Calm down people, the torture scenes are over. I'm so sorry I had to do that, and I hated to write it. For all you Suki lovers, I'm sorry I had to kill her, but I couldn't have her be there and have Sokka get with Toph.

The Gaang is gonna pull a rescue soon, but first, I decided to prolong that, plus, some important things are gonna happen in the next few chapters. The next chap. after this is kinda dark, but after that, I'm done with the dark stuff, so hang on here!

Disclaimer: I'm a high schooler... what do you think?

Chapter 13: Paper Daggers and Memories

Ty Lee's POV: I may look it, and sound like it, and act like it, but I'm not dumb, or oblivious, or naïve. I just act that way. I know exactly what Azula has been doing to the Avatar's friend, who is very cute, and supposedly named Sokka. I know, because I'm the one who has been cleaning him up, and healing his wounds every night.

I don't know how I've been able to, because Azula's kept close eyes on me recently, plus, it was getting annoying how I hadn't been in my bedroom in almost three weeks. So I decided to sneak into my room, right after Azula forced me to help with the torture. I was, right now, walking away from the prison, just outside the Capital city, to my house. I looked up at the sun and frowned. It was about three hours past midday, so Mai would be out, practicing knife throwing at the palace with trained guards, so I couldn't visit her.

My entire family was out, like Mai's so we both had the house to ourselves. Mai and my houses were actually right next to each other, and our bedrooms were lined up to each other. When we were little, we'd open our windows late at night and whisper to each other across windows, or I might leap into her room, or she would fold notes into little paper daggers, and throw them into my room. She became so good, she could get it into my pillowcase. Whenever she wanted to tell me something in secret, she would slip a note into my pillowcase. We never told anyone that, not even Azula. It was our secret.

I finally reached my house, where I ran up to my bedroom, and flopped down onto the bed. It was always so comfy, it could seriously swallow me alive.

As soon as my head hit the pillow, I heard the crinkle of paper. My face widened into a grin, and I reached into my pillowcase, and pulled out a large sheet of paper. It had to be from Mai! I hadn't talked to her in three weeks!

I unrolled it and read. But my eyes widened as I read what was on the page.

Dear Ty Lee,

Before I say anything else, I want you to know that you always have been, and will always be remembered by me, as my first, and best friend. But, you probably know by now that Zuko has joined the Avatar (if you didn't… well… surprise!) and now so have I. It isn't just because Zuko is doing it though. I've noticed what awful things Azula has done, what awful things our nation has done. We've wiped out an entire civilization to the point of their only being a single Air Nomad left. Who could do such things and say it's because we wanted to SHARE our greatness. If sharing equals mass killing, like it has, than I have to say I'd like the war to end in the Avatar's favor. I'm not trying to force my opinion on you, I just want you to look back at the last few months and ask yourself if it is truly the path you would have chosen. I hope I can see you after the war is over, without having to fight you. Good luck in everything you do, and good bye. I'll miss you Circus Gal, even if you sometimes drove me up the wall, I luv you like a sister!

--Mai

I read over the letter again, making sure I got this right. Mai switched sides!? I couldn't believe it! I was kind of expecting Zuko to switch over, but Mai! I couldn't believe it.

Why didn't Azula tell me about this? I wanted to make excuses for her, but inside I knew she was probably trying to distort the truth for me, just to make me fight harder. It isn't the first time she would've done it.

Mai did ask me to think about Azula, so I guess that's what I'll do. The best way for me to look over the past couple of months would be for me to look back into my journal. I went to my shelves, and went to the chest marked Circus Jewelry & Clothes and dug to the bottom, and pulled out about seven books, wrapped together with string. I freed my diaries from the string and pulled out the most recent, and flipped back to that day I first saw Azula again.

I was stretching for tonight's show, when you'll never guess who came up to me, diary! Go ahead, guess! Give up? It was my childhood playmate, Azula! (See diaries one halfway through three)I was so happy to see her, but, as I guessed, she hadn't just come here for a visit. She was hunting down her banished brother Zuko (See diary 2) and she wanted my help. I kindly explained that I was happy here, and she accepted it! I couldn't believe it. Then she said she wanted to see tonight's show, and I believed it. Later at the show, the ringmaster decided to set the net on fire while I was balancing. I haven't a clue what possessed him to do that. The only conclusion I could come up with was that Azula asked him to, but it didn't make sense, plus, I don't think she'd be so pissed at me for saying no that she'd tried to kill me! I tried to put the flaming net out of my head, but that certainly didn't become a problem when all the animals mysteriously got loose. If I were to fall, I would either be killed by being burned at the net, or if I managed to avoid that, I would be trampled, and attacked my several wild and dangerous beasts. I could only come to the Azula conclusion again, but my mind shoved the thought away. Maybe the universe was just trying to tell me that I should leave the Circus to help my friend. I'm sure that is what it is. I will tell Azula that I am eager to join her mission when I see her next.

I just blinked as I read what I wrote. How dense could I get? I had always prided myself on being able to pick up things... guess I was really off track! How did I seriously believe that it was the universe hinting at me to leave the circus? At least I saw the truth now for what it was; one of my closest friends had threatened, and blackmailed me, and I just took it. I remembered when we went to Ember Island, she openly insulted me, basically calling me a slut, and I just forgave her, then she just laughed when Zuko was teasing me. Only Mai stood up for me. Then I just forgave her again. Now I am just forgiving her as she horribly tortures the guy I kind of like. Why do I put up with it? Maybe my diary explains.

I eagerly reread all of my journal entries, seeing one truth after another, after another. I had ruthlessly chased the Avatar and his friends all through the night, wearing them thin, and then attacked them at their weakest like a coward. I had attacked those girls, left them hurt in a huge forest without any one to come help them, and stripped one of them almost naked. Then we infiltrated Ba Sing Se, and attacked all those men, and overturned the city, putting men against their families and friends. I had ruined so many lives, and I did it with a happy, oblivious smile on my face. I can't see how I had lived with myself. Sure, Mai and I sometimes helped clean up torture patients, but it doesn't excuse the fact that I hurt people.

I quickly pulled out one last thing. It was my history book. It was called "The Spread of Our Empire". I re-read everything I already knew, but now I looked at it though a different person's eyes. It really didn't sound like we were trying to help the world! It sounded as if we are a horrible, corrupt nation who is fixated on conquering and destroying the world. And I found that I was disgusted with the Fire Nation, and that I had a strong desire to help defeat the one man who was encouraging this fighting. I had a desire to join the Avatar.

I sighed. This would have been so much easier if one of my used to be close friends wasn't the Fire Princess.

I suddenly felt myself pulling out my travel bag. I felt myself putting my favorite clothes, toiletries, and hair things in the bag. I looked up to the scroll of my great Grandfather's. Something told me to take it. I slipped the scroll into my bag, then I felt myself put on the charm bracelet Mai had gotten me for my last birthday, the one with all of the four nations insignias on it. The bracelet almost seemed to guide my way, as if it was leading me to my friend. I felt myself go around the back of my house, take my pet Salamander Lizard, and rode to the prison where they were keeping Sokka so I could free him.

I got there and gaped. There was about five times the amount of guards that were there. Azula must know. She must know that I'm switching sides; why else would she multiply the guard count five times over? There was only one way I was going to get out of the Fire Nation alive.

"I'm sorry Sokka!" and I turned and headed towards the mountains, which is where my bracelet led me. I forced myself to keep pressing forward, hoping that the Avatar's group would accept me, and hoping Mai would still feel the same about me.