Disclaimer: I own nothing. These characters and this love story belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

English is my second language! Have that in mind...

"They will be here soon." Alice comforted me. We sat beside each other on the floor. My senses didn't acknowledge anything further than her voice and breaths.

I held myself together by listening to Bella's strong and hasty heartbeats.

"Carlisle called me back—they're on their way home," Alice added and jumped to her feet. "I'll be right back."

I felt less alone with her support.

But I was still unable to relax. I panicked.

Like Bella's life was hanging by a fine thread.

James and Victoria was a battle. The Volturi was a game. Spanish influenza was a disease. All four had been a risk—all four experiences could individually have ended my life. But I never felt defeated. This was my first near-death experience.

And it was all about her.

For a quantity of time, God knows how long—she had been lying dead in front of me. This could have been fifteen minutes. It could have been three hours.

My perception was unreliable.

Alice came back with two buckets, a few bottles and a pile of towels. "I'll help you clean her up." She covered her body with a clean towel and began washing her face. She handed me a towel, asking me to help her.

I got on my feet and walked to the other side of Bella's face. She was drained. I held on to the heartbeat to make sure she was alive. Her eyes were half open. I saw a hint of the red irises. Alice watched me cautiously.

"Lift her head," she said. "I'll wash her hair."

I steadied Bella's limp head and put my arm underneath her thighs to pull her further up. Alice rinsed the hair several times by lowering her hair into the bucket of water. She changed the scarlet water and cleaned the hair several times. She was careful not to tug her hair or strain her neck. She wiped the table clean and covered it with towels before I put Bella back into her previous position.

It was peaceful.

Alice did well, trying to calm me down.

I guess she noticed my anxiety decrease. She smiled at me occasionally.

The blood on Bella's stomach had coagulated and dried. We washed it off and I noticed that her uterus had healed and shrunk back to normal.

She was healing. Soon the incision would be healed as well.

I washed Bella's arms. I took my heirloom off and cleaned it before replacing it on her ring finger. It fit, wasn't loose anymore. Had Bella gained her weight back? She expressed no signs of pain, although she was burning.

I didn't know if to be worried or relieved by that fact.

Either way I felt clumsy doing this with Alice. The deed was too surreal.

But it was right. Worthy.

We were taking care of a dead person. These were Bella's last heartbeats.

Alice finished cleaning her up. I put the cord and placenta in a plastic bag in the refrigerator. Knowing Carlisle would embrace it with enthusiasm. The strongest link in life. It was the adapter, connecting our imparity.

I walked back to her weary face, feeling restless. I sat beside her and put my hands on her cheeks. I wanted her to wake up and smile… But she was still sleeping.

What would she be like, waking up?

Would she still be my Bella?

Physically I could take her in any package. But in person I wanted the Bella I fell in love with. If her newborn identity would turn her back on me… I would fight her instincts. If she would ever be impulsive enough to forget everything...

Forget me.

Her skin felt was warm, but burning on my fingers anymore. I lightly touched her eyelids to shut them, not wanting to see the red circles on her, not yet. I buried my face to her neck. Her scent was the same. Attractive, but not tempting anymore. For the first time I took pleasure in her scent. Without angst. No grasp in my throat.

I could truly enjoy her.

If she woke up again… That would be everything.

"Do you see anything?" I asked Alice.

"I do, her face is… more flawless."

I gloated at her. Ridiculous.

"Do you see anything else?"

"Not much Edward, sorry." Alice put the supplies by the door to sit down next to me. "She is undecided—lying here. She doesn't know what to expect yet, waking up as a vampire. Her instincts will tell us. I think we'll know as soon as she opens her eyes."

I sighed and kissed Bella's forehead.

Wishing.

Could time pass by slower than this?

"I think she will surprise us!" Alice tweeted. "If I know her correctly she will turn out as a bolt from the blue!"

Yes. She would always be contrary. In either living form she would always be contrary. And I was hoping for a miracle outcome. Maybe because I had a difficult time imagining her on a warpath for blood. Her obstinacy was her strongest weapon, our greatest chance for the great outcome. So, maybe she could turn out different.

"Yes, she will…" I breathed. "In some way she always does."

Alice's presence made the air radiant. The stress, depression and emergency that had congealed the room drifted away. It might just have been me calming down. But I knew Alice was a big part of the change. I didn't hear Jasper around yet but I noticed that my senses intensified. I slowly started so seize activities outside these walls.

"Thank you, Alice." I grabbed her hands in mine. She smiled and jammed her shoulder to my chest.

I heard the others downstairs. All sounds coming back to me were almost too much to bear. During the time I had spent in this room. I was comfortable to focus only on one thing…

I heard Jacob, Rosalie and Jasper downstairs.

And Renesmee.

I ached.

I longed for her in a strange way. It felt complex, experiencing obligation towards someone else than Bella. Renesmee were the only reason why I would leave this room. I knew my strongest priority at this time was Bella's health. In second place came my inquisitiveness. Who was my daughter? The new and strong affection made me aware of my curiosity, being even stronger about her than about Bella as a new born.

Is that how a father felt?

I longed to know her.

I knew she wasn't a monster. That smile…

Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. I heard Emmett repeat in his thoughts as he came closer to the house. He, Carlisle and Esme were approaching, darting through the woods towards the house. Their thoughts were dismayed.

I shrugged. "They're back."

Carlisle's mind was preserved by guilt.

We were barely on our feet before we heard their supple footsteps on the wooden floors downstairs.

Carlisle entered the room first, rushing to Bella's side. He was checking her pulse, scanning her pupils, observing reflexes and pain-stimulating. Good…. Good… all good… Thank Lord! "How long?" The query was eager. As if it was crucial.

I was dull.

He was perplexed, looking at my direction. I couldn't meet his gaze.

"About three hours since her heart started beating… again" Alice whispered.

Carlisle was still trying to connect with me. Edward… Look at me.

Esme walked over to me and kissed my cheek, consoling me. She held my arm and stayed by my side. Carlisle came over but hesitated before he patted my shoulder. I embraced him instead. Letting the frustration and relief run free.

I didn't feel like it was his fault, but I had suspected I might feel that way.

He had expected that too. Judging by his thoughts. They weren't intended for me as usual, they were spontaneous and personal. Esme's hand was on my back. Her mind was vibrant by the love that had occupied our home for the last couple of weeks.

Carlisle clenched on to me too. I'm sorry. I know I promised I would do this for you… We let go of each other and I met his gaze to his relief.

"I am truly intimidated," he said. "I can't believe you made this through by yourself… Practically I knew you'd make it, but emotionally your self-control is remarkable to me. Tell me. What happened?"

There was no fair way to sum this up. I glanced at Alice who walked up to my side.

"The placenta detached when Bella got up from the couch. She became unconscious in seconds and had a seizure," Alice looked sincerely at Carlisle's disastrous face. I looked down, not wanting to reveal my expressions to the memories. Alice continued to tell the course of events: "Edward, Rosalie and Jacob brought her here and she was vomiting blood. Edward was trying to clear her airways and Rosalie was in a hurry to get Renesmee out, not tolerant to let the Morphine take effect… But she made the first cut despite Edward's orders, and lost it at the smell of her blood. Jacob had to stop her and I took her out of there. Renesmee was suffocating, fighting for a way out, causing Bella's spine to crack. It paralyzed her, so she wouldn't feel anything after that. Edward got Renesmee out and handed her first to Bella, who were awake for a short amount of time. Then to Rosalie who brought her downstairs. Then Bella's heart stopped beating. Jacob was doing CPR and Edward injected his poison with a needle straight into her heart and the typical way… Jacob… Gave up and left. Edward continued by himself. I helped him and finally I saw her come back to us…"

Carlisle and Esme looked at me with wide open eyes.

Many thoughts about medicine, self-control and the new, unnatural life spun in Carlisle's head. It was impossible to respond to anything.

"I saved the placenta for you," I managed to mumble.

Thank you. He smiled without being relieved. He patted my shoulder again.

"Well, I don't know what to say really. This sure turned out more seriously than I had imagined. But you did well, all of you. She is changing as we speak."

We all looked at Bella. Her heart was pounding fast and hard in her chest.

Please, let her be free from pain…

I felt Esme's hand on my cheek. Edward… have you met her? Have you been with your daughter?

I looked towards the door. "Before… I saw her; in her mind when she was inside Bella, and she thought of our voices… " I lost track and swallowed. "I held her for just a minute. She wasn't screaming. She smiled at me." I looked at Bella again.

Esme sighed and looked at Carlisle.

"Come with us Edward," she said. "I know you want to be with Bella. But she will be safe with Alice for a while. Let us go down stairs. Introduce us. I can't wait to meet her."

I couldn't fight that request. There was no reason not to go down there and hold her in my arms again.

Been on a break for some time but I'm determined to finish this story!

Thank you for reading and enjoying!