And I am back! Sorry I haven't updated for a couple days, I got busy with school. Yay me. But now it's the weekend! And I'm back! Also, I've been more focused on drawing. I have no idea why, but it's like this creative chamber inside me opened and I just need to unleash all my creativity. It really sucks when you want to do one thing, but at the same time you want to do another thing. That's me, times three. I want to write, draw, and play Sims 3. Anyways, enough of my inner conflict. Onto the chapter!

Summary-His life had been ripped from his heart right then and there. The second he saw the love of his life fall to the floor, his whole world shattered. But let's start at the beginning, shall we? Where the first hopes of love started blossoming, becoming real instead of dreams. Back to that case where it all began, where it all ended. Right before their eyes.

Relationships- Reid/Morgan, JJ/Will, Garcia/Kevin, pretty much all the canon relationships (except for R/M).

Rated: M, just to be safe

WARNING: THERE IS DETAILS ABOUT SELF HARM, MINOR DETAILS ABOUT RAPE, TORTURE, ABUSE, ADULT LANGUAGE, AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN!

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds!

Chapter 12: Break

"Don't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the stars."

~Violeta Para

Reid stood in the bathroom later that morning, the door shut. He held his phone in his shaking hands, pacing back and forth as he contemplated what to say and if he was even going to call. He had promised Morgan that he would break up with James, for both their sake, but his stomach is a bundle of nerves. How could he call and break up over the phone? James would be furious.

After a couple deep breaths he looks down at his phone and finally dials the number. His thumb hesitates over the call button. This was the final step before he couldn't back out. One that he had to take, or else he might end up dead one day because James couldn't control himself. And so, with his mind made up, he hits the button and presses the phone to his ear.

"This better be good you slut," James's angry voice says over the line after the third ring. Reid feels his whole body tense up, but he doesn't allow his words to catch in his throat. He has to do this.

"James," Reid says, trying not to let the tremor in his voice be noticed. "We...we need to talk."

"About what? About how you're a lying, cheating bastard?" James practically shouts and Reid tries not to pull the phone away from his ear. He can already feel a headache. "Yeah, that's right. I know about what you did with your little fuck buddy, what he let you do to him. What he did to you."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Reid replies smoothly, though on the inside he's panicking. How could James had known? He doubted that he did, James was probably just trying to distract him.

"A little friend told me. Said he saw you two under the covers, goin' at it like two rabbits." James answers casually, though the anger is obviously still there. Seconds from exploding. "Do you know how that makes me feel Spencer? Huh? Do you even care about-"

"No, James, I don't." Reid instantly snaps, cutting James off. "I don't care because you never care about me. Don't pretend I haven't noticed you sneaking around with other women and men, I'm not stupid. I'm a profiler for god's sake! I noticed it the very first time you came home late smelling like perfume!"

James is quiet for a long while, probably trying to think of a way to shoot down Reid's sudden burst of confidence. "You don't know jack shit about what I do. You're a shitty profiler, that's why you never catch the bad guys on time. You're too slow and too dumb to catch them before they kill another victim. And do you know what? That victim probably thinks 'where is the police?' Oh what a burden that must feel like to you."

"James, stop," Reid says, his voice shaking as he feels the tears sting his eyes. "I'm done, okay? I'm done listening to you tell me how worthless I am and how pathetic I am. I'm done."

"So, what, you're breaking up with me now?" James asks, sounding disbelieved. "You know what? You're not even worth it. You're too fucking pathetic for me to even worry about losing. This is something I've been planning to do for months-"

"It's over. We're done." Reid hisses through clenched teeth, trying not to let the tears fall. How had James had this bad of an effect on him? He thought he had been over the harsh words, thanks to Morgan's help. Apparently he was wrong. "Get your shit out of my apartment and never return."

"Fine. But don't expect me to be so kind to your shit at my place. All of it goes in the trash."

"I don't care."

Without even a goodbye, which Reid didn't expect, James hangs up. He hangs up his own phone and stares at it for a few moments. A numb feeling temporarily spreads throughout his chest, until the whole wave of emotions spreads throughout his body. He feels the tears stream down his face as he leans against the wall, sliding down to the floor with choked sobs as he throws his phone to the side. He felt somehow lighter, but that sudden feeling of freeness had been returned with another darker feeling, like something bad was going to happen within the next few days.

He barely even registers the knock at the door. He only looks up at the mirror above the counter and instantly feels a sudden burst of self hate. He quickly stands and pulls his arm back, only to punch the mirror in the center a few seconds later with an angry shout. He watches as small shards of glass fall down onto the counter, the image of himself in the mirror becoming distorted.

"Spencer!" Morgan shouts from the other side of the door, banging with his fist. Reid had locked the door to make sure that Morgan didn't bother him during the call, or after.

His eyes slowly drift down to the glass on the counter and a dark thought rushes through his stressed mind. With shaking hands he reaches out and picks up the best looking piece of glass for the job, a skinny piece with a sharp tip. He then sits back down where he had been only two minutes before and quickly pulls his sleeves up.

The cuts on his arms had been healing nicely. It didn't make any difference, seeing as he would add more cuts to his arms anyways. He places the glass against his pale arm, not even caring if it was over an older cut or not. As long as he felt something else other than emotional pain. He doesn't care. He's just keeps cutting, barely registering the blood that slowly runs down the side of his arm as he makes a fifth cut, crossing two others in the process.

"Spencer! Open this fucking door!" Morgana shouts as he continues banging on the door, temped to just kick it down. He had heard Reid punch the mirror and he was scared to know what Reid was doing. "Please!"

Reid ignores him. He just keeps cutting, and cutting, and cutting, until it comes to a point where he doesn't even register that he's doing it anymore. He's just staring ahead at the cupboards opposite of him, the blood running down his arm to drip onto his lap and the floor. His thumb and index finger of his opposite hand had been cut up and are both bleeding, but he doesn't care. He just feels numb.

Finally the door is flung open after Morgan managed to pick the lock. When he sees Reid sitting on the floor, arm held out in front of him as he draws a piece of glass over an already existing cut, he reacts instantly. He quickly rushes forwards and grabs Reid's other wrist, pulling his hand and the glass away from his bleeding arm.

"No!" Reid cries as he instantly tries to pull out of Morgan's grasp. He clenched the glass tightly in his hand, enough to where the sides dig into his skin and made shallow cuts that start to bleeding over the already bloodied shard. "Please! Just let me die!"

Morgan stops, staring Reid directly in his pain stricken eyes. "Spencer, you know damn well that I would never let you die. Not like this."

"Please.." Reid sobs as his hand relaxes. He drops the glass to the floor, his tears blurring his vision as they stream down his face in angry rivers. His head hurts and he can barely breathe through his nose but he doesn't care. He actually contemplates to stop breathing altogether, but he knows it won't work. Morgan would be there to force him to breathe.

"Oh baby boy," Morgan whispers, unsure of what to do. He had never been in this situation before, and with the person being Reid, the love of his life, he felt absolutely terrified. Helpless. What could he do? Put pressure on the injuries until they stop bleeding and then run his arm over warm water, washing with soap.

And that's exactly what he does.

Morgan grabs a towel from one of the drawers and instantly wraps it around Reid's bleeding arm. Reid is now a complete, hysterical mess. He's freely sobbing, his whole body shaking as he cries and begs for Morgan to kill him, to finish the job.

"Shh," Morgan whispers as he gently pulls Reid onto his lap, still holding the towel. He hugs Reid close, strong arms holding him in a protective embrace that he doesn't ever want to let go of. Reid instantly buries his face against Morgan's chest and cries, gripping the front of his shirt with one hand while Morgan adds pressure to the towel on his other arm.

"You're okay baby, everything's okay," Morgan whispers softly as he rests his chin on Reid's head, gently rubbing his back with his free hand. "I'm here, you're safe, whatever he told you isn't true. You are an amazing person, you are loved. I'll always be here, I love you so much."

This only makes Reid cry harder as he curls in on himself, his head now hurting from how hard he was crying into Morgan's chest. His arm is stinging from the multiple cuts as the blood bleeds through the towel, leaving small traces on Morgan's hand.

They stay like that for a long time, Morgan whispering soothing words to Reid while Reid pours all his emotions into his crying. Not once did he stop for a break, he couldn't even if he tried. And Morgan doesn't stop him, he just lets him cry as he reassures him that everything will be okay, that he is loved in more ways than one.

Eventually Reid's sobbing turns into quiet sniffles as he slowly grows exhausted. He just lays there against Morgan, staring blankly at the white colored wall as the tear streaks on his cheeks slowly dry.

"Let's get your arm washed," Morgan says softly as he gently uses his free hand to sit Reid up. His heart breaks when he sees the state of his lover. Reid's eyes are red and puffy from the crying, his cheeks flushed and still wet. There are bags under his eyes and the dark circles around his eyes look darker, almost black.

Reid doesn't argue as Morgan helps him stand on shaky legs. He doesn't say anything and Morgan turns the faucet on and carefully washes away all the blood from Reid's pale arm with warm water, using a small dab of soap to was the cuts.

When Morgan finishes he uses a fresh towel to gently dry Reid's arm, not wanting to make any of the cuts bleed again. He stops and throws the towel in the basket. He's about to pull away when Reid instantly wraps his arms around him in a tight hug, burying his face in Morgan's shoulder.

"I'm so, so sorry," he whispers with a shaky voice, as he is on the verge of tears once more. Morgan stays silent and gently wraps his own arms around Reid, pulling him closer. "I never...I...I never wanted you to see me like that...to see me hurting myself. I...shouldn't have begged you to kill me and I'm...I'm so sorry I put you through that. No one should have to see something like that-"

"Spencer," Morgan says softly as he rests his cheek against Reid's soft hair. "You don't have to apologize. Yes, it was hard to see you like that, but I'm glad I did. I stopped you from doing anything too severe. I stopped you before you tried to actually kill yourself. I love you so, so much, too much to lose you."

"I'm sorry," Reid whimpers as he grips the back of Morgan's shirt, his arm stinging at the action.

"Baby boy, it's okay," Morgan says with a sad smile as he gently rubs Reid's back. "I understand. People have bad days, I get it. Some days are worse than others, this one just happened to be worse. But when the worse does happen, I'll always be there to protect you, to comfort you, to wrap you up in my arms and hold you until you don't have anymore tears left. Because I love you too much to see you hurting like this."

Reid doesn't reply. He just tightens his grip on Morgan, a few tears slipping through his closed eyelids. He doesn't know how to explain how relieved he is to be hearing Morgan say these things. He felt somewhat happy that Morgan would always be there for him. The love that swells in his chest causes all the hurt and self hate to slowly melt away, being replaced with a warm fuzzy feeling of love.

"I love you so much," Reid whispers as he tilts his head back to face Morgan, a sad smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Promise me...promise me you won't ever leave? Please, I can't-"

Morgan cuts Reid off as he places a gentle kiss to Reid's soft lips. Reid instantly melts into the kiss, eyes closing as he kisses back. His whole body shook with delight and just pure, raw affection for the darker man in front of him. It's at that instant that Reid knows he can't ever go back to the way things had been before. He just loves Morgan too much to lose, and he doesn't ever want to leave.

They break the kiss a few minutes later, both panting as they rest their foreheads against each other. They stare into one each other's eyes, the love for each other couldn't be explained in any way.

"I promise I'm never going to leave you," Morgan says softly as he cups Reid's cheek. He smiles when the younger leans into the touch, a sad smile playing on his pink lips. "Now, why don't you go and take a nap? All that crying must've tired you out."

Reid only nods as the two pull away from one another, a shy smile playing on his lips. They walk out of the bathroom, Morgan making a mental note to clean up while Reid slept.

The ringing of a phone causes Reid to jump, his breath catching in his throat as he looks over at Morgan who is holding his phone, eyebrow raised as he reads the caller ID.

"It's Hotch," he says as he looks back up at Reid, who nods. Morgan answers, putting the phone on speaker. "Hey Hotch, you've got both me and Reid on the phone."

"I think we might have had a break in the case," Hotch says, wasting no time as he gets to explaining. "We couldn't find much in common with the victims, besides the fact that they were gay."

"We already know this Hotch." Morgan says impatiently as the two walk over to the bed and sit down, hand in hand. "Did you find something else that links them together?"

"Yes," Hotch replies almost instantly. "We recently just talked to the partners of the victims. All of the victims had trouble with some form of self harm, the two most popular being burning and cutting."

"Self harm?" Reid asks as he tries to keep his voice at a regular pitch. "Had there been any breaks between? I mean...where they resort back to hurting them self?"

"The victims had actually been clean for a few months to a year," Hotch answers, with a slight change in tone that no unskilled person would have caught. There was the tiniest hint of an edge to his voice, he was suspicious of something. "They all had just recently hurt themselves due to the buildup of stress over a period of time."

Morgan and Reid exchange a look, frowning. Then Morgan asks, "why self harm victims though? What could catch the unsub's eye with killing them?"

"Maybe he thought of himself as a savior of some sort?" Reid suggests without really thinking. Then he quickly explains himself, "I mean, self harm is usually misinterpreted as wanting to die. Maybe this unsub thinks that when the victims hurt themselves they wanted to die, so he kills them in order to help them."

"It makes sense," Hotch says, sounding like he's in thought. "I'll have Garcia check with local hospitals for any suicide attempts within the past year. Both of you need to get out tonight."

"Will do," Morgan says and the two hang up. He slips his phone back into his pocket and looks over at Reid who is staring down at his lap, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. "Spencer?"

"Sorry," Reid quickly says as he blinks a few times, as if fighting away tears. "I'm okay."

Morgan smiles sadly as he takes Reid's hand in his own. "Everything will be okay, I promise. When we catch this guy we'll both go home and you can move in with me, seeing as this James fucker knows where you live. It'll all be okay, I'm going to be with you the whole time."

"I love you," Spencer whispers as he gently leans against Morgan, resting his head on Morgan's shoulder.

"I love you to, baby boy."

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so that you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

~Marilyn Monroe

A/N: A couple little questions for you guys. How am I doing with the personalities? Am I catching them right, are they too different, are they right? How am I doing with catching the emotion? Is it too much or too little?

Don't forget to review/follow/favorite! Have a nice day/night! Thank you for reading!

(Everything happens for a reason, so something good should come from the bad! So keep your head up!)