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Chapter XIII
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The death of the wolf
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Odette looked at the city through her window, she lived in the upper rooms of Madame Le Haut´s restaurant where she was no longer a wolfmaid, only one of dozens of waitresses clad in black taffeta and a white doily apron.
Madame Le Haut was a young but cruel woman, sneaky, devious and false but she could handle her. So far, the lady had failed to notice her and only threw piercing looks at her whenever she came back from her rehearsals. That day, when she´d announced she´d be dancing the black swan´s part for the Swan Lake to the other girls, she felt her vicious glance fix on her.
-I don´t care, there´s nothing she can really do except firing me- she said to herself as she finished her ballerina bun, pinning it in place.
But truth was she wasn´t so sure… disturbing tales on how Madame Régine had put her husband out of the way and have full access to the widow´s dowry filled the restaurant´s kitchen and corridors, things like the late owner of the Le Haut´s fortune had been murdered, poisoned by his wife with nightshade berries, stabbed by a hired thief in a back alley, or even that the merciful odorless arsenic had done the job. If one believed the rumors was of no consequence; murderous or not Madame Le Haut was ruthless with whomever dared to cross her.
On the debut night, she went out through the back door, where the scullery maid glanced at her with a severe look, despising her for not spending the entire day in the restaurant, but Odette shrugged and walked past.
It was not the scorn of the many that left her confused and vulnerable, but the kindness of the few, specially the kindness of the ballet master given with that dark hazel bliss and wise countenance. How was she supposed to protect herself from him?
The way he´d looked at her before he left was… it had been… she couldn´t put her finger on it, the void her mother left in her life was now more visible than ever, maybe if she´d been around, she could´ve helped Odette to put her frozen ice walls up again.
"A maid has to be mistrustful in this world, or she will not be a maid for long" she thought, as a light morning rain began to fall.
Monsieur Kerloff asked how she felt that day, if she´d slept well and practiced hard.
-I´m good sir, I thank you.
Kerloff looked at her the way a grandfather would´ve looked at his own kin. He only had a son, and he had sailed for the New World long ago, news were scarce and seldom arrived, so Kerloff had gotten used to the fact he´d never see his son again.
But weird as it was, there was something in Odette´s eyes which reminded him of his lost son, maybe the melancholy or the sadness in them turning from blue to purple to gray in an instant.
-Very well then, this is the time sheet, follow it to the letter and you should be fresh and rested for the function.
In the meantime, he would discuss those wretched gas lamps which many of the dancers had already complained about for being too bright and too hot, Vacourbeil would have to either change them or put them in a different place, Monsieur Eiffel and his novelties be damned.
He abandoned the backstage room and left Odette with two theater maids in charge of getting her ready.
The young ballerina looked at her reflection in the boudoir mirror, her chocolate waves combed in a classic ballerina bun, atop her head was the beautiful crown that glowed now in candlelight with haunting charm; her face and arms were powdered, her neck perfumed and her lips were colored dark plum to contrast the black swan´s sensuality against the white´s purity.
But the most beautiful part of her attire was the costume: black feathers cascaded down her legs, all in different lengths and non-starched as per her request so the barbules waved in the wind with mesmerizing motion. Odette thanked the maids and saw them out of the room.
"Mérante hasn´t probably come back yet" she thought with a bit of disappointment, she hoped the young man could see her debut. She tried and failed to think of a different thing whilst repeating the black swan´s choreography for the hundredth time that night. Unbeknownst to her, the theater´s costume designer Pierre Noirblanc, was just outside the room waiting for the young woman to be alone and once he was sure no one was around, he knocked on the door.
-Come in- the mere sound of her voice was enough to have his knees trembling, but he kept his countenance serious and entered the room.
She was beautiful as usual, wild and rare like a river out of control.
-Yes, Monsieur Noirbl-?
He covered her mouth with his palm.
-Listen girl, once a ballerina reaches a certain status, she has to give something in exchange, her-
Noirblanc couldn´t finish the sentence when Odette fought back, kicking his stomach with her knee. But the man managed to grab her leg and knocked her to the ground and as his hand closed around her throat, she was forced to listen to him while looking at his yellowy glazed pupils, dilated by desire and adrenaline.
-As I was saying, every ballerina must give something up in exchange of position, heck even D´Autrelle slept with one or two sponsors. This is the world you´re coming in to so stop looking at me like that girl; I have no wish for your heart, but your maidenhead will do- he said, spitting on the floor and grabbing her hips in a way Odette found completely revolting.
-It´s a good thing you sent Mérante away, else I wouldn´t have been able to find a moment and talk about business- he whispered, his voice sibilant and disgusting –See you after the function, don´t bother trying to run or hide. I know where you live, I know where you work. Either you cooperate or I´ll make sure your life as a prima becomes a living nightmare.
He left the room while his last word echoed in Odette´s mind
She sat on the floor and looked at the door, its polished surface reflecting the black dress.
Her mind was blank, if it was because of anger or terror she could not have said. A bitter sensation in her gut told her she was about to throw up; so she got up and drank a cup of the wine the maids had left her to prevent stage fright, but as she lifted her face to look at her eyes in the mirror, she saw the last light in them die out, their purple extinguished leaving nothing in them but gray, gray, gray.
-I can´t escape.
She said it aloud to either make it real or make it a lie, but it was real… It always was.
Her neck, red with the markings of his grasp, was a mute reminder of his words "This is the world you´re coming in to"
Mérante had never said a thing about anything of the sort, then again Mérante was a man whose lastname was known and respected. What can a man ever know about the trials and wails of a lone woman living in the world? Much less a poor orphan girl.
-If I cannot escape, I´ll make him pay.
When she was a young sweet summer girl, she remembered longing for the cold winds of autumn. Now that she was no more than a winter rose with a dragon and an agonizing wolf, she longed for… for what?
All her life, she tried to be good and dutiful like her parents before her, but they had died anyway just as she was hours away before being abused herself.
She was a piece of ice that had been through hell, thinking about it Hugo had once told her:
-Never smile at a hearth little one, I fear you when you do that.
But in that moment, Odette remembered her childhood fire, the fire where her dragon was born… and she smiled.
A smile that was more like a grin, she grabbed then a blue rose from the bouquets and crushed it, squeezing it between her fingers. She had no idea how she was going to make Noirblanc regret this night, but he would… he fulfilled Apolline´s favorite saying to perfection.
"Men are always willing to believe two things about a woman darling. One: that she is weak, and two: that she finds him attractive"
The powerful had always preyed on the powerless, that´s how they got powerful in the first place and yet she refused to victimize herself because, for those who value survival, sentimentality is not an option.
Odette powdered her neck to cover the forming bruises, Mérante had once told her she was better off looking into the abyss of change to discover if she could fly. So, she set about to leap.
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Kerloff muttered some of his best curse words for Vacourbeil until the director was too confronted to pretend everything was fine.
-The light is in the most becoming angle for the ballerinas, being yourself a teacher of our next prodigy, you should worry about things like this Kerloff!
-The one thing I worry about is that they´ll be in for roasting Vacourbeil! Either you move them or I will.
-Calm yourself Kerloff, you will do no such thing, I already ordered maintenance to relocate them to suit the demands you made last week.
-You better…
-I did, now you old Russian bear, go and enjoy yourself.
What they didn´t know was that Vacourbeil´s petition to move the gas lamps had fallen on deaf ears, the men responsible forgot to do it and their negligence costed dear to the whole city.
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Odette danced as she remembered she should, her fear and anxiety made her moves more passionate, her anger for being a woman that couldn´t overpower a man gave them a graceful bestiality and her longing for Mérante´s company elevated her dance to another world.
Her audience could not keep their eyes off her figure nor bring themselves to clap after her first performance out of fear of evaporating the malevolent seducing magic she casted. She had just conquered the prima ballerina crown for herself, she was sure… but still, she could see Noirblanc´s silhouette from the corner of her eye.
She pirouetted and turned; the fascination had captured the hearts of the public and the magnificence of the music filled her core until it made her imagine Mérante was dancing with her.
In that moment, he was more real to her than the wooden boards of the stage, she could recall his every feature, the color of his eyes and the shape of his nose, how his voice had that heart pulling yearning when he said her name and how his gaze had told her how much she meant for him before he left. How could he have-? He had taken her heart out of her grasp when she had encased it in icy crystal, he had given her a loving queenship over his heart when she had tossed it aside, like that old folktale of a lost starmaiden who had fallen on earth when there were still dragons flying in the skies and mermaids swimming in the rivers.
She saw the ladies of the audience looking at her with moonlight in their eyes and spring promises in their lips.
"They are children" Odette thought "They all are silly little girls pretending to be women already. They´ve never seen what the world can do, they know nothing" Their dreams were like glossy silver painting in watercolor, shiny and clear; full of songs and stories just like hers had been before fire had burned her parents to ash and a lusty man turned her only aim into ingenuity. Looking at the girls again, Odette pitied them. Odette envied them.
The wolf snarled at the dragon trying to break free of its grasp but the gigantic beast surrounded it with its wings, loving and hating at the same time.
Odette saw herself thrown into a fight where either result was equally disastrous. To the people in the audience, she was another dancer, soon to be prima but just another well accomplished ballerina; to Noirblanc, a piece of meat reserved for his pleasure, and to herself… she was…she was…
"I am a wolf"
The tiger and the lion may be more powerful, but the wolf does not perform in a circus.
"I won´t yield to him. Not now, not ever"
When the intermezzo finished she made sure to walk past Noirblanc, busy pretending to adjust the ballerina´s costumes.
-I will not let you do it- she announced in front of everyone, the coryphées, the theater attendants, the instructors and some musicians at the back of the stage, -Even if you submit me, the shame will be yours to carry not mine; if you ever come too close to me I´ll make sure you regret it.
Everyone stared at Noirblanc whose face became pale and then red.
-I have no idea what mademoiselle is talking about.
-Strange, you seemed to know extremely well earlier when you snuck up on me.
-Mademoiselle, I assure you I-
-I have warned you, that´s what I came here for.
The young ballerina walked away and he was left to deal with the scandalized looks of the theater folk.
"We´ll see who regrets this first, girl" he babbled.
When the ballerina went on stage that night, his mind was full of anticipation but now it was full of hate. In fact, Noirblanc felt like Odette owed him for exposing him like that, blind as he was by rage he could not think in the long term. He only saw her, dancing in the stage light and imagined how he could assault her on her way home; but something in the way she had looked at him during the argument had reached his brain, it was cold and hard like the stab of a steel blade and as such, he wondered if she hid some sort of dagger beneath her skirts for protection; hot liquid wrath slid through his back making him clench his hands into fists.
Noirblanc would make her pay for the humiliation, she´d pay for it dearly and as he studied the wooden structure of the stage, he smiled knowingly… men would believe anything from a knowing smile if you let them, she´d pay for it in fire and sorrow.
Slowly, he descended the stairs under the stage, people coming in and out during functions was normal and nobody thought ill of him because no one in there saw the revealing exchange between him and the ballerina dancing on top of them. The tubes and installation of the gas lights was new and the staff made sure everyone knew how dangerous it was to manipulate the valves with no previous authorization. The calcium oxide could flow out too quickly for the glass bulb to handle it, causing the flame inside to outburst and blow up… which was exactly what Noirblanc expected.
"A bit of roasting will warm up your temper girl" he thought as he used both hands to turn the middle valves completely to the right.
Small unforeseen hassle was that the scene on stage was being performed in the midst of a forest, there were dozens of ballerinas by the time Noirblanc came next to the valves and blind to anything that was not revenge, he failed to realize most of the theater props were made of wood, bone dry and perfect for flames to spread.
As unforeseeable as it could be for everyone on top, both glass bulbs exploded and the amount of gas flowing blew off the rest, tongues of fire were sent licking at the trees and the wood of the fantasy forest; the starched feathers in the coryphées dresses became magnets for the heat and soon they were set ablaze as well. Some tore off their costume exposing skin and knickers for the world to see, not that the world cared.
The walls cracked as the fire intensified since the gas, its source, kept flowing freely. The people in the audience covered their mouth and fled the flames and the smoke. Winter outside welcomed in its white cold arms those who escaped and its snow became a distant memory for those who were slowly realizing they were trapped inside, for the calefaction system in the building had been modernized as well to work on a mixture of hydrogen and the same calcium oxide of the lamps, a highly flammable substance coupled with an enclosing fire advancing a bit too quickly made it impossible for the Opera House to be evacuated in time.
In the back, swarms of people ran away from the main stage, their powerful stumps damaged the floor causing oxygen to leak into the broken pipelines… thirty seconds and the whole damned thing would blast off.
When she saw the flames, Odette could do little but freeze, her childhood ghost clasped her head as the dragon grinned. She no longer had to go and avoid hell, it was already there.
She had known long ago that fire would forever be stamped in her memory, hot and yellow and red and as destroying as a beast out of control, it was little but a cruel jest of fate to trap her in flames where she felt safest, the one place in the world she was most vulnerable and where she had felt the horrors from her girlhood fly away only to be brought back in all force, as brute as if someone had just smashed her skull with a rock.
Someone struck her.
-Odette!- said a terrified girl, Odette recognized her as the girl that played the white swan, her skin was hot and her hair was half gone, -We have to get out of here!
The wolf in Odette´s mind howled, the dragon walking around it in circles fluttering its bat like wings in slow cadency, so much so it looked lazy.
A quiet hissing sounded in the underside of the wooden boards.
-It´s the gas!
-Run! Run!
A fireguard grabbed her from the waist and threw her against the back wall just in time before the floor of the stage came crashing down, the air was already so thick and hot her lungs started to feel too big for her chest, there was a gnawing sensation in her right leg but as she went through the wooden wall, it was replaced by a sense of being stabbed.
-On your feet woman! Get out of here!- said someone.
She tried to stand the way a dying wolf would, but the pain in her side became so sharp it sent her back to the floor; a hot wet substance was forming a pool around her and Odette looked at it absent mindedly.
It was blood.
She opened her mouth and then closed it, so this was it. She glanced at her body for the first time since the fire had started and was able to evaluate the damages, she studied her injuries being anything but afraid because truth be told she had never been scared of death; she´d fought it many times in her life and came to defeat winter itself, so much and so hard she came to own it, a "snow maid" some called her along with other things. Her one true fear was to be alone and that fear also died when she truly was left alone after Orlenna and Philippe, Hugo and Apolline and even Mérante had to leave.
The pain in her leg was because her long costume had caught fire at some point and had fused the feathers and her tights into her flesh; the pain in her side came not from a splinter, but more like a sharp chunk of wood had pierced it.
"Must have been when I went through the wall" she thought as calmly as if she had been reading the news, yet her wolf still found the strength to show its teeth to the dragon. Odette grabbed her skirt and the upper part of her tights and tore them off her, she looked up and screamed as she had never screamed before, the effort causing the wood chunk to penetrate in her side even further, after that she laid there and closed her eyes, trying to rest before attempting to get up again. A burnt smell of plants reached her, so Odette opened her lids once more; blue rose petals flew all around her, raising up against the moon.
"Wait… the moon?"
There was a crack on the dome.
-It´s going to collapse!
-Run!
She examined where she was and realized she´d never make it.
She´d die there, if it was because of the dome crushing her body or her body losing too much blood, she´d never know and it seemed stupid to ask herself for the cause of death when she´d be dead anyway.
But, when she awoke to the notion of what she´d done to herself by tearing off the cloth from her leg, she cared no longer if she died… In fact, she preferred it.
Because she´ll never would be able to dance again.
And it was in that moment when all her hopes faded, all her dreams died and the whole thing overthrew her. In that moment the dragon flung itself against the wolf and held it by its spine, lashing its monstrous head from one side to the other so hard Odette knew the wolf was dead. After that, the dragon threw the shaggy corpse to the side as it opened its huge wings, roaring to the winter moon… Odette closed her eyes as the dragon´s bellows from her imagination melted with the breaking of the dome above her; when the gravel started to fall on her, the fire beast took flight and abandoned her only with the lifeless form of the wolf.
She relaxed when she felt the cold of death approaching her and she was curiously at peace. In the end, the dragon and the wolf had also left her.
Hi there!
This chapter is speacially dedicated to YOU.
Yes, to you who made it possible through your reviews, your F&F click, to you who read it from beginning to end and still had hopes for me to retake it. You gouys know how important it is for a fanfiction writer to receive reviews because they´re the payment to the love and work we put into this.
So, to all of you. A big kiss and a big thank you!
Lots of love,
PrimaScrittura
These are my replies to the reviewers with no accounts ;)
Jou I am having a great week thank you haha. I hope you like this one as well
Guest I am very happy to give you this, I want you to know you were one of the reasons this new chapter is here; I truly wish all the best and I hope you can continue giving me your opinion in this new chapter of my favorite cgi couple!
ALoyalReader It is my pleasure to present you with this. The faith you gave me to continue where most important, pls never forget that ;)
Stellar Lights Thank you haha, probs are it was a mistake coz I was really thinking hard on the converstaion between them to put attention to the other things. I´ll correct it later. It´s a headcanon that I can confirm is a canon hahahaha, I´m so glad it´s something the people reading the story can see and it´s not my imagination, but yesssss Odette is ice and snow because of the fire in her childhood traumatized her. I´m fine with the correcting thing, but I tried it twice before (with different followers) and it din´t really work out because of time diffrences and because we don´t do this for a living so it´s natural the follow up is not that great, and I´d really like that if you plan to copypaste my story somewhere, you´d just let me know and quote my name as an author of the fic. And anyway, I´d like you to still give me your opinion on this one as well ;)
Lots, lots of love to everyone!