Total Drama Alphabet
Chapter 13: Total Drama Sadie
There was a large audience in a large room at the Playa' des Losers. In front of the audience was a sofa in the middle of a fairly small stage, as well as four cushioned and backed bleacher-style seats on both sides of the sofa. There was a large television screen above the sofa. The audience was getting restless and impatient, talking loudly among themselves.
Before the audience started getting even more restless, though, a blonde woman dressed in red came out onto the stage, standing in the middle, and started addressing the audience. "Hello, Total Drama fans! I'm Blaineley Stacy Andrews O'Halloran, and I'll be your host this evening, dishing dirt on your favorite losers this season, and we've got quite the lineup for tonight!"
"Who are you?" someone from the audience shouted.
Blaineley looked toward the person as if he were an idiot. "I repeat, I am Blaineley Stacy Andrews O'Halloran, best known as the host of Celebrity Manhunt."
"I thought Josh hosted that," another audience member said.
"Weren't you fired from that show?" someone else from the audience asked.
Blaineley rolled her eyes. "Um, no. Idiot. I left for bigger and better things."
"Why were you fired?" another audience member asked.
"Probably because she's such a horrible person," another audience member said.
"I am not!" Blaineley yelled, then picked up a nearby camera and lifted it over her head, about to throw it. "I am the nicest person you will ever meet!" Blaineley gently put the camera back down, and smiled. "See? I could've given you brain damage just now, but I didn't." Blaineley sat down on the sofa, placing her hands on her lap, and smiling for the camera. "Tonight, we'll be talking to the first five people voted off of Total Drama Alphabet. Mostly people who no one's going to care about. Now, if you're watching this at home, you've no doubt seen these players in action, but our studio audience here has not, so they pretty much just picked out favorites just from looking at pictures of the contestants on our website, as well as the little blurbs about them.
"Go Danielle!" a guy in the audience shouted. "She rules!"
"Go Frederique!" a girl in the audience shouted, somewhat dreamily. "He's yummy!"
Blaineley rolled her eyes. "As you can tell, these people have, indeed, not seen the show." Blaineley took out a remote control, pushing a large button on it, which showed a chart on the television screen. "Just from looking at a small blurb and a picture, twenty-one percent of fans are pulling for Danielle-it turns out these are mostly men. Another seventeen percent want to see Frederique win, and I'm sorry to say, you will be sorely disappointed." The audience started throwing vegetables at Blaineley, who quickly took cover behind the couch. "OK, Zoe, clean this up!"
Zoe walked out from backstage, grumbling, as she started cleaning the set, while Blaineley came out from behind the couch, and pinched Zoe's cheek. "Don't forget that you are my favorite intern."
"Please stop that," Zoe grumbled.
"Touchy," Blaineley complained, then sat on the stage left side of the sofa, crossing her legs. "Now I have every reason to believe that some contestants will be returning, so cross your fingers that Frederique gets back on." Blaineley smirked. "I know I am!"
"He wasn't that nice," Zoe grumbled.
"Hey, it wasn't his fault that Xuxa and Rachel just assumed he was interested," Blaineley said, then took out a mirror and lipstick, and started applying it. "Someone like Frederique needs someone more mature."
"What are you, like, fifty?" Zoe asked, smirking.
"Twenty-nine, thank you very much," Blaineley stated.
"I could've sworn you were thirty, actually," Zoe said, grinning.
"That birthday never happened!" Blaineley shouted, turning red.
"I'm just saying what I heard on Celebrity Manhunt," Zoe said. "You know, after you were fired."
"That show was nothing but lies!" Blaineley shouted.
"Maybe when you were host," Zoe said.
"The stage is clean enough, now leave!" Blaineley demanded, angrily pointing to the exit.
"Touchy," Zoe said, grinning as she walked off the stage.
Blaineley dusted off her hands. "Now, as the host of Total Drama Blaineley, it will be my pleasure to interview the five contestants who have unfortunately lost." The screen above Blaineley turns on and shows a Total Drama Sadie logo. Blaineley notices it and slaps her face in frustration. "OK, I have no idea why that's there, or why anyone would name this special after that disgusting slob, but you don't have to worry about it, for I, the incredible Blaineley Stacy Andrews O'Halloran, am the actual host for the special, and we are ready for the first guest." Blaineley put a serious face on. "He complained a lot, didn't get along with anyone on his team, Ophelia in particular, and that's about it, really, give it up-or not, I don't care-to Leanne Ann Grump!"
There were a few stray applause from the audience, though Leanne wasn't coming out onto the stage. After several seconds, some screaming could be heard from backstage.
"You can't make me! I won't do it!"
"I think that's Leanne now," Blaineley said. Shortly after, Zoe was dragging out Leanne, who had been tied up, and Zoe sat Leanne down on the lower set of bleacher-style seats on the left side of the stage, then she left. Leanne didn't look happy at all.
"I'll sue!" Leanne yelled. "You can't force me to do this!"
"I'm pretty sure we can," Blaineley said. "I mean, I didn't read these contracts, but I'm sure Courtney was careful in writing these up."
"You can't make me answer anything!" Leanne yelled. "You can't make me talk!"
"I'm betting you won't be able to resist telling your side of the story, though," Blaineley said, rolling her eyes. "According to the preliminary polls, you're the least popular contestant this season, with exactly zero votes on the website for the show."
"They will respect me more when they see my skills on the show!" Leanne yelled.
"I'll bet," Blaineley said, raising an eyebrow. "What 'skills' would these have been, exactly?" Blaineley asked, finger-quoting the word 'skills.'
"Everything!" Leanne yelled. "I can do anything!"
"Well call me, beep me, if you want to tell me what 'anything' includes," Blaineley said.
"Everything!" Leanne yelled. "Which part of 'everything' does your stupid little blonde mind not comprehend?"
"Well this is going well," Blaineley said, rolling her eyes. "Can you be a little more specific, though?"
"Why should I?" Leanne yelled. "You don't respect me!"
"What was your first clue?" Blaineley asked, then yawned.
"You don't deserve to know the real me!" Leanne yelled.
"Do you really have to keep yelling, Yosemite Samantha?" Blaineley asked. "We can hear you quite fine if you speak in a normal volume."
"And stop that!" Leanne yelled. "I am not a girl! I am a man!"
"I know," Blaineley said, smirking. "I just don't like you."
"Would you like it if I called you a boy?" Leanne asked.
"Yes," Blaineley said, grinning. "Yes I would."
"Shut up!" Leanne screamed, turning red.
"You are incredibly easy to set off, you know that?" Blaineley asked.
"Just shut up, already!" Leanne yelled.
"I'd rather not," Blaineley said. "Now could you tell me anything about your home life?"
"No!" Leanne yelled. "That's none of your business!"
"Actually, it is," Blaineley said, smirking. "We know all about your home life." Blaineley shrugged. "But since it was completely boring and mundane, and no one in your home town was really interested in talking about you, except to say that you have absolutely no friends, and since I'd like to get this over with, I won't press the issue."
"Thank goodness," Leanne said, still clearly angry.
Blaineley started grinning. "So, what's the deal with you and Ophelia?"
"I despite the wench," Leanne said, quieter and more sinister than he'd been speaking before, glaring at Blaineley.
"So you have a crush on her," Blaineley said, smirking once more.
"I do NOT have a crush on that… that thing!" Leanne screamed. Blaineley had a big smile on her face as she took out a remote, and pushed a button, which put Ophelia on the screen above.
"Hi, Leanne!" Ophelia cheered.
"Don't talk to me!" Leanne yelled.
Ophelia tapped her chin, then shrugged. "I think I will, anyway. You're so cute, there!" Ophelia face a funny face into the camera, and looked as if she were pinching the camera as if it had a cheek. "Oh yes you are, oh yes you are! Who's a good girl? You're a good girl!"
"I am not a girl!" Leanne yelled., trying to butt bounce away, but just wound up falling on his side.
"Yes, you are a girl," Ophelia said, shaking her head. "You really should just accept the fact already. Anyway, Izzy asked me to prerecord a message for you to show in the Total Drama Sadie show that you're a part of."
"Prerecord?" Leanne yelled. "But you're talking directly to me!"
Ophelia grinned. "And yes, it is prerecorded, but you're so predictable, I can answer every question you ask Come on, try me!"
"Why do you treat me so horribly?" Leanne yelled.
"Because I don't like you," Ophelia said, smirking. "Poor predictable, unlikable Leanne." Ophelia shook her head. "Tsk, tsk. Well, byesies!" The television screen turned off.
"I can see the sparks already," Blaineley said, smirking.
"She's lucky she's not here right now, or I'd show her what for!" Leanne yelled.
"Well, this is your lucky day!" Blaineley exclaimed, as Ophelia walked onto the stage, wearing boxing gloves. "We thought it might be fun to give you a chance to get your revenge?"
"Are you daft?" Leanne yelled. "I can't fight her! I'm all tied up!"
Blaineley rolled her eyes, then went over to untie Leanne, while Zoe brought out a pair of boxing gloves.
"This is a stupid idea," Zoe said. "I'm only going along with this because I don't like Leanne either."
"Don't care," Blaineley said, as Leanne was standing up, wearing his boxing gloves, while Ophelia was on the other side of the stage, bobbing up and down, trying to look serious, though she kept letting smiles sneak out.
Blaineley took out a bell and hammer. "When I hit the bell, you two fight it out!" Blaineley hit the bell, and sat down and watched, smiling big.
"Just so you know, I have no qualms about hitting a girl!" Leanne yelled.
"Doesn't bother us," Blaineley said, smirking. "Audience loves catfights!"
Leanne grumbled to himself, while Ophelia took out a bottle of Coca-Cola, and started drinking it. "Makes me stronger."
"Don't care!" Leanne yelled, but Ophelia bounced back to the other side of the stage, glaring at Leanne, then quickly charged him and uppercut him, knocking him to the ground.
"And Ophelia wins!" Blaineley exclaimed, as she popped up next to Ophelia, pulling her arm toward the ceiling.
"You know, you seem nicer in person," Ophelia said, drinking more of her Coca-Cola. "Back on Celebrity Manhunt, you seemed so horrible and cruel, and-"
"No idea what you're talking about, honey," Blaineley said.
"And where's Sadie, anyway?" Ophelia asked. "It seems odd for this thing to be called Total Drama Sadie when there's no sign of Sadie."
"I don't know and don't care where the fat girl is," Blaineley said. "She's probably stuffing her face with food."
"OK, maybe you're not nicer in person," Ophelia said, scratching her head with her boxing glove, which spilled soda in her hair.
"Look, that's nice, but we have a show to run, and we don't need you here anymore," Blaineley said, violently shoving Ophelia off the stage, and there was a crash that sounded like Ophelia had just crashed into a tower of soup cans.
"Ow," Ophelia said. "What a lousy place to stack soup cans."
"Honestly, I have no clue how those got there," Blaineley said, confused.
"Oh, I put them there," Ophelia said. "Just that, in hindsight, it wasn't the best idea I ever had."
Blaineley rolled her eyes, while Zoe brought out a small bag to Blaineley. "How about some letters?" Blaineley asked.
"I hate letters!" Leanne yelled.
"Good thing you don't get a say in this," Blaineley said, as she took a letter-the only letter-out of the bag. "You only have one letter, so this won't take long."
"I hate that person for writing to me!" Leanne yelled.
Blaineley opened the envelope and took out the letter inside. "Here's a letter from Daisy." Blaineley cleared her throat. "Dear Leanne, I hate you! You sound like you're going to suck! I want the old contestants back!"
"She sounds like she sucks!" Leanne yelled.
"She probably does," Blaineley said. "Most fans do, but it doesn't mean she said anything untrue in there."
"Now can I leave?" Leanne yelled.
"Contractually, you're obligated to stay until this show is over."
"Hmph!" Leanne crossed his arms over his chest.
"You do need to move over to make room for our next guest, though," Blaineley said, waving her hand over to the other side of his seat.
"And you need to leave, too," Sadie said, walking in from the right side of the stage. "I would've told you to leave sooner, but I really didn't want to talk to him," Sadie said, looking disgusted as she pointed to Leanne.
"Now, I know you're a little dim, so I'll explain this slowly," Blaineley said patronizingly. "Chris gave this show to me. For me to host. Not you, but me. So please go away, because no one really wants to see your big ugly butt sullying the cameras."
"But Izzy gave this show to Katie!" Sadie yelled, getting angry, throwing her arms into the air. "Her prize for winning last season!"
"OK, two things, sweetheart," Blaineley said as she started counting on her fingers. "One, you aren't Katie, so no one cares. And two, I don't care what Izzy promised Katie, since Chris, and not Izzy, is in the position to decide who gets to host this."
"Chris was fired," Sadie said, smirking.
"Um, no, he got promoted to producer," Blaineley said. "It was a big story on Celebrity Manhunt."
"I'm surprised you'd still watch that," Katie said, smirking as she walked out over to Katie. "You know, after the big scandal where they-"
"Those were lies and they knew it!" Blaineley shouted. "Chris showed me a tape of the interview himself! Izzy never had a right to promise you this show!"
"OK, I'm here!" Izzy exclaimed, swinging down from one of the lights on the ceiling, which came crashing to the ground as Izzy leapt off. "Noah called and said there was a-hey, you're Mildred!" Izzy exclaimed, looking to Blaineley.
Blaineley's eye twitched. "I have no idea who you're talking about."
"Oh, right, 'Blaineley,'" Izzy said, using finger quotes around her name. "Why are you here, anyway? Katie and Sadie have a show to do."
"I was promised this show by Chris," Blaineley said, smirking as she took out a contract. "I'm sorry to disappoint you."
Izzy shook her head. "Chris was fired. This contract is worthless."
"He was promoted to producer for the show," Blaineley said. "I saw the interview myself."
Izzy shook her head as she took out her cell phone, and dialed. "Hello, Penelope? Yeah, I've got someone here, says Chris gave her a spot on the show?" Izzy nodded. "Yes, can you talk to her? She doesn't believe Chris was fired." Izzy nodded. "OK, thanks!" Izzy handed the phone to Blaineley, then dragged her off stage. "You can ask the head honcho yourself."
Katie and Sadie, still on stage, looked to each other, then shrugged. "I guess we're hosting, now?" Sadie asked.
"Yes!" Katie exclaimed. "Noah, come on out!" After waiting a few seconds, Katie walked off the stage, then immediately returned, dragging Noah behind her. "We need you!"
"I can't wait," Noah stated, rolling his eyes as Katie plopped him on the stage right side of the sofa, while Sadie sat down on the left, and Katie in between.
"It'll be fun!" Katie exclaimed, then kissed Noah's cheek, then started caressing his opposite shoulder. "Besides, we need a smart guy here!"
"Yes, we need a smart guy!" Sadie exclaimed. "And you're, like, the smartest guy we know!"
Noah looked proud of himself. "What can I say? When you're right, you're right."
"I totally knew that would work!" Katie exclaimed.
"I swear, you're more bloody annoying than the old woman!" Leanne yelled.
"There was a reason I told Sadie to let Blaineley interview you before we stepped in," Katie said.
"It was pretty nervy, though," Sadie said. "Trying to steal our little show! Who did she think she was?"
"Blaineley, I'm guessing," Noah said. "I lost count of how many times she mentioned her ridiculous name."
"I can't believe she tried to take our show, though!" Katie said in disbelief.
"Well, if Chris led her to believe that she would get to host this show-" Noah started.
"She was obviously lying about that," Katie said, rolling her eyes.
"Yeah, like, totally obvious," Sadie agreed.
"She's just desperate to be on TV again since she was fired from Celebrity Manhunt."
Sadie shuddered. "She doesn't deserve to be on TV after what she did!"
"Like, I know!" Katie agreed. "I can't believe she did that!"
"Oh, I know!" Sadie exclaimed.
"I don't really care," Noah said. "Can we move this show along?"
"Oh, sorry," Sadie said, then giggled. "Our next guest didn't do a whole lot, but he was a bit of a smart alec, and he was kind of creepy around Candice."
"She was kind of asking for it, though," Katie said. "I mean, did you see how she dressed?"
"Um, did you see how you dress?" Noah asked, pointing out Katie's sleeve.
"That's different," Katie said, shooing Noah's hand away. "This isn't a bikini top."
"Yeah, totally not a bikini top," Sadie agreed.
"The next contestant?" Noah asked, shaking his head in the palm of his hand.
"Oh yeah, the next contestant!" Sadie exclaimed, perking up. "Please welcome Walter Geoffrey Albertson!"
Walter walked over to his seat and sat down. "I assure you, you needn't address me by my entire name."
Sadie's face contorted, while Katie was holding her nose. "Ever hear of a shower?" Noah asked, waving his hand in front of his nose.
"You'll adjust to the scent," Walter said.
"Frankly, that frightens me," Noah said.
Sadie vomited, right in Walter's lap, who just shrugged. "Not the first time that's happened," he said, as he just wiped it off with his hand."
"OK, that's just sick," Katie said, contorting her own face.
"You get used to it," Walter said.
"No, we don't," Katie said.
"Now Walter, you were the second person voted off," Sadie said. "I'm a little disappointed, really."
"I would have preferred not to have been the second person voted off, too," Walter said.
"I mean, you act like a stereotypical fat person!" Sadie shouted. "I have it bad enough without someone like you reminding people that all overweight people are horrible to be around!"
"But unlike you, I have actual intelligence," Walter said. "I can coast on that."
"I'm not stupid!" Sadie yelled.
Katie scowled at Walter, then looked comforting to Sadie. "You want me to handle him?"
Sadie nodded as she was tearing up. "Yes."
"OK," Katie said, cracking her knuckles.
"I requested to be interviewed by Gwen," Walter said. "I ask thee where she is."
"She said no," Katie said. "You kinda' creep her out."
"Typical," Walter said. "A typical sizist attitude for a thin person to have."
"Or she just doesn't like you," Noah said, rubbing his forehead. "Get over it."
"And seriously, bathe!" Katie said. "After this show is over, OK?"
"I have better things to do with my time," Walter said.
"Like?" Katie asked, raising an eyebrow.
"That's for me to know," Walter answered.
"In other words, you don't feel like it, gotcha'," Katie muttered. "Anyway, how did it feel to be the second person voted out?"
"Like a bowl of daisies," Walter said. "I'm thrilled that my female teammates-and they're very barely female-"
"Don't push it," Katie said, getting irritated.
"Well, they decided that I needed to be voted off, for inconceivable reasons."
"You were trying to vote off Katrina," Katie said.
"She was useless," Walter said. "And, in case you haven't been paying attention-or you're just too stupid to figure it out-she's apparently evil as well."
"OK, you really need to stop talking," Noah said. "I really don't care how supposedly evil Katrina is or not, but you will not continue with this 'Katie is stupid' shtick."
"I have nothing to fear from you," Walter said. "I may not be strong, but I'm well aware that you couldn't take me on."
"What are you-I'm aware of that!" Noah shouted. "I was talking about Katie!"
"That puny nobody?" Walter asked, then laughed for a moment.
"Rawr!" Katie yelled, pouncing on Walter, knocking him to the ground, wrestling with him, and winning, though Walter wasn't even trying to fight back, but was instead grinning.
"Rawr?" Sadie asked. "Really, 'rawr,' Katie?"
Noah's eyes went wide. "Katie, get off!"
Katie turned her head back to Noah. "But I'm-"
"You're turning him on!"
"Eep!" Katie shrieked as she instantly leapt into Noah's lap, looking freaked out.
Walter picked himself up off the ground and went back to his seat. "As I was saying, she's not very intelligent." Walter shook his head. "You deserve better, Noah."
Noah shook his head. "No, I deserve Katie."
"Aww!" Katie cooed, then wrapped her arms and legs around Noah, who begrudgedly allowed it, but then smirked.
"Just interview him already and get this over with!" Leanne yelled, with his arms crossed over his chest. "You should have just let that horrid Blake or whatever her name was continue this!"
"In retrospect, we should have waited for Candice," Katie said. "What's done is done, though, so let's continue. What's life like at home?"
"I tolerate it out of necessity," Walter said. "My parents are imbeciles, and are often in dire need of a tongue-lashing. I do very well in school, though the students and teachers are all jealous of my vast intellect."
"The teachers?" Katie asked, contorting her face a bit.
"Naturally," Walter said. "When my nigh endless intelligence gets me a job that gets me millions, they will be jealous that they're getting a mere pittance."
"Yes, they're clearly jealous," Noah said. "That's obviously why they don't like you."
"I figured you would be the one person to understand my unfortunate position," Walter said. Noah's eye twitched.
"I'm a little tired of talking to you, really," Katie said. "Zoe, I'm ready for Walter's fan mail!"
"It's nice to know I have some people who can appreciate me," Walter said, as Zoe handed Katie a small bag, and Katie took out a small remote.
"But before we get to the fan mail, we have a special gift for you!" Katie exclaimed, then smirked as she pressed a button on her remote, and immediately water came gushing from the ceiling, onto Walter, drenching him.
"What was that?" Walter yelled, angry.
"Six hundred gallons of genuine Niagra Falls," Katie said, grinning mischievously.
Sadie looked up, squeed, then glomped Katie. "That was, like, so awesome!"
"I know!" Katie exclaimed, glomping back.
"Eeeiii!" the two girls squeed together, with Noah holding his ears.
"What's with the water?" Walter complained.
"We were going to give you a bath whether you needed one or not!" Katie exclaimed, grinning.
"Whether he wanted one or not," Noah said, with his head in the palm of his hand.
"Or what he said," Katie said, pointing her thumb toward Noah. Katie then took two envelopes out of her bag. "Not a whole lot of fan mail."
"Well, the show hasn't aired yet," Noah said. "All of the fan mail they're getting so far is just from the blurbs on the website."
"Which tells you everything you need to know about us, anyway," Walter said. "I am curious to see how intelligent those who desire to write me are."
"Somehow, I suspect you don't really care," Katie said, as she opened one of the two envelopes, and pulled out the letter inside. "Here's a letter from Scott. Dear Walter, you need to go on a diet. Wow, you're fat!"
"It's his loss for judging me by physical appearances," Walter said. "If he knew the real me, he would surely be in awe of me."
"No, if he knew the real you, he'd like you less," Katie said.
"No, you don't care about the real me," Walter said. "You despise me for my weight."
"Have you ever met my BFFFL?" Katie asked in disbelief.
"Tagging along with her so you can be the so-called pretty one by comparison, I'm sure," Walter said.
"No, we really do care about each other!" Katie exclaimed, glomping Sadie.
"Yeah, we do!" Sadie yelled, getting irritated.
"Whatever you say," Walter said.
"You complain too much!" Leanne yelled.
"You would be the expert on that," Noah said, raising an eyebrow.
"Shut up!" Leanne yelled.
"We still have another letter!" Katie exclaimed, waving the envelope high in the air, then lowered it and opened the envelope, removing the letter from inside. "Here's a letter from Charmin!"
"That's not a real name," Walter said. "What kind of idiot is named after toilet paper?"
"I'm sure Charmin will appreciate that sentiment," Katie muttered, then turned to the letter. "Hi Walter! You sound cool, and unappreciated in real life. I'm rooting for you, though! Show the rest of Canada that looks don't matter! Sincerely, Charmin." Katie shook her head. "Well, I'm pretty sure you blew that one."
"She wasn't good enough for me," Walter said. "I deserve someone better than that."
"Better than what?" Katie yelled. "Better than someone named Charmin? You don't even know what she looks like!"
"I don't need to," Walter said. "Her name says it all."
"That's like… like, namism!" Katie shouted.
"No it isn't," Walter said.
Noah put his hand on Katie's shoulder, shaking his head. "Yeah, it really isn't."
"Oh," Katie said, putting her head down. "I still don't like it."
"No one else does, either," Noah said, patting Katie's back while glaring at Walter.
"Are you through with me now?" Walter asked. "I'd like to go back to my room if you're done with me."
"We're done with the interview, yes, but you're contractually obligated to stay until this show is over," Katie said.
Walter grumbled. "This is ridiculous."
"Yeah, we don't care," Katie said, then turned to Sadie. "You want to take over again, for Candice?"
Walter perked up. "I think I can manage to tolerate being here."
"Well aren't you lovely," Katie muttered.
"No, he's not really lovely at all," Sadie said, confused. Noah slapped his face in frustration. "Anyway, our next contestant was really sweet, and seemed to really do good in the show, but just made some enemies, because people didn't like what she looked like."
"I think the other girls were just jealous," Katie said, grinning. "She had it going on!"
"Oh, I know!" Sadie exclaimed, and the two girls squeed together.
"Would you cut out that racket?" Leanne yelled.
"Eeeiii!" the two girls squeed again. Then again. And again.
"Stop that bloody racket!"
"We like annoying you," Katie said, with a mischievous grin, and the two girls started squeeing again.
"OK, look, I don't blame you for wanting to do this to him, but I'm being tortured by this, too!" Noah shouted.
"Oh, sorry," Katie said, then kissed Noah's cheek. "I guess we did kinda' overdo it."
"Yes, you did," Noah stated.
"Well, I like the next contestant, anyway!" Sadie exclaimed. "She was here to judge one of the challenges last season, and she did a good job this season, and could've even won the race if Stephanie didn't interfere." Sadie shuddered. "Stephanie's so mean, I swear!"
"I know, like, some nerve she had," Katie said.
"Oh, I know," Sadie said. "It's like, who does she think she is?"
"I know!" Katie exclaimed, waving her hand.
"I know, I know, can you stop knowing everything now?" Noah asked.
Katie looked to Sadie nervously. "You better move on. Noah's getting cranky."
"I think you're right," Sadie said. "Anyway, give it up for our next guest, Candice Candace Kane!"
"Is that really her middle name?" Katie asked, surprised.
Walter moved over, pushing Leanne off the seat, while Candice sat down.
"Hello? You just knocked me over!" Leanne yelled.
"No one cares," Katie said. "Move to the top if you want a seat." Leanne grumbled as he made his way to the top row of seats.
"It's so nice to have you here," Sadie said to Candice, who looked nervous, holding her hands in her lap.
"No it's not," Katie said. "If she's here, then she lost. That's not a good thing!"
"Oh, yeah," Sadie said, then looked down. "I'm sorry you have to be here."
Candice shrugged. "I'm over it. It was a nice dream while it lasted, at least."
"But you totally deserved to win!" Sadie exclaimed.
"Like, totally!" Katie exclaimed.
"Like, totally," Noah stated, weakly motioning his hand in a circle.
Katie playfully slapped Noah. "Shut up, you." Katie turned back to Candice. "You might still win, though, don't give up! You'll eventually get a chance to get back in the game!"
"What about not being able to ever return, ever?" Candice asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No one really believes it, and we're not even going to pretend that's for real," Sadie said, waving off the question. "Really, you should totally win!"
"Totally!" Katie exclaimed.
"No she shouldn't have!"
"Um, who was that?" Sadie asked, not knowing where the voice was coming from.
"It's Blaineley," Blaineley said, walking onto the stage, disgusted. "If you're going to rob me of getting to host this show, the least you can do is get it right!"
"What are you talking about?" Sadie asked, confused.
"She's a slut!" Blaineley shouted. "She doesn't deserve to win!" Candice ducked her head down, embarrassed.
"OK, can you not do that?" Katie asked. "She feels bad enough that she used to be a horrible person."
"That's going to make her feel better," Noah said.
"That's not what I meant!" Katie shouted. "I meant that Candice used to be a horrible person, but now she isn't!"
"I was never horrible," Candice said, looking hurt.
"Oh, you weren't?" Katie asked. "I thought you used to be a slut, or something."
"I wasn't ever mean, though," Candice said. "I always tried to be nice. I mean, I ain't proud of sleeping with everyone, but I was always as nice as could be."
"Aww, I'm sorry Katie said those awful things to you," Sadie said, walking over to hug Candice.
"Hey, you were thinking the same thing!" Katie shouted.
"Well, duh, but I didn't say them out loud," Sadie said, not really noticing Candice right there.
"And people think I'm heartless," Blaineley said, shaking her head.
"What are you still doing here?" Noah asked, raising an eyebrow. "You really should be leaving."
"Hey, someone needs to run the show," Blaineley said.
"Yes," Noah said. "Katie and Sadie. Not you." Noah looked off-stage. "Rain!"
"Come on, we can work together, right?" Blaineley asked. Rain then walked onto the stage and started dragging Blaineley away. "But this show needs me! I can offer legal-age sex appeal for this show!"
"So can Candice," Noah said, smirking.
"Come on, let me stay! Please?" Blaineley shouted, as she was thrown off the stage, and it sounded like she'd crashed into the soup cans.
"You know, she kind of reminds me of Bridgette," Candice said. "I mean, she looks like she could be Bridgette's older sister. Definitely not as nice as Bridgette."
"You like Bridgette, don't you?" Sadie asked, sitting back on the sofa once more.
"Oh, yes!" Candice exclaimed. "She's so sweet, and so caring, and so much closer to perfection than anyone else."
"She isn't really perfect, you know," Katie said. "I mean, she's closer than me-I didn't want to brag-but she-"
"She's not perfect, I know," Candice said, still smiling while she twiddled her thumbs. "She was a little suspicious of me, not sure about the whole slut thing, worried about my dress, but she's accepted me for who I am. I couldn't stay mad at her!" Candice chuckled to herself. "Or even get mad in the first place, really."
"Do you have a crush on her?" Katie asked, grinning mischievously.
"Not really," Candice said. "I'm not really looking, though, and besides, Bridgette's got Geoff, and I wouldn't want to get between them." Candice sighed. "I'd be open to it if the opportunity arose, though."
"That… was not the answer I was expecting," Katie said.
"I'm tired of being used by boys," Candice said, resting her head on her hand. "Maybe girls would work out better? I don't know, really. I have an open mind."
"I, for one, completely approve of you making out with another girl," Walter said, grinning. "I think you should make out with Danielle."
"I don't know," Candice said. "I mean, sure, Danielle can be nice sometimes, but she can also be pretty judgmental and mean."
Noah blinked. "She actually took his request at face value."
"Candice, sweetie," Katie said, a bit nervous, "you do know Walter just said that because he thinks it would be hot to see you and Danielle making out."
"Oh," Candice said, turning a bit red in embarrassment. "Still, Danielle might be nice after we get to know each other better."
"I'm kinda' doubting that," Katie said.
"Really, she's not so bad," Candice said. "I mean, she's not the nicest person ever, and she does think rather highly of herself, but she's also got this really sweet side." Candice rested her head in her hands. "She's hurting. I can't stay mad at her."
"It's not that hard," Katie muttered.
"Really, I'd like to see Danielle win," Candice said, then looked down. "Or maybe Katrina."
"Katrina?" Katie asked.
"I mean, don't get me wrong! I know she's like super rich, and doesn't really need more money, but I just know she'd use it for a good cause, and she's just so sweet, and I really wish I could've been on the same team as her and gotten to know her."
"She's not that nice," Walter said.
Candice sighed. "Look, I understand that she wasn't always nice-we all saw the footage with her and Mallory-but people change. And I'd love to have gotten to know her."
"Besides, you just think she's ugly," Sadie said, putting her hands on her hips.
"Yeah, you just think she's ugly," Katie agreed.
"Yes, listen to the echo," Noah said. Walter rolled his eyes.
"Candice, early on, you and Isis didn't get along too well," Sadie said. "And then, later on, you were you BFFFLs!"
"I don't really blame her," Candice said, putting her hands in her pants pockets, which were in the front for a change. "Well, not entirely. I understand she was suspicious because I'm white, and for that, I don't blame her."
"Yes, we wouldn't want to blame the racist for being racist," Walter said.
Candice rolled her eyes. "Did you ever think that maybe there's a reason she's wary around white people?"
"If she were white, and we were black, people would call her a racist for being wary of us," Walter said. "It's the same thing, but reversed here."
"You're an idiot," Candice said, irritated.
"Not to be rude," Katie interrupted, "but it kinda' sounded like he had a point."
"Just wait before you judge, OK?" Candice asked, smiling. "It's not really my place to talk about why she feels the way she does. But her calling me a slut stung, and that isn't really something she had an excuse for."
"And you're not one anymore, right?" Katie asked.
"Yes, but it wouldn't have been appropriate, anyway," Candice said. "If I'm hurting myself, how does shaming me help me at all?"
"I dunno'," Katie said. "Maybe you'd stop?"
"It's not that simple," Candice said. "All it ever did was make me feel bad. I wanted to stop because it wasn't good for my own well being. It really shouldn't have been everyone else's business who I did or didn't sleep with."
"I'm sorry," Katie said, tearing up, along with Sadie. "I'd hate to think I was being mean to someone like you."
"Not just nice people," Candice said. "Even if someone isn't nice, it's just not nice to make fun for them for sleeping around. It really hurts."
Katie smiled. "I'll try."
"Thank you," Candice said. "My sister, Candace isn't in a good place."
"Candice?" Sadie asked, confused. "You and your sister have the same name?"
Candice laughed a bit. "Not quite. I'm C-A-N-D-I-C-E Candice. My sister is C-A-N-D-A-C-E Candace. And yes, we both hate how our parents gave us almost identical names."
"It seems like that'd be confusing," Sadie said. "Like, if your Mom said 'Candice, get here this instant,' who would come running?"
"Both of us," Candice said. "If one of us was in trouble, both of us were."
"What about Isis, though?" Katie asked. "You said you didn't like her calling you a slut, but you seem close to her, now."
"Oh, we are!" Candice exclaimed, almost giddy. "She's such a beautiful person, and she's realized she was wrong for calling me a slut. She's had it hard, though. I can't stay mad at her."
"That's nice," Katie said, smiling. "What about your sister? Can you tell us about Candace, Candice? You sound close."
"Oh, we were," Candice said, tearing up a little. "She was the best! My sister is five years older than me, and practically raised me." Candice wiped a tear from her eye. "My parents didn't really care that I existed, but she was always there." Candice sighed. "I guess it's not too hard to believe that we wound up getting into the life that we did. I was sleeping around, yes, but my sister's into prostitution and drugs, now, and… I really wanted to get help for her." Candice blew her nose into her hand, disgusting Leanne, Katie, and Noah. Katie quickly got her a hand sanitizing wipe. "Sorry about that," Candice said. "I was really hoping I could win the million dollars to help her. And, well, me too, since I really wanted to get a new life for myself. Right now I'm stuck, though, and I don't know what I'm going to do when I get back home."
Sadie glomped Candice, bawling her eyes out. "I'm so, so sorry!"
"It's not your fault," Candice said, patting Sadie's back.
"But it's so sad," Sadie cried out, still latching on to Candice.
"Yeah, it is pretty sad," Katie agreed, crying as well, though Noah was simply looking bored. Katie soon noticed, then elbowed Noah.
"Oh, yeah, it is sad," Noah said. "I just don't get as emotional."
"It's OK," Katie said, kissing Noah's cheek again. "I forgive you for feeling you need to bottle up your emotions." Noah rolled his eyes.
"What's with the bikini?" Katie asked, then pointed to her midriff. "Not that I personally see it as a problem, but it is kinda' odd."
"It's comfortable," Candice said. "I got used to wearing it, and I just got comfortable with it. And I don't have a whole lot of money for more clothes, anyway."
"Too many clothes get too hot, so I agree," Sadie said. "In fact, sometimes I wish I could just take it all off, and enjoy the breeze, and-"
"Please, for the love of all that is holy, don't do it!" Leanne yelled.
"I wasn't going to," Sadie said. "Though you do make it tempting."
"Don't listen to him," Katie said, lightly hugging Sadie. "You're beautiful."
"Aww, thank you!" Sadie exclaimed, hugging back. "You're more beautiful, though."
"Well, duh," Katie said, as if it were obvious. "But that's not the point."
"Why is this called Total Drama Sadie, anyway?" Candice asked. "I mean, it's nice that Sadie's getting some attention, but what about you, Katie?"
"Izzy wanted to give me her old show after she became the host, since I won and all, and I love gossip!" Katie exclaimed. "I insisted on the name. Wanted to honor my BFFFL!"
"Katie wouldn't let me argue," Sadie said, smiling bright.
"And I insisted Noah be here too," Katie said. "We needed a straight man, after all."
"Lucky me," Noah said, rolling his hand in the air, feigning excitement.
"I really hope things get better for you and your sister," Katie said, smiling sweetly. "You deserve it."
"Thank you," Candice said, smiling back.
"Mail time!" Katie exclaimed, as Zoe brought out a huge sack of letters.
"That many people like me?" Candice asked, looking happy.
"No one's seen the show yet," Katie said. "They're pretty much judging you on just a short blurb and a picture on the website. Most of these letters are just from guys who want to do things with you, or girls who feel you should burn in Hell."
"How pleasant," Candice said, tapping her fingers on her seat.
"There're a few nice ones in here, though," Sadie said, as she took out an envelope marked with a check mark, and opened it to remove the letter inside. "This one's from Candace."
"Another-oh, it's Candace with an a instead of an i," Katie said, looking over Sadie's shoulder.
Sadie smiled. "Anyway, Candace writes dear Candice, I've been in your situation, and I know it can be hard. Don't let anyone get you down, and I hope you can win!"
"Aww, I like her," Katie said, wiping a tear from her eye.
"Aww, me too," Sadie said, as the two hugged each other and then "awwed" together.
"Thank you, other Candace," Candice said, then laughed a bit. "I appreciate it, really."
Sadie then composed herself and took out another envelope with a check mark on it. "This one's from Stacy. Dear Candice, I hope you're not ashamed of what you've done. I don't know your exact situation, but there's nothing wrong with sex. I love it, and guys are allowed to enjoy it without being labeled. Why do we get called sluts, when guys get called heroes? It isn't fair, but screw them! Or don't screw them. I prefer screwing the nicer guys out there, really. Whatever you do, though, I hope you're putting yourself first."
"I'm confused," Katie said. "Should I agree with her, or not agree with her?"
"Agree with her," Candice said, wearing a warm smile. "Some of these people are really sweet, and she's right, really. If I were a guy, no one would think less of me."
"But you're not a guy, so no one cares," Walter said. "If you don't want to be treated like scenery, then don't dress like it."
"Can I hit him?" Candice asked, irritated. "I'd really like to hit him."
Sadie shrugged. "Fine with me."
"Hey," Walter whined, "if I were the girl and you were the guy, no one would allow that!"
"The only reason I'm not doing it is because I know you'd enjoy it if I did," Candice said, grinning. Walter started grumbling to himself.
"She is pretty sharp," Noah said.
"You didn't have to use the word 'pretty,'" Katie said. "But we do have… well, actually, Sadie, why don't you tell her?"
"Oh, right, we have a special guest!" Sadie exclaimed, but almost immediately looked guilty. "We tried to get your sister to come, but she wasn't really in a good place, and we felt it wouldn't be good to bring her here on television, but we are helping her get clean right now."
"I really hope she makes it!" Katie exclaimed.
"But we did get a special guest to come… even though you saw her pretty recently anyway, but we knew you'd like to see her again, please welcome Bridgette!" Bridgette walked onto the stage, waving to the audience, then opening her arms as she approached Candice.
"Eeeiii!" Candice squeed, as she rushed over to glomp Bridgette, who looked content. "I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy to see you again!"
"You too," Bridgette said, wearing a warm smile. The two girls then sat down together where Candice was sitting before. Bridgette then looked a bit guilty. "I'm sorry that I-"
"You already apologized," Candice said, lightly hugging Bridgette. "It's OK. No one's perfect."
"I feel bad about it, though," Bridgette said, looking down at her feet.
"You're such an amazing person, really," Candice said. "You're so sweet, and caring, and so close to perfection!"
"I'm not that good," Bridgette said, a bit embarrassed. "I'm human, just like anyone else."
"I'd totally go vegetarian if I could afford it," Candice said. "I just really can't afford it."
"It's OK, really," Bridgette said. "You don't have to do that just to please me."
"It's not that," Candice said. "It's just that you're so kind and caring and everything, that if you don't eat meat, maybe I should look at myself, and ask myself if I really need it."
"Well, that's good," Bridgette said. "I just hope you don't want to do it only because I am."
"Don't worry," Candice said, smiling. "Can't afford it now, anyway."
"You might still win," Bridgette said. "I mean, if there's a chance you can come back, anyway. I can neither confirm nor deny that there's going to be a second chance later on." Bridgette smiled brightly. "But good luck in case there is!"
"Thank you," Candice said, smiling.
"Are you busy, Bridgette?" Katie asked.
"I can stay here for a while," Bridgette said, shrugging. "The contestants have the day off, so it's no problem." Bridgette turned to Candice. "We can hang out after the show, if you like."
"I'd love that!" Candice exclaimed.
"Isis can too, if you like," Bridgette said.
"We'll get to Isis later, but we have one more guest first," Katie said, looking a bit dreamy.
"A huge jerk face," Sadie said, crossing her arms over her chest.
Katie rolled her eyes. "Sadie, everyone was mean to him. It wasn't his fault."
"How could he do that to poor Xuxa?" Sadie asked, tearing up. "It was just so cruel and heartless."
"Well, why don't we just bring him out and ask him?" Noah asked flatly.
"Fine," Sadie said, pouting. "Our next guest was a huge jerk face-"
"He was a total hottie hot hottie!" Katie exclaimed.
"Xuxa and Rachel loved him, gave their all to him, and he just stomped on their hearts cruelly-"
"So yummy! Eeeiii!" Katie squeed.
"Please don't squee," Sadie said. "This is an inappropriate guy to squee over."
"So totally false!" Katie insisted.
"When your boyfriend is sitting next to you, yeah, it kinda' is inappropriate," Noah said.
Katie turned her head around quickly, looking guilty. "Oops… sorry." Katie rubbed Noah's head.
"Well, let's meet the jerk face himself," Sadie said, pointing over to the left side of the stage, "Frederique Jonathan Hitswell."
A large percentage of the women in the audience were loudly cheering for Frederique as he walked onto the stage, though Sadie herself was booing, though being drowned out by the audience. Frederique himself looked nervous as he took his seat where Candice and Bridgette were, who had moved over, with Walter walking up to the top row.
"Can I get your autograph?" Katie exclaimed, passing a pad and paper to Frederique.
"Uh, sure, I guess," Frederique said, signing his name to Katie's notepad.
"I don't know why you want that jerk face's autograph," Sadie complained. "He's a jerk face!"
"Can you stop calling me that?" Frederique asked.
"Can you stop being a big ol' dumb jerk face?" Sadie asked.
"I didn't know what to do, OK?" Frederique said, annoyed. "I never said I was interested in Xuxa. She just took it upon herself to stalk me."
"You only didn't like her because she was fat!" Sadie yelled, on the verge of tears. "There is nothing wrong with fat girls!" Sadie stood up and slapped Frederique across the face.
Frederique rubbed his face where Sadie slapped him, and had left a mark. "That hurt."
"Um, duh, it was supposed to," Sadie said, rolling her eyes.
"I didn't want Rachel either," Frederique said.
"Well, she's mean, so that's OK, but what did poor Xuxa ever do to you?" Sadie yelled.
"She wouldn't leave me alone!" Frederique shouted, getting irritated. "She just wouldn't leave me be!"
"You didn't deserve it!" Sadie yelled, getting angry. "How dare you think fat people are beneath you! Well, guess what? You're nothing special yourself!"
"OK, stop that already!" Frederique shouted.
Sadie put her finger to her lip, then shook her head. "No, I don't think I will."
"You were kind of a jerk," Candice said. "Xuxa seems nice enough. It's kind of mean to shove her away just because she's slightly overweight."
"Slightly?" Walter asked.
Candice poked Walter's belly. "You're a lot fatter than she is."
"Which is why, fortunately for me, I have other admirable qualities besides looks to be admired for," Walter said. Candice motioned gagging, at which Bridgette giggled slightly.
"I kind of have to agree with almost everyone else," Noah said. "You did treat Xuxa badly."
"Noah, she was torturing the poor guy," Katie said, a bit irritated, then walked over to Frederique, and started rubbing herself all over him. "Don't listen to them. They're meanie heads."
"Could you stop touching me?" Frederique asked.
"Oh, sorry," Katie said, looking a bit guilty as she backed into her seat.
"You're gay, aren't you?" Walter asked.
"My girlfriend would disagree," Frederique said.
Sadie blinked, a bit confused. "You already had a girlfriend?"
"Yes," Frederique said. "Such a wonderful, beautiful girl, and I really didn't want to mention her."
"Because she doesn't exist?" Sadie asked, rolling her eyes.
"No, because she really didn't want the international attention," Frederique said. "Seriously, you pick twenty-five teenagers to be on this show, and it doesn't occur to anyone that there's a slight, slight chance that one of them might already be going out with someone?"
Noah started tapping his chin. "In retrospect, I suppose it was highly unlikely as it was that all twenty-two of us from the first season just so happened to be single."
"How do we know you're not making her up?" Sadie asked.
Frederique sighed. "Her name is Riley Kay. She goes to the same school I do. You can go and ask her yourself, but she really wanted to keep a low profile."
"Maybe you should've not mentioned her name on this show, then," Katie said, then shrugged. "Ah well. One of us will probably remember to bleep that out. Maybe."
"Rachel and Xuxa didn't care that I already had a girlfriend," Frederique said.
"Why didn't you just tell them you had a girlfriend already?" Katie asked.
"It really wasn't any of their business, and I really didn't want this to get out at all," Frederique said.
"Because you didn't want the audience at home to think you were taken, so they'd all think they'd have a chance with you, thus becoming more popular with viewers?" Sadie asked, smirking. Frederique looked down and started twiddling his fingers.
"I said nothing untrue," Frederique said.
"But I'm at least partially right," Sadie said, looking quite pleased with herself.
"I wanted to be popular, yes," Frederique said. "Still, Riley didn't want the attention. I did."
"You mentioned her name again," Sadie said, with a mischievous grin on her face.
"I don't get why everyone wanted me, anyway," Frederique said. "I'm not that interesting."
"You're hot," Katie stated flatly.
"I really don't see it," Frederique said. "I just look ordinary."
"Trust me, you're hot," Katie repeated.
Frederique sighed. "Fine, just to shut you up."
"That wasn't very nice," Sadie said, glaring at Frederique.
"She does talk a lot, though," Frederique said. "I'd really rather just be left alone."
"Yes, because coming onto an internationally popular television reality show just screams 'I don't want attention.'" Noah said.
"Well, I didn't really want this kind of attention," Frederique said. "Just get my name out there, win a million dollars, you know?"
"No, I don't," Sadie said, glaring at Frederique.
"Can we get to the fan mail now?" Frederique asked. "I'd like to get to that."
Katie smiled. "Sounds good to-"
"One more question!" Sadie demanded. "Katrina. What do you think about her?"
"I think Mallory's right about her," Frederique said. "I don't know why Rachel took the blame for her, but really, she sabotaged me just to vote me out! Who does that?"
"Someone who wants to stick up for her friends," Candice said, with her head propped up by the palm of her hand. "I say good for her, really."
"But what about Rachel and Xuxa's treatment of me?" Frederique asked.
"So what?" Candice asked. "You were still a jerk. Rachel and Xuxa weren't very nice, but you weren't either, and frankly, even if they were wrong, I applaud Katrina for standing up for her friends, since, you know, you were wrong, too."
"I'm not going to win this, am I?" Frederique said.
"I still love you!" a girl from the audience yelled.
"I saw him first!" Katie yelled back.
"Aren't you forgetting someone?" Noah asked, irritated.
"I thought you weren't gay," Katie said. "I mean, I know you had that thing with Cody, but Frederique is so much yummier, and-"
"I'm your boyfriend!" Noah shouted, rubbing his forehead.
"Aww, I know," Katie said sweetly, kissing Noah's forehead. "I can still look, though, can't I?" Noah sighed.
"I guess we can get to the fan mail now," Sadie said, looking disgusted. Zoe carried over a huge sack of fan mail, plopping it before Sadie. Sadie took out an envelope, and removed the letter from it. "Abbey says you're hot, blah blah blah." Sadie crumpled the letter into a ball, then threw it behind the couch. Sadie then took another envelope and opened it, removing that letter. "Dick says you're hot, blah blah blah." Sadie crumpled that letter, threw it down to the floor in front of her, then stomped it. "These letters suck!"
"Didn't I explain my side of the story?" Frederique asked.
"You're still a big jerk face," Sadie said, irritated as she took another envelope from the sack, and took the letter out from inside it. "This one I like more! This one's from Heidi. Dear Frederique, you don't look like anything special. You look like you probably think you're all that, but you're not! Really, why do you think you're better than everyone else? Like you're too good for anyone else! Go die in a fire!"
"OK, he may be a jerk and all, but that one was pretty harsh," Candice said.
"Maybe you should just go on to the final guest," Bridgette suggested.
"Hey, we can run this show the way we want!" Sadie insisted.
"Actually, I think Bridgette's idea is good," Katie said, tugging on Sadie's sleeve. "I think you got your point across with Frederique."
"OK," Sadie said, completely cheery in attitude all of a sudden.
"Can I continue sitting here on the bottom?" Candice asked. "I'd like to sit next to Isis."
"Fine with me," Frederique said, as he moved to the top row.
"Our final guest was cruelly voted off, even though she was the only one who did anything productive in the last challenge," Sadie said. "Even though she seems to hate white people."
"She really doesn't," Candice said. "Just give her a chance."
Sadie shrugged. "OK. She was a great player, but a certain spoiled brat was determined to get rid of her, for reasons I don't really get, but here she is, give it up for Isis Ann White!"
Isis smiled bright as she rushed onto the stage, glomping Candice before sitting down next to her. "Hi guys!" Isis turned to Candice, looking serious. "And girl, I'm so, so sorry, those things I said about you, being a slut and all."
"It's OK," Candice said.
"It really isn't," Isis said, holding Candice's hand. "You didn't deserve that, and I turned into the kind of person I hate."
"A white person?" Walter asked.
"OK, can you stop pretending you're Danielle?" Isis asked, irritated. "It's not pretty."
"She just insulted your best friend, Candice," Walter said. "You'd better show Isis what's for."
"Danielle isn't my best friend," Candice said. "Not by a long shot."
"You were talking about how nice and sweet and misunderstood she was earlier," Walter said. "Don't lie in front of Isis."
"I never said those things," Candice said. "I feel bad for her. We aren't friends."
"I can't say I feel bad for her," Isis said.
"Oh, I don't blame you," Candice said. "For some reason, I just do."
Noah spoke up. "Now, this is just a hunch, Isis, so please tell me if I'm mistaken, but for some reason, I get this feeling that you don't like Danielle."
"That's an understatement," Isis said.
"A lot of people don't like Danielle, really," Noah said. "She's beautiful, sure, but she's not particularly pleasant."
"She's not that pretty," Katie said, glaring at Noah.
"Neither is Frederique, but I don't see you trying to hide it," Noah said, raising an eyebrow. Katie turned back around, looking embarrassed.
Isis started answering. "Danielle's a pretty horrible, racist-"
"Do you have to use the r-word?" Katie asked. "I mean, I know she's pretty horrible, but that doesn't mean she's racist. Does it?"
"I don't mean to be too nosy, but what race are you?" Isis asked. "I can't tell, really."
"Oh, I'm white," Katie said. "Just very tanned."
"Then just listen, please," Isis said. "You don't really know what it's like not being white."
"Oh, don't worry," Katie said. "I don't see color! I don't care if someone's white, black, brown, green-"
"No one's green," Isis said.
"I'm just saying what if," Katie said.
"If you really did meet a green person, I promise you'd freak out," Isis said, then chuckled to her self. "I'd even freak out, even though I know I shouldn't."
"But people aren't really green, though, so that doesn't really count," Sadie said.
"That was my point," Isis said. "Green people don't exist. But I do, and it's kind of insulting to be treated like someone's pretending I'm white."
"Please don't argue with her," Candice said, looking worried.
"But Stephanie doesn't seem to care," Katie said.
"I'm not Stephanie," Isis said. "And after last night, I'm worried about her."
"You're not mad that she voted for you instead of Danielle?" Katie asked.
"Well, yeah, I am," Isis said. "Looking back, I almost can't blame her for voting for me."
"I don't get it," Sadie said, looking completely confused.
"I'm a bit outspoken, I admit it," Isis said, smiling. "She's not very outspoken at all about her race, and she seems to prefer to ignore it, hoping it'll go away if she ignores it, and she didn't like that I wasn't ignoring it. I can almost promise you that she notices it, though. I'm sure it's hurting her, even if she doesn't want to admit it."
"So you're not too mad?" Sadie asked.
"Nah," Isis said, waving the question off. "I'd love to talk to her in private, though, girl to girl. Maybe she'd be more comfortable there, instead of letting everything out on international TV. I hope Quincy forgives her if he finds out, though! I still think they'd be so perfect together!"
"What about you and Quincy?" Katie asked. "Why do you want to hook Stephanie up with Quincy, anyway?"
"I couldn't take him away from her," Isis said. "Two girls, one guy, I'd feel selfish if I hogged him all for myself, though to be honest, he is kind of cute!" Isis smiled bright.
"Are there any other guys you might like, then?" Sadie asked. "Ooh, I hope so, because I don't want you to be all alone!"
"Really, I kind of like Frederique," Isis said. "He's pretty hot, but don't worry, I know you have a girlfriend, and I won't bother you about it."
"Thank you," Frederique said.
"What about Ophelia?" Sadie asked. "Do you like her?"
"Well, not in that way," Isis said. "She's a nice girl, though. I feel kind of guilty for getting angry at her before. She's just… different, and there's nothing wrong with that. And I know she's never tried to bother me. She's just got this way of naturally bothering people by accident."
"She was irritating me on purpose!" Leanne yelled.
"You don't count," Isis said, smirking.
"So, why are you racist?" Sadie asked.
"I'm not," Isis said, irritated, rubbing her forehead.
"But isn't that what it is, when you hate someone because you don't like their color?" Sadie asked, confused.
"Not quite," Candice said. "See, black people aren't exactly known for oppressing us."
"That's just their long term goal," Walter said.
"No, it isn't," Candice said, then looked to Isis. "Do you want to take over? I mean, you know the topic better than I do."
"Thanks," Isis said. "And that's ridiculous. I don't want to oppress anyone! I just want to be treated fairly."
"You want special treatment," Walter said. "Just admit it."
Isis rubbed her forehead in frustration. "No. I really don't. I just want to be treated fairly, and I'm not."
Katie started to speak up. "But most-"
"Please just listen, and don't interrupt," Candice said. "She needs this."
"I used to think we were already equal, really," Isis said. "But then I got older, and slowly realized everything surrounding me. The white girls who'd always try to get me in trouble, saying I was calling them names and stabbing them with pencils. And naturally, the teacher would believe them, because they pretended to be all innocent and white." Isis laughed at herself for a moment. "Well, they weren't pretending to be white, exactly, but… oh, you know what I meant. It wasn't an isolated incident, and it wasn't just me: the white people segregated themselves away from us, and me and my friends banded together because, well, we had to. No one else was there for us." Isis started crying; Bridgette took out a tissue for her to use. "I was always nice and bubbly, but the white girls didn't all like it. Apparently, they decided they'd look better if they had a token black friend, and I wasn't having it. So they decided to get me in more trouble, to teach me my place-which I was already well aware of, anyway-but it wasn't just them. The adults didn't like me in their white suburbia. They wanted me in the inner city, where apparently I belonged. The adults were careful, though. They were watching me like a hawk, trying to find a reason to kick me out, and they often did." Isis rolled her eyes, still crying. "Not that they really needed a reason, since the police would never believe a supposed teenaged troublemaker, anyway. And being so tall just makes me look more intimidating, so of course, I had to be the troublemaker!"
Isis blew her nose into the tissue, and Bridgette handed her another one. "I didn't start anything, though. The girls would pick fights with me, though, and since everyone already thought I was some bully, they were always believed, and I'd be punished, fined, jailed, whatever, so much as it even looked like I touched them, and I'll be honest, I did fight back. And I shouldn't have been punished for defending myself, but I was. And most recently, with a videotape they put together…" Isis trailed off, and started sobbing in her hands. "I don't know what I'm going to do." Candice was crying as well, and hugged her gently.
"You don't deserve it, you know," Candice said.
"Thank you," Isis answered.
"Well, if they have a videotape that proves you're lying-" Walter started, but was quickly shut up by Isis' elbow to his balls, causing him to fall off the seat to the ground.
"I wasn't even there!" Isis yelled. "Video manipulation is scary. Even scarier that we can't trust videotape anymore. They edited me into the video with their rich white girl technology, and they're trying to use it to get me sent away for a long time, and I don't know what to do!"
"Computers can't do that!" Leanne yelled. "Just admit you're a lousy, no-good thug!"
Candice turned around to glare at Leanne, then elbowed him in the balls, which he immediately clutched before falling to the floor, and then Candice started dusting off her hands. "Guess he's a boy after all."
"Actually, it hurts a lot when we get hit there too," Katie said, then shuddered. "Believe me."
"Oh, I know," Candice said. "It was a joke. One that I guess fell flat."
"Well I liked it!" Sadie exclaimed, looking fierce, making a fist.
"And yes, computers can do that," Noah said. "Though in order to create such a convincing videotape, that would require some serious high-tech."
"One of the girls is unbelievably rich, so I guess that fits," Isis said.
Candice put her hand on Isis' shoulder. "I have no idea how I can help, but I'll do whatever I can."
"Thanks," Isis said, tearing up as she smiled back at Candice, and the two hugged each other.
"So because of a few white jerks, that makes the rest of us evil, too?" Walter asked. "And you think we're the racist ones?"
"Yes," Isis stated. "First of all, I don't hate you all." Isis glomped Candice, who smiled, though looked uncomfortable. "Candice is one of the best people I could ever hope to meet! But really, after all white people do to me, can you really blame me for being a little wary?"
"But we're not-oh yeah, shutting up," Katie said, motioning her mouth as if she were zipping it.
"Thank you," Isis said. "Just try see it from my point, and don't complain how horrible a person I am."
"But if you were white and they were black-" Walter started.
"That doesn't happen in reality!" Isis yelled. "Seriously, what world are you living in where black people have that kind of power over white people? Seriously, we don't! You live in a world where you can choose to be nice to us. Or you can choose not to without much repercussions. I live in a world where if I don't toe the line with what white people want, they can make me live to regret it, and that's the real double standard here!"
Katie sniffled. "I'm sorry I said things that bothered you. I just… well, it's not really something I understand very well."
"Just try," Isis said. "That's all I can ask."
"I will," Katie said. "I don't want you to have to be miserable because I said something stupid."
"Me neither," Sadie said. "I'm really bad with saying stupid things, though."
"Thank you," Isis said. "Just please don't be insulted if I'm a little uncomfortable talking to you guys about certain things." Isis turned to Candice. "Well, except you. You're a really good listener."
"Well I know what… well, I don't. But I know what it's like to be thought of as worthless, even if my life seems so privileged next to yours." Candice giggled a bit, followed by Isis.
"Not your fault you live a princess' life," Isis said, smirking. The two girls hugged each other again.
"Would you like to hear some fan mail?" Sadie asked.
"Has the show even started airing yet?" Isis asked, confused.
"No, but short blurbs and your pictures are up on the website, and a lot of people wrote in already," Sadie said, while Zoe handed her a medium-small sack of letters. Sadie took one of the envelopes out of the sack, then pulled out the letter inside. "This one's from Katie-eeeiii, I love her name!" Sadie squeed.
"No way!" Katie exclaimed, looking over Sadie's shoulder, then squeeing herself upon seeing her name. "That's like so awesome!"
"I know!" Sadie exclaimed. "Eeeiii!"
"What's the letter say?" Isis asked, interested.
"Dear Isis, I can't believe they'd let you on the show! That videotape of you setting the girl on fire's been leaked on Youtube, and you deserve to fry!" Sadie shuddered as she dropped the letter, then looked at it. "I wish I knew how to set fire to those things like Izzy did, without catching the rest of the set on fire."
"Maybe Walter will eat it?" Katie asked.
"No," Walter stated flatly. Katie shrugged, then started crumpling the letter into a ball.
"Not the first time I've heard that, and it probably won't be the last," Isis said. "Glad Canada doesn't have the death penalty. Not that they'd have ever used it for what I'm being accused of, anyway."
"Well, here's another letter," Sadie said. "This one's from Endora."
Isis shuddered upon hearing the name. "By any chance, would that be Endora Stephens?"
"With a p-h instead of a v, yes," Sadie said, looking a bit freaked out.
"I don't want to hear the letter," Isis said, looking clearly upset.
"This one's actually pretty nice," Sadie said, reading the letter to herself.
"I don't want to hear it!" Isis demanded. Sadie nervously folded the letter and put it in her back pocket. She then took another envelope from the sack, and took out the letter inside. "Well, this one's pretty nice, too, but I still think the other one was nicer," Sadie said. "Do you know any Ambers?"
Isis rubbed her forehead in frustration. "I know an Amber Benz, please tell me, dear God, that it's not Amber Manthey!"
"No, it's Amber Benz."
"Oh, well, that's OK, then," Isis said, calming down pretty quickly. "I don't know her."
Sadie started reading the letter. "Dear Isis, you sound like you'll be really cool, and you're pretty, too! I wish I were tall like you, instead of being under five feet tall. I hope everything goes all right with that video thing-there's just something off about it. From one sister to another, peace!"
Isis was smiling bright, hugging herself. "Can I keep that one? I'd love to write back to her!"
"Sure!" Sadie exclaimed.
"Do we have any eight by ten glossies?" Isis asked, smirking. "Sure she'd love a signed photo."
"We can check," Sadie said, smiling bright. "And that was our final guest, so I suppose our show is just about over-"
"Bye!" Leanne and Walter instantly shouted in unison. Leanne quickly bolted from the studio, while Walter lethargically walked out.
"The show was just almost over, not over over," Katie said, shaking her head.
"Do you really want to argue with them over it," Noah said.
Katie smirked. "Good point."
"Well, that's all of our guests for tonight," Sadie said. "Tune in next time, when we'll have six more unfortunate contestants join us for another little chat. Until next time, I'm Sadie-"
"And I'm Katie!" Katie exclaimed. Noah was just sitting on the sofa, though, until Katie, in frustration, elbowed him.
"Ow," Noah said, rubbing his arm. "I'm Noah."
"You forgot the 'and,'" Katie said.
"Don't worry about it," Sadie said. "Tune in again for another edition of Total Drama Sadie and Katie-and I'm sorry, Katie, but I didn't want to leave your name out of it, even if that's not the official name. Until next time, stay cool!"
The lights went dim, and the studio audience slowly exited the studio. "Good show, for the most part," Katie said. "You did a great job, Sadie."
"Thank you," Sadie said. "I was totally nervous. You think everyone at home's going to like me?"
"Not counting Chris-and let's face it, he doesn't count-yes," Katie said, smiling as she put her hand on Sadie's shoulder.
"Can I get back to my computer game?" Noah asked.
"Only if I can play with you," Katie said, batting her eyelashes at Noah, who cringed.
"But the last time we played, you kept killing our own team repeatedly," Noah said, rubbing his forehead.
"Think Courtney's still mad about that?" Katie asked, looking guilty, twiddling her thumbs.
Noah sighed. "Let's just do it. Just… try not to kill me this time?"
Katie nodded. "Right!" Katie, Noah, and Sadie left the room, as well as Frederique, leaving Candice, Bridgette and Isis alone.
"Hey, Isis," Candice said, smiling, "you want to hang with me and Bridgette for a while?"
Isis looked nervous. "You really like Bridgette, don't you?"
"She's like my idol," Candice said, smiling bright.
"I promise not to speak over you," Bridgette said, smiling.
Isis looked Bridgette over for a moment, then glomped her. "If Candice trusts you, I trust you!" Isis started walking out the room with Candice and Bridgette. "What were we going to do anyway? Is there a McDonald's around here?"
"No!" Bridgette shouted. "No McDonald's, not ever!"
Isis laughed it off. "OK, we can do something else. You girls like playing basketball?" Candice smiled bright, while Bridgette looked a bit more nervous.