Chapter 13: August 13, 2014 – Astronomy

Challenge: for the livejournal 2014 August Fic-a-Day Challenge.

Timeline: AU TBBT season 3 because the university doesn't approve him working with/for Sheldon, so Raj does get deported; this is before Sinistra became the Astronomy professor in HP.

Disclaimer: BtVS/AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. HP characters belong to JK Rowling. TBBT characters belong to Chuck Lorre, Bill Prady and CBS. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

Buffy's office

Even before Jon came to talk to her about the appalling state of the Astronomy course, Buffy was already trying to think about how to change it. To require young students to stay up so late for a class was ridiculous. It totally messed up their sleep patterns doing that.

And they couldn't give Buffy the bullshit line about needing to do it live because electronics didn't work in Hogwarts, because planetariums preceded electricity. At least for the younger students, a basic model of the night sky would be sufficient for the things they needed to learn.

But it was Jon's visit that made her excited that they would be able to teach graduate-level astronomy – or whatever they called it here – with the combination of charms and an in-depth model created by an astrophysicist/engineer team from California. The night sky they were able to recreate put the current sky charts available in the Wizarding World to shame.

Unfortunately, the current professor refused to lower himself to using Muggle technology. He was from a proud, traditional pureblood family and if it was good enough for his great-grandfather, it was good enough for him!

This was one of those times that Buffy felt it would be okay to buck tradition. She asked some witches and wizards she trusted if knowing more accurate detail would backfire on them, but the ones who had scientific leanings like Zelda and Willow actually told her that it improved their rituals and potions to have more information. Already Zelda was able to improve the Wolfsbane potion to the point that it only needed to be consumed within a week of the full moon rather than the night of it, and she had high hopes that she could extend it even longer.

Pasadena, CA

Jon contacted Dr. Koothrappali to request a set of the metal-punched sky charts he and Mr. Wolowitz created. It wasn't that they were the first ones to make such a set; it was that they had up-to-date representations and were able to craft new charts with relative ease. The plan was to use the sky charts, combined with a charm or two to create a night sky in a newly-designed planetarium at Hogwarts. Since it didn't require electricity, it wouldn't have any problems working there.

As soon as Jon learned that Dr. Koothrappali – Raj – was looking for work, he quickly told Buffy, and they flew out to California to meet with the man.

That had to be the oddest job interview ever conducted.

He knew his work and impressed the heck out of Jon, who was no slouch himself when it came to the study of the stars. The problem came when he was unable to speak in Buffy's presence. As soon as he noticed her enter the room, he cut off mid-sentence and didn't say another word until his colleague and friend, Howard Wolowitz came to his rescue.

"It isn't that he's smitten by you – although he'd have to be blind not to notice your beauty – it's just that he has selective mutism; he can't talk in front of women he's not related to unless it's in a large setting where there are more males than females in the room," Howard explained. "If there were like…thirty more guys in the room right now, and they were blocking his view of you, he'd be able to talk."

"What about teenagers? We'd like him to teach high school astronomy at a boarding school and there'll be girls in his classes," Buffy said, feeling her hopes for a new teacher diminish greatly. If he couldn't talk to half of the school, how would he be able to teach them?

Raj leaned over and whispered in Howard's ear, and Howard repeated what he said, "As long as they are under 18, it's fine. Apparently, as soon as they aren't jailbait anymore, he can't talk to them."

Oh, this had such a bad risk of blowing up in her face! He was already such a mess, and they hadn't even gotten to the part about magic being real yet. They might actually break him with that. She conferred with Jon, and he said that he thought the silent doctor might take the news better than they expected.

With that in mind, Buffy pulled out the forms that Willow had created for her. It was a magical version of a Non-Disclosure Agreement. Once they signed, they were under a gag order that they couldn't break, even if they wanted to. When Buffy countersigned, it meant that she would be punished if the gag order was falsely presented to them or if it was a method of covering up any wrongdoing. She gave one to Koothrappali and also one to Wolowitz, since it appeared necessary for him to remain in the room.

To say they were shocked was the understatement of the century. Buffy had to apologize for not having somebody with them who could perform magic, but she more than made up for it when she performed one of her katas, followed by catching a couple knives thrown at her by Jon.

"That is so cool!" Howard gushed. Raj nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

"So what we need is a teacher for preteen and teenage student who are learning magic. Knowing astronomy is vital to different areas of magic, so we'd like to make sure they get the best teaching possible. Right now they are forcing the students to stay up until late in the evening so they can watch the night sky. We'd like to make it possible for them to see the sky whether it's nighttime or not; whether it's hot, cold, rainy, snowy, clear…you get the idea. What do you say?" Buffy asked.

"Would you really leave us?" Howard also asked, sounding rather sad. Raj nodded miserably and whispered in his ear. "I hate that the university refused to let you work with Sheldon!" Howard exclaimed angrily. "But like you said, it's better than having to go back to India where you can't get a decent burger."

"Need an engineer?" Howard asked hopefully, already thinking about how annoying Sheldon would be without Raj there to deflect some of the sarcasm and insults.

Hogwarts

Buffy gleefully thanked the bigoted pure-blood professor for his service as she handed him his elf-packed bags and final pay at the end of the term. It wasn't her fault that he refused to believe her when she said she was replacing him with a Muggle. She gave him more than enough warning to find another job and pack his belongings himself.

In a few days, Rajesh 'Raj' Koothrappali would arrive and the restructuring of the Astronomy classes would begin in earnest. The tests done with Flitwick's charms on the metal-punched sky charts was a huge success, and whenever anyone needed to find Jon outside of class, they had a better than even chance of finding him in the planetarium, studying the sky.

It would be unveiled to the students come the next schoolyear…and be a big hit with them as well.

A/N: I know, it's unthinkable that I had a chapter with The Big Bang Theory and didn't include Sheldon or Penny, but to be honest, they weren't really necessary for the job interview – unlike Howard, who needed to be there for Raj.

Tomorrow…Hmm, I'm thinking DADA (or whatever it becomes).