AUTHOR'S NOTE :)
Hello my lovely readers :)
Once again, I'm sorry for how long this took to upload. I've been really busy, we had tests that I had to study for, and now I'm staying with my sister so time for timing has been limited.
But I'm on my summer holidays now, so hopefully I won't be lazy and I'll write a lot more.
Thank you all for remaining so loyal.
Now to answer some of your reviews.
Arkell26: Ah thank you :) I'll be more careful in the future.
Becney: Thank you so much, thats so lovely :) Those are really good ideas, thank you, I will definitely try and put those into the story.
gmart170: Possibly.. I'm not sure as of yet.
Bpthatsme: That's really lovely, thank you! :)
Keep reviewing guys! Every review helps to motivate me!
Anyway, on with the chapter!
Enjoy!
-Rach ;)
Max's POV
We had expected to have to comb through the Daily Prophet the next morning to find the article Percy had mentioned in his letter. However, the delivery owl had barely cleared the top of the milk jug when Hermione let out a loud gasp and flattened the newspaper to show the rest of us a large picture of Dolores Umbridge, smiling widely and blinking slowly at us from the front page, under the headline. `Ministry Seeks Education Reform, Dolores Umbridge appointed first eer High Inquisitor.'
"What the hell is a High Inquisitor?" I asked, my stomach turning nervously.
Hermione picked up the newspaper and read aloud: "In a surprise move last night, the Ministry of Magic passed a new legislation giving itself an unprecedented level of control at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. `The Minister has been growing uneasy about the going-ons at the school for some time,' says Junior Assistant to the Minister, Peter Weasley."
"Ha! They got his name wrong!" Ron laughed. "Bet he was pleased about that! Ha!"
"Shh Ron, this is serious," Hermione said. She turned her attention back to the article, and continued reading. "`This is not the first time the Minister has used new laws to effect improvements on the school in recent weeks. As recently as 30 August, Educational Decree Number Twenty-Two was passed, to ensure that, in the event of the current Headmaster being unable to find a suitable candidate for a teaching post, the Ministry should elect an appropriate person. `That's how Dolores Umbridge came to be appointed to the teaching staff at Hogwarts," Weasley said last night. `Dumbledore couldn't find anyone so the Minister put Umbridge in, and of course, she has been an immediate success..."'
"She's been a WHAT?" Harry said loudly from beside me.
"Wait, there's more," Hermione said grimly.
"`-an immediate success, totally revolutionising the teaching of Defence Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts, and providing the Minister with feedback on what's happening inside Hogwarts walls. The new position of High Inquisitor is an exciting new phase in the Minister's plan to get with grips with the falling standards of Hogwarts. The Inquisitor will have the power to inspect her fellow teachers and make sure they are coming up to scratch. Professor Umbidge has been offered the position in addition to her teaching post, and we are delighted to announce that she has accepted."
`The Ministry's new actions have received enthusiastic support from parents of the students at Hogwarts.
"`I feel much easier in my mind now that I know Dumbledore is being subjected to fair and objective evaluation," said Mr Lucius Malfoy,41, speaking from his Wiltshire mansion last night. `Many of us with our childrens best interests at heart have been concerned at some of the eccentric decisions Dumbledore has made in the past, and we glad now that the Ministry is keeping an eye on the situation.'
`Among those eccentric decisions are undoubtedly the controversial staff appointments, which have included the employment of werewolf Remus Lupin, half-giant Rubeus Hagrid, and the dangerous ex-Auror Alastar `Mad-Eye' Moody. As well as the dangerous teachers hired by Albus Dumbledore, he has also allowed for the six Bird Children to continue their education at the school, despite being possibly dangerous.'"
"WHAT?"? Iggy shouted. "We're not dangerous! We're the least dangerous bird kids out there!"
"Ig, we're the only bird kids out there," Fang said.
"Oh yeah..."
"I can't believe we got dragged into this stupid article," I muttered. "Is there more?" I asked Hermione.
She grimaced and nodded.
"Fantastic. Keep reading."
"` Rumors abound, of course, that Albus Dumbledore, once Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, is no longer up to the task of managing the prestigious school of Hogwarts.
`I think having a High Inquisitor is the first step towards ensuring that Hogwarts has a headmaster in which we can all trust," a Ministry insider said last night."`
Hermione finished reading, and looked at the rest of us.
"At least now we know how we ended up with Umbridge," I said, blood rushing to my face in anger. "Fudge passed this Educational Decree and forced her on us. And now he's given her power to inspect other teachers, and probably fire them!"
"I can't believe this," Hermione said. She was so angry you could almost see the smoke rising from her ears. "It's completely outrageous!"
"I know it is," Harry said. I saw him looking at his hand, at the words etched into his skin.
But there a grin forming on Ron's face.
"What can you be possibly grinning about right now?" Fang asked.
"Oh, I can't wait to see McGonagall get inspected by Toad Face," he said happily. "Umbridge won't know what hit her."
"Come on, then," Hermione said, folding the newspaper and leaving it on the table. "If she's inspected Binns's class, we don't want to be late..."
But Professor Umbridge wasn't inspecting Binns's class. Our History of Magic class was as boring as ever. She wasn't in Snape's dungeon either when we arrived for double Potions, where my moonstone essay was handed back to me with a large `A' in the corner.
Grinning to myself, I took my usual seat between Harry and Fang.
"I have awarded you the grades you would have received if you handed that up in your O.W.L exam," Snape said with a smirk as he swept around the dungeon handing the essays back to everyone. "This should give you a realistic idea of what to expect in the test."
Snape reached the front of the class and turned on his heel to face the class.
"The general standard of this essay was dreadful. Most of you would have failed had this been your examination. I expect to see a great deal more effort for this weeks essay on the various varieties of venom antidotes, or I shall start handing out detentions to those dunces who get a `D'"
Determined to try and get the potion right, I read the instructions over and over before starting to make a Strengthening Potion. I was relieved to find that my potion was the clear blue it was meant to be, and handed it in a flask to Snape at the end of the class, smirking at his look of surprise.
"Well, that wasn't a bad week, was it?" Hermione said as we climbed the steps from the dungeon and made our way across the Entrance Hall for lunch. "And the homework didn't go too badly, did it?"
The boys kept quiet, staring at their shoes. When they didn't answer, Hermione pressed on, "I mean, all right, I didn't expect the top grade, not if he's marking at O.W.L level, but a pass is quite encouraging at this stage, don't you think?"
The boys still kept quiet.
"Hermione, maybe we should talk about something else.." I said, realising the boys probably didn't pass the essay.
But Hermione didn't hear me. We sat down at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall and she kept talking. "Obviously I would have been thrilled with an `O' but an `E ' will have to do for now I suppose-"
"Hermione," Ron snapped, "if you want to know what grade we got, just ask. Otherwise, stop talking about it."
"I don't- I didn't mean- Well if you want to tell me-"
"I got a `P'," Ron said sharply. "Happy now?"
"That's nothing to be ashamed of, little brother," Fred said, who had just arrived at the table with George and Lee Jordan. They sat down on my right. "Nothing wrong with a good healthy `P'"
"But doesn't `P' stand for...?" Hermione started.
"Poor, yeah," Lee Jordan said. "Still, better than a `D', isn't it? `Dreadful"?'
Harry's face went red. He probably got a `D' off Snape... No wonder he was so quiet...
"So top grade is `O' for Outstanding," Hermione was saying, "and then there's `A'-"
"No, " George corrected her, "then there's `E', for `Exceeds Expectations'. I always thought Fred and I would get an `E' in everything, because we exceeded the teachers expectations by showing up to the tests."
We all roared with laughter, except for Hermione, who kept asking questions. "So after `E', it's `A' for `Acceptable', and that's the last pass grade, isn't it?"
"Yup," Fred said, taking a swing of pumpkin juice.
"Then there's `P' for `Poor'," Ron said, dunking an entire roll into his soup and swallowing it. "And `D' for `Dreadful'".
"And then `T'" George reminded him.
"`T'? Even lower than `D'? What does it stand for?" Hermione asked, looking appalled.
"Troll," George answered.
I grimaced, trying to imagine hiding from Hermione that I had received all `T's in my O.W.L's.
"Have you lot had an inspected lesson yet?" Lee asked.
"Not yet," I said. "Have you?"
"Just before lunch," Fred said. "Charms."
"How did it go?" Iggy asked.
Fred shrugged. "Not too bad. Umbridge just sat in the corner taking notes on a clipboard. You know what Flitwick is like, he treated her like a guest, didn't seem to bother him at all. She didn't say much. She asked Angelina a few questions about what the class is usually like, Angelina told her they were always really good, and that was that."
"Old Flitwick won't get marked down," George said, "he usually gets everyone through their exams alright."
"Who have you this afternoon?" Fred asked Harry.
"Trelawney-"
"A `T' if I ever saw one-"
"With Umbridge herself."
"Well you two better be good and keep your tempers under control today," George said. "Angelina will murder you both if you miss another training."
But we didn't have to wait until Defence Against the Dark Arts to meet Umbridge again. I was pulling out my dream diary in a seat in the very back of the shadowy room when Harry elbowed me, and, looking around, I saw Professor Umbridge emerging from the trapdoor in the floor. The class, which had been chatting merrily, fell silent. The abrupt fall in the noise level made Professor Trelawney, who had been handing out copies of the Dream Oracle, look around.
"Good afternoon, Professor Trelawney," Umbridge said with her wide smile. "You received my note, I trust? Giving the time and date of your inspection?"
Trelawney nodded curtly, and turned her back on Umbridge. I noticed her hands were shaking as she handed out the last few copies of the Dream Oracle. She looked terrified.
Still smiling, Professor Umbridge grasped the back of the nearest armchair and moved it so it was only a few inches behind Trelawney''s chair. She sat down, took a clipboard from her flowery handbag, and looked up expectantly, waiting for the class to begin.
Professor Trelawney pulled her shawls tight around her with trembling hands and surveyed the class through her largely magnified glasses.
"We shall be continuing our study of prophetic dreams today," she said, her voice slightly shaky. "Divide into pairs please, and interpret each others latest night-time visions with the aid of the Oracle."
She made as though to go back to her seat, but when she saw Professor Umbridge sitting so close to it, she veered to the left to where Lavender and Parvarti were already in a deep conversation about their dreams.
I opened my copy of the Oracle, watching Umbridge discretely. She was already making notes on her clipboard. After a few minutes she got to her feet and began to pace the room in Trelawney's wake, listening to her conversations with the students and asking her own questions here and there. I bent my head over my book.
"Harry," I whispered.
"Max," he muttered.
"Think of dream quickly, in case toad face comes over here."
"I did it last time," he protested, "you think of something to tell me."
"Oh I can't think," I muttered, biting my lip. I couldn't remember any dream from the last few nights. "Let's say I dreamed I was... Oh I dunno, drowning in Snape's cauldron."
Harry laughed quietly as he opened his Dream Oracle. "Okay, we have to add your age to the date you had the dream, the number of letters in the subject... would the subject be drowning, cauldron, or Snape?"
I shivered. "I only said it was his cauldron, I didn't dream about Snape! That's just... gross."
He laughed again. The sound gave me butterflies in my stomach...
Forget I ever said that.
"Fine, the subject can be drowning," he said, still smiling.
I glanced behind me. Umbridge was now standing behind Trelawney, making notes while the Divination teacher questioned Neville on his dream diary.
"What night did you supposedly dream this?" Harry asked.
"Uhh... two nights ago," I said. Umbridge and Trelawney were now only a table away from ours, at Iggy and Fang's. Once Trelawney was finished questioning them, Umbridge started asking Trelawney questions.
"How long have you been in this post exactly?" she asked, looking up at Trelawney.
Professor Trelawney scowled at her, and crossed her arms. "Nearly sixteen years," she answered in a deeply resentful tone.
"Quite a long period," Umbridge said, scribbling on her clipboard. "And it was Dumbledore himself that hired you?"
"That's right," Trelawney said shortly.
"And is it true that you are the great-great-granddaughter of the celebrated Seer, Cassandra Trelawney?"
"It is true," Trelawney answered, holding her head up higher.
Umbridge was still scribbling on the clipboard.
"But I think- correct me if I am mistaken- that you are the first seer in your family since Cassandra?"
"These type of things tend to skip generations," Trelawney said.
Umbridge's toadlike smile widened.
"Of course," she said sweetly, making yet another note. "Well, if you could just predict something for me then?"
Trelawney visibly stiffened. "I'm sorry, I don't understand," she said, clutching at her shawl.
"I'd like you to make a prediction for me," Umbridge repeated.
Harry and I weren't the only ones watching and listening from behind our books anymore. Most of the class were staring transfixed at Trelawney as she drew herself up to her full height.
"The Inner Eye does not See on command," she said sharply.
"I see," Umbridge said, grinning as she scribbled more onto her clipboard.
"I-but-but- wait!" Trelawney said suddenly, her voice shaking with anger. "I... I think I do see something... something that concerns you... why, I sense something...something dark... some grave peril..."
Trelawney pointed a shaking finger at Umbridge, who continued to smile blandly at her, eyebrows raised.
"I am afraid... I am afraid that you are in grave danger!" Trelawney finished dramatically.
There was a long pause.
"Right," Umbridge said softly, scribbling on her clipboard once more. "Well, if that's really the best you can do..."
She turned away, leaving Professor Trelawney standing rooted to the spot, her chest heaving.
"This isn't right..." I muttered to Harry.
"You can't do anything.. If you try, you'll just get detention again. I can't see you go through another detention with her..." Harry whispered.
My heart skipped a beat. The nice moment was ruined, however, when Trelawney swooped down on us a few seconds later.
"Well?" she snapped, flicking her fingers under our noses. "Let me see the start you've made on your dream diary."
By the time she had interrupted Harry's dreams at the top of her voice (all of which foretold a gruesome death in Harry's near future-even the ones about eating porridge), I was feeling less sympathetic towards her. All the while, Professor Umbridge stood only a few feet away, shooting me dirty looks throughout the class while writing on her stupid clipboard.
When the bell rang Umbridge descended the silver ladder first, and was waiting for us all when we reached our Defence Against the Dark Arts class ten minutes later. She was humming and smiling to herself when we entered the room. We all told Hermione, who had been in Arithmancy, what had happened in Divination while we took out our Defensive Magical Theory books, but before Hermione could ask any questions, Umbridge called for us to be silent.
"Wands away," she instructed with a smile, and those who had been hopeful enough to take them out, sadly returned them to their bags. "As we finished Chapter One last lesson, I would like you all to turn to page nineteen today and commence `Chapter Two, Common Defensive Theories and their Derivation.' There will be no need to talk."
Still smiling her evil, infuriating smile, she sat down at her desk. The class gave an audible sigh as it turned, as one, to page nineteen. I wondered if there would be enough chapters in the book to keep them reading through all this years lessons, and I was about to check the contents page when I noticed Hermione's hand was in the air again.
Professor Umbridge had noticed too, and it seemed as though she had worked out a strategy for such an occurrence. Instead of trying to pretend she didn't notice Hermione's hand in the air, she got to her feet and walked around the front row of desks until they were face to face, then she bent down and whispered, so the rest of the class couldn't hear, "What is it this time, Miss Granger?"
"I've already read chapter two," Hermione said.
"Well then, proceed to chapter three."
"I've read that too. I've read the whole book."
Professor Umbridge blinked but recovered her poise almost instantly.
"Well then you should be able to tell me what Slinkhard says about counter-jinxes in Chapter Fifteen."
"He says counter-jinxes are improperly named," Hermione said promptly. "He says counter-jinx is just a name people give their jinxes when they want to make them sound more acceptable."
Umbridge raised her eyebrows, and I could tell she was impressed, against her will. I grinned behind my hand.
"But I disagree," Hermione continued.
Umbridge's eyebrows rose a little higher and her gaze became distinctly cooler.
"You disagree?" she repeated.
"Yes, I do," Hermione said, who, unlike Umbridge, was not whispering, but speaking in a clear, carrying voice that had by now attracted the attention of the rest of the class. "Mr Slinkhard doesn't like jinxes, does he? But I think they can be very useful when they're used defensively."
"Oh, you do, do you?" Umbridge said, forgetting to whisper and straightening up. "Well, I'm afraid it is Mr Slinkhard's opinion, and not yours, that matters within the classroom, Miss Granger."
"But-" Hermione began.
"That is enough," Umbridge said. She walked back to the front of the class and stood before us all. "Miss Granger, I am taking five points from Gryffindor house."
There was an outbreak of muttering at this.
"What for?" I said angrily.
"Don't get involved!" Fang hissed at me.
"For disrupting my class with pointless interruptions," Umbridge said smoothly. "I am here to teach you using a Ministry approved method that does not involve inviting students to give their opinions on matters about which they understand very little. Your previous teachers in this subject may have allowed you more licence, but as none of them- with the possible exception of Professor Quirrell, who did at least appear to have restricted himself to age-appropriate subjects- would have passed a Ministry inspection-"
"Oh yeah, Quirrell was a fantastic teacher," I said loudly, "there was just the tiny setback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out the back of his head."
I realised my mistake after I said it.
I stared at Umbridge, waiting for her to say it. Harry reached under the table and squeezed my hand.
The silence in the classroom was one of the loudest I've ever heard. Then-
"I think another week's detentions would do you some good, Miss Ride," Umbridge said, smiling widely.
The cut on the back of my hand had barely healed and, by the following morning, it was bleeding again. I didn't complain during the evenings's detention; I was determined not to give Umbridge any satisfaction; over and over again I wrote I must not speak out of turn and not a sound escaped my lips (which is very difficult for me) though the cut deepened with every letter.
The worst part about of this second week's worth of detention was, just as the twins had predicated, Angelina's reaction. She cornered me in the Great Hall at breakfast on Tuesday morning and shouted at me so loudly that Professor McGonagall came sweeping down upon us from the staff table.
"Miss Johnson, how dare you you make such a racket in the Great Hall! Five points from Gryffindor!"
"But Professor- she's gone and landed himself in detention again-"
"What is this, Ride? Detention from who?" McGonagall said, rounding on me.
"From Professor Umbridge," I said, avoiding McGonagall's eyes.
"Are you telling me," she said, lowering her voice so the group of curious Ravenclaws behind couldn't hear, "that after the warning I gave you and Potter last Monday,you lost your temper in Professor Umbridge's class again?"
"Yeah.." I muttered, speaking to my dirty converse.
"Max, you need to get a hold of yourself! You are heading for serious trouble! Another five points from Gryffindor!"
"But- Professor, please, I'm already being punished enough by her, why do you have to take points as well?" I said, getting angry at the injustice. I considered telling her about the quill and the words cut into my hand... But that would be giving Umbridge the satisfaction, it would be showing weakness. I clutched my left hand and looked up at McGonagall.
"Because detentions do not appear to be having any effect on you whatsoever!" McGongall said tartly. "No, not another word of complaint, Ride. As for you, Miss Johnson, you will confine your screaming matches to the Quidditch pitch in future or risk losing the team captaincy!"
McGonagall strode back to the staff table. Angelina gave me a look of disgust and stalked away. I flung myself down on the Gryffindor bench beside Harry, shaking with anger.
"She took points off Gryffindor because I'm getting my hand cut open every night! How is that fair?"
Underneath the table, Harry took my left hand in his, being mindful of the cuts. "I know, Max. It's not fair, she's bang out of order."
Part of me was delighted that Harry was holding my hand...but the other part wished he would stop doing it. We agreed we wouldn't be together until Voldemort was dealt with...but him doing little things like holding my hand, placing his hand on the small of my back, or around my waist was making it harder and harder to stick with the deal we made.
All thoughts of Harry left my mind when we entered Transfiguration. Professor Umbridge and her clipboard were sitting in a corner and the sight of her drove all romantic ideas from my mind. My heart started hammering in my chest.
Was I afraid of Dolores Umbridge?
No... There's no way I was afraid of that old toad... Right?
"Excellent," Iggy said, grinning as we sat in our usual seats. "Let's see Umbridge get what she deserves."
Professor McGonagall marched into the classroom without giving the slightest indication that she knew Professor Umbridge was there.
"That will do," she said and silence immediately fell. "Mr Martinez, kindly come here and hand back the homework- Miss Brown, please take this box of mice- don't be silly, they can't hurt you- and hand one to each student-"
"Hem hem," Professor Umbridge said, employing the same stupid cough she had used to interrupt Dumbledore's speech on the first night of term. Professor McGonagall ignored her. Seamus handed me back my essay; I took if without glancing at him, and saw a large `E' written in the corner.
"Boo yeah!" I whispered under my breath.
"Right then, everyone listen closely- Iggy Griffiths, if you do that to the mouse one more time, I'll give you detention- most of you have managed to successfully Vanish your snails and even those who were left with a certain amount of shell have got the gist of the spell. Today we shall be-"
"Hem hem," Umbridge said again.
"Yes?" McGonagall said, turning around, her eyebrows so close together they formed one severe straight line.
"I was just wondering, Professor, whether you received my note telling you of the date and time of your inspec-"
"Of course I received it, or else I would have asked you what you were doing in my classroom," Professor McGonagall said, turning her back firmly on Umbridge. Many of the students exchanged looks of glee. "As I was saying: today we shall be practising the altogether more difficult Vanishment of mice. Now, the Vanishing Spell-"
"Hem hem."
"I wonder," McGonagall said in a cold fury, turning on Umbridge, "how do you expect to gain an idea of my usual teaching methods if you continue to interrupt me? You see, I do not generally permit people speaking when I am talking."
Umbridge looked as though she had been slapped in the face. It was brilliant.
Looking supremely unconcerned, McGonagall addressed the class once more. "As I was saying: the Vanishing Spell becomes more difficult with the complexity of the animal to be Vanished. The snail, as an invertebrate, does not present much of a challenge; the mouse, as a mammal offers a much greater one. This is not, therefore, magic you can accomplish with your mind on your dinner. So- you know the incantation, let me see what you can do..."
"How can she lecture me about not losing my temper with Umbridge?" I muttered to Fang under my breath, but I was smiling- my anger at McGonagall was pretty much gone.
Professor Umbridge did not follow McGongall around the classroom as she had followed Trelawney; she probabloy realised she wouldn't permit it. She did, however, take many more notes while sitting in her corner, and when McGonagall finally told us we could pack up, she rose with a grim expression on her face.
"It's a start," Ron said, grinning as he put a wriggling mouse back into the box Lavender was passing around.
As everyone filed out of the classroom, I saw Umbridge approaching McGonagall's desk; I nudged Harry, who nudged Ron, who whispered to the others. The six of us deliberately fell back to eavesdrop.
"How long have you been teaching at Hogwarts?" Umbridge asked.
"Almost forty years," McGonagall said, snapping her bag shut.
Umbridge made a note.
"Very well," she said. "You will receive the results of your inspection in ten days time."
"I can hardly wait," McGonagall said in a cold indifferent voice, and she strode towards the door. "Hurry up, you lot," she added, sweeping the six of us before her.
I couldn't help but give her a faint smile, and I could have sworn I received one in return.
I had thought I wouldn't see Umbridge again until detention that evening, but I was wrong. When we walked down the lawns towards the Forest for Care of Magical Creatures, we found her and her bloody clipboard waiting beside Professor Grubbly-Plank.
"You do not usually take this class, is that correct?" I heard her ask as we arrived at the trestle table where the group of captive Bowtruckles were scrabbling around for woodlice.
"Quite correct," Grubbly-Plank answered, hands behind her back and bouncing on the balls of her feet. "I am a substitute teacher standing in for Professor Hagrid."
I exchanged uneasy looks with the others. Malfoy was whispering with Crabbe and Goyle; he would probably love any chance to tell stories about Hagrid to a member of the Ministry.
"Hmm," Umbridge said, dropping her voice, though I could still hear her quite clearly. "I wonder- the Headmaster seems strangely reluctant to give me any information on the matter- can you tell me what is causing Professor Hagrid's extended leave of absence?"
I saw Malfoy look up eagerly and watch Umbridge and Grubbly-Plank closely.
"`Fraid I can't," Grubbly-Plank said breezily. "Don't know anything more about it than you do. Got an owl from Dumbledore, would I like a few week's teaching work. I accepted. That's as much as I know. Well... shall I get started then?"
"Yes please do," Umbridge said.
Umbridge took a different tact in this class and wandered amongst the students, questioning the students on magical creatures. Most of the class were able to answer reasonably well, and my spirits lifted; at least the class wasn't letting Hagrid down for when he came back.
"Overall," Umbridge said, returning to Grubbly-Plank's side after a lengthy interrogation of Dean Thomas, "how do you, as a temporary member of staff- an objective outsider I suppose you might say- how do you find Hogwarts? Do you feel you receive enough support from school management?"
"Oh yes certainly, Dumbledore's excellent," Grubbly-Plank said heartily. "Yes, I'm very happy with the way things are run here, very happy indeed."
Looking politely incredulous, Umbridge made a tiny note on her clipboard and continued. "And what are you planning on covering with the class for the rest of the year? Assuming Professor Hagrid does not return, of course."
"Oh I'll take them through the creatures that most often come up in O.W.L ," Grubbly Plank. "Not much left to do- they've studied unicorns and Nifflers, I thought we've cover Porlocks and Kneazles, make sure they can recognise Crups and Knarls, you know..."
"Well you definitely seem to know what you are doing, at any rate," Umbridge said, making a very obvious tick on her clipboard. I didn't like the emphasis she put on `you' and I liked it even less when she put her next question to Goyle. "Now, I hear there have been quite a few injuries in this class?"
Goyle gave a stupid grin. Malfoy hastened to answer the question.
"That was me," he said, "I was slashed by a Hippogriff."
"A Hippogriff?" Umbridge said, scribbling frantically.
"Only because he was too much of a dumbass to listen to what Hagrid told him!" I snapped.
The others groaned. Professor Umbridge turned her head slowly in my direction.
"An extra nights detention, I think Miss Ride," she said softly. "Well that you very much, Professor Grubbly-Plank, I think that's all I need here. You will be receiving the results of your inspection within ten days time."
"Jolly good," Grubbly-Plank said, and Umbridge set off back across the lawn towards the castle.
It was almost midnight by the time I left Umbridge's office that night, my hand bleeding so severely that the blood was coming through the scarf I had wrapped around it. I had expected the common room to be empty when I returned, but Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fang and Iggy were still up sitting around the fire. I dropped onto the couch beside Harry, feeling dizzy and woozy.
"Here," Hermione said, looking slightly anxious. She pushed a bowl of yellow liquid towards me, "soak your hand in that, its a solution of strained and pickled Murtlap tentacles, it should help."
I placed my aching, bleeding hand into the bowl, and there was a wonderful feeling of relief. Crookshanks curled around my legs, pouring loudly, then leapt into my lap and settled down.
"Thanks," I muttered, scratching Crookshanks behind the ears with my right hand.
"You look horrible, Max," Fang said. "You're so pale...You need to complain about this."
"No," I said immediately.
"McGonagall would go nuts if she found out-" Ron started.
"I know she would," I said, exhaustion washing over me. "And if I went to tell her, how long do you think it will be before Umbridge passes another decree saying anyone who complains about the High Inquisitor gets sacked or expelled?"
Ron opened his mouth to retort but nothing came out, and after a minute he closed it again, defeated.
"It's horrible," Harry said quietly. "We should try and do something..."
"If you guys try anything, you'll just be stuck in the same situation," I said.
"We've got to do something about her," Hermione said.
"Poison is always a good idea," Iggy said.
"No... I mean something about what a dreadful teacher she is, and how we're not going to learn any Defence from her at all," Hermione said.
"What can we do about that?" Harry said grimly. "It's too late now, she has the job, she's here to stay. Fudge will make sure of that."
"Well..." Hermione said tentatively. "You know, I was thinking today..." she shot me and Harry a slightly nervous look, and then plunged on. "I was thinking that- maybe the time has come when we should just- you know, just do it ourselves."
"Do what ourselves?" I mumbled, barely able to keep my eyes open.
"Learn Defence Against the Dark Arts ourselves," Hermione said.
"Come off it," Ron groaned. "Do you realise you're the only one ahead on homework and it's only the second week? And you want us to do extra work?"
"But this is so much more important than homework!" Hermione said sharply.
We goggled at her.
"I didn't think there was anything more important than homework," Ron said sarcastically.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Of course there is. It's about preparing ourselves, like what Harry said in Umbridge's first class, for what's waiting for us out there. It's about making sure we can defend ourselves. If we don't learn anything for a whole year-"
"We can't do much ourselves," Iggy said. "I mean, all right, we can go and look jinxes up in the library and try to practise them, I suppose-"
"We've gone passed the stage where we can just learn things out of books," Hermione said. "We need a teacher, a proper teacher, who can show us how to use spells and correct us when we're wrong."
"If you're talking about Lupin..." Harry started.
"I'm not," Hermione said. "He's too busy with the Order, and the most we could see him for lessons would be during Hogsmeade weekends, and there aren't nearly enough of them."
"Who, then?" I said, feeling slightly more energised as the cuts on my hand healed and stopped bleeding.
Hermione took a deep breath. "Isn't it obvious?" she said. "I'm talking about you two," she said looking at me and Harry.
There was a long silence.
"About us what?" Harry asked.
"I'm talking you both teaching us Defence Against the Dark Arts. Harry can specialise more in the jinxes and counter-jinxes side of it, and Max will do the martial arts, hand-to-hand combat side of it. And you two can help with that too, and Nudge," Hermione added, looking at Fang and Iggy.
I stared at her. "Are you insane?" I asked.
"It's not a bad idea..." Ron muttered.
"What?" Harry said.
"You guys teaching us how to defend ourselves," Ron said. "It's a good idea."
I shared a look with Harry, grinning. They must have been joking.
"We're not teachers, we can't-"
"You guys are the best at Defence Against the Dark Arts in the year," Hermione said. "And I've seen you guys fighting," she said, looking at the flock. "Learning how to do that stuff would be great. Most wizards don't bother to learn how to fight because they have magic."
"I don't know how to teach that kinda stuff," I said. "Neither of us do! Jeb taught us, we've never taught anyone else."
But Fang and Iggy were nodding, looking happy. "We could manage it," Fang said. "Yeah, it can't be too hard," Iggy said.
"Think of what you guys have done!" Hermione said. "There's no one better than you guys!"
"What'd you mean?" Harry and I said together.
Ron laughed. "You know, I don't think I want people this stupid teaching me." He turned to us.
"Lets think..." he said. "Uh... first-year, you two saved the Philosophers Stone from You-Know-Who."
"That was luck," I said.
"Yeah, it had nothing to do with skill," Harry said.
"Second year, you killed the Basilisk and destroyed Riddle-"
"That was just Harry, I spent the whole time unconscious," I protested.
"And if Fawkes hadn't shown up, I would be dead!" Harry said.
"Third year," Ron continued, louder still, "you both fought off about a hundred Dementors at once-"
"That was a fluke too, if there was no Time-Turner-"
"Last year," Ron went on, "you both fought off You-Know-Who again-"
"Shut it!" I said, almost angry, because everyone but Harry was smirking now. "Just listen, okay? It all sounds great when you say it like that, but all of that was luck, and I was probably injured for most of it. I didn't know what I was doing half the time, I just did whatever I could think of, and Harry was always there to help-"
"Hey I didn't know what I was doing either!" Harry said.
They were still smirking. I started feeling angry.
"Don't sit there grinning like you know better then we do!" Harry snapped. "We were there, weren't we? We know what happened, all right? No offence to Max, but we didn't get through it because we're brilliant at Defence Against the Dark Arts, we got through it because help came at the right time, or one of us guessed right...but I didn't have a clue what I was doing- STOP LAUGHING!"
Harry stood up so quickly, he hit the table and the bowl of Murtlap essence fell to the floor and smashed. Immediately my hand began to sting and ache once more. Thankfully it didn't start bleeding.
The smiles on Ron, Hermione, Fang and Iggy's faces vanished.
"You don't know what it's like do you? None of you know- you've never had to face him the way we have. Do you think it's just about memorising a bunch of spells and throwing them at him, like we're in class or something? The entire time you know there isn't anything between you and death except for your brain or your bravery or whatever. You can't think straight when you're a nanosecond away from being killed, or tortured, or from watching a friend die- that's not taught in school. We don't learn how to deal with things like that. And you lot just sit there and think we're some smart kids to be standing here, alive, and Diggory was stupid, like he messed up because he's dead. You don't get it, it could have easily been me or Max, or the both of us-" Harry snapped, his fists clenched.
"Harry-" I started, reaching for his hand. He pulled it out of reach.
"We didn't mean it like that, mate," Ron said, looking aghast. "We weren't having a go at Diggory either, we didn't- you've got the wrong end of the-"
He looked at Hermione, whose face was stricken.
"Harry," she said timidly, "don't you see? This...this is exactly why we need you two... you both know what its really like...facing him... facing V-Voldemort."
Harry sighed and sat down. It was then that he noticed I was clutching my left hand, which was starting to bleed slightly again. "Max, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have smashed the bowl."
"Yeah, maybe you shouldn't have..." I muttered.
"Will you guys...think about it?" Hermione asked. "Please?"
We nodded.
Hermione grinned. "Okay, good. Well, I'm off to bed. Goodnight."
Ron got to his feet too. "Are you guys coming?" he asked the rest of us.
"Yeah," Iggy yawned. Him and Fang stood up and went up the stairs to the dorm.
"I'll be up in a minute, I should clean this up," Harry said, pointing at the shattered bowl on the ground. "I'll help you," I said.
"No, no you should go to bed. You've had a long night," Harry said, smiling at me.
"Okay... I'll see you in the morning?"
"Yeah of course," Harry grinned. His green eyes were dull from tiredness.
"Goodnight Potter."
"Goodnight Ride."
And there's the chapter! Hope everyone enjoyed!
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