As you well know, I am not the original creator of Harry Potter and I own nothing if the Potter-Verse.*
To OtherWorlder81, I know what you mean. It's nothing short of characteristic of him, poor guy is trying so hard though.*
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Darling left the Potion's classroom at a blind sprint. She stopped at the end of the corridor and listened for the sound of pursuing feet, even though she knew that Severus would never run after her... but maybe he'd walk fast. After a few minutes of hoping and watching, Darling gave up with a sigh.
Of course he wouldn't come after her. Not right now, at the very least...
Darling turned and climbed the stairs, deciding to stalk around the halls. She didn't want to go back to the commons. Her stomach was still hurting and she was still bleeding, but it was now more like a regular period. She didn't expect special treatment... even given what was happening... but it still hurt, both physically and emotionally. She needed him with her until this was over but she knew that he wanted his space.
Darling scrubbed fiercely at her eyes with the sleeves of her red sweater and wrapped her arms around herself. She didn't want to feel so alone so she looked at the paintings, taking in their various scenes and characters when a loud cackling stopped her.
"Girly goldy lochs has no bearses to stay with for Chrissymas!?" A voice said, cackling and making rude noises.
Darling whirled around in the corridor, looking for whoever had made the sound, but saw nothing. She'd never encountered Peeves the Poltergeist before, but she figured that it was him.
"No, I'm staying at Hogwarts for Christmas." She answered, continuing to walk down the hall. A loud squeal next to her made her startle.
"Poor little Goldy Locks with eyes so red...SOMEBODY HAS BEEN SLEEPING IN PROFESSOR SNAPE'S BED!" Peeves scretched loudly, his eyes malicious and a huge smile on his face. Darling paled.
"Peeves! Please, don't say that." She pleaded, looking furtivley up and down the hall. The Poltergeist cackled louder. Thankfully, there was no one else around, but that didn't mean that someone couldn't possibly hear it.
"But Goldsy-Gold Goldy Locks has been a bad bad girl... should peevesie tell Head Master about Goldy sleeping in a big bad bears bed? Was this one too hard or jussssttt right?" The ghost asked her, floating upside down and making the pictures on the wall rattle in their frames with his laughter. The occupants of the painting startled and made angry sounds, but Peeves didn't care.
Darling's nostrils flared, her chest heaving with upset and embarassment as the Poltergeist continued to taunt her.
"Oh, yes. We ghosties and ghouls know most everything... why, we even know the truth." Peeves said cryptically, sliding sly manic eyes towards her.
"The Head Master already knows, so just leave me alone!" She yelled at Peeves who looked down at her in shock.
"Oh well," he sighed dejectedly before a sinister look came into his wild eyes, "Peevesie still knows things about Mister Greasy that Goldsy doesn't. Things so creepy scary, bad bewarey that Goldsy would never want to be with him again." He came close to her face, stroking her hair with his ethereal fingertips. She pulled away, frightened.
"What are you talking about?"
Peeves only chucked, then fixed her with a look of pity. "Oh... poor Goldsy-Gold... we shan't tell."
He disappeared right before her eyes, leaving her feeling extremely troubled. What could he possibly know?
Severus was a scary man-this she already knew from expirience- but she loved him. Darling didn't think there was anything about him that would make her not want to be with him anymore.
She shook her head, tossing golden curls with the movement. She hurried down the dimly lit corridor to find her way back to the stair before Peeves or something worse decided to bother her again. Her thoughts were in a tangle as she neared the Hufflepuff House, her steps slow and unsure. She didn't want to sleep alone... but Severus had been adamnite that she didn't bother him.
Hurt crackled along the soft edges of her heart. He didn't mean it. You know he was just bothered by Dumbledor... he loves you. He said so.
She tried to be comforted by that, and it did lift her spirits slightly. She had no reason to doubt his love. Everyone had bad days.
She passed the kitchens, smiling at the familiar paintings of fruit and bread and Wine and cheese until she came to the shadowy alcove. The barrels were unassuming, but she lifted her hand and knocked to the rythm of "Hel-ga Huff-le-puff" and the barrel slid open to reveil the sloping passage that would lead to her common room.
Once inside, the barrel's lid slid shut behind her and she found herself in the cozy, sunny hued room. Plants hung from the ceiling of all manner and graced each and every table, and really... whatever flat surface that was available. Her eyes travled to the painting of Helga Hufflepuff above the mantle. She toasted with a golden goblet, her eyes twinkling.
It felt worlds apart from Severus's dark and chilly dungeon... Her face fell as the comfort of the familiar surroundings faded away. With her House empty for the holiday, she'd be completely alone. With that thought in mind-as well as the late time- she entered the girls dormitories through the large circular doorway.
She sat down on her bed, picking at a stray bit of thread on the brightly quilted duvet before throwing herself down upon her pillows. She'd been doing an awful lot of crying lately... but now it seemed that she couldn't cry. Nothing had happened.
Not really.
The Head Master was upset, but Severus didn't get fired nor she expelled, and he even told them they could continue their relationship- well, kind of. He wasn't too happy about it but as long as they remained discreet...
Severus was just tired and stressed. He needed his space... but when he was ready, he'd come back. She was sure of it. This thought consoled her. She went to use the bathroom and brush her teeth. Almost as an after thought, she wetted her hair brush and ran it lightly through her curls to break up any forming tangles and then she dressed for bed.
The comfort of her warm flannel night gown was much needed, and it seemed silly... but it really helped. The lights went off at her request and she snuggled under her blankets, clutching a pillow to her chest and pretending it was Severus.
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Severus sat infront of his fireplace with blood shot eyes and the sad aroma of whiskey on his breath. He was wallowing in misery. He pursed his lips, feeling beyond pathetic.
He'd begun drinking shortly after Darling left and he was definitely drunk. His head swam with disjointed thoughts that made perfect sense in the moment.
I don't deserve her.
How could he ever be enough for her? He was 30 years old, almost twice her age. She would grow up, but he'd always be the same surly man that children were afraid of. She'd mature and eventually... she would move past this school girl infatuation. He had no doubt she believed she loved him, but what did the girl know? She'd never even been kissed before him.
He was her first... and in a strange way it comforted him to know that she'd always remember him. You always remembered your first love... he sure did remember his.
The image of Lilly rose before his minds eye with a soft smile and he shut his eyes. Her figurative ghost had haunted him since the night he'd come to Godric's Hallow and found her body limp and unresponsive. He'd cried harder than he'd ever cried before. The small boy in the crib next to him also cried, not understanding. He hadn't known then that the Dark Lord had been vanquished, so he simply left. He couldn't take the small child with him, of course.
The boy, Harry, would start next year. He wished he could keep Lilly from his mind but it would be impossible when he'd have to see her and James Potter's son everyday...
He glanced blearily down at his glass before pouring the rest down his throat. He scorgified it and levitated it shakily back into his liquor cabinet with a sigh.
He truly was a masochist. He loved the pain that her memory instilled into him. He loved the way it made him feel alive and human... and that's why he held on. Even after all of these years, he kept her in his thoughts as a reminder of what happened when he allowed himself to care for others.
But maybe that was changing.
He had his suspicions that the Dark Lord was still out there... somewhere. His Dark Mark hadn't stirred since that day, however. All of the old Death Eaters believed that he was gone for good except for Severus... and maybe Lucius.
He frowned. Oh, Lucius. That pathetic, cruel, pretentious bastard. They'd once been good friends until Severus had turned to Dumbledor. His eyes finally cleared of hate after Lilly's death. He never believed in blood purification to begin with- being half blood himself- he was just angry. He was an upset little boy who wanted to hurt people as he'd been hurt... if he'd have known what kind of pain the Dark Lord had regularly inflicted upon his Death Eaters he doubted he would have ever joined.
There were months of his life missing in torture at the hands of his Master.
His thoughts took an even darker turn and his mind immediately flared at him in warning; Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.
He chuckled, a pitiful and humorless sound before he staggered to his feet and smoothed his clothing and hair. He reached into his nightstand drawer and pulled out a small vial. An energy draught. It wouldn't be as effective as real sleep, but it'd clear his mind and make him feel rested for about 8 hours... they'd been keeping him going for many years, after all. It was common for him to go three days before resting in the past, and even now two days wasn't so much of a stretch. He downed the bitter potion quickly, knowing for a fact that he could mix alcohol without any effect and he left his chambers.
Darling would be in bed by now, but that didn't matter. He wanted to see her and to apologise for his behavior. A part of him knew it was a bad idea to go with so much alcohol coursing through him and making his tongue loose, but he loved her. Before he knew it, he was staring at the hidden entrance to the Hufflepuff House.
All teachers knew how to get into each house, and the wards against male and female students entering each other's dorms didn't apply to them. They had to be able to get to the students in case of disaster.
He'd never been in the Hufflepuff common room before. He lingered, uncharacteristically nervous. What if she didn't want to see him?
Of course, she wants to see you. His mind growled, pushing him to go.
He knocked "Hel-ga Huff-le-puff" and the barrels slid open, allowing him access. He crawled into the narrow opening and out of the other side. The room was perpetually bright, even in the dark of night with the fireplace burning he could see that nearly everything in the room was either yellow or black. It was a room much like Pomona... and Darling herself. It felt like a Hufflepuff.
The thought made him smile as he made his way to the girls' dormitory. He passed by several empty rooms before he found Darling.
A small ribbon of moonlight spilled through the narrow window by her bed, allowing just enough light to see her. Her blonde curls were spread over the pillows. She lay on her side, hugging a pillow to herself and sleeping soundly. He watched her for several minutes, just breathing in the moonlight until he slid his arms underneath her and lifted her to his chest while he sat down and leaned back on her bed.
She stirred, her eye lids fluttering open. "Severus..." she whispered, "what are you doing here?"
He didn't answer, bending to kiss her gently. "I missed you."
He continued to cradle her in his arms, holding her like it would be the last time until she fell back to sleep.
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Severus awoke with a stiff neck and his arm tingling and burning with numbness in an unfamiliar sunny room. The scent of Darling hit him and he remembered fragments of his drunken journey to the Hufflepuff House. He glanced down at her slight form in his arms, she was still sleeping but he couldn't hold this position for much longer and it seemed as though it was time to awake anyway.
He pulled her tighter to him, ignoring the pain shooting up his arm and he kissed her.
"It's time to wake up, Darling."
She roused from slumber with a groan and Severus stood up, laying her back down on her bed. He scorgified himself to clean his clothes and hair, but his breath still smelled of whiskey.
She sat up, looking at him in confusion. "Oh... I thought that it was just a dream that I had... how'd you get in here? The girls' dormitories are enchanted to keep boys out."
He smirked at her, "I'm a man, not a boy. All teachers have access to the student dormitories, regardless of their sex." He explained.
"I didn't think of that." She blushed, running a hand over her night gown self consciously.
"Would you like me to wait in your commons while you dress?" He asked, looking at her with a slight smile. He wasn't making fun of her, but he had seen her undressed before... he'd even done the undressing.
"Um...yes, please. I'm sorry." Her face burned even brighter red.
He stepped out without a word. ducking through the rounded doorway and making his way to the bright commons. Severus examined the plethora of plant life that called the Hufflepuff house home. The ceiling was low, and several potted ivies and ferns hung from it, their leaves falling gracefully over the sides of their pots to dangle low enough to cause you to duck so they wouldn't brush the top of your head as you passed.
He heard soft footsteps and turned to see Darling who had pulled on an grey oversized muggle sweater and a strange pair of black pants that appeared to be skin tight. On her feet were flimsy black shoes and her hair was somewhat contained in a clip with tendrils framing her face.
It was the messiest look he'd ever seen on her, but he had to admit that it made his heart flop.
He wasn't a man who'd describe anything as being adorable... but she was. He enjoyed the relaxed look. He walked towards her with a smiled and leaned down to kiss her, his hand sneaking up and taking the clip out of her hair to allow it to spill down her back.
He pulled back, handing her the clip.
"Do you not like my hair up?" She asked quizically, one golden brow raised.
"Not particularly." Severus answered her.
"Oh..." she glanced away but Severus shook his head, clarifying.
"I just prefer it like this. I love the way your curls spill over your shoulders and frame your face. You remind me of one of those muggle toys... a porcelain doll."
She blushed furiously, a nervous giggle escaping. "Thank you, Severus."
After spending some time lounging around Darling's common room he slipped out, instructing her to wait a few minutes before heading to breakfast to avoid arriving together.
He sat down at the table across from the Gryffindor Wisener twins who shrinked away and fell silent at his presence. He raised a brow at them but said nothing. Feigning boredom as the girls ate.
Head Master Dumbledor was already seated, engaged in polite conversation with Minerva. The man glanced in his direction but said nothing, his eyes flickering to the chair that Darling would be occupying momentarily with a glimmer.
A moment later the Hufflepuff entered, walking in shyly. Dumbledor turned and looked at her with a smile that shocked Darling, but when he gestured to the seat besides Severus she went quietly and sat down.
Her plate immediately filled with Eggs, sausage, and hashbrowns with a side of jellied toast and a cup of coffee that she added sugar and cream to. She ate in silence next to him, relaxing only when Severus brushed her thigh with his hand under the table.
After Darling finished eating she turned to the Head Master. "Sir, may I go into Hogsmeade today to gather last minute presents?"
He watched her over his half mooned spectacles for a few moments before he smiled. "Only if a Professor is willing to escort you." His eyes slid meaningfully to Severus, who sighed.
"I assume that by your look you are volunteering me, Head Master?" He asked, his tone irritated. He wasn't looking at her, but he seemed to sense her sudden alarm because his hand returned to her thigh, giving her kneecap a reassuring squeeze.
"I insinuated no such thing, but that's very good of you Severus." Dumbledor said, his blue eyes full of mischief.
Severus frowned. "Indeed." He then rose from the table, pretending to be agitated. "If you are finished, go to your dormitory and put on more appropriate attire. Those ridiculous pants and shoes will leave you frost bitten within the hour."
Darling nodded, rising as well and going to change.