Title: The Iron Chefs
You are what you eat
---------------
Kuroro sipped his coffee complacently. He watched the dance of the leaves in various shades of green at the veranda. The man never thought that the surrounding was so pleasant to look at in broad daylight. The sun amplifying the colors of the trees, plants, and flowers in the garden, these things awed him. Kuroro did not expect this sudden appreciation of nature. But he could not help admiring at the scenery. Since when did he become like this? He looked at his companion and smiled.
Kurapika was so beautiful to behold. She perfectly belonged to the scenery. She was an angel in the midst of paradise, Kuroro thought. How long had it been? Three weeks? No. It had been a month. A month that Kurapika and the Ryodan had been living together, Kuroro wondered how long will it last as he gazed at the blonde contemplatively.
She was eating the strawberry crepe that Kuroro insisted her on trying. Her hair was like the sunshine that captivated him a while ago. Kurapika's eyes – the color of the sky- was clear as it moved from the scenery and down at her food. Her lips' motion seducing him as the blonde chewed, those peachy and soft lips. The man grinned.
Kuroro leaned towards the blonde and kissed her lips lightly. He retreated and stared at the blonde. The action made Kurapika stop from chewing her food. Kuroro noted as he swiped his fingers on the Kuruta's lips. He licked the said finger innocuously, strawberry, he grinned childishly.
Kurapika stared coldly at the man. She was used to Kuroro's way when they were in bed; but Kuroro's temperament in a usual setting sometimes startles her. Groping and Petting, the blonde thought wryly. And the kiss definitely was one of them. One of the unexpected kisses. Kiss number four, she identified, right it was kiss number four: the involuntary kiss. Kurapika sardonically recorded in her mind.
She sipped the orange juice and did not touch her food anymore. She lost her appetite.
They heard a sound of steps towards the veranda. Judging from the intensity and the quality of the sound of steps, Kurapika would wager that it was from Shalnark.
"Danchou!!" Kurapika's account was confirmed upon hearing Shalnark's voice.
"Shalnark." Kuroro addressed his Ryodan.
"Danchou! Phinx and Nobunaga…" he huffed
"They wrecked the kitchen!"
Kuroro stood and blinked. Wrecked the kitchen? It echoed in his mind. The state of the art kitchen appliances and devices wrecked by his Ryodan? Those were his personal choice. The ones that he enjoyed in using when he was cooking! The kitchen where he and Kurapika cooked together; where I cook for her!
He sauntered towards the kitchen without waiting for Shalnark to lead him the way.
Kurapika stood and followed. She wanted to know what happened to Kuroro's deemed kitchen.
-------------
A greenish slime covered the place. The silver coating of the refrigerator that was once slick looking now resembled a junk shop fridge. The stove that was once upon a time chef standard was covered with coal. Knives, pans, and other utensils scattered on the floor.
They saw Nobunaga and Phinx; each handing their comrades a plate of their food.
Nobunaga's dish was a yellow concoction with curbs and curdles of who knows what. The panel of tasters that was at his side – each either forced or bribed – stared at the food that was given to them. Machi blinked at her bowl, by the smell of the slimy fluid, she would bet that it was miso soup.
A much degraded version of miso soup. She snarled.
Franklin dipped his gigantic finger in the plate and gazed ludicrously at the yellow slime. Koltupi did not say anything but stirred the soup to withhold the tasting session.
Phinx's side, Feitan – who lost their bet in toss coin – removed his mask that revealed his detestation at the idea. Shizuku, naïve as always accepted the bluish fluid with some brown dumplings. "Are these edible?" she asked as she stared at Phinx's and Nobunaga's dish. Bonorenofu did not touch the plate and stared into space. How was he going to eat all these with his wrappings? Would someone help him in removing the wrappings of his body?
Shalnark gulped at the scene. He was purely mortified to sense their danhou's aura. Kuroro had been eerily silent when they arrived at the kitchen.
Kuroro's eyes twitched. His knuckles turned white as he fisted his hands at his sides. He convinced himself that he 'is' a patient man. And that he can deal with anything such as the manifestations of his comrades' volatile personalities. Yes, that includes their preposterous acts.
It can be replaced, calm down old boy. He meditated.
Nobunaga grinned smugly at their Danchou and poured profuse amount of soup in a bowl. He handed it with a confidence a chef would have to Kuroro.
"Danchou, it's miso soup." Nobunaga grinned and expected their Danchou to taste it in his presence.
Kuroro stared at the yellow slurping concoction. Compared to Kuroro's culinary skills, Nobunaga was considered an ant.
"Hmm." He hummed quite sarcastically at the samurai.
Phinx lifted his left brow less brow at Nobunaga. So it all comes to this. He thought and fixed a plate. He chopped the celery and garnished the bluish slab and brown dumplings with it. He handed it to their Danchou with the same chef- like confidence. Kuroro rolled his eyes. Phinx, he thought, was a critter compared to his caliber in cooking.
Kurapika arrived at the kitchen. She blinked. She wanted to yell at the ones who did this catastrophe in the kitchen. Sure, she expected a mess in the place, but this was beyond reprieve! Her obsessive compulsiveness triggered. She was about to grab a mop when…
A bowl full of who knows what was handed to her.
He looked at Nobunaga who wore a – you should be grateful – look in his face. Kurapika's brows furrowed, should she be thankful that the samurai bothered to give her the output of his cooking?
She was equally surprised to see that Phinx was giving her a plateful of blue slab. And what's that? Dumplings? She scrutinized the food. She accepted the food and went out of the kitchen.
Shalnark sweat dropped and looked at their Danchou who seemed ridiculed at the food presented to him. Their leader went out of the room and followed the Kuruta. Shalnark tried to follow but was blocked by a bowl and a plate. The two faces of the chef wannabes gave him a warning – taste or die. The sandy brown haired man would choose to hang himself than to taste their damn dishes. The last time that he had eaten Phinx cooking, he ended up incapable of using nen for a day! Whatever the ingredients the man put in his dish, Shalnark would not want to know. Nobunaga does not cook decently either! In his opinion, putting so much wasabi in sashimi was unreasonable and downright repulsive to intake. And oh, might he add that Nobunaga should was the fish before filleting it? Or get rid of the gills and the innards before forcing your comrades to eat it?
Now he was able to understand why their Danchou insisted in takeout meals than cooking assignments. The Ryodan thought that assigning chores was good. For in the first week of their stay, their Danchou and the Kuruta cooked for them. They thought that all the food that the others will procure was as tasty as the two had. And there it goes, the iron chef bet. Shalnark wrinkled his nose. They shouldn't have challenge themselves at cooking.
He obligingly took the plate and followed their Danchou. They sat in the living room and placed the plates in the table. He saw Kurapika who was stirring the yellow soup. Their Danchou breathing heavily and in deep thought.
Kurapika spooned the yellow concoction and stared at it. She decided to taste it; it would not hurt if she tastes it right? Leorio oftentimes cook as horrendously looking like this but it tasted fine. She lifted the spoon to her mouth when Kuroro grabbed her wrist.
"No!" Kuroro barked as he stood.
Kurapika's mouth was agape. She blinked twice. The blonde closed her mouth and glared at Kuroro.
"I should taste this first." Kuroro stated calmly.
Kuroro took the spoon from Kurapika's hand and tasted it. Shalnark stared at his Danchou; the man seemed so protective at the Kuruta. Is this the reason why Kuroro see to it that he will be the one who cooks the chain assassin's food? He thought.
He wanted the best for the Kuruta. He felt envy. Lucky Kuruta for the exquisite food.
He stared at the Kuruta. If their danchou's cooking was beyond heaven then, why was the blonde became thinner? His musings were stopped the moment their Danchou hummed as his eyes narrowed in slight disgust. It only indicated that the soup was not edible.
"Don't eat nor taste it Kurapika." He deadpanned and sat beside the blonde.
"Danchou…" Shalnark wanted to ask what the soup tasted and how did their Danchou survive the effects of it.
Meanwhile in the kitchen, Nobunaga and Phinx glared at each other. Their ten million bet, entitled Spider Iron Chef was too prestigious and costly for anyone to concede. Well, that's on the chef's part but the tasters' opinion was different.
Machi should have foreseen this. She should have warned them that she had a hunch that something might go wrong with the chef pick. And alas, the two most inexperienced were picked for their bet. Damn ten million bet. She berated herself. She stood and held the plates and gestured the others to gather in the living room. The other tasters followed which earned a protest from the two.
"Hey!" The two said in unison.
"The kitchen made me lose my appetite." Feitan said nonchalantly.
"Oh really?" Phinx followed them with a skeptical look.
Shalnark stared at the additional occupants of the room. Each sat unhappily in front of their plates. Nobunaga and Phinx stood with their arms crossed their chest.
Kuroro stood in front of the two.
"Clean the kitchen after this, do you understand?" he was deadly calm.
"Don't leave any spot on the fridge." He added.
Yes. Everything will be fine. Kuroro thought.
"Replace the appliances that were damaged. Same quality. And Shizuku dispatch the garbage." He authoritatively stated.
"Should we do that now or later?" Shizuku asked.
"You should taste the food first!" Nobunaga protested.
"Alright…" Kuroro intervened.
"Go ahead taste it." He smiled mischievously as he stood in front of the two.
And the tasting began…
Machi sipped the soup and swallowed the blue slab. She was very careful not to make the particles touch her taste buds.
"There! I tasted it!" she was relieved. Now, she would get her consolation of two million.
Shalnark did not taste the food which earned stare daggers from Nobunaga and Phinx. "There I lost it. What's the value of ten million compared to my life?!" he said bitterly as he pushed the plate away.
Nobunaga and Phinx glowered at the statement. They lost a vote from Shalnark. The chef who cooked the dish that was mostly tasted and eaten shall win. Same goes with the tasters. Whoever ate more he shall be the winner.
Shizuku ate the miso and the blue slab. She did not speak afterwards. Instead, she sat frigid in the couch, her eyes dolefully gazing into space. Nobody knew if her soul was still in her body. Koltupi and Bonorenofu did not touch the food. Damn the ten million bet. They managed to curse. Franklin tasted the dumpling and the miso. He went quiet. He was incapable to move afterwards. Feitan was obliged to eat Phinx's dish. He grudgingly chewed the blue slab with the dumplings. He closed his eyes and swallowed. Feitan smiled wryly. "There…" he stated.
So far, Phinx was on the lead. He smiled smugly at Nobunaga who was now fuming at his comrades.
He saw the samurai's visage. Since the miso was not as awful looking as the blue slab…the man decided to reveal something that of use… for the samurai that is.
"I tasted Nobunaga's Miso soup. Does that count?" he asked.
"It's a tie!" Nobunaga barked.
"Hmm…" Kurapika hummed.
Shalnark looked at the blonde. His eyes widened in bafflement. The Kuruta was chewing the food, and heck she was enjoying eating it!
Phinx felt appreciated. The blonde ate the dumplings and she ate it the right way. The Kuruta forked the brown dumpling and dipped it in the blue slab.
"You're eating it?" Nobunaga asked ludicrously at the blonde.
"Hm…" the blonde merely hummed at the statement and chewed.
She spooned the yellow soup "Sour but I like it." She mumbled and ate.
Nobunaga smiled lopsidedly. "'course its sour…"
Kuroro's eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the blonde. Kurapika was smiling; she enjoyed the food that was from the two Ryodan. Suddenly, he felt a slight pain in his chest. He never seen Kurapika enjoyed eating the food that Kuroro cooked for her. But now, she enjoyed eating the food that was inexpertly done by his Ryodan.
Machi and Shalnark were dumbfounded by the sight. The Kuruta wasn't feigning it. She was genuinely enjoying the meal. "Something is wrong with the Kuruta's taste buds." Machi murmured. "Sure there is…" Shalnark nodded.
"So it's a tie?" Kuroro declared, he recovered from his slight envy of the two Ryodan's cooking.
I should thank them for making Kurapika smile. He said to himself.
"So we shall divide the winnings!" Phinx scratched his head.
Kuroro ignored the others and sat beside Kurapika. He fixed his eyes on the smiling Kuruta. The girl seemed complacent at the food, he noted as he smiled.
"Congratulations, Iron Chefs." Kuroro murmured as he turned and watched his Ryodan sauntered towards the kitchen.
--------------
[Author's notes]
Consider this as a filler chapter. I can't help writing this chapter, especially when I'm daydreaming Culinary Chaos principle (Due to Christmas preparations I guess).
I felt so weird when I was typing this, I felt so sleepy. I forced my eyes to open that I literally gawk at the computer screen.
Karisa – Thanks for everything. I'm glad that you liked Chapter 12. I'm working on my drafts…thanks for waiting.
Yuna – 2005 – thank you very much for your remark. I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter.
mizoriju ishikanani 654 – I'll update as fast as I can…
Bleach Vs Naruto – Thank you for your reviews…I never thought that Nothingness would have that effect, addictive as what you have stated. I'm very glad to hear that from you.
Swords Heart – thank you for you liked Chapter 12. Hmm..so what I did in chapter 12 was a lemon?
Angelica – hisoka and illumi? I'll think about it.
Ea – Do you remember the Culinary Chaos Principle that I've discussed with you? It's getting the good of me. LOL. I'm reading too much reader's digest.
To others, thank you for reading this fic. I'm very sorry for the errors that were overlooked (for the author did not bother to). Please if you have any questions and suggestions PM or click the review button.