PLEASE READ FIRST!
Alright guys. First and most important thing, THIS IS NOT MY STORY. Its a MIRROR from the Homestuck kink meme and was written by ribsgrowback there.
ribsgrowback has given permission for people to mirror their fanfiction, so I am going to do it here. Original can be found here: ht tp: / homesmut .livejournal .com / 9406 . ht ml? thread = 14554302 just remove the spaces.
This is the original promt from the meme:
I've seen things about Karkat having self-harm issues. And it made me think that maybe someone could write an AU where the trolls are in a psychiatric treatment center? And I guess the kids could be the therapists/psychiatrists, especially Rose, since she's into psychoanalysis. No smut necessary, but I like Sollux/Feferi, Gamzee/Tavros, and most other pairings if you want to add it.
I will be updating the chapters as close as possible to when the author post new stuff on the kink meme. Also, rating and genre may (and are quite likely) to change, MAY BE TRIGGER WARNINGS LATER. I WILL MARK THESE CHAPTERS. I say MAY because I have no idea what the original author is planning, seeing as I am just mirroring for them.
This is a really great story, so lets all enjoy it!
TRIGGER WARNING FOR SUICIDAL CONNTENT THIS CHAPTER.
==BE THE SPOOKY GIRL
You are the spooky girl. When wouldn't you have been the spooky girl? That's a stupid command. But you're 0k with it; you're 0k with a lot of things. Right now, you're sitting in the dayroom and not doing much of anything.
The dayroom is crowded, even when nobody is in it-it's small, with couple of couches, a television that seems to be permanently tuned to MTV, a ping-pong table, and a kitchenette all wedged into one space. There's also an ancient, slow computer that wheezes to life only when it wants to and is supposed to only be used for school work but usually winds up being used for YouTube and email until it gets overwhelmed and crashes. Your entire group has somehow wedged themselves inside and are causing their usual chaos.
A friendly nurse named Jade decided a few minutes ago that you couldn't just sit around in your room doing nothing, and ushered you into the dayroom with some arts and crafts supplies and told you to make something cool and have fun! So now you're just sitting on the couch with a box of beads and string and crayons and stuff, still doing nothing. How productive.
Eventually, Feferi and Sollux come over. You like them, you guess. They've been friendly to you, at least, and Sollux is a good person to talk to if you want advice but don't want to deal with any doctors. He gets almost as depressed as you, sometimes, which sucks but at least makes you feel less lonely. And even when he's not that depressed, he'll drop everything and let you talk or not talk as much as you need to, just offering his companionship so you don't have to feel so alone all the time. You appreciate it. In only a few days, you've already started to consider him your closest friend. He and Feferi also don't make you embarrassed about being on suicide watch and not being able to be anywhere on your own without being accompanied by a staff member.
You're actually starting to regret the whole trying-to-kill-yourself thing, now that you're starting to make friends. You've been assuring the shrinks that you were just in a bad place-you were lonely, had just gotten out of a terrible foster home, and had stopped taking your antidepressants, and things just went from there until you got your hands on enough sleeping pills to stop your heart-but they're still worried that you'll try again. So is your new foster family. You feel bad about trying to check out before even getting to know them-they're an older couple, in their sixties, and they're paying for your treatment here and everything. They even brought you flowers back at the hospital, and visited you every day-they visit you here, too, every chance they get. It almost makes you regret what you tried to do.
Anyway, Feferi is bouncing all over you, as usual. You don't really mind. The attention is actually kind of nice. Sometimes it's a little bit much, but she doesn't have an unkind bone in her body and doesn't mean to overwhelm you. She's -EXCITED about the craft kit-she's excited about everything-and can't believe that you're not as enthused as she is. "Ohmycod Aradia, where'd you get that! We can make so much cool stuff wit)( t)(is!"
"Jade gave it t0 me. Fr0m the Art Therapy r00m. She said it's 0k f0r us t0 use it in here."
"That's so GR-EAT!"
"It's 0k."
"They're ju2t bead2, FF."
"Come on, you know it's totally great!"
"It's t0tally great."
"T)(at's t)(e spirit!"
Feferi commandeers the beads in the box right away. She's already taken off her weird leather headband-string-thing, and is stringing bright plastic beads onto it with no regard for color or pattern. Sollux smirks at you. The corners of your mouth twitch up in return. He starts making some kind of complicated bracelet while Feferi tries to braid beads into his hair-it's really too short for that, and the colors she's using are clashing with the blonde, honestly-when Terezi comes over and asks what you're doing.
"That nur2e, Jade, gave AA a beadiing kiit and now FF ii2 tryiing to cover every 2quare iinch of u2 iin bead2."
"SOUNDS L1K3 4 BL4ST." She sounds a little disappointed. You remember what she said about how much she was into art, and how she can't do it anymore, so you guess you understand why. It must suck to plan your life around colors and then never be able to see them again. Sollux notices, too, and starts trying to distract her.
"2he took my head ho2tage help me TZ you're my only hope."
"O)( )(ush your carping, Sollux, I know you're enjoying this!"
"Oh gog 2he'2 acce22orii2ing me make her 2top help oh gog the paiin..!"
Eventually, she starts laughing and sits down and starts making things with the rest of you. You tell her the color of each bead she picks up, and eventually she starts sticking them in her mouth. You stare at her, confused, and she just says, "1 C4N F33L TH31R SH4P3 B3TT3R TH1S W4Y," through a plasticky mouthful. Karkat wanders over in the middle of this exchange and starts teasing her, telling her next thing she'll be doing is licking peoples' faces. She then starts chasing him around the room, trying to put him in a headlock and lick him, but mostly trips over furniture instead.
The dayroom is loud and crowded and busy, and you're starting to get overwhelmed by all the people. This keeps happening to you-you start being able to function and almost have a social life, and then you get all down again. You pull your hair over your face and pretend to be absorbed in what you're doing, but really you're just trying to figure out how to get away from everyone without being rude. Sollux eventually notices and gives you his "need two talk?" look, and you shake your head no. You know he'd abscond with you and let you either vent or just sit silently-you've been known to do either-but he's having too much fun with Feferi for you to pull him away. So you just sit and pretend to watch the TV. Eventually you claim you're going to the bathroom, but plan on just sitting in the hallway instead. Unless Jade is your hallway-escort, you'll probably be able to do it in peace.
==TAVROS: ENTER THE DAYROOM
You're currently trying to enter the dayroom. You've been trying for about twenty minutes already. But every time you reach for the door knob, you seize up and start freaking out and worrying about people looking at you or talking to you or something. Gamzee is probably in there, and he'd be nice to you and make you feel calm, but you'd still have to deal with everyone else. And Vriska would probably follow you around and torment you like she does every time you're in the same room together.
You have to be brave, though, you decide. You can't be terrified forever. Plus, Gazmee found your Fiduspawn cards last night and asked you to teach him to play, and you don't want to disappoint him. You hold onto that thought, muster up all your courage, and reach for the door-when it opens. You jump back with a whimper, and Aradia looks at you in confusion.
"S0rry. I didn't mean t0 surprise y0u," she says. She holds the door open for you, but you shake your head. You need a minute to calm down after that. She shrugs, and sits down on the floor, her head resting on the wall. "I just needed t0 get away fr0m every0ne f0r a little while," she explains. "S0metimes it's just t00 much t0 handle." You jump, and move to go-she probably just wants you to go away, she probably wants to be alone.
"Tavr0s. C0me back. It's fine; I d0n't mind if y0u're here. Y0u can sit, if y0u want."
You freeze, and weigh your options. You're tempted to just abscond the fuck out of here, but Aradia doesn't scare you too much. She seems nice, actually, and Doc Stridenasty-you're surethat that's not his real name but he insists that it is-keeps telling you that you need to challenge yourself and try to interact with people, even if it's just a little bit at a time. Finally, you nod, and sit down next to her-not too close, not too close, oh god don't bump into her-and let out a shaky breath that you didn't realize you were holding. She seems content with silence, and you're thankful for that at least. You keep shooting her nervous looks. When she notices, she gives you a sad little smile. You quickly avert your eyes and fiddle with your binder of cards.
"Are th0se Fiduspawn cards?" she asks. She seems genuinely interested. You nod.
"I have a t0n of th0se. I didn't bring them with me, th0ugh. I didn't think any0ne here w0uld play. Is it 0k if I l00k?"
More than anything, you suddenly want to be able to talk. You want to tell her "yEAH," like any normal person. Maybe make small talk, compare your rare cards and best games. But you don't make talk, small or otherwise. So you just nod again, and scoot closer so she can examine the cards in their plastic sheaths.
"W0w, a h0l0graphic h0rsar0ni, that's really rare!" she exclaims. She actually sounds enthusiastic-you've never heard her like this before. "D0 y0u have a l0t of rare cards?"
You want to tell her that these aren't your only Fiduspawn cards, that you have even more binders full of them at home and that you have online games with your internet friends and have swapped with them through email and FedEx, but you don't say anything. At one point, you try to, and your throat closes up in a weird sort of panicky feeling. She gives you a funny look when that happens, part confusion and part pity. It makes you uncomfortable, so you slide one of your best cards out of the plastic and show it to her with a tiny smile. She smiles back, and exclaims over it and tries to ask just yes-or-no nod-or-shake questions and the two of you continue your sort-of conversation for a while.
Eventually, though, she stops talking and looks at you. You look away and chew on your lip ring.
"Tavr0s."
You look back at her.
"It's 0k if y0u d0n't want t0 talk. 0r if y0u can't. I'm n0t g0ing t0 try t0 f0rce y0u, y0u kn0w," she half-whispers, like it's a secret she's only sharing with you. "I kn0w h0w hard it can be t0 talk t0 pe0ple." She gives you an awkward half-smile, and finally looks away.
You look away, too, and stare at the cards in your lap. Eventually, she starts talking about Fiduspawn again, and role-playing games, and it's like she never said anything special to you at all. But you can't stop thinking about it. So when her aide walks over from his chair down the hall and tells her that she has an appointment with Dr. Lalonde, you can't just watch her get up and walk away.
",,,wAIT," you mumble. Your voice cracks. You wonder if it's withering away from disuse. She hears you, though, and turns. You stare at the floor.
"aRADIA,,," you say, almost inaudibly, still never meeting her eyes, ",,tHANKS."
You can't see it, but she's smiling. A real smile, wide and genuine.
"Anytime, Tavr0s. We'll have t0 play Fiduspawn t0gether s0meday, when we get 0ut 0f here. 0k?"
You can feel yourself smiling, too. So hard that it would hurt if it didn't feel so nice.
",,,,,,,oKAY,"