Maura watched as Jane got up and walked away. She knew as soon as the words fell from her mouth that she didn't mean them the way Jane was taking them. She was ecstatic that Jane was alive, although the way she was feeling towards Jane left Maura feeling guilty and mildly ashamed. True she was angry at Jane for leaving but more then anything she was afraid. Afraid that if she let the detective back in, something could really happen to her and Maura would be faced with the pain of loss yet again. Maura thought to follow after Jane but knew they both needed to calm down. Maura collected their trash and made the slow walk back to the precinct. Jane's words rolled around her head as she walked. She knew Jane was one to sacrifice everything for those she loved and in her anger Maura had realized she had turned a blind eye to the Jane she'd known for so many years. Maura knew Jane had the best of intensions even if her execution was lacking. Maura sighed as she entered the building and entered the elevator. She knew she should search out Jane and apologize, but she also knew this was not the place to display their issues.

Maura finished early that evening and headed home. As she walked in the door to find their home still dark, Maura realized that Laryssa still wasn't home. It was then that Maura remembered their spat this morning. Laryssa had been abnormally on edge with work and her recent paper being published. Maura scolded herself for not having resolved their fight earlier in the day due to being caught up with Jane.

She poured herself a generous amount of wine and sat down in her favorite old leather chair to look out the window. Hours passed in darkness as Maura allowed her mind to wander from Jane and her apology to Laryssa. Maura scolded herself for feeling regret over her marriage. She rationalized that Jane was thought to be dead and she had done the natural thing and moved on. Maura pondered how her life had felt so full and secure only a matter of weeks ago. How Jane had somehow managed to wiggle her way back into her life, despite her constant fight to keep the raven haired detective as far as possible from her little sphere. Maura knew Jane didn't feel the same way she did. Maura also knew causing strife in her marriage now, over feelings that would never be returned, was a colossal mistake.

Maura contemplated how to continue a friendship without letting her feelings show to either Jane or Laryssa. Maura had never been able to lie and if Laryssa caught on, she wouldn't be able to lie about her feelings for the detective. She had lost herself in another thought when she heard the front door open.

"Maura? What are you doing sitting in the dark?"

"Just thinking. You're home late. Everything okay at the office?"

"Yeah. Just meeting with the other departments and then Jess wanted to grab a drink and talk about her FBI agent love interest. I was going to call you but my phone died. Sorry."

Laryssa hung up her jacket and put down her brief case as she spoke. She unbuttoned the top of her shirt and grabbed a glass to pour herself a glass of wine. She moved to join Maura in the near by chair.

"How was your day?"

"Uneventful." Maura lied. "Had a new case and that kept me busy most of the day."

"Hey… So about this morning. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten angry so quickly. I know I over reacted. This case, the lack of sleep, I think it finally caught up to me."

Maura nodded her understanding but didn't say anything. She had been confused by the events of that morning but they had quickly moved from her mind once Jane had appeared at work.

"Maura?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you alright?"

"Oh yes, I seem to have had too much because I keep drifting off into scattered thought. Maybe I should have eaten before having that second glass. Have you eaten? Should I fix us something?"

"I ate with Jess. Why don't you grab something while I shower and then we can get to bed?"

"Alright."

Laryssa leaned over and kissed Maura on the forehead. "I missed you today. I hate when things are left off between us."

Maura felt guilty again. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts of Jane she was ignoring Laryssa and the fact that they hadn't spoken all day due to an argument. She felt passive aggressive about the situation which she realized was probably more transparent then she hoped. She reached up and grabbed Laryssa's collar to bring her back down for a real kiss.

"I forgive you for this morning." Maura smiled and kissed her again trying to ignore all outside thoughts. She had loved this woman whole heartedly only a few weeks ago. Just because Jane was back, it changed nothing. She needed to stop her wandering mind and focus on what was right in front of her.

"I'm suddenly not as hungry. Care for some company?"

"Always!"

Jane slowly sank to her knees from exhaustion. She ripped the boxing gloves off and threw them across the room, yelling into the empty gym.

Jane jumped when someone entered in the darkened corner. "You know, they didn't do it. You really shouldn't take it out on them."

"How did you find me?"

"I had your phone highjacked before we left Washington."

"I guess I shouldn't be completely surprised." Jane grimaced as she tried to stand.

Rebecca walked up to Jane and offered a hand. Jane reluctantly took it, stood and teetered slightly.

"Hey… I got ya. Just lean into me."

Jane complied too tired to fight anymore. She sighed as she leaned into the Marshal.

"Wanna tell me what's going on?"

"Nope."

"Jane…"

"Maura and I fought."

"I see. What about?"

"How I left her and everyone else. Oh by the way, I'm a selfish asshole, in case you didn't know."

"Jane… You are anything but. Tell me what happened."

"I… Don't know if I can."

"Why? Cause you might cry? God forbid you show some emotion woman!" Rebecca half joked as they came to the bleachers on the side of the gym.

"Becks… She said it would have been better if I'd actually died."

Becca let out a low whistle and shook her head.

"OUCH!"

"I know."

"Jane… Can I ask you something personal?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"I'll take that as a yes. When you first came to Washington and you got re-injured you combined those pain killers and alcohol, remember?"

"Yes… But I don't follow."

"I'm getting there. That night you went on and on about Maura marrying Jack. I got the feeling then, as I do every time you talk about her, that Maura meant more to you then you say or let on."

Jane narrowed her eyes at the marshal. Sure they'd talked about Jane's sexuality, but they'd never talked about how Maura fit into it all.

"I... She's… We…"

"Come on… Use your words…" Becca joked, hoping to lighten the mood.

"Shut up." Jane pushed the marshal and cracked the faintest of smiles.

"In all honesty,…yes. I've never told anyone, let alone said it out loud. I'm in love with her. I have been for years."

"Okay, so why didn't you ever tell her how you felt?"

"It doesn't matter now." Jane explained stubbornly.

"Jane! You gave up everything for her. You didn't agree to enter the program until I mentioned keeping Maura safe. I know I played on your emotions, but I knew then that she meant more to you. You've given up everything. Your freedom, your identity, your job, family, friends, your home, everything to keep her safe. She may be hurt that you lied, but for her to say that to you, it's not okay. It's demeaning all you've done for her and your family."

Jane let her words soak in. She knew the marshal was right. She knew that even if Maura meant what she said, she was mistaken. She hadn't made her decision selfishly. She'd made it because she loved Maura and her family. She knew it would be hard on them, but she never stopped to look at how it had affected her. She'd always been the one to carry the burden, to be strong. She might have been self involved a little about Maura's fiancé but it was only because she'd been so focused on having waited too long to tell Maura how she felt.

Jane turned to Becca and smiled. "You know, if this whole marshal thing doesn't work out, you should try being a motivational speaker."

"Har har. Very funny." Rebecca said as she stood and started to walk away. "Let's grab some food and head back home. I have a lot of work to do and you need a shower. You stink."

Jane stuck her tongue out at the marshal and gingerly got up and followed her to the locker room to collect her things. "You know… I wasn't joking about the motivational speaker thing…"

Becca smiled and stuck her tongue out at the detective as they headed out the door.

Two days later Jane was nose deep in a file in the elevator when the doors opened and a familiar scent wafted toward her. She peered over the top of her file and realized she was alone in the elevator with none other than Maura. Jane felt herself instantly jump into defense mode. She was still wounded by Maura's comment and she was hell bent on making her understand. However, she worried this wasn't quite the place to do so, but she wouldn't be asking the ME to lunch again anytime soon. So the elevator would have to do. She looked at Maura who looked as if she was about to speak. Jane stepped forward and pulled the emergency stop on the elevator. Maura looked at Jane as if she'd gone mad. She opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by Jane as she raised her hand to silence her.

"You had your turn Maura. Now it's mine." Jane could feel the hurt and anger boiling already right below the surface.

"I left everything to keep you safe. I changed my name, lost my job, my family, my best friend and an apartment I loved just to keep you all safe. Everyone else seems to understand except for you. I wanted to pick the phone up and call you every day. I did nothing but wonder how you all were doing. Don't you think I wanted to be here?! Don't you think I wanted to be the one to protect you and not leave it to others? You have no idea what I went through. You barely mourned me before you what? Cheated on Jack and moved on with that Doctor. And for god's sake Maur, you married her! I've seen you deliberate over shoes for longer then it took you to move on from Jack. You wished I'd died really? REALLY?! After everything, that's what you want? Not a problem. I'll transfer the first chance I get. We don't ever need to see one another again if it will help ease your conscience, because let's be honest, that's what this is about."

Maura stood there staring at Jane. She knew to expect some sort of talk with Jane about what had been said but she hadn't expected this. Maura continued to stand in stunned silence as Jane looked for any sign of a fight to her last statement. She didn't want to transfer but she knew from previous experience that it would be hard to avoid one another when they roamed the same halls and worked the same cases. Jane turned before Maura could see the hurt in her eyes. She slammed her hand against the emergency stop and the elevator resumed its activity. Maura's brain was running in over drive. She had to say something, something to let Jane know she didn't want her to leave. To let her know why she was so upset. She cleared her throat and stepped forward. Jane noticed the movement and turned to face Maura.

"Jane… I…" Maura paused to take a deep breath. She knew she needed to say it or she never would. Jane needed to understand, especially if she was leaving, again.

"Jane I was,... am in love with you. I was so hurt and upset because I never told you. Because I knew you'd never return the feelings I had, so I ran from them. Losing you broke my heart. Finding Laryssa fixed parts of it. You coming back broke everything I'd built up. I said I'd wished you were dead because you coming back has complicated my feelings for you and for Laryssa."

The elevator dinged signaling it had reached its destination. The doors silently opened when Laryssa looked up and saw Maura and Jane standing in the middle of the elevator in what looked like a heated discussion.

"Maura?"

Jane cleared her throat and excused herself. She didn't look back, and she didn't stop walking. She made for her desk and grabbed her coat. She grabbed her cell phone and walked to the door leading to the stairs. She wasn't going to risk taking the elevator again anytime soon. She hit her favorites and called Becks.

"Jane?"

"We need to talk."

"I'm heading that way soon for the meeting."

"They meeting?! Oh my god, I completely forgot. I'll meet you in the lobby."

"Everything okay?"

"I don't know…"

"I'll hurry."

"Oh my god Jane!" Rebecca let her mind run with the new information from Janes story of her run in with Maura. "That's great news! Isn't it?" Rebecca paused in her celebration for her friend when she saw Jane's face. "It's not is it?"

"Becks, she's married. This changes nothing for me."

"You didn't tell her did you?"

"No and I probably never will."

Rebecca shook her head and sighed. These women were impossible. She could see Jane's point of view but she could also see that their relationship went deeper than the one Maura currently shared with Laryssa. She was a hopeless romantic at her core and wanted nothing more than for Jane to be happy but she knew Jane lived by a code. A code she would never break.

"You really aren't going to tell her are you?"

"No."

"Jane, you should give her the chance to choose."

"She said herself that she was happy until I came back. I won't ruin another thing in her life."

"Jane, I think you're making a mistake by not telling her. Again!"

"Becks, I have lived years with being just her friend while she dated. It's no different now."

"Except you'll never get a chance!"

"I'm not telling her, end of discussion."

"Fine. Should we go? We are already late."

Rebecca and Jane entered the conference room and slipped into two chairs across from Maura and Laryssa. Rebecca looked around as she sipped the water bottle in front of her and noticed there were a few faces she didn't recognize, but one she did. She choked on her water slightly and Jane looked at her. She leaned over and whispered, "Forget how to swallow?" Jane noticed the marshal's eyes had gone wide and her face was bright red. She looked across the table in the direction the marshal kept looking and noticed she was looking at the FBI agent she'd been introduced to earlier. The FBI agent was smiling at Rebecca and Jane wondered if they perhaps knew one another. Although judging from the marshal's face she'd be willing to bet they more than knew one another. Jane smiled like the cat that swallowed the canary and turned to the marshal.

Rebecca noticed Jane's face and nodded her head forward so Jane would lean forward. "Pretty sure I went home with her the other night."

Jane laughed out loud disrupting the small conversations going on as they waited for

Cavanaugh. "Shhh!" Rebecca shushed Jane by lightly hitting her in the arm. Jane laughed at the absurdity of the situation and happened to look up and catch Maura's eye. She smiled and nodded. She needed Maura to know they were gonna be alright.

A/N: So I totally enjoy reading all the reviews and thoughts about where this could or couldn't be heading. Thanks for the PM's, reviews, likes and favorites. You guys Rock!