Chapter 13
"Good morning, Severus" Dumbledore greeted him warmly "I trust you enjoyed your visit to Hogsmeade?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Um, yes Sir" Severus answered awkwardly, not really wanting to talk about the wonderful day he'd spent with Lily. Still hardly able to believe that the he'd spent with her had been real.
"I am pleased you have come alone today, Severus. I believe it to be for your benefit, I understand some of your nightmares have involved Miss Evans? You may feel more at ease divulging certain details without her here" he explained. Severus nodded, unsure how much Dumbledore knew, he felt certain he knew more than Lily and himself had told him during their brief discussions.
"Only one of the nightmares involved her, Sir. But I don't really want her to know all of it. I still don't understand all of it. Actually, I don't think I understand any of what's going on if I'm honest" he admitted.
"There is obviously something. Your dreams have been very specific events. Some of which you have altered the outcome - such as the attack on Mary MacDonald, and Mr Black's attempt to lure you to the Shrieking Shack during the full moon. Some are yet to be - like choosing to enter Lord Voldemort's ranks as one of his Death Eater's"
"It won't happen" Severus snapped
"I am sure it won't, Severus" Dumbledore replied calmly. Severus took a deep breath "Miss Evans told me that Dreamless Sleep potion does not stop your dreams, is that correct?"
"Yes, Sir. Nothing I do seems to effect whether I have them or not. I either do or I don't, regardless of anything else"
"I think we can safely say that something, or someone, is causing these dreams"
"Like what?" Severus asked "Or who?"
"Do you have any theories yourself, Severus?" Severus placed the two books on Dumbledore's desk, the two he and Lily had found the previous day in Hogsmeade.
"Lily found this one, it certainly has some interesting theories, about different types of time travel. But I don't think it entirely fits with what I'm experiencing" Dumbledore picked up the first small book Severus indicated, turning it over in his hands without saying a word. "This one seems closer to what I'm experiencing" he said, indicating the second book "But again, it doesn't entirely fit. This theory would seem to lean more towards a possible reason for the existence of Seers - they can deliver a message or a warning about what will come, but not change it. It seems like every time I'm getting closer to an answer, it's like there's a piece of the puzzle missing" he said frowning, slumping back in his chair.
"Interesting. Excellent theories indeed. But I do think there is something different going on. I believe to do with memories"
"Memories? Of things that haven't happened?" he asked suspiciously
"I do have a hypothesis, Severus. I would like to try something with you, if I may. It just might get us a step closer to the answer" Dumbledore told him calmly. Severus didn't even have to think about it, whatever Dumbledore suggested, he would do it. He needed an answer
"What do you need to do, Sir?" he asked
"Are you familiar with the Pensieve?" the Headmaster asked, as he stood behind his desk
"I have heard of them, Sir. I've never used one though" Severus' eyes followed Dumbledore as he made his way over to an elaborate cabinet
"The Pensieve is an ideal tool for reviewing memories, Severus. I would like to see if we can view one of your nightmares in here"
"I thought you couldn't view dreams in a Pensieve, Sir. Only memories" he quizzed, standing to move to his Headmaster's side. Dumbledore nodded
"Indeed, you are correct. If I am able to view one of your dreams in here, that would tell us that we are seeing memories, not dreams"
"Memories from the future?" he questioned
"Yes. Though how you are in possession of memories from the future, is a discovery to be made another day" he explained gently. Severus nodded as he tried to process the information. Dumbledore opened the cabinet, revealing the ornate, shimmering Pensieve.
"How do I show you, Sir?" Severus asked, suddenly nervous
"Concentrate, very carefully on what you would like to show me. I will remove the memory as it comes, and place it in the Pensieve. That is all" Severus took a deep breath, trying to decide which of his nightmares would be the best one to share. Mind made up, he turned his attention back to the Headmaster.
"Ok, I'm ready" he nodded, concentrating on the first nightmare that had disturbed his sleep - his death. Severus closed his eyes as he tried to keep his breathing even, as he felt Dumbledore's wand touching his temple
"It is done, Severus" Dumbledore informed him, Severus opened his eyes to see Dumbledore casually flicking his wand over the Pensieve, to place the silvery strand inside "Shall we see if we can view it?"
"You can go without me, Sir" he whispered. He had seen the scene play out in his head several times in his sleep over the last fortnight, and had no desire to immerse himself in it while awake. Dumbledore nodded and peered inside curiously.
Severus wandered back to his chair, waiting for Dumbledore to return, to let him know if he had produced a memory of his death. A few minutes later, the Headmaster made his way back to the desk, his expression a mixture of intrigue and sadness.
"Is there a particular reason you chose to show me your death, Severus?" he asked sadly
"It just seemed the most logical, Sir" he shrugged
"Well, we can now say you are indeed viewing memories. These are not ordinary dreams"
"What do we do next, Sir?" Severus asked
"I believe Occlumency would be a good start"
"Occlumency?" he frowned
"You have read about Occlumency, I'm sure" Severus nodded to confirm he had "If these memories are being sent to you from...somewhere, Occlumency may just help to prevent them reaching you" Dumbledore explained. Severus sat quietly in thought. Was it wise to stop the memories reaching him? Probably, given that he had no idea who was sending them to him, or where from. Until they had more information, preventing them was the safest option. Dumbledore handed him a slip of paper "This book is in the restricted section of the library, this should be sufficient for Madam Pince" he smiled.
Severus looked at the slip of paper 'The Art of Mind Magics' and nodded.
"Get the book, read whatever you can this week. We shall begin lessons next Sunday"
"You wish to teach me Occlumency, Sir?"
"Yes, Severus. I believe that can only be a good thing. Time is a very complex thing, as are memories. And the mind. Your mind needs protecting, and I believe the two of us working together will get you the answers you need"
Severus nodded, it was the most logical suggestion. But the thought of Dumbledore working with his memories, viewing his memories, entering his mind, was a scary one. But there were no other alternatives for the time being.
"Yes, Sir. Thank you" he finally nodded. Decision made.
"Very good" Dumbledore nodded "In that case, I shall see you here next Sunday morning so we can begin our instruction, unless you need to see me before" he finished with a smile. Severus nodded as he rose from his chair, grabbing his books and making his way to the door "Good day, Severus"
"Good day, Sir" he replied before heading back down the stair case.
The morning had been mentally tiring, so many thoughts whirling around, dreams, nightmares, visions. Well, he now knew they were memories, one step closer to figuring out exactly what was happening. And potentially one step closer to stopping the nightmares altogether.
...
Lily sat in the Great Hall with Mary and Alice at the Gryffindor table, waiting for Severus. She was keen to hear about his meeting with Dumbledore, eager to discover their progress. Could Dumbledore help Severus? Would Dumbledore help Severus? Or perhaps, more importantly, would Severus accept help from someone else?
"So, you've been awfully quiet today" Mary stated, interrupting her thoughts
"Do you think so?" she asked nonchalantly
"You've not said much about yesterday" Mary said "everything ok?"
"Oh. Yes, everything's fine" Lily answered
"Fine?" Alice queried "You're not going to tell us more?" she grinned
"I didn't think it was something you'd want to hear about"
"Of course we want to hear about it" Mary said eagerly. Desperate for gossip, no doubt
"We saw you looking cosy in the Three Broomsticks" Alice grinned, raising an eyebrow "But we didn't see you apart from that"
"Well, we spent some time in the bookshop, we bought some chocolate, and went for a walk" she told them
"Anything else?" Alice asked
"Like what?" Lily asked innocently. She knew what they wanted to hear about, only she didn't know how much she wanted to share
"Did he kiss you?" Mary asked with wide eyes. Lily blushed, but didn't answer
"I guess that's a yes then" Alice laughed "So how was it?" she asked curiously
"What?" Lily asked, shocked "It was..." she floundered
"Good? Bad? Come on!" Alice pleaded
"Perfect" she finally answered. Well, it had been perfect. Perfect day, perfect company, perfect kiss. Mary and Alice were silent, whatever they had been expecting her to say, that obviously wasn't it.
"Wow" Mary whispered "So, if yesterday was so perfect, why aren't you with him now?"
"He has a meeting this morning. He should be meeting me soon" she answered quietly
"A meeting? On a Sunday, with who?" Alice asked
"That's not really my place to say." She could have told them she supposed, but again, she didn't know how much Severus would want people to know, and Dumbledore had seemed to think it important that no one find out about his nightmares. If people found out he was suddenly meeting the Headmaster on a regular basis it would look more than a little suspicious.
"Oh, here he comes now" Alice said, turning her attention to the doorway. Lily looked up to see Severus quickly walking in, she smiled brightly as he approached the table
"Hi, Sev" she greeted
"Hello, Lily. Are you ready to go?" he asked quietly
"Yes, I'm ready" she answered, ignoring Mary and Alice who seemed to be snickering to themselves quietly. Lily stood to leave, accepting the hand Severus offered to her
"Bye, you two" the girls called as they walked away from the table. Lily waved and rolled her eyes as they left the Hall, making their way to the library
"So, how did it go this morning?"Lily asked as they walked
"It was, interesting. But tiring" he admitted quietly "I'll tell you about it in the library" he assured her. Lily nodded, obviously wandering through the corridors was not the time or place for a discussion.
Soon enough they were in the library, heading to their usual table. Fortunately the library was empty, apart from Madam Pince, and they would be able to see if anyone else came in. Severus uttered a quiet Muffliato before talking
"Dumbledore is convinced I'm seeing memories" he told her
"Memories? How? Why?" she asked, confused
"He was able to view one of my nightmares in his Pensieve. He would only be able to do that if it was a memory" he sighed. Lily nodded, still confused
"But, how? How can you have memories of something that hasn't happened?" she asked
"He thinks someone is sending them to me. But he doesn't know who. Or why. Or where from. Or when from"
"Hmm" she frowned "So, what's the next step?" she asked. Surely there must be some plan, some way to figure out the answers to this growing list of questions
"Occlumency" he stated simply
"Occlumency?"
"He wants to teach me himself. He thinks it's the best way for me to protect myself. So I won't get these 'memories' coming through to me"
"Wow, that's, well it's difficult isn't it?"
"Apparently. I've read a little about it. I'm not sure what to think. He's going to be poking around in my head" he said, sounding nervous
"I'm sure he won't poke around, Sev" she said gently, touching his arm. Severus sighed
"I hope not. He wants me to get this book" he said as he shoved the slip of paper to her. Lily read it carefully
"Mind Magic?" she asked
"Mmm. I'm still not sure what to make of it though. I mean, some of these dreams have been useful"
"Yes, but you can't keep having nightmares like that, Sev. You'll drive yourself crazy. From lack of sleep if nothing else" she said gently
"I know" he sighed "You're right. Anyway, I'm going to be meeting with Dumbledore weekly, hopefully I'll get some answers"
"You will, Sev. It will be ok" she tried to reassure him. Severus met her eyes then, and gave her a small smile and a nod. Yes, it would be ok. Severus would find the answers, with Dumbledore's help, and hers. She would make sure of that.