what we were up to all along.
The team ran up to Brianna just as she was about to board her helicopter. We all launched ourselves at her, except Jesse.
Laughing she pulled us off, "I'm not dying! Sheesh! I'll still keep in touch".
She gathered two pieces of paper from the helicopter and wrote her number down on each.
Giving one to me she said, "Call me some time when this is over, k? I'd love to hear from you". I smiled both inside and out. The girls at school would just die if they knew I was tight with the actress.
The other one she handed to Brian. "Call me some time to okay? Although, I wouldn't be too hasty, I've seen the way that girl looks at you." She gestured towards Becky walking back to her camp with the Blue Team. Brian looked confused. Trust boys not to have a clue when a girl is into them…
Brianna planted a single kiss on Brian's forehead and hugged me.
"You guys know where to find me" she spoke to Lily and Jesse this time. They both nodded. Secret celebrity stuff I guess.
Brianna waved one last goodbye as the helicopter swallowed her up.
We talked amongst ourselves as we lurched back to camp. The chatter broke off soon enough once we glimpsed our make-shift beds. They looked like the most comfortable things in the world to our tired eyes. It took all my energy not to collapse right there and then.
I looked at my team. Brian looked quite upset… after all, he had that thing for Bri.
"Hey, pal cheer up!" I hugged him. "You have her number, and plus, you now know Becky likes you!" Brian frowned.
"See that's what I'm confused about. She has been shooting daggers at me since we started the show. It doesn't make sense"
Guys are hopeless.
"On the contrary my friend, she was only giving you the evils because you were spending so much time with Bri. I'm sure she will perk up a bit now that your crush has left."
Brian smiled. "Thanks Suze. Guess I have a lot to think about. Have a good sleep."
Sleep sure sounds good right about now.
I searched in the dim light for Jesse. Before I could find him, strong arms found their way around my waist from behind.
"There you are" I turned my head to face him, only… it wasn't Jesse.
"Paul!" I shout-whispered so as not to wake Lily and Brian who had already fallen asleep. Spinning around, I pushed him away.
"I was thinking we could put all the shit behind us and move on. I mean, I'm still into you". He spoke softly, moving forward to embrace me again.
"Don't Paul. I'm not into you anymore. In fact, I'm not even sure I want to be friends. You blew it big time. I'm with Jesse now". I gave him my best evils.
Paul pulled out a great side smile. "C'mon Suze, you can't be serious. De Silva has his own glamorous life in which you don't fit. Face it, you're just his next play thing. Plus you used to feel something for me… I could tell by the way you kissed me." He winked slyly.
Someone came up behind me. "Don't listen to his bull shit Susannah." Jesse growled with fists clenched.
"Ha! Speak of the devil." Paul chuckled lightly. "All big and manly are we? Coming in to defeat the bad guy and sweep the damsel off her feet?"
Jesse stepped forward, intimidating in both his height and build.
"No need, no need" Paul stepped back, waving his hands in a complacent gesture. "I surrender… for now" he winked at me. I tried to swallow back the bile in my throat. "I was just informing Suze here of her place in the world." He looked at me, "don't fool yourself Suze. You'll only end up hurting yourself."
Paul turned his back on us and strolled away. Cocky as ever.
"I really dislike that guy" Jesse spat. Turning toward me he cupped my face in his hand. "Did he hurt you? What did he say to you?"
I answered 'no' to the first and didn't reply to the second question. If Jesse didn't catch what Paul said to me about our relationship I certainly wasn't going to indulge him.
"Look it was nothing, Paul just being Paul." I averted my eyes from his worried ones. I couldn't believe that jerk had ruined the only thing amazing about today; Jesse. I could choose to ignore the things he said but the seed of doubt had been planted. Of course Jesse loved me and vice versa, but we would always have separate lives, and at the end of the day that's reality.
"I'm so shattered. Let's just go to bed."
Jesse sighed. "You are not telling me something Susannah."
"It's nothing Jesse, honest." Paul may have been right but that wouldn't stop me from making the most of my time with Jesse while we were on the Island.
I pulled on his arms and led him towards the sleeping area. I watched as Jesse pulled his flax mattress as close as he could to mine. When he saw me watching him he smiled widely.
"It is going to be a cold night, I heard."
I slid into my woven sheets, happy to put the day to rest. The only joyful thing I would be taking with me into the light of tomorrow was Jesse. My thoughts on Brianna leaving, Paul's message and Savannah I would leave behind. They vanished as soon as I felt Jesse's arms around my waist from behind- just like that night on the beach.
I snuggled closer to him, breathed in his familiar scent and closed my eyes.
"Good night Querida." Jesse whispered in my ear.
I sure hoped it would be.
Thanks for reading!
One of the reasons I updated this was when I read over my reviews. The fact that you guys love it so much makes me want to work harder and get chapters up faster.
So as long as one person reviews, new material will be going up!
Love in abundance
Reba
xx