Disclaimer: I disclaim that this Hetalia does not belong to me! Disclaiming is my middle name! Disclaiming and I are like hamburgers and buns or ramen and chopsticks or pasta and tomatoes or... This is all food, isn't it?

Chapter Twelve: Scary Canucks!

After knocking out a frantic France with her awesome pony, America turned to her brother/father-thingy and smirked.

"Was that awesome or was that awesome?" America asked a shocked England, who simply stared in shock. America laughed boisterously, "I'll take that as a HELL YEAH!"

Finally regaining his sense, England grabbed America's hands and smacked the tops of them. America cried out in surprise (not pain because heroines are invincible!) and yelled, "What was that for, Iggy?"

England growled, "You just KNOCKED OUT FRANCE! Do you even think about what you're doing half the time?" America shrugged.

"I dunno," she smirked, "just seemed like fun!" The Brit face-palmed before carrying France bridal-style to the couch, where he dropped her to the furniture. After all, he was a gentleman, but even he wasn't THAT much of a gentleman.

Afterwards, Britain returned to the American, who was now napping on the couch, and smacked her on the forehead. America immediately woke up and clutched her head, letting out a surprised (not scared or hurt; hell nah!) yelp.

"Damn you, Iggmeister!" America growled in her still half-asleep state. England grimaced at his nickname, but quickly recovered when he remembered who would be arriving soon. He began to chuckle darkly, eliciting a shiver from his American sister/daughter what-the bloody-ever.

"Dude," America whined as she flailed lazily on the couch, "stop it! Why are ya laughing? Why?"

Turning sadistically cheerful, England hissed, "Someone's coming to see you...," trailing off menacingly.

"Iggy! Stop it! You're freaking me out!"

"A visitor... Coming to get you..."

"Shit, broham, that's scary! I'm serious!"

"I'm giving away that bloody pony..."

"Dammit... But-"

"They're coming..."

"STOP IT!"

A quiet voice whispered from behind them, "Bonjour, you guys!"

Two identical screams could be heard throughout Europe.

"Man, it's a good thing the Iggman keeps his throat good with all that tea he drinks, or else it would be dead from that girly scream!" America chortled, clutching her aching sides.

England flushed as he sat at the table with the North American twins, "I was simply caught off guard is all! And don't call me Iggy! Besides, your scream was much girlier, America!"

America squinted her blue orbs angrily at England, unguarded by her sudden 20/20 vision, "I AM a girl, England."

Sheepishly, England stood from his spot and chuckled before racing to his basement to begin looking for the cure. Quickly.

Canada turned to his bro- his SISTER with a soft smile lacing his face, "So, America, you know why I'm here, right?"

America cackled, "Of course I do, Canadadia!" Canada sighed as the American continued, "you're here to prank Iggerton!"

"No," Canada replied, rolling his eyes at his sister's idiocy. Really? It wasn't that hard.

"Uh, let me try again! You are here to annoy England with me?"

"Nope!"

"To... Feed my pony with me?"

"No. Wait, wha-"

"Hugs?"

"No."

"To prank France?"

"Non!"

"Because you love your sister?"

"Of course not!" America frowned at this, but Canada stayed oblivious to her annoyance, "I'm here to help you with your... Little proble-"

"No!" America interrupted the quiet man's sentence, "no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-"

"You done?" Canada asked, an unimpressed expression on his face.

"Almost," America replied, "no-no-no-NO! Ok, all done!" Canada sighed. How come whenever England or America or France made a mess of things, he'd always end up cleaning it up? Oh yeah, because he was the only MATURE one in this family!

"I'm going to help you, whether you like it or not!" Canada yelled in his soft voice. America winced at his tone; even though she could barely hear him, she still remembered that three hour long insult rant he had given her. She shivered at the thought. Scary...

And five hours later, when England came downstairs to his daughter/ sister/ goddammit-let's-just-call-her-his-former-charge, wearing a red, white, and blue bikini top with a brown vest, short-shorts, and cowgirl boots- you can bet he found Canadia to be pretty scary too.

"Eh, America?"

"Yes, my passive-aggressive twin brother?"

"...I took a picture of you that will be used for future blackmail, FYI."

"...God, I hate you, Canadada."

"Love ya too, sis. Love ya too, eh..."

Yep, scariest creature on the planet. But damn, does he make good pancakes!

A/N: FINALLY! I have been waiting this whole story to put Canada in! Thank the maple gods that I was able to get that offa my chest!

Next is: Russia and Belarus (and some other poor, unfortunate soul? Possibly...)

BTW, I finish these chapters really early on so that it is less stressful for me, then go back and make changes later! So as I finish this chapter, it is actually 12-ish AM on October 23! There's a derp moment for ya! Happy birthday! If it really is your birthday as you're reading this, then that was totally intentional...

Translations:

Bonjour= Hello (sorta self explanatory, but you know, here ya go anyways...)

Review for your free Gilbird! Yay! Piyo-Piyo! Ok, I'm done.