AN: Twilight isn't mine.

EPOV

Dreams. The dreams were getting to me. I thought they were figments of my imagination, but they aren't. These are real, and if I ever want to face my biological parents again I need to sort through these.

I told Carlisle about the dreams, not what they were about, but that I wanted to talk to someone about them. He got Bella a shrink; he could get me one too.

My mother's face was coming back to me. I could see it more and more clearly. She was worried so worried, and sad. She looked like she wanted nothing more than to kill herself, but I was the one to go off the cliff, not her. She was so sad, and then I wasn't sure maybe I jumped from her persuasion. Maybe I fell, tripped over a rock. There was a huge part of me though that was sure that she had pushed me, that I had fallen to my almost death because my parents had tried to get rid of me.

There were three dreams. I never saw my dad, but he would talk to my mom. He pretended like I wasn't there. It didn't sound like he was asking his wife to kill his child, instead it sounded like he was asking her to put the fire out or roll up the sleeping bags, just another part of camping.

I was not oblivious in my dreams. I don't know how it actually played out, but I would fight my mother's arms. I wasn't going to allow her to push me off, but then I tripped. Or she would give up and we would go somewhere else where she would convince to jump saying there was a pool at the bottom.

My dad was always there, telling her to hurry up, to finish the job. She would look at me half-crazed, and then I would fall.

I would always wake up right before I hit the ground. I would wake up with the worst sense of vertigo. That was a memory. My vertigo was a long forgotten memory. I didn't know which one was true, but I know my mother's face was true. I know she was involved in my fall.

I berated myself for these thoughts for weeks. I cannot think this about my parents. They wouldn't have done that to me. They loved me. You heard how Bella talked about them. They loved me. They wouldn't have tried to…to. God I can't even think it.

Then Bella broke down crying. She needed a shrink, and I needed one too. I saw the hurt in her eyes when I told her that. She seemed to think she had somehow failed me if I needed a shrink, but no it wasn't her, she was so good. It was my parents my parents who…

It was frustrating my thoughts would die off, protecting my brain from the horrible images it still wasn't ready to face.

Carlisle had explained that I wasn't broken that wasn't why I needed to see a shrink, and I knew that, but deep down I couldn't help but wonder I my parents had been capable of what I think they did is it possible that I am capable of that as well.

George was a specialist. He specialized in patients with memory loss, especially children. I realized I was a child when I lost my memory, and that I had a refused a shrink then. I was stunned that I had relented, all because of the girl; I had changed my view on everything.

George asked me simple questions, my name, my birthday, my age, and so on, and now I had the real answers thanks to Bella. I was able to tell him all these things without lyin or giving him fabricated information.

George put me at ease. He had this way about him almost as if he radiated understanding. I could see why he specialized in children; he would not scare them off.

"So, Edward, tell me about the most important event in your life." It was a simple enough statement, and I assumed he meant the fall, but that was not the most important event of my life, not even close.

"I was at a bar one day and a girl fainted when I told her my first name. I think I fell in love with her right then, or back in love with her. It doesn't really matter." I looked and didn't see shock, but instead there was a slight smile around his lips. He had either expected this or been pleased about it. I could be sure which.

"Tell me about the girl." He asked very direct questions. Very simple, and that was good because I didn't think I'd be able to answer any big questions at the moment.

"Bella, that's her name, is the love of my life, or both my lives, before and after my fall. She is the one spot of eternal happiness in this sometime sad world, but she is hurting herself too much, and she relies too much on me. I nearly destroyed her once, and if that happened again. I don't…I don't know what I would do."

So much for taking it easy.

"She almost destroyed herself?" George asked this as if he suspected suicide, and it basically was slow suicide she put on herself. I hated to think of this.

"She drank herself into a stupor all the time. She was constantly drunk before I met her because she believed me dead. I don't blame her of course, but it is hard not to blame myself. If I could have been stronger if I could have fought my mother, if I could have run away back to her, she never would have gotten to that point. Never."

George looked like he was in shock for a second, but his cool demeanor slipped back on like a well-fitted glove. "Fight your mother?"

I stared at him in shock. He had managed to pry that out of me only by asking me about Bella. I was confused where had my head been going. Why was I not paying more attention to the words I spoke? I was being careless again, always so fucking careless. "My mother, I should have fought her when I had the chance." I gave a very vague answer. I had no idea if he could decipher what it meant. I don't know what Carlisle told him, or even what I had told Carlisle at this point. This man made me so confused.

"When and why would you have fought your mother?" It was the first fully formed question he had asked, and the way he said it, it demanded attention.

"I told you Bella thought I was dead, and it nearly killed her, but she only thought I was dead because m-…I fell." I stopped short. I couldn't say what I was dying to say and gauging George's reaction he knew that as well.

"You fell?" He said such simple words, and if he didn't know the meaning behind them, well there was no possible way that was true.

"I fell, nearly to my death when I was ten years old. I lost all my memories from before then. I had been hiking with my parents. The Cullens found me. I was in a coma, and near death for many weeks. I made it out alive though." I could say 'Much to the dismay of my parents.' He would know for certain then. I couldn't figure out why, but something was holding me back. I was letting as little information slip as possible. I didn't know why. I asked to some here. I wanted help, but I couldn't tell him anything. I couldn't open my mouth to do it, and all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had been talking about the reason I couldn't talk about it this entire time.

I needed to tell Bella. I needed to let her know before I could tell anyone else. She wouldn't judge me she loved me. I realized I would never be able to tell anyone else before I told her. I looked up at the clock realizing we had only a few moments left.

George had seen something shift in my face. He knew I had come to a decision. I think he hoped it was my decision to tell him, but I believe deep down he knew that wasn't going to happen.

George asked me one more question he seemed very interested even before he asked it. He was looking for my response he didn't care about the verbal answer, and this all made much more sense when he spoke the next sentence because I wanted to storm out as he said, "Are you glad it happened that way?"

I couldn't understand how he could ask this, but I looked at it from an outside perspective. My life quality had technically increased. I had been stripped from a family who didn't love me enough to want me alive, and I had been placed into a family that loved me so much, and was wealthier, as the Cullens are much wealthier than most people. I had been loved my second life, loved enough for most people, but if I hadn't found Bella, if there hadn't been that freak meeting I know I would have been lost in this world. I would have survived and gone through my daily life, but now that I have her I can hardly bear to remember life without her.

In a word, "No, don't get me wrong I love my family, the Cullens, but I had Bella in the beginning of my life. I had Bella and there was no reason I should have lost her. There was no reason she should have lost me, ever. I had a family who didn't love me one hundred percent, but I had her who loved me more than life itself. I wish it hadn't happened. I could have lived in a dysfunctional family if I could have had my Bella."

"Well, that's all the time we have for today. Are you willing to come back next week?" I thought about this and realized I would be more ready next week. I would know myself better after explaining my worries to Bella. I didn't know why I had kept it from her for so long. I couldn't understand.

"Sure. I think next week is going to be good." I smiled. I was ready to face the world, and Bella was going to be by my side. She was going to know everything before some stranger in a room.

That's what I thought before I saw her. She was so confused walking out of her session. I was determined, but in that moment she seemed to be lost and I couldn't figure out why. She looked at me with pure love, and it staggered me. It renewed my resolve to tell her, just not now. She didn't seem up to it right now.

That thought continued for the rest of the day, and the next and the next, and finally we were lying in bed and I realized I had therapy the next day, and I still hadn't told her.

I just dove in. "Bella, I need to tell you something. Well, you know how I can't remember anything from before? Well that sort of changed when I met you. Not completely, but I get these dreams of my parents, and they are really weird. I mean really weird. I see my mom all the time. I never actually see my dad, but I hear his voice. I see my mom and I am struggling, and Bella I think I didn't fall. I think my parents may have orchestrated it. I know it sounds crazy, but really I just I get the feeling that these dreams are not just dreams, but memories coming back to me in my subconscious so that it is easier to remember. I don't know why my parents would have wanted me dead though. It is the only part I can't figure out." I had started crying, but hadn't realized it until Bella stroked my wet cheeks. I hadn't even realized she had moved. She told me everything would be all right and that we would figure it out in the morning. I knew we would. We could figure out anything. So she held me tight and whispered sweet nothings into my ear until I fell asleep. I can only assume she followed shortly after.

AN: Thanks to jojobear33 for the review. I know it seems like a hassle, but it is such a great feeling to get a review. Anyways I just want to say that these chapters are difficult to write, and I really am trying, so, let me know what you think. I am very new so leave me a review and I will be eternally grateful. FYI school started up again for me this week, and it is hell. I got three hours of sleep last night because of a chem problem set, but I love you guys too much to not give you a chapter when its ready.